Editing 2665: America Songs

{{comic
| number    = 2665
| date      = August 29, 2022
| title     = America Songs
| image     = america_songs.png
| titletext = Juraaaassic Park, Juraaaassic Park, God shed his grace on theeeee
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a JURASSIC PARK SONGWRITER. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Many songs, particularly those written by Americans, contain the word "America." Randall has listed 6 such songs: "{{w|America the Beautiful}}", "{{w|God Bless America}}", Neil Diamond's "{{w|America (Neil Diamond song)|America}}", "{{w|America (West Side Story song)|America}}" from the Broadway musical ''{{w|West Side Story}}'', the Guess Who's "{{w|American Woman}}" and Green Day's "{{w|American Idiot (song)|American Idiot}}". These songs usually either praise the United States for its perceived virtues or mock it for its perceived flaws. Regardless of the content of the song, one could likely sing such songs replacing each usage of the word "America" or "American" with another four-syllable word or phrase with emphasis on the second syllable, without disrupting the {{w|cadence}} or meter of the song. Words and phrases like this are said to "{{w|Scansion|scan}}" with the word "America," which means to conform to that metrical pattern.

The comic provides a list of such names, most of which are locations. While some share virtues or flaws with the United States, most would fit into songs about the United States poorly, and only some are prominent enough to justify a song praising or mocking them. So the substitution is humorous for most of the examples. Other examples include Afghanistan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, Liberia, Nigeria, Bolivia, Siberia, Somalia, Albania, Bulgaria, Colombia, Cambodia, Armenia, Australia, Dominica, Estonia, Mongolia, Romania, Slovenia, Slovakia, South Africa, El Salvador, the Alamo, the Netherlands, and the Philippines.

Note that inhabitants of some real-world locations mentioned in this comic do not pronounce their names in a way that scans with "America". Also note that the adjective form of many of the places listed either does not exist or does not fit the same rhythmic structure as "American". (For instance, while "Antarctican Idiot" scans with "American Idiot", "St. Petersburgian Idiot" does not; meanwhile, "Canada" does not scan with "America", but "Canadian" does scan with "American" and was in fact used as such in Weird Al's parody, "{{w|Canadian Idiot}}".) In these cases, it would be necessary to use the noun form of the name to preserve the song's meter.

The title text provides an example: substituting "{{w|Jurassic Park}}" for "America" in the song "{{w|America the Beautiful}}".

A similar comparison in "scanning" was made in [[1412: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]].

===Table of names matching the rythmic meter of America===
{| class="wikitable"
! Name || Description
|-
! colspan="2" | Map
|-
| Sasketchewan || Spelled incorrectly, should be ''{{w|Saskatchewan}}''. A province in Canada, whose capital is {{w|Regina, Saskatchewan|Regina}} and largest city is {{w|Saskatoon}}.
|-
| {{w|Ontario}} || The largest Canadian province by population and 2nd largest by total area. Includes the capital of Canada, {{w|Ottawa}}, and its largest city, {{w|Toronto}}.
|-
| {{w|Olympia, Washington|Olympia}} || Capital of the state of {{w|Washington}}.
|-
| {{w|Yosemite}} || National park in the state of {{w|California}}. Pronounced "yoh-SEM-ih-tee" (/jəu-'sɛ-mɪ-ti/).
|-
| {{w|Los Angeles}} || Largest city in the state of California, and 2nd largest city in the United States. There is [[2480|another city]] under the same name in the state of Texas.
|-
| {{w|Lake Michigan}} || One of the five {{w|Great Lakes}} in the United States. Borders the states of {{w|Wisconsin}}, {{w|Illinois}}, {{w|Indiana}}, and {{w|Michigan}}.
|-
| {{w|Peoria, Illinois|Peoria}} || The county seat of Peoria County, Illinois, and the largest city on the Illinois River. The oldest permanent European settlement in Illinois, according to the Illinois State Archaeological Survey.
|-
| {{w|Columbia, Missouri|Columbia}} (MO) || Fourth largest city in the state of {{w|Missouri}}. One of {{w|Columbia#United_States|many cities}} in the US named after {{w|Columbia (personification)|Columbia}}.
|-
| {{w|Montpelier, Vermont|Montpelier}} || The capital of the state of {{w|Vermont}}, which is a three syllable word pronounced mont-PEEL-yur and thus is erroneously on this list.{{cn}} However, the demonym "Montpelierite" is in fact four syllables so it can be used for the "American" songs.
|-
| {{w|Schenectady, New York|Schenectady}} || City in Schenectady County, {{w|New York}}. In the 19th century, nationally influential companies and industries developed in Schenectady, including {{w|General Electric}} and American Locomotive Company (ALCO).
|-
| {{w|Centralia, Pennsylvania|Centralia}} || Near-ghost town in central {{w|Pennsylvania}} due to a {{w|Centralia mine fire|long running mine fire}} burning beneath the town.
|-
| {{w|Annapolis, Maryland|Annapolis}} || Capital city of the state of {{w|Maryland}} and home to the {{w|United States Naval Academy}}.
|-
| {{w|Columbia, South Carolina|Columbia}} (SC) || Capital of the state of {{w|South Carolina}}. One of {{w|Columbia#United_States|many cities}} in the US named after {{w|Columbia (personification)|Columbia}}.
|- 
| {{w|Vidalia, Georgia|Vidalia}} || City in the state of {{w|Georgia}}, known for their {{w|Vidalia onion}}s. Vidalia may not actually scan to "America", as it is pronounced "vy-DALE-yuh", not "vy-DALE-ee-ah" or "vee-DAHL-ee-ah".
|-
| {{w|Acadia National Park|Acadia}} || National park in the state of {{w|Maine}}.
|-
| {{w|Connecticut}} || US State, whose capital is {{w|Hartford, Connecticut|Hartford}} and largest city is {{w|Bridgeport, Connecticut|Bridgeport}}.
|-
| {{w|LaGuardia Airport|LaGuardia}} || One of the three major airports in {{w|New York City}} metropolitan area, named after former mayor {{w|Fiorello La Guardia}}. The [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoQEddtFN3Q ''West Side Story'' song in question] was performed on February 29, 2020 on [https://youtu.be/6d7Vk_qaiB8?t=150 ''Saturday Night Live''.] The airport was described in 2014 by [[Joe Biden]] as being like a third-world country.
|-
| {{w|Virginia Beach}} || Most populous city in the state of {{w|Virginia}}. Name is pronounced with five syllables when speaking formally, Ver-gin-ee-a Beach, but speaking quickly can be squashed into Ver-gin-ya.
|-
| {{w|The Villages, Florida|The Villages}} || An unincorporated senior living community in the state of {{w|Florida}}. Notable for its local newspaper, ''{{w|The Villages Daily Sun}}'', which was the only top 25 American newspaper (by circulation) to show growth in 2022.[https://pressgazette.co.uk/us-newspaper-circulations-2022/]
|-
| {{w|St. Petersburg, Florida|St. Petersburg}} || The fifth largest city in the state of Florida. Part of the {{w|Tampa Bay area|Tampa Bay metropolitan area}}.
|-
| {{w|Miami Beach, Florida|Miami Beach}} || A coastal resort city in Miami-Dade County, Florida, across the bay from the city of {{w|Miami}}.
|-
! colspan="2" | Below the map
|-
| {{w|Algeria}} || A country in North Africa. The largest and the 9th most populated country on the continent of Africa. Bordered to the northeast by Tunisia; to the east by Libya; to the southeast by Niger; to the southwest by Mali, Mauritania, and Western Sahara; to the west by Morocco; and to the north by the Mediterranean Sea. 
|-
| {{w|Armenia}} || A landlocked country located in the Armenian Highlands of Western Asia. It is a part of the Caucasus region. Singing "God bless Armenia" may anger some Calvinists who mishear the song.
|-
| {{w|Monrovia}} || The capital city of the West African country of {{w|Liberia}}.
|-
| {{w|Brasília|Brasilia}} || The federal capital of the country of {{w|Brazil}} and Brazil's 3rd populous city. Actually spelled ''Brasília''. 
|-
| {{w|Australia}} || A country which comprises the mainland of the continent of Australia. The world's sixth largest country by area.
|-
| {{w|Valencia}} || The 3rd most populous city in the country of {{w|Spain}}.
|-
| {{w|Byzantium}} || An ancient Greek city and capital of the {{w|Byzantine Empire}}. Its name was changed to New Rome in 324, Constantinople in 330, and finally Istanbul in 1930.
|-
| {{w|Assyria}} || An major ancient Mesopotamian civilization which existed as a city-state and then a territorial state and eventually an empire. The Assyrian Empire fell to the Babylonians and Medes in the late 7th century BC.
|-
| {{w|Beringia}} || A prehistoric land mass and region in the {{w|Bering Sea}} region. It is the most popular site of the hypothesized "land bridge" that early humans used to migrate to the Americas.
|-
| {{w|Antarctica}} || The earth's southernmost and least-populated continent, mostly covered by ice.
|-
| {{w|Sokovia}} || A fictional country in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Described to be in eastern Europe between Slovakia and the Czech Republic. Its capital city is destroyed during a battle between Ultron and the Avengers in the film ''{{w|Avengers: Age of Ultron}}'', leading to the ratification of the Sokovia Accords.
|-
| {{w|Andromeda}} || Several things: a {{w|Andromeda (constellation)|constellation in space}}, a {{w|Andromeda Galaxy|galaxy}} within that constellation, or the {{w|Andromeda (mythology)|Greek mythological character}} whom the constellation and galaxy are named after.
|-
| {{w|Lothlórien|Lothlorien}} || A realm of the elves in {{w|Middle-earth}} in the {{w|Tolkien's legendarium|works of J. R. R. Tolkien}}. Ruled by Galadriel and Celeborn. Actually spelled ''Lothlórien'' in the books.
|-
| ''{{w|Subnautica}}'' || Not a place, but an open-world survival action-adventure video game developed and published by Unknown Worlds Entertainment released in 2018.
|-
| {{w|metaverse|The Metaverse}} || The online world of {{w|virtual reality}}.  (To substitute into ''American Idiot'', the singer could use "don't wanna be a Metaverse Idiot" or "The Metaverse idiot".)
|-
| {{w|Econo Lodge|EconoLodge}} || Actually spelled ''Econo Lodge'', though their wordmark doesn't help. An economy motel chain in the US and Canada. 
|-
| Jurassic Park (title text) || Jurassic Park is the titular theme park of cloned dinosaurs in the ''{{w|Jurassic Park}}'' franchise of books, films, and other media. Inevitably, the dinosaurs escape and attack humans.
|}

==Transcript==
:[A header is written above a map of the US mainland:]
:<big>Places whose names scan to "America," so they can be substituted into songs such as:</big>
:''America the Beautiful''
:''God Bless America''
:Neil Diamond – ''America''
:West Side Story – ''America''
:The Guess Who – ''American Woman''
:Green Day – ''American Idiot''
:[Above the map, towards the left:]
:Sasketchewan
:[Towards the right:]
:Ontario
:[A number of places are marked on the map. From top to bottom, left to right:]
:Olympia
:Yosemite
:Los Angeles

:Lake Michigan
:Peoria
:Columbia (in Missouri)

:Acadia
:Montpelier
:Schenectady
:Connecticut
:LaGuardia
:Centralia
:Annapolis
:Virginia Beach
:Columbia (in South Carolina)
:Vidalia
:The Villages
:St. Petersburg
:Miami Beach
:[Below the map, in columns:]
:Australia
:Armenia
:Monrovia
:Brasilia
:Australia
:Valencia

:Byzantium
:Assyria
:Beringia
:Antarctica

:Sokovia
:Andromenda

:Lothlorien
:Subnautica

:The Metaverse
:EconoLodge


{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Substitutions]]