Editing 997: Wait Wait

{{comic
| number    = 997
| date      = December 30, 2011
| title     = Wait Wait
| image     = wait_wait.png
| imagesize = 
| titletext = You can't stab Carl Kasell. He sounds all slow and stentorian, but he moves like a snake.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me}} is an hour-long weekly radio news panel game show produced by {{w|Chicago Public Radio}} and {{w|National Public Radio}}. The show is hosted by {{w|playwright}} and actor {{w|Peter Sagal}}. This comic is making puns on the title of the show based on what Peter Sagal might have done that was newsworthy.

{{w|Carl Kasell}}, who also served as the newsreader on {{w|Morning Edition}}, is the show's official judge and scorekeeper.  I assume that is who [[Randall]] meant in the second paper in the second row and in the title text despite the Karl/Carl spelling confusion.  (This may be the point: that most people spell his name wrong, according to at least [http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/001020.html one source].)

In the 3rd row, first paper, {{w|Lakshmi Singh}} is NPR's national midday newscaster.

In the 3rd row, 3rd paper is a reference to a protest at {{w|UC Davis}} (on the campus of University of California, Davis) protests in early 2012 in which sitting, peaceful protesters were calmly pepper-sprayed in their faces by a police officer. That spawned an [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/casually-pepper-spray-everything-cop internet meme of epic proportions].

In the 4th row, 2nd paper is a reference to the movie, {{w|Ghostbusters}}.

In the 4th row, 3rd paper is a reference to Granny Weatherwax of {{w|Discworld}}, who carries a sign saying "I aten't dead" when having out-of-body experiences.

In the 5th row, 3rd paper is a reference to another internet meme in where someone leaves out the verb in the sentence. It is based on the [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-accidentally I Accidentally ___ meme].

In the 5th row, 3rd paper is a reference to the Eldritch abomination Cthulhu, from "{{w|The Call of Cthulhu}}" by {{w|H.P. Lovecraft}}. He is one the Old Ones, the Elder Gods, and is awakened by his worshipers chanting, "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" ("In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.") Hence the title, "Wait, Wait, Don't speak its name."

==Transcript==
:Headlines!

:Stockpiled in case Peter Sagal, host of NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, does something newsworthy in 2012.

:((Series of above-the-fold newspapers follows; Each has a headline, picture in most of them, and an explanation))

:Wait Wait Don't Shoot Me
:[A fierce Peter Sagal in a balaclava brandishes a gun in a supermarket]
:NPR's Sagal in Whole Foods hostage standoff.

:Wait Wait Don't Vote For Me
:Peter Sagal quits race for GOP top spot
:[A sullen and defeated Peter Sagal surrounded by supporters admits defeat]

:Wait Wait Don't Judge Me
:Sagal opens up about his Kermit fantasy.
:[Stock profile images of Peter Sagal and Kermit the Frog]

:Wait Wait Don't Fire Me
:[Stock profile image of Peter Sagal]
:Peter Sagal let go after racist tirade.

:Wait Wait Don't Cancel Me
:NPR axing news quiz.
:[NPR spokesperson delivering announcement]

:Wait Wait Don't Interrupt Me
:Sagal stabs Carl Kasell in on-air dispute.
:[Peter Sagal mid-attack with a knife]

:Wait Wait Don't Look At Me
:[Peter Sagal with a skin condition]
:Peter Sagal's Poison Ivy Ordeal
:Peter Sagal: "My 'Nam"

:Wait Wait Don't Friend Me
:Peter Sagal deletes his Facebook account.
:[Person holding up a laptop with an "Facebook account not found" screen]

:Wait Wait Don't Seduce Me
:How Lakshmi Singh stole Sagal's Heart.
:[A wistful Lakshmi Singh being left by a sullen Peter Sagal]

:Wait Wait Don't Leave Me
:[A wistful Peter Sagal being left by a furious Beth Sagal]
:Sagal's wife out after affair

:Wait Wait Don't Spray Me
:Police Raid Sagal's Occupy NPR protest
:[Scummy policeman in riot gear spraying Peter Sagal in the face point blank with what is essentially a food product]

:Wait Wait Don't Indict Me
:Sagal, five others named in cash-for-tote-bags scandal 
:[Peter Sagal doing a perp walk]

:Wait Wait Don't Clone Me
:Peter Sagal 'Outraged' over DNA harvesting.
:[Fiery Peter Sagal, missing a small amount of DNA, at a podium]

:Wait Wait Don't Bust Me
:Peter Sagal's ghost captured
:[Ghostbusters, careful not to cross the streams, capture the ghost of Peter Sagal]

:Wait Wait Don't Dissect Me
:Snoozing Sagal nearly snuffed in autopsy snafu
:[Peter Sagal running away from from a very surprised pathologist]
:Peter Sagal: "I ain't dead!"

:Wait Wait Don't Objectify Me
:Peter Sagal is more than just a piece of meat

:Wait Wait Don't Beatify Me
:[Peter Sagal shakes his fist at a picture of the pope]
:Peter Sagal Rebukes Pope

:Wait Wait Don't Me
:Peter Sagal Accidentally
:[Peter Sagal in a blank vacant]

:Wait Wait Don't Speak Its Name
:[eyes... Eyes... AAAHHH]
:Peter Sagal wakes Eldritch terror
:Peter Sagal:"AAAAAAAA"

:Wait Wait Even For NPR This Is A Bit Much
:This American Life to document the road to recovery for those who suffer the trauma of losing on Wait Wait

{{comic discussion}}