Editing 2745: Obituary Editor
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==Explanation== | ==Explanation== | ||
− | An {{w|obituary}} is | + | {{incomplete|Created by an AUTO-POST SYSTEM - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}} |
+ | An {{w|obituary}} is a usually short paragraph in a newspaper describing a local person who has recently passed away. They usually offer a few words of praise and a list of a few relatives, as well as a scheduled time for memorial services to be held some time after the obituary is published. | ||
− | Apparently, the editor of this newspaper's obituary | + | Apparently, the editor of this newspaper's obituary has just died. However, instead of somebody writing their obituary after the fact, as is conventionally done, the editor has seemingly taken matters into their own hands and written their own obituary. They (somewhat vainly) describe themselves as cool, attractive, and universally beloved, a dubious claim at best. The following sentence reveals that the editor had pre-arranged the scheduled release of this obituary, after their death, probably {{w|Dead man's switch|entirely automatically}}. |
− | + | Rather than the names of some close family (usually parents, a spouse, and children), the editor is allegedly survived by 8 billion people, or the current population of the entirety of Earth, who further are all heartbroken by the loss. All public spaces will now be reserved for a memorial service of the editor every single day (or, at least, the editor hopes they will be). | |
− | + | The title text references a common trope in culture, in which a person who has just died decides to challenge Death, or the {{w|Grim Reaper}}, to a game of skill (usually {{w|chess}}). Apparently, it is (possibly prematurely) claimed by the editor that they have challenged death to a series of games of skill (probably most or all variations of the trope, including chess), and defeated Death in all of them. Rather than gaining themselves a "second chance at life," however, as is usually the reward promised by Death for the dead person's victory, the editor's victory over Death has been so absolute that Death itself has been nullified for all of humanity. Hence no more obituaries will ever be required, as every human currently alive will now live forever. | |
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− | The title text references a common trope in culture, in which a person challenge Death, | ||
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==Transcript== | ==Transcript== | ||
− | + | {{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}} | |
− | + | OBITUARIES<br/> | |
− | + | The cool, attractive, universally beloved<br/> | |
− | + | editor of the obituary section has died,<br/> | |
− | + | hopefully of natural causes after a long<br/> | |
− | + | life. They take with them the password to the<br/> | |
− | + | heretofore unrevealed auto-post system. | |
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− | + | They are survived by 8 billion heartbroken<br/> | |
− | + | people. Memorial services will be held<br/> | |
− | + | daily in all public spaces from now on. | |
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{{comic discussion}} | {{comic discussion}} |