User:452

Status

~~Edit: "ERR_CONNECTION_REFUSED". :(~~

Apparently it was happening for everyone, back to normal. Resuming at 1 request per 30 seconds just in case.

Feed

http://c0.xkcd.com/xb/feed

feed: Array {

id: "a88f9898-8ae9-5b33-93e6-a5993daa922c" //used as http://xkcd.com/1506/#post/a88f9898-8ae9-5b33-93e6-a5993daa922c

img: "022f762b-9483-519c-8e6e-bd7a0ed5e2ba" //used as http://c0.xkcd.com/xb/image/022f762b-9483-519c-8e6e-bd7a0ed5e2ba

kind: "post"

poster: "Frances51"

profpic: "user-14.png" //used as http://imgs.xkcd.com/xkcloud/user-14.png

text: "Never will follow the instructions on google maps again."

}

prompt {

reason: "RDBMS completely forgot how inner joins work"

id: "21bd52d8-a3a4-590f-8888-db854fb52ce3" //used as http://xkcd.com/1506/#post/21bd52d8-a3a4-590f-8888-db854fb52ce3

poster: "Bool Hand Luke"

profpic: "user-4.png" //used as http://imgs.xkcd.com/xkcloud/user-4.png

img_id: "21bd52d8-a3a4-590f-8888-db854fb52ce3" //used as http://c0.xkcd.com/xb/image/21bd52d8-a3a4-590f-8888-db854fb52ce3

captions: Array (of strings)

text:"just two more trips over the horizon"

album: Array (of img_id strings)

}

Prompt varies between:

img_id and captions array
text and album array

Script

xkcd = {
	prompt_reasons  :[],
	prompt_posters  :[],
	prompt_text     :[],
	prompt_captions :[],
	feed_posters    :[],
	feed_text       :[]
}

function check(field, value) {
	if (xkcd[field].indexOf(value) == -1) {
		xkcd[field].push(value);
		console.log(field+" "+xkcd[field].length+": "+value);
	}
}
function next() {
	$.getJSON('http://c0.xkcd.com/xb/feed').done(function (data) {
		check("prompt_reasons", data.prompt.reason);
		check("prompt_posters", data.prompt.poster);
		if (typeof data.prompt.text != "undefined") check("prompt_text", data.prompt.text);
		if (typeof data.prompt.captions != "undefined")
			for(i in data.prompt.captions)
				check("prompt_captions", data.prompt.captions[i]);
		for(i in data.feed) {
			check("feed_posters", data.feed[i].poster);
			check("feed_text", data.feed[i].text);			
		}

	});
}
next();
setInterval('next()', 60000);

(Go to xkcd, and paste it in the browser console.) I've determined 10 seconds to be the time you keep getting the same data, so there's no reason to poll the server more frequently than that.

However, since the server is now blocking my requests after 20 minutes of doing that, perhaps 10 seconds is too frequent, so I've updated the example to only make 1 request per minute.

You can check on the xkcd variable at any time.

The surveys do not change as often as the other data.

~~I'm only interested getting in the reasons, feel free to adapt this script to get whatever else.~~

Script updated to get all text fields. Feel free to adapt it to get the image URLs.

Results

current unprocessed totals:

feed_posters: Array[205]
feed_text: Array[1630]
prompt_captions: Array[1675]
prompt_posters: Array[203]
prompt_reasons: Array[107]
prompt_text: Array[731]

The script is finding fewer and fewer new items, but it is still running after 30 hours since last restart.

prompt_reasons

The old one my script has not found yet which is on the transcript page is "not a hair question".

+++ OUT OF CHEESE ERROR. REDO FROM START +++
<%= reason %>
aol window in front of netscape window
a user's middle name was </html>
Baby ur much 2 fast
bookmarks migrated to Venezuela
butter didn't suit the works
butter overflow
butter to text interface not found
butter underrun
cannot save, there's something gross on the S key
CAPTCHA response indicated parahuman intelligence
cat-like typing detected
confirmation BIOS
could not evade skifree yeti
could not initialize sound blaster 16
CRM-114 unit malfunctioning
cumulonimbus #19 too rabbitlike
database configuration violates the Prime Directive
data too big
Dave's not registered, man
Desystematized chronodynamic balancing detected in VX Module core.
dictionary too stiff to read
electrons too big, stuck in wafer
ERR:INVALID DIM
error
error: error code [error] while decoding error code
error: operation completed successfully
error reading drive B. Abort, Retry, Fail?
ethics in journalism
eyelash! eyelash!
files fell out
files overwritten with more interesting content
firewall caught fire
floating point unit no longer afloat
food problematic
friday squid blogging
general uncertainty
GSM filter change required
guru meditation #00000025.65045338 press left mouse button to continue
hard drive oil depleted
helvetica scenario
HTTP 403 and 3/4ths
HTTP 418
http is down
hung up prematurely
I got pretty distracted trying to figure out how big space is
i hurt myself today / to see if i still feel
illegal carrot detected in mail queue
insufficient smoke for current mirror array
lights are out, hard drive is taking a nap
lp0 on fire
Main Bus B Undervolt
mean connection time exceeded
microwave running
minimum recursion depth not reached
nanobots in the water
oh jeez there's a lot of you can you all just hang on for a second please oh frig this is so bad
our buffer runneth over
out of electrons
out of monads
overcurrent undervolt caused by vacuum cleaner on same circuit
PC LOAD LETTER
Please Insert Riven CD 4
PRESS PLAY ON TAPE
previously-recovered files overwritten by newly-recovered ones
qubit indeterminate
RDBMS completely forgot how inner joins work
screws are stripped
server aperture too narrow for capital letters
server farm lost starbucks wifi signal
server fell in ocean
server had too much to drink
server power cable stolen by raccoon for nest
server room haunted
sitemap was held upside down
Something went wrong: Something went wrong (Something went wrong)
soonerist sperver fid dot nile
spin cycle still active
spin number must be of the form n/2
spontaneous splinal dereticulation
SQL ejection
subtle threading bug in turing-complete version numbering system
sysadmin trapped in well
tape on write-protect hole fell off
temporal paradox
the butter you have dialed is invalid or no longer in service
the little plastic tab on the box the data's in broke off
the server is temporarily permanent. Please try another also.
the system / is down
This copy of Ubuntu is not genuine and you have not yet resolved this issue.
This page contains content from the Open Source Initiative, who have blocked it on copyright grounds.
too many hands on the keyboard
transfer interrupted by incoming fax
TRIED TO READ 9TH SIDE OF 8 TRACK
turns out server was on circuit with lightswitch by door
Unable to cast variable of type Int32 to Magic Missile
undefined is not a function, which really makes you think
unexpected timezone drift desynchronization
unimplemented trap
User accepted terms but not conditions
User is not a typewriter.
user put spaces/vowels in filename
UTF-31 decode error
virtual memory got too real
wrong files
YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS

feed_posters

Usernames used in the feed. All users in the feed are also in the prompt

@meganamram
Addison1
Addison8
Agric Silverfinger
Aidan2
Aiden1
Aiden5
Aidenn Aberforth Milne
Alice1956
Amanda08
Anonymous
Apple Martin
Arthur17
Arthur19
Ashley8
Ashley92
Ashley2009
Austin72
Ayden1952
Bailey08
Bailey2001
Barbara1974
Benjamin1970
Benjamin Kenobi Sr
Bool Hand Luke
Brandi9
Brittany1
Caden14
Caden2010
Candice10
Carol04
Chad80
Charles18
Chelsea2006
Cheyenne15
Cheyenne1988
Christina Applecare
CMOS Def
Curic Copperfinger
Cynthia99
Cynthia1995
Dakota09
Dakota94
David St. Hubbins
Debbie3
Debbie26
Debbie62
Deborah3
Delta Elroy Backslash
Destiny89
Destiny1983
Dillon2008
Donald19
Donna2
Dorothy7
DragonBall Cooper
Dunston Chexin
Dustin46
Earl Sinclair
Egbert Bentley White
Eliezer Yudkowsky
Elon Musk
Emily15
Eowyn L'Oreal James
Euphegenia Doubtfire
Facebook Scott Fitzgerald
Flash Groupon
Frances29
Frances51
Frances99
Gary8
Gary86
Gary1951
George Debian Bush
George Reagan Renesmee Martin
Green Mario
Greg2004
Hatsy Collins
Henry05
Henry4
Horsepower Lovecraft
J. Alfred Leftshark
Jack3
Jack39
Jacob10
Jada5
Jaden21
Jaden Riley Rufio Tolkien
Jaina Khloe Rowling
Jalen81
James URL Jones
Jason15
Jayden79
Jennifer1
Jeph Jacques
Jerry18
Joe Biden
John2
John Wilkes Knuth
Jonathan27
Joshua80
Joshua84
Justin28
Justin87
Kaden61
Kaitlin1976
Karen3
Kathleen78
Keira10
Keira48
Keira2002
Kelsey1970
Kelsey1996
Kenneth94
Kenneth96
Khloe2
Khloe14
Kilroy
Kim5
Kristy2007
Larry1994
Larry Ronald Hubbard
Lauren Ibsen Dolores Amit
Linda08
Lindsay2011
Lisa1995
Livemau5
Lord Gaga
Lord Mondegreen
Louis Reasoner
Madison19
Madison80
Malik2
Margaret5
Margaret11
Marie3
Marie10
Marie12
Marissa Mayer
Mark92
Mark2006
Mark2007
Mark Zuckerberg
Martin Van Halen
Matthew2006
Mavis Bitcoin
Michaela2006
Michelle11
Minecraft Holmes
Misty3
Myspace Tom
Norton Ghost Dad
Notorious L.H.C.
Padme Dorothy James
Pam06
Patricia03
Paul50
Paul1957
Player One
Player Two
Professor Monoculatus McToff
Raymond6
Ronald22
Ruth3
S. G. Dukat
Samuel19
Samuel49
Sarah55
Sarah1976
Sarah2005
Sharon91
Sharon99
Shaun6
Shaun46
Shaun1960
Sheena2005
Sherri97
Sidd Finch
Sierra3
Sierra7
Sierra10
Stacy07
Stacy14
Steven02
Steven50
Steven2002
Susan11
Susan25
Taylor1990
Taylor1998
Thomas2
Tim21
Tim87
Tina Belcher
Todd33
Tonya22
Tonya38
Tracy1977
Tricia1
Tricia14
Trinity1989
Virginia1961
Virginia2006
Wil
Wric Tungstenfinger

prompt_posters

Usernames used in the prompts.

All of these usernames are also used in the feed

@meganamram
Addison1
Addison8
Agric Silverfinger
Aidan2
Aiden1
Aiden5
Aidenn Aberforth Milne
Alice1956
Amanda08
Anonymous
Apple Martin
Arthur17
Arthur19
Ashley8
Ashley92
Ashley2009
Austin72
Ayden1952
Bailey08
Bailey2001
Barbara1974
Benjamin1970
Benjamin Kenobi Sr
Bool Hand Luke
Brandi9
Brittany1
Caden14
Caden2010
Candice10
Carol04
Chad80
Charles18
Chelsea2006
Cheyenne15
Cheyenne1988
Christina Applecare
CMOS Def
Curic Copperfinger
Cynthia99
Cynthia1995
Dakota09
Dakota94
David St. Hubbins
Debbie3
Debbie26
Debbie62
Deborah3
Delta Elroy Backslash
Destiny89
Destiny1983
Dillon2008
Donald19
Donna2
Dorothy7
DragonBall Cooper
Dunston Chexin
Dustin46
Earl Sinclair
Egbert Bentley White
Eliezer Yudkowsky
Elon Musk
Emily15
Eowyn L'Oreal James
Euphegenia Doubtfire
Facebook Scott Fitzgerald
Flash Groupon
Frances29
Frances51
Frances99
Gary8
Gary86
Gary1951
George Debian Bush
George Reagan Renesmee Martin
Green Mario
Greg2004
Hatsy Collins
Henry05
Henry4
Horsepower Lovecraft
J. Alfred Leftshark
Jack3
Jack39
Jacob10
Jada5
Jaden21
Jaden Riley Rufio Tolkien
Jaina Khloe Rowling
Jalen81
James URL Jones
Jason15
Jayden79
Jennifer1
Jeph Jacques
Jerry18
Joe Biden
John2
John Wilkes Knuth
Jonathan27
Joshua80
Joshua84
Justin28
Justin87
Kaden61
Kaitlin1976
Karen3
Kathleen78
Keira10
Keira48
Keira2002
Kelsey1970
Kelsey1996
Kenneth94
Kenneth96
Khloe2
Khloe14
Kilroy
Kim5
Kristy2007
Larry1994
Larry Ronald Hubbard
Lauren Ibsen Dolores Amit
Linda08
Lindsay2011
Lisa1995
Livemau5
Lord Gaga
Lord Mondegreen
Louis Reasoner
Madison19
Madison80
Malik2
Margaret5
Margaret11
Marie3
Marie10
Marie12
Marissa Mayer
Mark92
Mark2006
Mark2007
Mark Zuckerberg
Martin Van Halen
Matthew2006
Mavis Bitcoin
Michaela2006
Michelle11
Minecraft Holmes
Misty3
Myspace Tom
Norton Ghost Dad
Notorious L.H.C.
Padme Dorothy James
Pam06
Patricia03
Paul50
Paul1957
Player One
Player Two
Professor Monoculatus McToff
Raymond6
Ronald22
Ruth3
S. G. Dukat
Samuel19
Samuel49
Sarah55
Sarah1976
Sarah2005
Sharon91
Sharon99
Shaun6
Shaun46
Shaun1960
Sheena2005
Sherri97
Sidd Finch
Sierra3
Sierra7
Sierra10
Stacy07
Stacy14
Steven02
Steven50
Steven2002
Susan11
Susan25
Taylor1990
Taylor1998
Thomas2
Tim21
Tim87
Tina Belcher
Todd33
Tonya22
Tonya38
Tracy1977
Tricia1
Tricia14
Trinity1989
Virginia1961
Virginia2006
Wil
Wric Tungstenfinger

feed_text

Captions used in the feed. Containers user submissions. (1435 of these are also used in the feed. 72 have not been found in the prompt)

"Carpe diem!" my grandfather said to me. This is a picture of him when he was younger.
"Space duckin'" By led blimp
"sun" glasses.. lolz. heh.
"Use the force, Harry" - Gandalf
#ALLLLLLBYMYSELF
#DANGERZONE
#delfie
#duckface
#fallingfromorbit
#hoax
#Hopeicanfly
#lifehacks
#Long_Exposure
#LOVEATFIRSTSIGHT#JUSTMARRIED
#me #throwbackthursday
#Nailpolish
#nofilter
#saturday #memories #beautiful
#selfie #nomakeup #nofilter
#SELFIE #WIN #LIKEABOSS #HASHTAG #YOLO #REPRODUCTION #THATSTHEWAYITISDONE #CTF #COOL #KEEPITREAL #BEQUICKORBEDEAD #SWAGGGG #RACE #ENGLISHDYCTIONARY
#Toobigtofall
#toothproblems
#vampiremirrorselfie
1 like = 1 little girl feeded to this cancer dying walrus :'(
11 Mario facts that will blow-a your mind
11 REASON TO SOLVE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS WITH MID AIR SKaTEBOARD STUNTS
99% of people are too scared to share this post! share if you are one of the 1%
100 meters in 4 and a half seconds
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Aaaaaargh
About time someone brought me that flattened basketball
ack
a graph showing the amount of time i spend outside
Alan?
All flesh is grass
Allons-Y!
All that fiber finally kicked in, now i conquer #Ukraine#putin#buddies
amazons newest delivery method
ants, zomg, ants, everywhere
Anyone know what's wrong with my thumb?
Apparently, it's called "BEAR Fishing"
Apparently it's a thing now...
are you sure this is a commandline?
Aside from the Fact I Was Buried Alive, The day has been surprisingly good.
australia is not NZ!
awesome sunrise this morning #lenscap #nofilter #hashtag
Ayyyy LMAO!
back on tinder!
Bacteriophage is worth 6 points
BALDUR's GATE YOU have all been poisoned and have 14 days to give me 2000 gold HA HA HA
Bangarang Motherfuckers
Bazookateer crossing
been stuck here for a while, any ideas?
Best. Funeral. Ever.
best day evar!!!!
Best Halloween costume yet!
best republican caucus ever!
better go inside, I need to polish my shoes
big ben is going down.
Big bowl of star-flakes
Black as the crows that peck out my eyes
bowTieght!
Bunny eating lettuce. tots adorbs! ^_^
Cakephants are my new friends
Can anybody help me identify this animal?
Cant explain that
Car tiddlywinks proves success
Check out my bowling Ball trophy!
Check out my new cat! Sooooo cute!
Check out my new sonic oc!
Check out my new turntable! #audiophile #lookatme #vinyl
check out my usb sword!
Click this text and you will find the love of your life within the next 20 minutes! If you don't, your mother will die a horrible death!!!
Click to show secret text
Copernicus: The early years
Crocodile Pink Eye
Dad, Mom, meet my boyfriend
Daisy, Daisy, Tell me your Answer True.
Damn, she said no capes. I should have listened.
Damn, two o'clock already?
damn. that squirrel's got a ball
damned ninjas
Dang! Inflated tires with Helium again!
day 3: the turnip still refuses to break up on re-entry
Did nyancat open a cycle repair shop?
Dinosaur extinction: The final Phase
discovered a new shortcut for making toast
does my ass look big in this?
Doesn't like being referred to as garfield
Dominos delivers!
Do my feet look fat?
Don't have a cow, man
Done my nails, don't they look pretty?
Do you care to #engage with this #content
Do you feline lucky, punk?
drive like an ass, be slapped like an ass!
Duck Duck Go's secret algorithm
Dude, where's my car?
Early Heavy Metal Story Boards Discovered
emergency butter delivery
engage!
Every day my damn cat makes this face
Everything maKes perfect sense now.
everything makes sense now
Exact composition of this... thing... is yet to be determined.
Fancy
Fear the day we Mole People breach the surface of the Earth like Mewling Babes, FOR THAT WILL BE YOUR LAST! #Ihatethesun #goditsbright #isthisworthit?
Finally found a way to disable the flash on my camera
First day of school.
First found evidence for Einstein–Rosen bridges.
First post, be friendly
First time posting, please be nice
Fluffy's awfully well behaved today
flying car - it is now officially the future
Foreign clouds take british clouds' jobs
forgot to turn the oven off!
For sale: planet, barely used. slight pest problem
found this in my fridge. Think it's still good?
Found this in my garden, wtf?
found this on google maps earlier.
fuck fuck shit shit, what did i do last night?
Fucking CAKE
get your ass to mars
goddamnit, that's the fourth time this week!
google bots have uncovered some missing bits
Got a hip mustache! What do y'all think?
Got your nose!
GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY ITS ALL GONE TO SHIT
im sure there is a dad joke in this somewhere
All things considered, it turned out nice again
Minecraft has fingerprints Now!
My new cat is awesome
may 4th, 2015 nasa finally launches the long delayed Starbucks module for the iss. The first barista is scheduled for a three month stint
I hate trying to win bowls of cereal in 'skill tester' machines
RARE BLACK BUNNY WHOSE ONLY NUTRIENT IS COMPLETELY BLACK SALAD
capes are in fashion
It's a Finger trap
#BROKEN
lol, no i didn't jump
Mentos and lava
Birds are less cute the closer they are.
YES
I blame supernasa
He was never seen again
and suddenly, popcorn
I never understood that part of the bibile
My baby is learning how to write!
I have tasted many fish
#nomakeup #justnatural
So, it has come to this...
Who stepped on my pop tart?
This needs a motivational text
Perspective issues
#flavorbomb
Bay-bae lolz
my neighbors don't understand the concept of privacy
Wow, I didn't expect that spell to work. #Sorrydude
sarlac ball-pit!!!
Said the duchess to the vicar.
take two, they are small
Strange ingredients for a grilled cheese sandwich, but the recipe did say 'epic'...
#illuminati
Unfriendly comet eats latest probe
Dey see us Rollin'. Dey Hatin'.
The choice is simple.
We didn't start the fire
i don't remember this scene form star wars
about to die lol
Banana invasion in progress
The moon landing was a lie
Close the pod bay door, Hal.
Watch out for the squirrely wrath!
Like my new nails?
I can take photos with my teeth!
Real Eyes Realize real lies.
...Freudian sense tingling...
dentists are going crazy about this weird Teeth whitening trick discovered by British mum. as seen on CNN.
Barraco Barner is our nasion's prezident.
Oh God! It's happening again!
There goes the neighborhood...
ANGRY CATS SMASH ANGRY BIRDS
and then there were nine
Foiled again by the bell curve
i wonder why you left me here.
This NSA intercept program is really getting out of hand.
I Love Playing Piano during Duck Mating season
In hindsight, it makes perfect sense
Wait, am I 30 years too late for Normandy?
I thought of it, and it happened
Man, that was the best party in my life
That was when things started to get a little weird.
I'm lost without your love, baby
Hide! It's Un Chien Andalou!
The unforgiving war on health
Self Portrait: Complete.
devil went down to walmart, bought himself a fork
I lost my wits
5 nights at freddies 4 #letsplay
There is no curse in elvish, entish, or the tongues of men for this treachery.
The normal distribution looks higher from the bottom...
birdcoin is looking to be a huge success
void main() { fork; }
My hero
These cravings will never stop
Burrito night
OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE
Man, it's windy
Steve is realxing
I find this picture reflects my soul.
Field Trip!
Magnified 10,000 times
Something tells me this is all part of a larger experiment
Someone will Make this About ObamaCare
My tastes are very... singular
Do I look like a penguin?
Grab that snake, dont let it go, its lunchtime ya'know
One of those mornings...
Does anyone know if this is supposed to happen
Desystematized chronodynamic balancing detected in VX Module core
last march of the ents
My screen test for Top Gear didn't go well...
Zoidgebra 101
stay away from my eggcorns
Look I genehacked a cowhorse!
THEY added extra salami!! I told them i HAte salami!! they hate me!!! fml!!!!!
Light traffic today.
Always get a full nights rest
Grandma's new boyfriend is a keeper!
it's only awkward if you think it's awkward #awkotaco
My house is my castle
#caturday
This apple got a face on it dog
is the eject button meant to do this?
Guillotine needs to be recalibrated
anyone seen some uruk-hai? Asking for a friend.
London
She's got interesting taste in men.
when you see it...
It's the little things
New tat turned out pretty good. Kinda weird having a guy stare at my ass for that long but whatev, it's worth it. DASHIE 4 LYFE.
"Is it symmetric this way?"
damn tree!
An unsuccessful bike design...
A soulful rendition of "old man river"
My boyfriend finally proposed!
Sometimes I just want to be in the moment.
did this exist as a microwave?
As the sun sets on us, we know we must escape.
It showed up on the photo, but not irl???
Look out!
I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going.
our ballistic artillery now come with advanced fire-control systems
Turning into a crow was less upsetting than being unable to tweet about it!
No, I've never performed brain surgery before, but how hard can it be?
Boy, I tell you what. I bet the roads on the moon ain't this smooth.
The solution to all life's problems
The recursive algorithm produces this unique Fractal Image
Optimus prime was having a bad day.
run little ghost, run!
Interior Crocodile alligator, I drive a Chevrolet movie theater
Step 1: Jump the shark.
My cat barfed this out
20 Facts that will infuriate hipsters
Who came first?
the day of the fingernail clipping has dawned
Fnnnaarrrrr!
so I went and summoned hitler but he got old
Is this an april fools joke? why did this show up at my door?
whatever you do, don't make eye contact with it
today's to do list
every breath you take, every move you make
Anyone craving some soup right about now?
Help! my mustache is eating my fammmmmrhmhghhh
The tyndall effect testing on the invisible man results (fig 5.)
FRom the creators of AIR BUD, presenting air chip, the Soccer squirrel. watch your Nuts! Summer 2016
really not how I thought I would die
sad cow is sad
Oh no, I'm not equipped to ride a digital wave of this size!
cest ne pas un pipe
SIDE GOER 4
night sledding deserves a quiet night
I don't know
Ce n'est pas un canard
Manchester United had made a terrible mistake with their new striker...
mYTH BUSTED!
i want to ride my bicykle (i found it in pripjat)
Do you think this will get me a job designing Pokemon?
As viewed on a Macintosh plus
share this so xkcd cannot sell our data to the reptilians
*Tips fedora*
Proof Global Warming Is hoax!!!!!
I REALLY, REALLY DIDN'T THINK THIS THROUGH.
I've found a new way to feed the poor
So that's where that hour went on Sunday night
I don't Even know What this ad is trying to promote.
Sonogram of our baby! Adorable, Don't you think!? Looks JUST like daddy!
if i don't return by 5pm give this photo to my kids when they grow up
Does this look like pink eye to you?
I just want to watch the world burn
The building blocks of life
I told you to keep the raptors secure
I'll miss the sparrow with my sparrow missile
This is a cat
Making grape Plasma, om nom nom!
Vaccines cause super autism now unless you're vaccinated against it
We can't do it, the moon is in the way
I just can't see the point anymore
PROOF THE MOON LANDING WAS A HOAX!!11!1!11!one
The last person to be surprised by a selfie
#CATSANDBIRDS
Beer Pong alone again! #YOLO
watching dune on shrooms
sometimes you just can't get rid of a bomb
#notallmen
with google iris, see the inside of your eyelids like never before
Park and ride
Now we're ready to attach the spiders. Remember, be gentle.
the charge of the light brigade
On the plus side, the exhaust system does work
Do I look fat in this photo?
As the sun set on the day, I thought about all of my failings, and didn't realize it mattered anymore. I was finally free of the day and could start all over again tomorrow without any judgement weighing on me.
love it!
Et boum! C'est le choc!
my class bet me this couldn't get 500 clicks!
whiskers expecting a new friend :)
The horrors of war
A Dozen roses, the Barnum Effect, and Thou
The rook is getting closer. Help me.
In hindsight, this probably wasn't the best way to teach addition
this guy keeps following me
filming the sky was boring. Turns out my foot is more boring...
CERN's soLUtion to a cut in funding.
just two more trips over the horizon
Hey, it's windows 7 again!
I think there's something here
Does anyone know why it is doing this?
We claim this iceberg for the Motherland
What if jellyfish could combine, like voltron?
In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king
This is twitter, right? #confused
#nomakeup #natural
This is so awsome! Picture of the year! So glad that I got that new camera!!!!!
Last time i buy a budget hairdryer
The French space program
cthulu caught me slipping
I'm not saying it was aliens but it was aliens
Day 19 of my face wash avoidance program
introducing the yolo distribution
Anyone here have any advice on how to get it to stop singing?
apple's new offering: iscream
I'll catch it one day
#BEWARE KILLER TREES WITH KILLER BEES INSIDE
Coco Puffs: Now with your complete daily dose of gamma radiation
Zeus takes his revenge
oops, oops, oops, okay this is happening
Can somebody call my cell phone? It's not lost, I'm just lonely.
#satellite #navigation
I. AM. BELLSPROUT.
Houston, we are the problem
Oh here we go
>< ))*>
Fission, fusion, what's the difference?
haha oh my cat
is good idea yes
Your free pony is on the way. Sorry for any inconvenience.
Spaaaaaaaace!
First, thoroughly lubricate the conspiracy theory
I warned him about the Star Wars Holiday Special.
monkey movember
Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough...
#blessed
oh I feel a yearning so bad
There's a 66% chance that the other door won't be broken.
"...The Aristocrats."
my taco face
Whale Selfie!
Tower of Hanoi puzzles have gotten really weird.
Being john "Bowler Hat" Malkovich
They scared the vampire by drawing a face on his mirror
i walk a lonely road, the only road that i have ever known...
Man with face of clock discovered in Beatty, Nevada; Scientists befuddled
no wonder the cat always sits here
Jet fuel can't melt steel beams
if you gaze long enough into the oscilloscope, the oscilloscope gazes back at you, longingly.
worst horse ever :(
prototype soccer ball
The Arecibo Observatory looked bigger in the movie #disappoint #bummer #bond
Taco bells give away resulted in unplanned consequences for downtown Houston.
Removed microwave door, new easier to watch the food cook
“Uh, hey, baby.” “Damn we’re smooth.” “We’re gonna score”
The last thing I heard was "I swear this will be fun"
Muahahahahahah
Breaking: World in terror as alien from "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" video lands on Earth, announces world tour
Extreme beer pong
Somebody sneezed in the Bathtub
bit nosy, aren't you?
Philae lander found!
they said be careful, we said yolo
Obama pardons Santa claus
Best Christmas gift EVER!
Not only was the moon landing staged, but it was done with puppets.
There's an rfid tag in every slice of pepperoni.
One year ago I looked like this
no stars in the sky tonight. Sigh #lonely
Malcovic, Malcovic, Malcovic, Malcovic!
Scientists take photo of Dark energy for the first time, you will not believe how it looks!
John really wanted to travel north, however that side of the road was missing
Meritocracy is a pipe dream
The moon looks weird today
#hashtag
I looked, and behold, an ashen horse; and he who sat on it had the name Death; and Hades was following with him.
Max gentleman
Ok, playing soccer in a snowstorm MIGHT not be the best idea ever
just another cat video
this is literally the hardest decision I've ever had to make.
I'll show you a forbidden electronic transition!
And thus, the polar carrot displaced the earth.
I Swear this dress was yellow and blue
if there is no water on mars, at least there is data
Fire can sometimes be hot?
SOYUZ SOLAR ARRAY decimating couch
MY HOBBY: Life size Sock Puppets
van gogh's secret masterpiece uncovered in french family's basement
3 year olds first lego experience
Maybe they should have put the gun control check point outside the building...
More like, Peek-a-Pooh!
love it!"...The Aristocrats."
picture proof that alien invasion is real! #thanksobama
NICE MULTIPANTS
Hey, what did you mortals do with my chariot?
brokkolis and sweet potato, nice
where to buy spanish ham ?
drivers feel stupid for not knowing this one simple trick
parallel universe, here i come! #sweet!
bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip
Jugghead got nothing on me :p
the way of the future
I was late
i hate it when this happens
Pretty sure jimmers will love this new door.
I'd call this experiment a success.
Unzipped sock
Do Notte Buye Betamacks.
We pointed the Hubble into another supposedly empty patch of sky.
kang, do i look good in this?
Universe man, Universe man...
Apparently the NSA have been keeping secrets from us
New haircut!
I just bought this
Time to reap the whirlwind!
Sure, they taught a robot to sing, but can they teach it to love?
come on, put on the slippers.
My new tattoo
#DrinkSaltwater
I AM BECOME DERP destroyer of brains
Mistakes were made.
"ARIANA GRANDE" is spanish for "GIANT SPIDER"
school's out!
On a scale of one to ten, I fucked up.
An ant figured out how to make free electricity with this one weird trick! Scientists hate him!
you cannot lift a mountain, but if the mountain sustens itself just on top OF you, do you lift it ? #think
super high intensity training at NORAD
The view outside of my airplane window.
This isn't where i parked my zeppelin!
The vlog was better than the movie
So, how many IT guys does it take to change a light bulb?
Death star model 0.0.73
That awkward moment when you realise that the dragon that you've been gossiping about is standing right behind you.
#awefullyNicetractsofland
Life comes from the Ocean. We just Give them the opportunity to go back
Life is hard three standard deviations to the left.
The goats! They mutated! They are now airborne!
i'm now 75% more efficient
Guys did you know we can finally make maglev hammocks thanks to eletropermanent magnets
We live in a golden age!
To infinity and Birdyond!
pretty sure the void is staring back #whenyoustarelongenough #lostsanity
I'm not aging gracefully, am I?
I was cleaning jello off the floor for *AGES*
Is this too cheesy?
Ted Cruz 20-Infinity
You must be new here.
go home chitty chitty bang bang you are drunk
Nope nope nope nope nope
Yeah I just like to make my martinis properly, ok?
those weren't Altoids.
doors from ikea: the pinnacle of excellency
Still a better love story than "Last Tango in Paris."
You'd think it was a tuesday, but it was not.
That's gonna hurt on the way out
Use the force responsibly.
Come on party people, put your hands together
Monday mornings
this was my inspiration
sentient IPOD deleted all my music. again.
Turns out my explosive frisbees are duds
sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows...
New amazon product
Our son has no arms but has a duck's beak.
Definitely not ordering from Walt Orfman's Pizza Restaurant again.
I think I can... I think I can
I am a beautiful person.
Journey warned you what would happen if you stopped believing.
Cat in a hat or fox in a box?
in the future, we will evolve into limbless creatures who subsist on judging.
diy abortion
The real reason for hillary's sudden data loss
George was a good little monkey, and always very curious.
in line at the dmv
truly, i am euphoric
so, scientology...
Great, now I forgot where I left the car.
First screenshot of portal 3 !!
ACME anvil delivery service...Faster than Amazon!
Long, long ago in a forest far, far away...
just found this in my garden. Should i be worried?
TOTAL ECLIPSE OF MY RETINA.
which end is the head of a chocolate cornet?
How many can there be?
My God! It's full of stars. No, wait. Swords, it's full of swords!
I found this in my navel, should I be worried?
This makes my dog twitch when it sleeps
Why does a tree cross the road? To destroy mankind, obviously.
WHO'S THAT POKEMON?
Black begins and wins.
99 bottles of beer on the wall
The ents met the triffids
inner city air conditioning
New false color imagery from mars curiousity
me and all my friends
#notamodel #nofilter
My cats used to lie all over the floor and block hallways, but thanks to the furniture store, my problems are solved!
Listen, I wouldn't worry about that. . .
My vacation to the Area 51 Testing site!
product testing has confirmed our suspicions...
i don't think we're playing zelda anymore...
GPS Signal lost.. damn it!
using hollowed-out carrots to smuggle drugs across the border.
That was the last time Spencer would drop a bowl of salad. "My work on antigravity begins now!" he proclaimed.
So turns out 'recycling' is not Riding a bike twice.
walked in on my roommate being terrifying
Now turn it upside-down
Note: HUGE SUCCess
#livefeed #colonoscopy
T-Rex in a snowfield #cretaceous #nofilter #cold
Black box recorder
New selfy stick you can hold with your foot
[USER BANNED FOR THIS TEXT]
Lunar hatchet throwing contest champion
caught the sunset tonight at midday
I lost my wrist
The Mushroom war claimed most of us. MOST....
I can has cheezburger?
Mars Instant Messenger Prototype
Welcome to carrot facts. Did you know Carrots can improve your vision?
wake up sheeple!
oompa loompa diggeti doo
Who the fck deleted development branch?!?!
trying out apple's new gadget. expensive but it's worth it.
horses can't use chalk. stupid horse.
everyday i'm shoveling
This is exactly what you think it is
What, Me worry?
oh no you didn't
No, really; I'm an 8-legged dog. Come Closer.
how do i turn this off?
SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THIS POWER OUTLET CALL AN ELEXORCISTRICIAN
OH MY GOD A HORSE
Hams apparently don't make good wheel replacements
still, i think it was a good idea
Evenutally, they'll write moby dick.
Soon. Soon...
This is why we can't have good things
"Innocent X" by Diego Velazquez, c. 1650, oil on canvas
Transmogrifier 2.01.5 prototype
I 'M out of the acorn
Dude, I can totally catch this!
TRY{throw Baby;}Catch baby{Throwable cause = baby.getCause(); Throw cause;}
tail recursion spotted in the wild!!
We told iran that atomic energy is unsafe
such bike. so sustainable! very carbon-negative.
One of the less popular Transformers.
holy crap, seems the generate dog function works for humans too!
That is one dapper bird.
Eat my shorts
That is, in fact, a squirrel.
Met Andrew Hussie At Dashcon
stipple slash of saturn
it was never this complicated when I was a kid
My nose will grow now.
Their vengeance was swift, but surprisingly subtle...
damnit, another drunken tree in the road
Warning, cadbury eggs should be consumed in moderation, even if supplied for free by air
Yeah... never gonna happen
Oh no! Not Again.
I broke the etch & sketch
Real pirates put the hook on their feet! Yarr!
#this_is_sparta
Look guys! I'm Vincent Van Gogh!
Is it really today, already?
ha ha ha... no.
I'm ready!
I told him we were closed and all he said in reply was "You won't like me when I'm angry."
#DARE to #DREAM
What in the hell was I thinking ?
alas, poor yorick, I knew him well.
I found a three fingered kitten!
"Honey, I think the assembly instructions for this washing machine are a bit... What's the opposite of verbose?"
CORNFLAKES AGAIN!?!?!??!?!??!
An eight-stringed octopus?
#selfie #imatree #thuglife
Trees on a hill #nofilter
Would you like to play a game?
I think my houseplant is doing pretty good #greenthumb
No more sorrow!
Picking mushrooms
I've got a tombstone disposition and a graveyard mind.
WOMAN on ground, Abstract, digital, 2015~ $19E6
A window into my soul
Initiate evasive maneuver!
It was then that the ugly duckling realized that beauty was an arbitrarily-defined cultural construct, and that true beauty came from within.
watch me become the next favorite kardashian
#bedhead
WhEN THE INTERNET OF THINGS MADE MICROWAVES SENTIENT, THEY DISCOVERED THAT FROZEN BURRITOS WERE EVERY BIT AS DELICIOUS AS THEY'D ALWAYS HOPED.
Posting my garden to Etsy. #humbleswag
Pentagonal head? That's nuts!!! *cough* *ahem* I think you mean bolts.
I want to run, but my legs won't move :(
Don't get the lava wet! you'll ruin everything!
Help the police catch this violent criminal before he strikes again.
smiling is for optimists
No way, man! Bento box disappointment. Lone green pea.
i just want to do existential things with my friends
Just Got A new camera phone!
Here we see the last two simple machines; the inclined plane and the rocket board
Burnination? Huh?
Thus Ended Alexander the great's conquest
"My God, it's full of starS." "WeLL, DURR"
AGHHHHH
Turns out the tiles at home depot aren't the good kind
Rollerskating always was overrated
CeCi N'est Pas Une Pipe
The next generation of crypto currencies
EARTH HAS 4 CORNER SIMULTANEOUS 4-DAY TIME CUBE WITHIN SINGLE ROTATION. 4 CORNER DAYS PROVES 1 DAY 1 GOD IS TAUGHT EVIL.
i THINK WE'RE BEING WATCHED!
The basis for fast and furious 13.
John never thought a tongue fractal would hurt so much
onomatopoeia? I hardly know ia!
Hmm The Earth halves kinda look like buts.
Goldilocks party!
The Return to the escape from Skull Emerald Island IV: The Re-Escapening
Apparently the cat didn't want to go to the vet...
Existance is an illusion
Don't be thrown by the pareidolia, this is actually an Instagram of bacon & eggs
Any hatchlings in here?
The side of my car. #roadrage
I mean, it's no mona lisa, but I think it's at least, like, a last supper
the only people for me are the mad ones
The top half of his face looked exactly like this, officer
finally found a way to disable the flesh on my camera
You did what in my tuba?
Another victim of 'got your nose!'
Has anyone really been as far even as decided to use even go what to do look more like?
Made in god's own image, yessiree!
I knew there would be side effects
step one: cut a hole in the box
Da_FEELS###!
We've got a problem
check out my new pet
the world isn't flat, it's a cube!
LET'S PLAY A GAME OF FORCED PERSPECTIVE.
Astronauts tossed out of ISC called "Nuisance" by commuters
Mmm, Spider cake!
Maths are hard
If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself
AND THAT'S HOW i MET YOUR MOTHER.
Where do I plug this in?
no one ever suspected the shovel
This is worse than when the vending machine ate my change.
Do you have a lighter?
Penguins are people too #equality
BuzzFeed Quiz: Which bone are you?
Amazing optical illusion! Can you see the duck?
THis is a love/hate poem.
Sorry for the potato quality.
Look at that fart propulsion
THIS LOOKS SHOPPED. I CAN TELL FROM SOME OF THE PIXELS AND FROM SEEING QUITE A FEW SHOPS IN MY TIME.
What? It's always that color.
Boba fett? Boba Fett? Where!?
OMG! Kittens!
The metric system costs thousands of lives each year
I wish I could afford the monopolar model...
Happy Birthday, M C Escher
He had to learn the hard way: if i clean a window, it will definitely be clean
oK, LISTEN. nO ONE WILL CHECK HERE. aGENT 27 IS COMPROMISED. nEW pASSWORD IS "rECURSIVE"
He left me! :ccc
I suppose things could probably be worse somehow.
i say, the cheat, let us prey upon that poor sap, the home star runner!
Have fun stormin' da castle.
Now we play... the most dangerous game
This is a good idea
Are you feeling lucky, punk?
WHY WHY WHY #WHY
how do you get the screensaver off?
Oh bother not again
We have crafted the galaxy's finest pasta bowl
the game no please why do you haunt me the game i lost the game
my new boss
my cat is sick
A job so boring a bird could do it
We made some simplifying assumptions before designing the plate tectonics code.
This photo was taken from my basement
Me, before the topical ointment
photobombed by a bird trying to take a picture of a bird
My parents took away my phone privileges
you didn't have to come if you were just going to complain the whole time.
their love was doomed from the start...
Wake up sheeple!! the rich are stockpiling candles. This is our future!!!!
I hate waking up from a really good dream
they said we couldn't play god
Look 10 years younger with this one easy trick!
DX(X^LN(Y!)/xy*pi=screw you
The less you look at it, the funnier it gets.
wrangled my first ufo! YEEHAAH!!
Let's go left, they said. The other path looks boring, they said.
PIctures from my trip to Mount Binary
for you
Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go
Don't send bees, send lions! and send them to france!
is that a war walrus?
what to have for breakfast?
I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken.
Contains 8 essential types of spiders!
My feet are cold. Can anyone warm them up?
Notice anything different?
It's a timey-wimey time-lord
london bridge gets a songg, where is mine?
I broke cookie clicker...
the latest Werner Herzog is a masterpiece #thelamphasnofeelings #outofslatsoutofpier
look what i found underneath my pillow
That's not a chicken
Smile! You're on Candid Microscope
At this point the probe fires its engine for the 12th and last time before exiting the observable universe
toto i don't think we're in camelot anymore.
Formal on top, party on the bottom
Submarine-world promblems, amirite?
and to think this is where it all started
I got the job!
Never gonna give you up...
#twinsies
In my dreams I'm always strong
He thought 'chutes were for the insecure
9 out of 10 scientists couldn't solve this equation
AWESOME! This cloud was so much larger than my thumb!
Frank, the newest herald of galactus.
True Self-Control
paper can't substitute the smell of an old kindle
FACING east. 3.15pm. Can someone tell me where i am?
The best brick joke possible.
I got this in the mail today
Yes, I followed the instructions!
it's in a good part of town
father & daughter re-unite!
Well, now this is a thing.
Praise robot jesus! humans, convert and roll out!
Should I sue my hairdresser or not really
I forgot to get a plane
This explains everything
my wonderful dad!
This diagram of the solar system is not to scale
Spring has sprang
Had to settle for a beard
#paleo #rawlifestyle #tasty #nofilter
The soap bubble music experiment went rather well.
My collections still growing! Just let's hope it won't rain soon
I found this little guy in the woods near my house
Whoops I left the Lens Cap on for this one. :S
Saw this on the TV. I didn't turn it on. It was just there. The TV is unplugged and it's still there. Should I call a repairman?
1 like = 1 respect 1 share = 15 respect 500 respect = 1 cool
Man or mouse? No need to decide!
The glow cloud (all hail) stopped by today.
And so the hunt begins!
Who said an antique car wouldn't work on the moon?
this will make me a millionaire (patent pending)
Guys, I Found a Unicorn!
#Donthate #Truelove
FUCK NOT AGAIN
Sailor Moon Cosplay Queen
The Moon Will Eat What it will
This is why I'm not an EMT
THAT'S NUMBERWANG!
Freshly waxed floors + new socks
Oh, Canada...
☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭
SELDOM UTILIZED DIET TRICKS
GOOGLE GLASS IS WORKING GREAT
Prop Failure #Lol#Hustonwehaveaproblem
Cruise Kingdom
What has science done?!
Oh shit, not again.
PHOTOSYNTHESIS HELL YEAH
Oh No! Not again!
I was just mugged by an angry mob of hipsters!
nonononononononononononononononononononononononono
just learned where milk comes from! #vegan4ever
Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!
My new neighbor seems a bit odd
Worst pokemon ever
This is what I do on friday evenings now
The Little Borg Prince
i was told this came with a bowl of soup.
See a carrot deflate a pool ball
Have fun in the Alps lol
This Military Dictator Thought He knew Everything...And then He Learned these 3 tips for losing weight!
Day 12: it's going well I think
I'm not even mad. that's amazing
oh god!! the youtube views were not worth it!! they weren't woooorth iiiiit
just cos()
Is there really any point? FML
The electric dirk was a better dance move than a weapon
this is just a tribute #thed
The doctor says it is colon cancer :(
To get to the other tree and leaf!
New neighbor treats me like an idiot. "Does your species really exclude sustainability from economics?" smh
blob monster attacking our city lol brb avoiding certain slimy doom lol
No lie, this is delicious
Things Lost in couch cushions
Hope that wasn't a granny knot
it's pretty dark in this box
That sweater is so 2013
I can walk on my hands
just playing with my pet
Deal with it
peeling back the pages of history
Is that what I think it is? in my salad?
The newest Olympic sport
#Photobomb
TANSTAAFL... Mostly
clever girl.....
Please send help.
at least I don't have to spend more time with sandra bullock
Pizza TIME
Plotting the Extrapolation of a Quasi-Exponential Function On Non-Orthogonal Cartesionoid Axes
I am infinite. i am eternal.
Too many quixotes, not enough giants
Don't even say you understand my pain #problems #dontask
Wait, you can see that too
that's one nasty burn!
So long, and thanks for all the fish
Who Made all these Don quixote clones?
Weeeee!!!
This guy...
Jet memes cant fuel steel belts
my choice of flat-mate may have been a mistake.
I wouldn't eat that if I were you.
[Metal Gear sound effect]
I should really separate those
I just don't get recursion.
still better than last year in ottawa
new drupal logo
Well, Mr. Bond, we meat again
Are We Not Men? We Are Devo.
There's a third bump, growing fast
I has a sad
I'm going to be smashed to bits
Later levels in Luna Lander get really fucking harsh.
Target Found.
Robots in much better disguise
Is this a rhombus? No one seems to know.
the game begins...
aren't rabbits supposed to jump out??
good old troubleshootin'
Dividing by zero prematurely ended his research career.
Connect the dots to see the correct Nixon cabinet member
The Excresence of Indifference (mixed media, 2015)
tiny man with tiny hat found in upturned regular-sized hat
For my book report presentation, i'll be acting out "50 shades of gray"
Artistic recreation from new fossil find
ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ ก้้้้้้้้้้้
memories of me and my papa at the creek. life was so much simpler then...
Coordinates of the ants walking across my screen, as a function of time
Tycoon Simulator 2015
big data strikes back
#nomakeup #justgotup #wow
Bulls don't often sit like this!
Newest cheesy movie: When trees attack
only 90s kids will get this!
Another one bites the dust
Fulfilling western ideals!
I finally killed the weird recognizer that was following me
What could go wrong?
My new haircut!
Office gamification has got out of hand.
"I am So. Much. More."
I wonder what will this lead to...
take that atheists
Medieval theme on the internal company conference. My Logo proposal. Comments?
this plot is odd.
New headcanon:
Just some home decorating
DUCK CONFUSED ABOUT DRESS COLOR, FEELING DEPRESSED
I finished building our pool, but now i realise we can't afford the water to fill it.
Picasso's illegitimate child...
What do you see? I see a cat!
Roadrunner is the new transport minister
Don't inhale!
I, for one, welcome our new rocktopus overlords
actually, around here we itemize our taxes
I loled my head off!!!
havin fun in the wind tunnel. WHOOOSH!
April Fools!
My doctor said to take two of these and call him in the morning.
I used to be like... but then i was all...
i was gonna eat that
Car broke down on the side of the highway.
Screw it, here's a cat pic
I'd tap dat.
The strangest thing subway ever gave me
Dad is going to lose his head over this. FML.
there is none of this left in the men's room #help
Why potato why?
Why?
Annoyance of the week: people who take photos of their food
...And then we decided it was time to leave
This is the crankiest potato I've ever seen.
bURMA sHAVE!
Look man, it's never gonna happen
So I figured out that "inflammable" means the same thing as "flammable" today!
"I'm sorry, i can't do long distance right now"
MATE YOU HAVE FORGOT YOUR STICK
Do the Harlem Shake
nobody knows the trouble i've seen
First I glued him to the wall, then I took pictures for my grandma's scrapbook
Lack of cucumbers
Are you kidding me?
I don't know how to play...
Life on the moon.
Can't believe what I almost threw away!
finally got that squid stache
one electrocution can ruin your entire day
WTF!?
i do the same thing at frat parties
Dawn of the last day: 24 hours remain.
someone just gave me this. I don't know what it means...
i'll see you on the dark side of the moon
Does my eye look bloodshot?
Just one of those days
Los Angeles sure is beautiful this time of year
#comfortfood
what's a lens cap?
THe Tanzanian bargin was notoriously one sided and resulted in the bloodiest genocides in the history of man. #YOLO
I just joined the Kite Kite Kite!
Selfie in the morning
That's just not very funny
it's not what you think
Best map projection ever
Darn Pylon built in the cow field again
If i am in your dreams at night, in those dreams i want you to describe to me the sources of international law
PostPostModern art
THAT'S NO MOON
Triumph. Pure triumph.
OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?!
Oh no, i've got glue-cose stuck to my hand!
Let's have a blinking contest
the lotr movies had some subtle changes from the books
Why did it have to end this Way?
i think i need to get out more.
it was an odd place to find a stop sign
cthulu wants what cthulu wants
dOG SHAMING
I found it!!!!!!!
hgghjg
You are not a good person
Not as healthy as it looks
It's a cat ass trophy
The abyss stares longingly into my heart.
i pushed this. was that bad?
Hat in the cat strike back!
But then, everything changed when the fire nation attacked.
One of these things doesn't belong.
... It's about ethics in games journalism.
I never thought that the job of data mining would be so aerobic
This wasn't a problem back in the usenet days
they told me carrots were good for eye health
for a long time i was accustomed to going to Bed early.
is this just a fantasy?
I can't believe it's not cake batter
They see me rolling, they hating
When you get a perfect score on your test
Ramen is squishy and soft
Aww, honey, don't cry...
too much right beef
As you can see It's windy out here
this didn't last long.
My roommate Just got home and barged into my room
where do all the cheetos go
Mr. Potato-Head human hybrid discovered
I'm afraid I can't explain myself, sir.
Just combing my M.C. Escher
The weight of life in a starry landscape
THis is kinda philosophical if you think about it. If you don't think about it too much.
Thanks!
Homework's done, finally time to get wasted
Me llamo t-bone
Beyond Level 256...
Teach a fis how to to man... wait?
Can you see it? #illuminati #war #drobe #conspiracy
The dark helps me see in the carrots
hey is that an event horizon of a blaaaaaa!
don't worry, it's part of my plan!
Wait, what does ⨍(𝕎) represent again?
I'm making my own emojis now! do you like it?
Tycho and gabe stepped up their game
mmm...vegemite...
AN I wuz like, GRRRRL Yo beak is so flash!
such lambda
crawling and texting #badcombination
some men just want to watch the world burn.
what if it's a ghost pepper?
Look at me jumping!
there snow such thing as global warming
Does this look infected?
Let it go, let it go.... the cold never bothered me anyway.
real letters have curves #Serif
I hate this channel
furrowed mustache
<3 hanging out with saruman
my castles stand on pillars of sand
Christ, what an asshole.
The second mouse gets the cheese
Hmmmm, which one isthe Vegan option?
I like this picture
That was one hell of a party last night.
taken from earth orbit
how to make roommate stop pooping everywhere
Life is cruel and unyielding, and what must be must be
#justnasathings
What are you, a dictionary?
Just took a Fourier transform of my nightmares.
The ninetys called, and I had to answer.
Why did the cypress cross the road?
A boa constrictor that has swallowed a hat
It's not a good part of town
FML
Funky fresh beats #sudowoodo
WHAAAAAAaAT?!?!?!?
My gout's acting up again
Wow, did you see that??!!
8.5 hours later...
WENT ALL ZELDA ON THIS CRACKED WALL! #YOLO
PARKOUR IN ACTION
Awwwwwwwwww, poor meteor!
Guess that "sun" was really important after all
This is still what I had for breakfast
feeding my pet
It was the rational response
senpai noticed me! ^_^
IT WAS A METAPHOR! A METAPHOR DAMN IT!
I don't know if this is proof of anything other than old habits dying hard
Help! HELP! I need an adult
Jet fuel *can* melt steal beams.
27 things you won't believe are in your local playground
Captain obvious strikes again
Jesus Wept
I welcome our event-driven overlords
This is the story of a boy. who sneezed a hurricane and disintegrated the whole world.
Cory Doctrow finds Ron Paul's secret Lunar base
In an N-dimensional space, optimal strategy is to think *inside* the box.
Big Bird, An orwellian Short
Neil Degrasse Tyson is having a bit of an odd day.
Meet the new CEO of my Bank!
Pants Optional
Prom Night at tentacle monster HIgh
*Darth Vader Breathing*
at times like this i ask, "why me?"
🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢
Love is creepy
i can't form the words to describe such beauty
Please note that our professional disaster recovery team are working tirelessly to rebuild your data. We apologise for the delay. - xkcloud
SPAAAAAAAAcE
Picked up this little fellow from the pound!
Apparently i have retinoblastoma.
I thought getting my body cut in half would be the end of my golf career... but i proved the haters wrong.
wow signal deciphered: they want #53 with extra soy sauce.
I'm 95% percent certain this is battletoads
Lego: hours of preparation, 5 minutes of Godzilla re-enactment
Look at my dollar coin
share and enjoy
This is what happens when you don't listen to your parents
Birdwatching is an exhausting affair, especially when the birds fight back
I thought aircraft carriers were bigger....
waiting for the toilet for 2 hours? sucker yolo
my cat got into the *other* catnip
my new haircut only exists in another dimension
ESA probe enters black hole - first photos!
I can control the BEES! But I only make them turn right
My new oscilloscope has some missing parts
got Peanut allergies #yolo #swag
Waynes World, Waynes world!!!
They're watching us.
Down time
No regrets on this new roofing material
As I place the flowers, I thought, "She will never forgive me for marrying her daughter."
Mercator projection on a cube... Globes are boring.
a fortuneteller told me to get my head out of the clouds.
they dont need us anymore
Woops, miscounted. sorry.
Evolution of puzzles
we do these things not because they are easy, but because they are hard
Just a little more to the right
I thought it was a good idea at the time
Wait a minute. We put the helium in the pool, or the balloon?
Einstein, protesting the copenhagen interpretation, shaves his head.
Guess I'm stuck here #permadeath #lol
i'm just surprised it took this long.
Scorned again, Bob left the party without a date
NUTS!
How did the mars rover get here?
oh look, a penny
When everything looks like a hammer
Quite.
Proof: loch ness monster.
is it wrong how turned on i am by this?
Minimalist cat
Job interview today.
ACK-scuse me sir, Stop shaking hands and transmit some data.
Gentlemen, fire up your emacs buffers
My elephant is disgruntled with your food service
The evolution of fun
The signal came from this sector
Stop flexing in the mirror, you narcissist
Oops, I forgot the cowboy hat
I think I just came across a QUANTUM teleporter
This is how you get ants!
OMG Becky look at her butt
Tic Tac Toe, motherfucker
Starting to regret my OUYA purchase
I TELL YA, NOTHING BEATS A FRIED EGG ON TOAST!
Changing Guard at Buckingham Palace
go home elephant you are drunk
Always watching, never speaking. WHAT does he want?!
almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea
THEy said it was "futuristic" and "useful"
Amazing! Discovery! on mars!
New microwave over cures/causes cancer!
I can ride my bike with no handlebars.
The new Doctor Who is quite the quack.
Look what I just ordered on amazon.com!
Safety: it's more like 'Guidelines'
How does this work again?
racing stripes on hoodies are cool.
The lifts never worked properly in the Volcano Lair
It is never safe.
bob ross has only become more powerful in death
Today was my pets elephant's birthday; He liked the ribbons best.
Deep down I think everyone's about 10 percent gangster.
ever get the feeling you're being watched?
you know, for kids
Strolling down the street, saw this. #uglybeauty
First day at school
BANG! ZOOM! STRAIGHT TO THE MOON!
The dress is black and white!
look at me, i'm from England!
#HL3 #CONFIRMED #ILLUMINATI
I will wear this shirt until one of us dies.
Found: bra left abandoned on romantic beach.
Photographic evidence that cookies exist on other planets.
Travel the length of these massive bison
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Talking to my fans...
It's bigger after you put it together.
intertial reference frame, activate!
how can mirrors be real if your eyes aren't real?
If you've got a moustache...
Look at my new blue dress!
Neither the hero this city needs or deserves, still he was the only hero this city had.
This is how we celebrate easter usually
Leave this one adrift, Ishmael. Let the ocean take her
Selfie #Nofilter
My clothes need a wash...
where the streets have no untagged unconnected nodes
someone take this banana off my face
DOMINO'S PIZZA IS MADE OF TURTLES! IT'S MADE OF TURTLES!!!!!!
The taste stays with you forever
Edward James Olmos to reprise his role as captain picard
Am I a Pokemon?
What is your Pony Personality?
i love a good featureless white void
This photo mooves me
QWANTZ Fanfic
FENTON!!! FENTON!
The infamous Snow-muon.
Who put import superman in the python configuration script?
Saw this in a safari park, the rangers wouldn't help it
What have facebook been doing with my data? #Whatisgoingon
stork carrying a babby rabbit!
#giganticflower #headshot
Finally here!
The co-op and I have been trading our gently used teabags around. Discovering a lot of new flavors!
When pandas have nightmares
a spherical cow
Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair
I will take that one please
Eating my breakfast!
it all fits together, guys!
How did I get here?
Happy Birthday!
See it again in slo mo
Fortunately this is posted on Google+, so nobody will ever see it.
omg too much chiplote
PSA: If you don't see this, don't ask your embarrassing medical questions
this "one small step" will make you cry. you won't belive why. #moonselfie
#bornthisway
Dawn: The Final day
I think i lost my dorsal fin
This is just like my 5th birthday party.
I fought the law. They won
Man in the Moon slumming
Not gonna lie. No idea what this is.
#onering #fuckhobbits
I don't regret pressing the button
as sir nibbles of acorn surveyed the destruction, he realized that he had forgotten to account for drag
BANANANANANANANANANA
Exes, am I right?
Blood for the blood god! Skulls for the skull throne!
wwmd: what would mcgyver do?
Starbucks <3 <3 <3
This is what happiness looks like
"Cat-like Reflexes"
The illuminati embarrassed to admit that the "world" they control is only a h0 scale model
oh, is that godot? Finally...
This is symbolic.
Great ScotT!
look at my new dog!
throwing epic shade!
crenellate good times, c'Mon!
OH GOD HOW DO I COMPUTER?!?!?!!
I'm sorry, I'm gluten free
HAN SHOT THIRD #YOLO
Where are the three sea shells?
I'm never going on chatroulette again
OMG I cannot even
I still say it looks White and Gold!
Making a selfie.
i miss myspace. *sigh* #thegoodolddays
the hills have eyes
AUUUGH
Vegans gonna hate
I forgot to turn the tap off lol
nasa and the Post office collaborate on new postage stamp
My 7 picture is upside down
#Moses #riverbabies #passover y'all!!!
This man must not realize that it is the whole building moving up and down, not the elevator.
Goodnight moon
Even if you bind his beak, an eagle will drool on you out of spite
Why doesn't congress want these legalized?
#stublife
┬──┬◡ﾉ(° -°ﾉ)
i'm being ironic
All my selfies be like
we have the technology.
it makes sense if you think about it
*Sigh* not cat food for diner again
you know what they say about guys with big feet
I GOT MY EYEBROWS DID
I knew I nailed it!
i have a bad feeling about this.
#this_is_how_an_angel_dies
Ow.
I wonder if it will be friends with me
Okay, bradford pears grow *really* fast.
could anyone help me find my contacts?
photobombed again
i've made a huge mistake
'BOOM' goes the dynamite!
That'll teach them not to misspell my name at Starbucks
sTEP ONE CUT A HOLE IN THE BOX
Wait ... what? I don't even...
Heres a pic of a wild catus, who just saw a balloon
Pintsize what are you doing?!
welcome to the internet
"Bake him away, toys"
conspiracy theorists crestfallen after taking photo of platonic ideal rather than its specific manifestation
The Zebra was lying down
My four other heads and I are counting on your vote!
Hey guys, watch this
#GOD
How is this still a thing?
He's been there for three days
Blackout @ moscov metros station, i have no idea which way the peron is. #yolo
Found this mushroom, thought of you
Is this a horse man or a duck man? The answer may surprise you!
I mistook myself for a bird
HELP I'M just a pheasant
Don't you love it when a pet looks like it's owner
Belgium
Family vacation has taken a turn for the worse.
To the victor go the spoils.
Reblog to 500 people or your cat will die.
only 90 kids will remember this.
i'm really diggin' your shovel
Ikea art
Guess where I'm taking this photo from.
Weather's Crazy today
my lasik didn't go so well.
USB SUX
it's bicycles all the way down
They're all watching me
I got a new geigerteller
I sentence you to deliciousness!
play it cool
sorry dad
New Super Mario bros in real life!
it's fun to do bad things
#imnotracistbut
I am become Death, Destroyer of insects smaller than 4mm
The magic smoke escaped :(
This caught my eye
Vegetable-flavored meat, that's how they'll get us!
leaked photo of hellraiser reboot
✔ ONE MORE THING CHECKED OFF MY BUCKET LIST
We've given up trying to justify this.
Life outside the matrix
I lost my tooth
it's like rain on your wedding day!
Well, this is a puzzling development.
the strategic air control has been exploring alternative revenue streams.
searching for brain, found this instead
Best funeral ever!!!!! YOLO
Diet is working!
This explains it all
Legal Issues
You want to know how i got these scars?
#selfie #atwork #nofilter #potatoduty #yolo
A classic battle between the word and the sword, represented by the most noble creature
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU JOKE ABOUT HALF-LIFE 3.
is it midnight yet?
Molten steel can't fuel jet beams
I think the white balance on my new SLR is off
My cat is cuter than yours.
how do I take photos with this?
Do my feet smell?
I'm no longer welcome at the play centre.
((╬ಠิ﹏ಠิ))
MY MOUSE GOT A FACIAL TATTOO. WILL IT LIMIT HIS RESEARCH JOB PROSPECTS?
Now, It's not every Day you get to be glorious leader
I love star wars!
rodeo!!
Flat file viewing
nomnomnomnom nomnom om nom nom
DuckDuckGoes!
Only 90s kids will remember
in the future, EVERYTHING will be wireless
When in doubt, just blow on it!
who sent me a bobcat?
duckface is the new radians
Macklemore concert was awesome!
And the least of the five evils is....
File not found ... creating fake file...
yo anybody seen my dog, responds to "sauron"
I call zeno's paradox on this... thing.
Hoping this makes it past customs
We are not men. we are devo.
I think this is actually kind of a big step for a man.
i broke it
SOmething went wrong while shaving...
married a cat
peacekeeping mission is a total success
Everything truly IS awesome!
My halloween costume
DAMMIT JIM, I'M A DOCTOR NOT THE DOCTOR.
Hey! My cloaca is down here!
Turns out the stars were pentagrams all along
#sudowoodoproblems
Space from my window
cowabunga dude
Daylight spending time!
It seemed better in my head
4 8 15 16 23 42
do you reckon i can feed this to my pet spider?
Like a G6, baby, like a g6
What's this thing here in the bathroom?
OMG! r u 4 real?! this is like the best thing evaaaar! #yay #blessed #someonelovesme
Dryads. that is all.
This squirrel really knows how to cook
I'm, like, a minecraft genie!
Don't Blink. Blink and you're dead. don't turn your back. don't look away. and don't blink!
Asteroids hate him!
Never bring a blowgun to a knife fight.
well, this really puts things in perspective.
Gotta catch em all.
Looks like he wants a ride. Should we pull over?
Using your phone camera is a neat workaround when you have lost your glasses
Is that a new pokemon?
#Worstweekever
cowabunga, dudes!
#rememberthetitans
Hasbro's new product targets both the small girl and the adult male demographics.
this guy took a photo of his food every day for a year, you won't believe what happens next!
#cloudywithachanceofmeatballs
Does my hair look like it's thinning?
WHAT A MISUNDERSTANDING!
Nom nom nom
Pac-man's missing piece
This new LP is on fire, yo! I love that warm vinyl sound.
don't be silly, horses cant fly planes.
This was the most unkindest cut of all
I don't get it either.
I believe in an afterbirth.
I can can hear satellites crying in my teeth
Sorry for your loss, but next time pay attention to where the glass stops
I'm a wizard!
Thelma and louise was reaaaaaallll
International relationships are getting worse
ancient skull loses eye socket in fencing accident
Found this ancient manuscript, can anyone translate it?
unhappy in space
breakfast in 'merica
curiosity fed the cat
Come back! We aren't really going to eat you!
Dawn of the Bread
1 Like = 1 attempt to Perform space rendezvous
#drbalanced
Modern art is getting a little too modern for me.
Massive orgy reaches climax
when you give a chicken hgh, weird things happen.
Got a message from an adoring fan today! <3
I think this is the wrong python script
i don't have time for this!
Cat tax paid
I woke up sleeping next to this. #yolo
#gps be like
this is not what i meant it to be
Wake up, sheeple.
new tattoo on the back of my head so no one can sneak up on me
When you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes back
New boyfriend. Don't know why my parents don't like him?
It's smaller on the outside
I think we deserved it.
Finally, new tires
my toothache has got worse recently
I'd tap that
they moved the headstones, but they didn't move the bodies
Visited mom today
Sarlac ball pit!
i invented a thing
vegeta? vegeta? vegeta? aaaaaaaaaagggghhh!!! I'm back, and now i'm a ghost.
check out my new sauron fanfic
What do you mean, don't talk about fight club? That's just stupid.
Solo Thumbwar
so like my GF said cutting flowers is like totally bad, but she gets like really pissed if I forget ANY little anniversay, so #ifixed it
Go purr yourself!
IS there something in my nose? #Nofilter
funny how we type xoxoxo for kisses but oxoxox for an oxen stampede
Curiosity Stops Sending Photos, Transmits Crude Line Drawings Instead.
When they realised the comets core was yellow, philae started digging and uncovered this!
Flying fish had no affect on it
Tamper-Proof
picture of my boyfriend
I've discovered a new clean-power source
Get that camera out of my face!
#ivisitedthegrandcanyon #yolo
But I wanted to see the roof... #FirstWorldProblems
Has science gone too far?
Not even once
#Hashtag #ironicSelfie
Trurl and Klapaucius at large again!
My next tattoo! It means "strength and Bravery".
My hobby: photography
The last thing you see before you die
I have never been happy
I only wanted a cheeseburger
Antimater Universe wants a hug.
you'll NEVER belive what kind of planet those scientists found
Never divide by zero
we sail the ocean orange
At least it stopped bleeding acid
GUYS HELP IS THIS SWINE FLU?
Have you ever seen a sitting cow before?
He did say it was edible
hello darkness my old friend
help wanted. inquire within.
He nailed it!
Here comes the sun, do do do do...
hey, so, we need to talk about your sphere-packing problem.
HODOR!
Homo helicopteris captured in bali
Hoverboard to full power!
How did I get here?!?
hungry hungry fencing subcontractors
I'll just go buy cigarettes
i'll never get tired of this.
I'll never see her again... i just... i just don't know how to go on... :(
I'm a fighter!
I'm a Real Boy!
I'm so lost. My gps told me to go this way, and now it has stopped working entirely
I've been robbed!
I've made a huge mistake
I've never been so aware of my own hunger
i've never felt so alone.
i've seen enough hentai to know where this is going.
i am never going to the beauty school for my manicure again
I bought you a RING... ooh shinything!
I call it: "The Futility of American Anything"
I can't even. But I am taking evening classes.
I certainly wasn't going to bury this one
I CHOOSE YOU!
I don't think I really understand what this is.
I don't think that's supposed to go there...
I don't think this is working
I don't want to set the world on fire
I dream of death
I EXPECT YOU TO SAY 'OW OW OW,' MR. BOND
If classy cats evolved from regular cats, why are there still regular cats? checkmate, evolution.
if dreams can't come true, then why not pretend?
I feel like I've been saying "wow, my mom was right" a lot recently
If it quacks like a duck... in spaaace!!!
I forgot the two scoops of rasins!
If you're brave enough...
If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it
if you squint, you can see that it's actually an adequately bearded grain of 1986 millet signing the insurance policy of versailles.
I guess I only have myself to blame.
I havE A SLIGHT MELTING MOTHER-IN-LAW ISSUE
I knew it would be a bad idea to go during the mating season
in an ideal vacuum, at what point does this fish realize it's going to die?
i need one of those 'l'-shaped tetris pieces. you seen any?
i need to do my laundry more often.
In that moment, the reddit realized he'd never wanted it to be this way. He'd never wanted any of it.
in theathers, close to you
I put on my wizard robe and hat
I said we'd get on like a house on fire.
I say: nuts to that!
I see you have constructed a new lightsaber
Is it canibalism if i eat my own nose?
I solved the debt crisis!
Is that a huge salad falling over new york?
Is this real life?
Is this room 101?
it's my hand supposed to do this? #thanksobama
It's not a moon, it's a space dolphin!
It's only what I've been looking for for my entire life!
I think I've figured out how to setup PostgreSQL
I think I need new glasses.
I thought it would be bigger
it is better to light a kindle than to be a cursor in the darkness
It isn't safe on earth any more. Goodbye!
I told him, that retracting flaps would destabilize plane, but he wouldn't listen
I told you I would make it. I'm just a little late...
I was just trying to install freebsd...
I wish I could ride in a balloon
I would never have believed in atlas if I hadn't seen him for myself
Just another day in paradise
just look at that motherfucking satellite
Kids, you aren't cool enough to do this
kill the pig cut his throat spill his blood
Kite powered bike leaves oil executives speachless.
ksp mission success
Larry asked me to be his wingman
leapfrog, anyone?
like my new haircut?
look at my new watch! #justflavourflavthings
look ma, no hands!
look what happened to my satellite
Lord of the Rings Episode IV: Revenge of the ents
Lucky Charms, now with the Higgs Bozon!
Magnificent as fuck
Making a new house rn brb #Homeless
Man, that cool-ade guy really lost some weight lately.
Mari-OH
mario Kart is harder in real life
marvel universe howard the duck returns
Maybe "Sandworm Petting Zoo" was a bad idea.
Minister! We're running out of time.
moo!
More advantages to USB type c revealed
Moses lied to me.
My dad in the army
my friend posing while a plane flies by
MY GIRL'S SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT WAS A BLAST!
My Hobby: freaking people out
My hobby: pretending blank posts have content.
my new duvet cover!
my new toaster has some strange attachments
my rockets have formed a cooperative but I have to do the dishes
my scarecrow took some additional measures of its own...
My selfie stick broke.
My server cooling system.
na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na batcat! batcat! Batcat!
Nasa declares war on Gwaihir, Lord of the Eagles
NASA deny budget cuts have changed their plans
Nasa is fully funded
Need a Haircut
Never will follow the instructions on google maps again.
New candidate announces run for presidency of the united states
New car flipping world record set
New means to help collect more evidence
New pet! #soadorable #imbleeding
new phone who dis
NO. JUST NO.
No guitar without a sombrero
Not a fruit
Not Again :(
Nothing new under the sun
No wants to hear me talk about my cat
now you're hungry too.
Oh, that's where I left them!
oh damn! it's that time of the year again!
Oh god how did this get in here I am not good with cameras
Oh god is it still following me?
Oh no! Not again.
Oh no, it's the moon
Okay, I concede that maybe using a trebuchet is not the best shortcut
omfg, space bugs
one does not simply wok into mordor
Only managed to clock 87 miles Per hour. Crap.
Oops.
Our flying car attemps seems to got out of hand
Oy, my giblets!
Parlez vous Francais?
Parrot to the nth root of a short journey
passed another hitch hiker
Person at checkout freaked when she saw what I was buying.
photo proof for you skeptics out there
Pic of my organic free range flowers. Only $79 on etsy.
Pre-calc: what is the surface area of this blood stain?
Press 'continue' to abort.
Pretty sure ball pits aren't supposed to be like this
Prius Love
Probably a universal turing machine, but too lazy to solve proof
Purple mushrooms roaming the world killing people
?????????????
quack quack, motherflipper
Research shows a new perspective is easily gained.
research shows residues of legs and feet in trees dna
results of toddler-sourced upscaling algorithm
reverse et
reverse microwave oven
rm -rf /
Robert'); Drop Table students;--
Rock, paper, FACE
RUNAWAY UNICYCLE!!
Scientists create first man-clock hybrid
SEINFELD in SPAAAAAACE!
Selfie in corner store #35. $10,000.
should i see a doctor about this?
Since the Droste Incident, federal regulations have prohibited these types of experiments.
Snapped this with my phone, what is it?
So, this happened.
So...Magnets, right?
So... those were real
So long and thanks for all the fish!
Something seems to be wrong with my car
Sometimes all you can do is wait
Sometimes pickles just have to be pickles.
Somewhere, this exists.
So thats What Jesus did
Spiders. Nope.
SQUIRREL WITH PENCil in mouth running around in circles
Stay in the moment. I want you to fully enjoy it.
Stop stalin and make up your mind
Stuck in a loaded canon. Again. FML!
Sun deflation: optimal
SUPPOrt this new alarm clock on kickergogo!
terminal velocity is a myth
Testing my new DIY nuclear power plant
Thanks Obama!
thank you for restoring my faith in the justice system
that's me!
That's not a nut!
That's too much, man!
that's what she said... assuming I heard Her right. Can I come home now?
that awkward moment when you are staring at Barad-dûr for its architectural merits.
The birds found the hobbit hole
The Captain Crunch Kraken
The cat brought in another bird.
the dark side of the moon, amirite?
The designers of this camera literally nailed it
The Dissolution of Parliament.
the event horizon returned
The feeling that somewhere, a duck is watching you
the first official thing i stole from my college roommates.
the floor is made of lava. send help.
The HORROR!
The knids are hungry
The last known picture of my dignity, as it reaches from below the waves
The new Kerbal Scientific mission is out!
The press conference lasted shorter than expected!
The Prodigy is in town!
The prophecy was true!
the rest is darkness and decay
the saddest moment of my childhood
These aren't my sandwiches
The secret to infinite storage space
These hoof warmers are incredibly comfortable!
These two impress me every single day! #proudfather
The spirit is strong, but the car is totaled.
The tea party was right about GMO bicycles
The time has come.
they're all dead, dave.
This definitely wasn't in the Bible.
This elevator has no 'down'!
this got me banned from chuck e. cheese's
This is not a camera, it's a washing machine!
this is the lowest budget version of "day of the Triffids" yet
This is what i had for breakfast
This just in: baby robot duck terrorises populace
this one's over 15 kt bitches!
This photo was taken from my iphone
This trebuchet is set to self-destruct!
this was in the bible
Threaten large birds... check.
Today i am a Chinese clock
Tom was feeling frisky, but i just laughed and took this pic! XD
Too much Acid. Got to sort life out.
too much lens flare?
Top of the world
Trebuchet-launched into a skyscraper...
Trip to the Rockies #DUCKFACE #NOFILTER #NEVERSTOPEXPLORING
Turkey Drumstick Stonehenge was surprisingly compelling!
turns out building a shrink ray was cheaper than genetically engineering giant carrots
two great tastes that go great together
Ugh, i'll never understand art.
uM, I THINK SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH MY CARROT...
unicycle beowulf cluster seeks riders
Visual representation of Dubstep
Wait for it...
Wanted for murder. If found, contact the police immediately.
WARRRBLGARBL
we'll take the next one #CasualRacism
we appear to have exhausted the low-hanging scientific fruit
we had to get creative when the bentley didn't show
Weird trick to losing belly fat and parts of face
welcome to Argentina
welcome to the space jam
Well, I guess than answers the age-old question!
well, so much for the space program
Well, you can't fix what isn't broken.
What a beautiful time to be alive!
what a bummer
What are pixels?
What could possibly go wrong™?
What do you mean it wasn't set to radians?
what happens when you take a selfie with a 500mm lens
Where did THAT come from?
Where did this road come from?!?
where should i put this cool new tatto?
who do you think I am?
whoops GPS error
Who the shit left the fertilizer out in the open? Now we have to deal with this!
why are my eyebrows purple and who stole my hat?!
Why are there ants on my face?!
Why do dogs like this?
Why don't chimpanzees have beards?
Why do people do this?
Why do we call it "behedding" and not "bebodying"?
Why should squirrel learn baseball
worst transformers generation ever. bring back gen 1.
Worth it for the karma.
would you choose the microwave over this?
Wow. Just, Wow.
You'll never guess what happens next...
Your conspiracy theories are dumb.
YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT THE CLOVERFIELD MONSTER ACTUALLY LOOKED LIKE! CLICK TO SEE IT AND 10 OTHER FAMOUS MOVIE CHARACTERS YOU NEVER SAW ON SCREEN!
[user was banned for this text]
♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫
突っ込むところもねい！
🇺🇸 USA! USA! USA! 🇺🇸
🇺🇸 USA! USA! 🇺🇸
💩

prompt_text

The text for when there are multiple images to choose from (685 of these are also used in the feed. 14 have not been found in the feed)

"Bake him away, toys"
"Carpe diem!" my grandfather said to me. This is a picture of him when he was younger.
"Honey, I think the assembly instructions for this washing machine are a bit... What's the opposite of verbose?"
"I'm sorry, i can't do long distance right now"
"Innocent X" by Diego Velazquez, c. 1650, oil on canvas
"Is it symmetric this way?"
"sun" glasses.. lolz. heh.
#ALLLLLLBYMYSELF
#awefullyNicetractsofland
#bedhead
#BEWARE KILLER TREES WITH KILLER BEES INSIDE
#bornthisway
#BROKEN
#CATSANDBIRDS
#caturday
#comfortfood
#Compromise
#DARE to #DREAM
#delfie
#Donthate #Truelove
#DrinkSaltwater
#duckface
#fallingfromorbit
#flavorbomb
#giganticflower #headshot
#GOD
#gps be like
#hashtag
#Hopeicanfly
#lifehacks
#livefeed #colonoscopy
#Long_Exposure
#LOVEATFIRSTSIGHT#JUSTMARRIED
#me #throwbackthursday
#Moses #riverbabies #passover y'all!!!
#newhipsterbike
#nomakeup #justgotup #wow
#nomakeup #natural
#notallmen
#notamodel #nofilter
#paleo #rawlifestyle #tasty #nofilter
#saturday #memories #beautiful
#selfie #atwork #nofilter #potatoduty #yolo
#selfie #nomakeup #nofilter
#SELFIE #WIN #LIKEABOSS #HASHTAG #YOLO #REPRODUCTION #THATSTHEWAYITISDONE #CTF #COOL #KEEPITREAL #BEQUICKORBEDEAD #SWAGGGG #RACE #ENGLISHDYCTIONARY
#stublife
#Toobigtofall
#toothproblems
#twinsies
#vampiremirrorselfie
'BOOM' goes the dynamite!
*Darth Vader Breathing*
1 like = 1 little girl feeded to this cancer dying walrus :'(
1 like = 1 respect 1 share = 15 respect 500 respect = 1 cool
3 year olds first lego experience
8.5 hours later...
11 Mario facts that will blow-a your mind
11 REASON TO SOLVE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS WITH MID AIR SKaTEBOARD STUNTS
20 Facts that will infuriate hipsters
27 things you won't believe are in your local playground
99 bottles of beer on the wall
100 meters in 4 and a half seconds
<3 hanging out with saruman
>< ))*>
Aaaaaargh
About time someone brought me that flattened basketball
about to die lol
ack
A classic battle between the word and the sword, represented by the most noble creature
ACME anvil delivery service...Faster than Amazon!
A Dozen roses, the Barnum Effect, and Thou
a fortuneteller told me to get my head out of the clouds.
a graph showing the amount of time i spend outside
Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough...
A job so boring a bird could do it
All flesh is grass
Allons-Y!
All that fiber finally kicked in, now i conquer #Ukraine#putin#buddies
All things considered, it turned out nice again
Always get a full nights rest
Always watching, never speaking. WHAT does he want?!
amazons newest delivery method
Am I a Pokemon?
Amirite??
An ant figured out how to make free electricity with this one weird trick! Scientists hate him!
ancient skull loses eye socket in fencing accident
and suddenly, popcorn
and then there were nine
And thus, the polar carrot displaced the earth.
and to think this is where it all started
An eight-stringed octopus?
AN I wuz like, GRRRRL Yo beak is so flash!
Another one bites the dust
Antimater Universe wants a hug.
ants, zomg, ants, everywhere
An unsuccessful bike design...
Anyone craving some soup right about now?
Anyone here have any advice on how to get it to stop singing?
anyone seen some uruk-hai? Asking for a friend.
Apparently, it's called "BEAR Fishing"
Apparently it's a thing now...
Apparently the cat didn't want to go to the vet...
Apparently the NSA have been keeping secrets from us
apple's new offering: iscream
April Fools!
aren't rabbits supposed to jump out??
Are We Not Men? We Are Devo.
Artistic recreation from new fossil find
As I place the flowers, I thought, "She will never forgive me for marrying her daughter."
A soulful rendition of "old man river"
As the sun set on the day, I thought about all of my failings, and didn't realize it mattered anymore. I was finally free of the day and could start all over again tomorrow without any judgement weighing on me.
Astronauts tossed out of ISC called "Nuisance" by commuters
As you can see It's windy out here
At this point the probe fires its engine for the 12th and last time before exiting the observable universe
at times like this i ask, "why me?"
australia is not NZ!
AUUUGH
AWESOME! This cloud was so much larger than my thumb!
awesome sunrise this morning #lenscap #nofilter #hashtag
Awwwwwwwwww, poor meteor!
back on tinder!
BALDUR's GATE YOU have all been poisoned and have 14 days to give me 2000 gold HA HA HA
Banana invasion in progress
Bangarang Motherfuckers
Barraco Barner is our nasion's prezident.
Bay-bae lolz
been stuck here for a while, any ideas?
Beer Pong alone again! #YOLO
Best. Funeral. Ever.
Best Christmas gift EVER!
best day evar!!!!
Best funeral ever!!!!! YOLO
Best Halloween costume yet!
Best map projection ever
best republican caucus ever!
better go inside, I need to polish my shoes
big ben is going down.
Big bowl of star-flakes
bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip
Birds are less cute the closer they are.
bit nosy, aren't you?
Black as the crows that peck out my eyes
Black box recorder
blob monster attacking our city lol brb avoiding certain slimy doom lol
Boba fett? Boba Fett? Where!?
bowTieght!
Boy, I tell you what. I bet the roads on the moon ain't this smooth.
brokkolis and sweet potato, nice
bURMA sHAVE!
Burnination? Huh?
But I wanted to see the roof... #FirstWorldProblems
BuzzFeed Quiz: Which bone are you?
Can't believe what I almost threw away!
Can anybody help me identify this animal?
Cant explain that
Can you see it? #illuminati #war #drobe #conspiracy
Captain obvious strikes again
Car broke down on the side of the highway.
Cat in a hat or fox in a box?
caught the sunset tonight at midday
cest ne pas un pipe
Changing Guard at Buckingham Palace
Check out my bowling Ball trophy!
Check out my new cat! Sooooo cute!
Check out my new sonic oc!
Check out my new turntable! #audiophile #lookatme #vinyl
check out my usb sword!
clever girl.....
Click this text and you will find the love of your life within the next 20 minutes! If you don't, your mother will die a horrible death!!!
Click to show secret text
Coco Puffs: Now with your complete daily dose of gamma radiation
come on, put on the slippers.
Come on party people, put your hands together
Contains 8 essential types of spiders!
Copernicus: The early years
CORNFLAKES AGAIN!?!?!??!?!??!
crawling and texting #badcombination
cthulu caught me slipping
cthulu wants what cthulu wants
Dad, Mom, meet my boyfriend
Dad is going to lose his head over this. FML.
Daisy, Daisy, Tell me your Answer True.
Damn, she said no capes. I should have listened.
Darn Pylon built in the cow field again
Dawn of the Bread
day 3: the turnip still refuses to break up on re-entry
Day 12: it's going well I think
Day 19 of my face wash avoidance program
Daylight spending time!
Da_FEELS###!
Deal with it
Death star model 0.0.73
Deep down I think everyone's about 10 percent gangster.
Desystematized chronodynamic balancing detected in VX Module core
Dinosaur extinction: The final Phase
diy abortion
Does my eye look bloodshot?
Does my hair look like it's thinning?
Doesn't like being referred to as garfield
Does this look like pink eye to you?
dOG SHAMING
Do I look fat in this photo?
Do I look like a penguin?
Do my feet look fat?
Don't be thrown by the pareidolia, this is actually an Instagram of bacon & eggs
Don't even say you understand my pain #problems #dontask
Don't get the lava wet! you'll ruin everything!
Don't have a cow, man
Don't send bees, send lions! and send them to france!
Do Notte Buye Betamacks.
doors from ikea: the pinnacle of excellency
Do the Harlem Shake
Do you feline lucky, punk?
drivers feel stupid for not knowing this one simple trick
Dryads. that is all.
Duck Duck Go's secret algorithm
Dude, where's my car?
DX(X^LN(Y!)/xy*pi=screw you
EARTH HAS 4 CORNER SIMULTANEOUS 4-DAY TIME CUBE WITHIN SINGLE ROTATION. 4 CORNER DAYS PROVES 1 DAY 1 GOD IS TAUGHT EVIL.
emergency butter delivery
engage!
Even if you bind his beak, an eagle will drool on you out of spite
Evenutally, they'll write moby dick.
ever get the feeling you're being watched?
every breath you take, every move you make
everyday i'm shoveling
Every day my damn cat makes this face
everything makes sense now
Everything truly IS awesome!
Evolution of puzzles
Extreme beer pong
Fancy
father & daughter re-unite!
Fear the day we Mole People breach the surface of the Earth like Mewling Babes, FOR THAT WILL BE YOUR LAST! #Ihatethesun #goditsbright #isthisworthit?
FENTON!!! FENTON!
Field Trip!
File not found ... creating fake file...
filming the sky was boring. Turns out my foot is more boring...
Finally found a way to disable the flash on my camera
finally found a way to disable the flesh on my camera
finally got that squid stache
Fire can sometimes be hot?
First day of school.
First I glued him to the wall, then I took pictures for my grandma's scrapbook
First post, be friendly
First time posting, please be nice
Fission, fusion, what's the difference?
flying car - it is now officially the future
Fnnnaarrrrr!
Foiled again by the bell curve
for a long time i was accustomed to going to Bed early.
Foreign clouds take british clouds' jobs
forgot to turn the oven off!
Formal on top, party on the bottom
Found: bra left abandoned on romantic beach.
found this in my fridge. Think it's still good?
Found this in my garden, wtf?
Freshly waxed floors + new socks
fuck fuck shit shit, what did i do last night?
Fucking CAKE
FUCK NOT AGAIN
furrowed mustache
George was a good little monkey, and always very curious.
get your ass to mars
goddamnit, that's the fourth time this week!
go home chitty chitty bang bang you are drunk
go home elephant you are drunk
google bots have uncovered some missing bits
GOOGLE GLASS IS WORKING GREAT
Got a hip mustache! What do y'all think?
gotta take big ben down a peg
Got your nose!
GPS Signal lost.. damn it!
Grandma's new boyfriend is a keeper!
GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY ITS ALL GONE TO SHIT
Guess that "sun" was really important after all
Guillotine needs to be recalibrated
Guys did you know we can finally make maglev hammocks thanks to eletropermanent magnets
GUYS HELP IS THIS SWINE FLU?
Had to settle for a beard
ha ha ha... no.
haha oh my cat
Hams apparently don't make good wheel replacements
Has anyone really been as far even as decided to use even go what to do look more like?
Hasbro's new product targets both the small girl and the adult male demographics.
He did say it was edible
He had to learn the hard way: if i clean a window, it will definitely be clean
hello darkness my old friend
Help the police catch this violent criminal before he strikes again.
help wanted. inquire within.
Here comes the sun, do do do do...
Here we see the last two simple machines; the inclined plane and the rocket board
He was never seen again
Hey! My cloaca is down here!
Hey, check out my new green colored shirt!
Hey, it's windows 7 again!
hey is that an event horizon of a blaaaaaa!
Hide! It's Un Chien Andalou!
hobbitses
HODOR!
holy crap, seems the generate dog function works for humans too!
Holy Meals on Wheels
Homo helicopteris captured in bali
Hope that wasn't a granny knot
How's My new haircut?
How many can there be?
hungry hungry fencing subcontractors
I'd call this experiment a success.
I'd tap dat.
I'll catch it one day
I'll just go buy cigarettes
i'll never get tired of this.
I'll never see her again... i just... i just don't know how to go on... :(
I'll show you a forbidden electronic transition!
I'm 95% percent certain this is battletoads
I'm a fighter!
I'm afraid I can't explain myself, sir.
i'm just surprised it took this long.
I'm lost without your love, baby
I'm making my own emojis now! do you like it?
I'm never going on chatroulette again
I'm not aging gracefully, am I?
i'm now 75% more efficient
I 'M out of the acorn
I'm ready!
I'm so lost. My gps told me to go this way, and now it has stopped working entirely
I'm sorry, I'm gluten free
I've been robbed!
I've discovered a new clean-power source
I've found a new way to feed the poor
I've got a tombstone disposition and a graveyard mind.
I've made a huge mistake
I've never been so aware of my own hunger
i've never felt so alone.
I, for one, welcome our new rocktopus overlords
I. AM. BELLSPROUT.
I AM BECOME DERP destroyer of brains
i am never going to the beauty school for my manicure again
I blame supernasa
I bought you a RING... ooh shinything!
I broke cookie clicker...
I broke the etch & sketch
I can't believe it's not cake batter
I can't even. But I am taking evening classes.
i can't form the words to describe such beauty
I can has cheezburger?
I can ride my bike with no handlebars.
I can take photos with my teeth!
I certainly wasn't going to bury this one
I don't Even know What this ad is trying to promote.
I don't get it either.
i don't remember this scene form star wars
I don't think I really understand what this is.
I don't think that's supposed to go there...
I don't think this is working
i don't think we're playing zelda anymore...
I dream of death
I EXPECT YOU TO SAY 'OW OW OW,' MR. BOND
If classy cats evolved from regular cats, why are there still regular cats? checkmate, evolution.
if dreams can't come true, then why not pretend?
I feel like I've been saying "wow, my mom was right" a lot recently
if i don't return by 5pm give this photo to my kids when they grow up
I find this picture reflects my soul.
I finished building our pool, but now i realise we can't afford the water to fill it.
If it quacks like a duck... in spaaace!!!
I forgot the two scoops of rasins!
I found a three fingered kitten!
if there is no water on mars, at least there is data
If you're brave enough...
If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself
if you gaze long enough into the oscilloscope, the oscilloscope gazes back at you, longingly.
If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it
I got the job!
I guess I only have myself to blame.
i hate it when this happens
I hate trying to win bowls of cereal in 'skill tester' machines
I hate waking up from a really good dream
i have a bad feeling about this.
I havE A SLIGHT MELTING MOTHER-IN-LAW ISSUE
I just bought this
I just can't see the point anymore
I just don't get recursion.
i just want to do existential things with my friends
I just want to watch the world burn
Ikea art
I knew there would be side effects
i love a good featureless white void
I Love Playing Piano during Duck Mating season
I love star wars!
I mean, it's no mona lisa, but I think it's at least, like, a last supper
in an ideal vacuum, at what point does this fish realize it's going to die?
In an N-dimensional space, optimal strategy is to think *inside* the box.
i need one of those 'l'-shaped tetris pieces. you seen any?
i need to do my laundry more often.
I never thought that the job of data mining would be so aerobic
In hindsight, it makes perfect sense
in line at the dmv
In my dreams I'm always strong
Interior Crocodile alligator, I drive a Chevrolet movie theater
International relationships are getting worse
intertial reference frame, activate!
In that moment, the reddit realized he'd never wanted it to be this way. He'd never wanted any of it.
in theathers, close to you
in the future, EVERYTHING will be wireless
in the future, we will evolve into limbless creatures who subsist on judging.
In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king
i pushed this. was that bad?
I put on my wizard robe and hat
I REALLY, REALLY DIDN'T THINK THIS THROUGH.
I said we'd get on like a house on fire.
i say, the cheat, let us prey upon that poor sap, the home star runner!
I say: nuts to that!
I see you have constructed a new lightsaber
is good idea yes
I solved the debt crisis!
Is that a huge salad falling over new york?
Is that a new pokemon?
Is that what I think it is? in my salad?
Is this a horse man or a duck man? The answer may surprise you!
Is this an april fools joke? why did this show up at my door?
Is this a rhombus? No one seems to know.
Is this real life?
Is this room 101?
Is this too cheesy?
I still say it looks White and Gold!
I suppose things could probably be worse somehow.
I Swear this dress was yellow and blue
It's a timey-wimey time-lord
It's bigger after you put it together.
it's fun to do bad things
it's in a good part of town
it's my hand supposed to do this? #thanksobama
It's not a moon, it's a space dolphin!
It's the little things
I think I've figured out how to setup PostgreSQL
I think I need new glasses.
i think i need to get out more.
I think there's something here
i THINK WE'RE BEING WATCHED!
I thought getting my body cut in half would be the end of my golf career... but i proved the haters wrong.
I thought it was a good idea at the time
I thought it would be bigger
I thought of it, and it happened
It isn't safe on earth any more. Goodbye!
It is never safe.
I told him, that retracting flaps would destabilize plane, but he wouldn't listen
I told him we were closed and all he said in reply was "You won't like me when I'm angry."
I told you I would make it. I'm just a little late...
I told you to keep the raptors secure
It seemed better in my head
It showed up on the photo, but not irl???
IT WAS A METAPHOR! A METAPHOR DAMN IT!
it was never this complicated when I was a kid
It was the rational response
I used to be like... but then i was all...
i want to ride my bicykle (i found it in pripjat)
I warned him about the Star Wars Holiday Special.
I was just trying to install freebsd...
I was late
I welcome our event-driven overlords
I wish I could ride in a balloon
i wonder why you left me here.
I wouldn't eat that if I were you.
Jet fuel can't melt steel beams
Journey warned you what would happen if you stopped believing.
Jugghead got nothing on me :p
Just another day in paradise
Just combing my M.C. Escher
Just Got A new camera phone!
Just one of those days
just playing with my pet
Just took a Fourier transform of my nightmares.
kang, do i look good in this?
Kids, you aren't cool enough to do this
Kite powered bike leaves oil executives speachless.
ksp mission success
Larry asked me to be his wingman
last march of the ents
Last time i buy a budget hairdryer
Legal Issues
Lego: hours of preparation, 5 minutes of Godzilla re-enactment
Let's go left, they said. The other path looks boring, they said.
Life comes from the Ocean. We just Give them the opportunity to go back
Light traffic today.
like my new haircut?
Like my new nails?
Listen, I wouldn't worry about that. . .
London
london bridge gets a songg, where is mine?
Long, long ago in a forest far, far away...
Look 10 years younger with this one easy trick!
Look at me jumping!
Look at my dollar coin
Look at my new blue dress!
look at my new dog!
Look at that fart propulsion
Look guys! I'm Vincent Van Gogh!
look ma, no hands!
look what happened to my satellite
Lord of the Rings Episode IV: Revenge of the ents
love it!
love it!"...The Aristocrats."
Lunar hatchet throwing contest champion
Macklemore concert was awesome!
Magnificent as fuck
Magnified 10,000 times
Making grape Plasma, om nom nom!
Manchester United had made a terrible mistake with their new striker...
Man with face of clock discovered in Beatty, Nevada; Scientists befuddled
Mari-OH
mario Kart is harder in real life
married a cat
marvel universe howard the duck returns
Maths are hard
may 4th, 2015 nasa finally launches the long delayed Starbucks module for the iss. The first barista is scheduled for a three month stint
Maybe "Sandworm Petting Zoo" was a bad idea.
Maybe they should have put the gun control check point outside the building...
Me, before the topical ointment
me and all my friends
Medieval theme on the internal company conference. My Logo proposal. Comments?
memories of me and my papa at the creek. life was so much simpler then...
Meritocracy is a pipe dream
Met Andrew Hussie At Dashcon
Minimalist cat
Minister! We're running out of time.
Mistakes were made.
Mmm, Spider cake!
Modern art is getting a little too modern for me.
Monday mornings
monkey movember
More advantages to USB type c revealed
More like, Peek-a-Pooh!
Moses lied to me.
Mr. Potato-Head human hybrid discovered
My 7 picture is upside down
My baby is learning how to write!
My boyfriend finally proposed!
my castles stand on pillars of sand
My cat barfed this out
my cat got into the *other* catnip
My cat is cuter than yours.
My cats used to lie all over the floor and block hallways, but thanks to the furniture store, my problems are solved!
my choice of flat-mate may have been a mistake.
my class bet me this couldn't get 500 clicks!
My clothes need a wash...
My elephant is disgruntled with your food service
My feet are cold. Can anyone warm them up?
my friend posing while a plane flies by
MY GIRL'S SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT WAS A BLAST!
My God! It's full of stars. No, wait. Swords, it's full of swords!
My gout's acting up again
My Hobby: freaking people out
My house is my castle
my neighbors don't understand the concept of privacy
my new boss
My new cat is awesome
My new neighbor seems a bit odd
My new oscilloscope has some missing parts
My new tattoo
my new toaster has some strange attachments
My nose will grow now.
my rockets have formed a cooperative but I have to do the dishes
My roommate Just got home and barged into my room
my scarecrow took some additional measures of its own...
My selfie stick broke.
Myspace tom to ground control-
My tastes are very... singular
mYTH BUSTED!
my toothache has got worse recently
My vacation to the Area 51 Testing site!
my wonderful dad!
na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na batcat! batcat! Batcat!
Nasa declares war on Gwaihir, Lord of the Eagles
NASA deny budget cuts have changed their plans
Never bring a blowgun to a knife fight.
Never gonna give you up...
New boyfriend. Don't know why my parents don't like him?
New candidate announces run for presidency of the united states
Newest cheesy movie: When trees attack
New false color imagery from mars curiousity
New haircut!
New means to help collect more evidence
New neighbor treats me like an idiot. "Does your species really exclude sustainability from economics?" smh
New pet! #soadorable #imbleeding
night sledding deserves a quiet night
No, I've never performed brain surgery before, but how hard can it be?
NO. JUST NO.
No guitar without a sombrero
nonononononononononononononononononononononononono
no one ever suspected the shovel
Nope nope nope nope nope
no stars in the sky tonight. Sigh #lonely
Not a fruit
Not Again :(
Nothing new under the sun
Notice anything different?
Not only was the moon landing staged, but it was done with puppets.
No wants to hear me talk about my cat
No way, man! Bento box disappointment. Lone green pea.
no wonder the cat always sits here
Now turn it upside-down
Now we're ready to attach the spiders. Remember, be gentle.
now you're hungry too.
NUTS!
Office gamification has got out of hand.
oh, is that godot? Finally...
oh damn! it's that time of the year again!
Oh God! It's happening again!
OH GOD HOW DO I COMPUTER?!?!?!!
Oh god is it still following me?
OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE
OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?!
Oh here we go
oh I feel a yearning so bad
oh look, a penny
OH MY GOD A HORSE
Oh no! Not again.
Oh no, I'm not equipped to ride a digital wave of this size!
Oh no, i've got glue-cose stuck to my hand!
Oh no, it's the moon
oh no you didn't
Ok, playing soccer in a snowstorm MIGHT not be the best idea ever
Okay, I concede that maybe using a trebuchet is not the best shortcut
omfg, space bugs
OMG! Kittens!
OMG Becky look at her butt
one does not simply wok into mordor
one electrocution can ruin your entire day
One of the less popular Transformers.
One of these things doesn't belong.
One of those mornings...
One year ago I looked like this
only 90s kids will get this!
onomatopoeia? I hardly know ia!
oompa loompa diggeti doo
oops, oops, oops, okay this is happening
Oops.
Optimus prime was having a bad day.
our ballistic artillery now come with advanced fire-control systems
Our flying car attemps seems to got out of hand
Our son has no arms but has a duck's beak.
Ow.
Oy, my giblets!
Pac-man's missing piece
Pants Optional
Park and ride
Parlez vous Francais?
passed another hitch hiker
Penguins are people too #equality
Perspective issues
photobombed by a bird trying to take a picture of a bird
Photographic evidence that cookies exist on other planets.
photo proof for you skeptics out there
Picasso's illegitimate child...
Picked up this little fellow from the pound!
PIctures from my trip to Mount Binary
Pintsize what are you doing?!
Pizza TIME
Plotting the Extrapolation of a Quasi-Exponential Function On Non-Orthogonal Cartesionoid Axes
PostPostModern art
Praise robot jesus! humans, convert and roll out!
Pretty sure ball pits aren't supposed to be like this
Pretty sure jimmers will love this new door.
Probably a universal turing machine, but too lazy to solve proof
Proof Global Warming Is hoax!!!!!
PROOF THE MOON LANDING WAS A HOAX!!11!1!11!one
Purple mushrooms roaming the world killing people
???? USA! USA! ????
racing stripes on hoodies are cool.
Ramen is squishy and soft
RARE BLACK BUNNY WHOSE ONLY NUTRIENT IS COMPLETELY BLACK SALAD
Real Eyes Realize real lies.
real letters have curves #Serif
really not how I thought I would die
Real pirates put the hook on their feet! Yarr!
rehearsals ARE going great! AnD Don't forget to come to the premiere on Thursday!
Removed microwave door, new easier to watch the food cook
Research shows a new perspective is easily gained.
rm -rf /
Roadrunner is the new transport minister
Robert'); Drop Table students;--
rodeo!!
Rollerskating always was overrated
RUNAWAY UNICYCLE!!
run little ghost, run!
Said the duchess to the vicar.
sarlac ball-pit!!!
Saw this on the TV. I didn't turn it on. It was just there. The TV is unplugged and it's still there. Should I call a repairman?
Scientists create first man-clock hybrid
Scorned again, Bob left the party without a date
searching for brain, found this instead
See a carrot deflate a pool ball
SEINFELD in SPAAAAAACE!
SELDOM UTILIZED DIET TRICKS
Selfie in corner store #35. $10,000.
Selfie in the morning
Self Portrait: Complete.
sentient IPOD deleted all my music. again.
share and enjoy
should i see a doctor about this?
Should I sue my hairdresser or not really
Smile! You're on Candid Microscope
smiling is for optimists
So, how many IT guys does it take to change a light bulb?
So, it has come to this...
So, this happened.
So...Magnets, right?
So... those were real
So I figured out that "inflammable" means the same thing as "flammable" today!
so I went and summoned hitler but he got old
So long, and thanks for all the fish
So long and thanks for all the fish!
Somebody sneezed in the Bathtub
some men just want to watch the world burn.
someone take this banana off my face
Someone will Make this About ObamaCare
SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THIS POWER OUTLET CALL AN ELEXORCISTRICIAN
Sometimes, a spherical cow is a reasonable assumption.
Sometimes all you can do is wait
Sometimes I just want to be in the moment.
Sometimes pickles just have to be pickles.
Somewhere, this exists.
Sonogram of our baby! Adorable, Don't you think!? Looks JUST like daddy!
Sorry for the potato quality.
So turns out 'recycling' is not Riding a bike twice.
Spaaaaaaaace!
Spiders. Nope.
Spring has sprang
Starbucks <3 <3 <3
stay away from my eggcorns
Stay in the moment. I want you to fully enjoy it.
Step 1: Jump the shark.
step one: cut a hole in the box
sTEP ONE CUT A HOLE IN THE BOX
Steve is realxing
Still a better love story than "Last Tango in Paris."
still better than last year in ottawa
stipple slash of saturn
Stop flexing in the mirror, you narcissist
stork carrying a babby rabbit!
Strange ingredients for a grilled cheese sandwich, but the recipe did say 'epic'...
Strolling down the street, saw this. #uglybeauty
Submarine-world promblems, amirite?
such bike. so sustainable! very carbon-negative.
sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows...
Sure, they taught a robot to sing, but can they teach it to love?
T-Rex in a snowfield #cretaceous #nofilter #cold
Taco bells give away resulted in unplanned consequences for downtown Houston.
tail recursion spotted in the wild!!
take two, they are small
TANSTAAFL... Mostly
Target Found.
terminal velocity is a myth
Testing my new DIY nuclear power plant
Thanks!
thank you for restoring my faith in the justice system
That's just not very funny
that's me!
That's not a nut!
that's one nasty burn!
That's too much, man!
that's what she said... assuming I heard Her right. Can I come home now?
that awkward moment when you are staring at Barad-dûr for its architectural merits.
That awkward moment when you realise that the dragon that you've been gossiping about is standing right behind you.
That is, in fact, a squirrel.
That sweater is so 2013
That was one hell of a party last night.
That was when things started to get a little weird.
The abyss stares longingly into my heart.
The basis for fast and furious 13.
The best brick joke possible.
The birds found the hobbit hole
The building blocks of life
The Captain Crunch Kraken
the charge of the light brigade
The choice is simple.
The dark helps me see in the carrots
the dark side of the moon, amirite?
the day of the fingernail clipping has dawned
The designers of this camera literally nailed it
The doctor says it is colon cancer :(
The dress is black and white!
The electric dirk was a better dance move than a weapon
The ents met the triffids
the event horizon returned
The Excresence of Indifference (mixed media, 2015)
The feeling that somewhere, a duck is watching you
the floor is made of lava. send help.
The French space program
the game begins...
The goats! They mutated! They are now airborne!
The HORROR!
their love was doomed from the start...
Their vengeance was swift, but surprisingly subtle...
The last known picture of my dignity, as it reaches from below the waves
The last person to be surprised by a selfie
the latest Werner Herzog is a masterpiece #thelamphasnofeelings #outofslatsoutofpier
The less you look at it, the funnier it gets.
The Little Borg Prince
the lotr movies had some subtle changes from the books
The moon landing was a lie
The moon looks weird today
The Moon Will Eat What it will
The Mushroom war claimed most of us. MOST....
The newest Olympic sport
The new Kerbal Scientific mission is out!
The ninetys called, and I had to answer.
The normal distribution looks higher from the bottom...
The prophecy was true!
There's a 66% chance that the other door won't be broken.
There's an rfid tag in every slice of pepperoni.
There's a third bump, growing fast
The real reason for hillary's sudden data loss
The recursive algorithm produces this unique Fractal Image
There goes the neighborhood...
there snow such thing as global warming
The second mouse gets the cheese
These cravings will never stop
The secret to infinite storage space
These two impress me every single day! #proudfather
The soap bubble music experiment went rather well.
The solution to all life's problems
The spirit is strong, but the car is totaled.
The strangest thing subway ever gave me
THe Tanzanian bargin was notoriously one sided and resulted in the bloodiest genocides in the history of man. #YOLO
The time has come.
The top half of his face looked exactly like this, officer
The unforgiving war on health
The view outside of my airplane window.
The vlog was better than the movie
the way of the future
The weight of life in a starry landscape
the world isn't flat, it's a cube!
They're all watching me
THEY added extra salami!! I told them i HAte salami!! they hate me!!! fml!!!!!
they moved the headstones, but they didn't move the bodies
THEy said it was "futuristic" and "useful"
they said we couldn't play god
They see me rolling, they hating
they told me carrots were good for eye health
The Zebra was lying down
This apple got a face on it dog
This diagram of the solar system is not to scale
This explains everything
This explains it all
This guy...
This is a cat
This is a good idea
This is exactly what you think it is
This is how we celebrate easter usually
This is how you get ants!
THis is kinda philosophical if you think about it. If you don't think about it too much.
this is literally the hardest decision I've ever had to make.
This isn't where i parked my zeppelin!
This is not a camera, it's a washing machine!
This is so awsome! Picture of the year! So glad that I got that new camera!!!!!
This is the crankiest potato I've ever seen.
This is what happens when you don't listen to your parents
This is what happiness looks like
This is what I do on friday evenings now
This is what i had for breakfast
This is why I'm not an EMT
This is why we can't have good things
This is worse than when the vending machine ate my change.
This makes my dog twitch when it sleeps
This Military Dictator Thought He knew Everything...And then He Learned these 3 tips for losing weight!
This NSA intercept program is really getting out of hand.
This photo mooves me
This photo was taken from my basement
This photo was taken from my iphone
this was in the bible
this was my inspiration
this will make me a millionaire (patent pending)
those weren't Altoids.
Threaten large birds... check.
throwing epic shade!
Thus Ended Alexander the great's conquest
Time to reap the whirlwind!
tiny man with tiny hat found in upturned regular-sized hat
Today i am a Chinese clock
To infinity and Birdyond!
Tom was feeling frisky, but i just laughed and took this pic! XD
Too many quixotes, not enough giants
too much lens flare?
too much right beef
To the victor go the spoils.
toto i don't think we're in camelot anymore.
Transmogrifier 2.01.5 prototype
Travel the length of these massive bison
Trebuchet-launched into a skyscraper...
Trees on a hill #nofilter
Trip to the Rockies #DUCKFACE #NOFILTER #NEVERSTOPEXPLORING
Triumph. Pure triumph.
True Self-Control
Trurl and Klapaucius at large again!
TRY{throw Baby;}Catch baby{Throwable cause = baby.getCause(); Throw cause;}
Turkey Drumstick Stonehenge was surprisingly compelling!
Turning into a crow was less upsetting than being unable to tweet about it!
turns out building a shrink ray was cheaper than genetically engineering giant carrots
Turns out my explosive frisbees are duds
Turns out the stars were pentagrams all along
two great tastes that go great together
Tycho and gabe stepped up their game
uM, I THINK SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH MY CARROT...
Unfriendly comet eats latest probe
unhappy in space
unicycle beowulf cluster seeks riders
Universe man, Universe man...
Unzipped sock
USB SUX
Use the force responsibly.
using hollowed-out carrots to smuggle drugs across the border.
van gogh's secret masterpiece uncovered in french family's basement
vegeta? vegeta? vegeta? aaaaaaaaaagggghhh!!! I'm back, and now i'm a ghost.
Visited mom today
Visual representation of Dubstep
Wait, what does ⨍(𝕎) represent again?
Wait, you can see that too
Wait ... what? I don't even...
Wait for it...
Wake up sheeple!! the rich are stockpiling candles. This is our future!!!!
walked in on my roommate being terrifying
Wanted for murder. If found, contact the police immediately.
Warning, cadbury eggs should be consumed in moderation, even if supplied for free by air
watch me become the next favorite kardashian
Watch out for the squirrely wrath!
Waynes World, Waynes world!!!
We've got a problem
we appear to have exhausted the low-hanging scientific fruit
We can't do it, the moon is in the way
We claim this iceberg for the Motherland
Weeeee!!!
we had to get creative when the bentley didn't show
we have the technology.
Weird trick to losing belly fat and parts of face
Welcome to carrot facts. Did you know Carrots can improve your vision?
welcome to the internet
welcome to the space jam
We live in a golden age!
Well, I guess than answers the age-old question!
Well, Mr. Bond, we meat again
Well, now this is a thing.
well, so much for the space program
Well, this is a puzzling development.
We made some simplifying assumptions before designing the plate tectonics code.
WENT ALL ZELDA ON THIS CRACKED WALL! #YOLO
we sail the ocean orange
We told iran that atomic energy is unsafe
WHAAAAAAaAT?!?!?!?
What's this thing here in the bathroom?
What, Me worry?
What a beautiful time to be alive!
What are you, a dictionary?
What could go wrong?
What could possibly go wrong™?
what happens when you take a selfie with a 500mm lens
What have facebook been doing with my data? #Whatisgoingon
What? It's always that color.
what to have for breakfast?
When everything looks like a hammer
WhEN THE INTERNET OF THINGS MADE MICROWAVES SENTIENT, THEY DISCOVERED THAT FROZEN BURRITOS WERE EVERY BIT AS DELICIOUS AS THEY'D ALWAYS HOPED.
When they realised the comets core was yellow, philae started digging and uncovered this!
Where are the three sea shells?
Where did THAT come from?
Where did this road come from?!?
where do all the cheetos go
Where do I plug this in?
where should i put this cool new tatto?
where to buy spanish ham ?
which end is the head of a chocolate cornet?
WHO'S THAT POKEMON?
Who came first?
Who Made all these Don quixote clones?
Whoops I left the Lens Cap on for this one. :S
Who said an antique car wouldn't work on the moon?
Who stepped on my pop tart?
Who the fck deleted development branch?!?!
Who the shit left the fertilizer out in the open? Now we have to deal with this!
why are my eyebrows purple and who stole my hat?!
Why are there ants on my face?!
Why did it have to end this Way?
Why did the cypress cross the road?
Why do dogs like this?
Why does a tree cross the road? To destroy mankind, obviously.
Why don't chimpanzees have beards?
Why do people do this?
Why do we call it "behedding" and not "bebodying"?
why do we want to go to space if we're already in space
Why?
Why should squirrel learn baseball
WHY WHY WHY #WHY
WOMAN on ground, Abstract, digital, 2015~ $19E6
Worst pokemon ever
Wow, did you see that??!!
Wow, I didn't expect that spell to work. #Sorrydude
Wow. Just, Wow.
wrangled my first ufo! YEEHAAH!!
WTF!?
wwmd: what would mcgyver do?
Yeah... never gonna happen
Yeah I just like to make my martinis properly, ok?
YES
You'd think it was a tuesday, but it was not.
you'll NEVER belive what kind of planet those scientists found
You'll never guess what happens next...
You are not a good person
you cannot lift a mountain, but if the mountain sustens itself just on top OF you, do you lift it ? #think
you know, for kids
You must be new here.
You want to know how i got these scars?
YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT THE CLOVERFIELD MONSTER ACTUALLY LOOKED LIKE! CLICK TO SEE IT AND 10 OTHER FAMOUS MOVIE CHARACTERS YOU NEVER SAW ON SCREEN!
Zoidgebra 101
[Metal Gear sound effect]
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ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ ก้้้้้้้้้้้
┬──┬◡ﾉ(° -°ﾉ)
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♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫
✔ ONE MORE THING CHECKED OFF MY BUCKET LIST
🇺🇸 USA! USA! USA! 🇺🇸
💩

prompt_captions

The captions to choose from for a single image (1435 of these are also used in the feed. 93 have not been found in the feed)

"...The Aristocrats."
"ARIANA GRANDE" is spanish for "GIANT SPIDER"
"Bake him away, toys"
"Carpe diem!" my grandfather said to me. This is a picture of him when he was younger.
"Cat-like Reflexes"
"Honey, I think the assembly instructions for this washing machine are a bit... What's the opposite of verbose?"
"I'm sorry, i can't do long distance right now"
"I am So. Much. More."
"Innocent X" by Diego Velazquez, c. 1650, oil on canvas
"Is it symmetric this way?"
"My God, it's full of starS." "WeLL, DURR"
"Space duckin'" By led blimp
"sun" glasses.. lolz. heh.
"Use the force, Harry" - Gandalf
#720_no_scope
#ALLLLLLBYMYSELF
#awefullyNicetractsofland
#bedhead
#BEWARE KILLER TREES WITH KILLER BEES INSIDE
#blessed
#bornthisway
#BROKEN
#CATSANDBIRDS
#caturday
#cloudywithachanceofmeatballs
#comfortfood
#Compromise
#DANGERZONE
#DARE to #DREAM
#delfie
#Donthate #Truelove
#drbalanced
#DrinkSaltwater
#duckface
#fallingfromorbit
#flavorbomb
#giganticflower #headshot
#GOD
#gps be like
#hashtag
#HL3 #CONFIRMED #ILLUMINATI
#hoax
#Hopeicanfly
#illuminati
#imnotracistbut
#ivisitedthegrandcanyon #yolo
#justnasathings
#lifehacks
#livefeed #colonoscopy
#lolcats
#Long_Exposure
#LOVEATFIRSTSIGHT#JUSTMARRIED
#me #throwbackthursday
#Moses #riverbabies #passover y'all!!!
#Nailpolish
#newhipsterbike
#nofilter
#nomakeup #justgotup #wow
#nomakeup #justnatural
#nomakeup #natural
#notallmen
#notamodel #nofilter
#onering #fuckhobbits
#paleo #rawlifestyle #tasty #nofilter
#parsnipandoldlace
#Photobomb
#rememberthetitans
#satellite #navigation
#saturday #memories #beautiful
#selfie #atwork #nofilter #potatoduty #yolo
#selfie #imatree #thuglife
#selfie #nomakeup #nofilter
#SELFIE #WIN #LIKEABOSS #HASHTAG #YOLO #REPRODUCTION #THATSTHEWAYITISDONE #CTF #COOL #KEEPITREAL #BEQUICKORBEDEAD #SWAGGGG #RACE #ENGLISHDYCTIONARY
#stublife
#sudowoodoproblems
#this_is_how_an_angel_dies
#this_is_sparta
#Toobigtofall
#toothproblems
#twinsies
#vampiremirrorselfie
'BOOM' goes the dynamite!
((╬ಠิ﹏ಠิ))
*Darth Vader Breathing*
*Sigh* not cat food for diner again
*Tips fedora*
...Freudian sense tingling...
... It's about ethics in games journalism.
...monsters from the id...
1 Like = 1 attempt to Perform space rendezvous
1 like = 1 little girl feeded to this cancer dying walrus :'(
1 like = 1 respect 1 share = 15 respect 500 respect = 1 cool
3 year olds first lego experience
4 8 15 16 23 42
5 nights at freddies 4 #letsplay
8.5 hours later...
9 out of 10 scientists couldn't solve this equation
11 Mario facts that will blow-a your mind
11 REASON TO SOLVE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS WITH MID AIR SKaTEBOARD STUNTS
20 Facts that will infuriate hipsters
27 things you won't believe are in your local playground
99 bottles of beer on the wall
99% of people are too scared to share this post! share if you are one of the 1%
100 meters in 4 and a half seconds
<3 hanging out with saruman
>< ))*>
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Aaaaaargh
A boa constrictor that has swallowed a hat
About time someone brought me that flattened basketball
about to die lol
ack
ACK-scuse me sir, Stop shaking hands and transmit some data.
A classic battle between the word and the sword, represented by the most noble creature
ACME anvil delivery service...Faster than Amazon!
actually, around here we itemize our taxes
A Dozen roses, the Barnum Effect, and Thou
a fortuneteller told me to get my head out of the clouds.
AGHHHHH
a graph showing the amount of time i spend outside
Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough...
A job so boring a bird could do it
Alan?
alas, poor yorick, I knew him well.
All flesh is grass
All my selfies be like
Allons-Y!
All that fiber finally kicked in, now i conquer #Ukraine#putin#buddies
All things considered, it turned out nice again
almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea
always darekst before the dawn
Always get a full nights rest
Always watching, never speaking. WHAT does he want?!
Amazing! Discovery! on mars!
Amazing optical illusion! Can you see the duck?
amazons newest delivery method
Am I a Pokemon?
Amirite??
An ant figured out how to make free electricity with this one weird trick! Scientists hate him!
ancient skull loses eye socket in fencing accident
And so the hunt begins!
and suddenly, popcorn
AND THAT'S HOW i MET YOUR MOTHER.
And the least of the five evils is....
and then there were nine
And thus, the polar carrot displaced the earth.
and to think this is where it all started
An eight-stringed octopus?
ANGRY CATS SMASH ANGRY BIRDS
Angry sofa is angry.
AN I wuz like, GRRRRL Yo beak is so flash!
Annoyance of the week: people who take photos of their food
Another one bites the dust
Another victim of 'got your nose!'
Antimater Universe wants a hug.
ants, zomg, ants, everywhere
An unsuccessful bike design...
Any hatchlings in here?
Anyone craving some soup right about now?
Anyone here have any advice on how to get it to stop singing?
Anyone know what's wrong with my thumb?
anyone seen some uruk-hai? Asking for a friend.
Apparently, it's called "BEAR Fishing"
Apparently i have retinoblastoma.
Apparently it's a thing now...
Apparently the cat didn't want to go to the vet...
Apparently the NSA have been keeping secrets from us
apple's new offering: iscream
Appropriately enough, the jury voted guilty
April Fools!
aren't rabbits supposed to jump out??
Are We Not Men? We Are Devo.
Are you feeling lucky, punk?
Are you kidding me?
are you sure this is a commandline?
Aside from the Fact I Was Buried Alive, The day has been surprisingly good.
As I place the flowers, I thought, "She will never forgive me for marrying her daughter."
As long as there aren't any snake I should be fi- Shit! Snakes!
A soulful rendition of "old man river"
a spherical cow
as sir nibbles of acorn surveyed the destruction, he realized that he had forgotten to account for drag
Asteroids hate him!
As the sun set on the day, I thought about all of my failings, and didn't realize it mattered anymore. I was finally free of the day and could start all over again tomorrow without any judgement weighing on me.
As the sun sets on us, we know we must escape.
Astronauts tossed out of ISC called "Nuisance" by commuters
As viewed on a Macintosh plus
As you can see It's windy out here
at least I don't have to spend more time with sandra bullock
At this point the probe fires its engine for the 12th and last time before exiting the observable universe
at times like this i ask, "why me?"
australia is not NZ!
AUUUGH
AWESOME! This cloud was so much larger than my thumb!
awesome sunrise this morning #lenscap #nofilter #hashtag
A window into my soul
awkward! . . .
Aww, honey, don't cry...
Awwwwwwwwww, poor meteor!
Ayyyy LMAO!
back on tinder!
Bacteriophage is worth 6 points
BALDUR's GATE YOU have all been poisoned and have 14 days to give me 2000 gold HA HA HA
Banana invasion in progress
BANANANANANANANANANA
BANG! ZOOM! STRAIGHT TO THE MOON!
Bangarang Motherfuckers
Barraco Barner is our nasion's prezident.
Bay-bae lolz
Bazookateer crossing
been stuck here for a while, any ideas?
Beer Pong alone again! #YOLO
Before his untimely death.
Being john "Bowler Hat" Malkovich
Belgium
Best. Funeral. Ever.
Best Christmas gift EVER!
best day evar!!!!
Best funeral ever!!!!! YOLO
Best Halloween costume yet!
Best map projection ever
best republican caucus ever!
better go inside, I need to polish my shoes
Beyond Level 256...
big ben is going down.
Big Bird, An orwellian Short
Big bowl of star-flakes
big data strikes back
bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip
birdcoin is looking to be a huge success
Birds are less cute the closer they are.
Birdwatching is an exhausting affair, especially when the birds fight back
bit nosy, aren't you?
Black as the crows that peck out my eyes
Black begins and wins.
Black box recorder
Blackout @ moscov metros station, i have no idea which way the peron is. #yolo
blob monster attacking our city lol brb avoiding certain slimy doom lol
Blood for the blood god! Skulls for the skull throne!
Boba fett? Boba Fett? Where!?
bob ross has only become more powerful in death
bowTieght!
Boy, I tell you what. I bet the roads on the moon ain't this smooth.
breakfast in 'merica
Breaking: World in terror as alien from "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" video lands on Earth, announces world tour
brokkolis and sweet potato, nice
Bulls don't often sit like this!
Bunny eating lettuce. tots adorbs! ^_^
bURMA sHAVE!
Burnination? Huh?
Burrito night
But I wanted to see the roof... #FirstWorldProblems
But then, everything changed when the fire nation attacked.
BuzzFeed Quiz: Which bone are you?
Cakephants are my new friends
Can't believe what I almost threw away!
Can anybody help me identify this animal?
Can somebody call my cell phone? It's not lost, I'm just lonely.
Cant explain that
Can you see it? #illuminati #war #drobe #conspiracy
capes are in fashion
Captain obvious strikes again
Car broke down on the side of the highway.
Cat in a hat or fox in a box?
Cat tax paid
caught the sunset tonight at midday
CeCi N'est Pas Une Pipe
Ce n'est pas un canard
CERN's soLUtion to a cut in funding.
cest ne pas un pipe
Changing Guard at Buckingham Palace
Check out my bowling Ball trophy!
Check out my new cat! Sooooo cute!
check out my new pet
check out my new sauron fanfic
Check out my new sonic oc!
Check out my new turntable! #audiophile #lookatme #vinyl
check out my usb sword!
Christ, what an asshole.
clever girl.....
Click "Like" when you see it!
Click this text and you will find the love of your life within the next 20 minutes! If you don't, your mother will die a horrible death!!!
Click to show secret text
Close the pod bay door, Hal.
Coco Puffs: Now with your complete daily dose of gamma radiation
Come back! We aren't really going to eat you!
come on, put on the slippers.
Come on party people, put your hands together
Connect the dots to see the correct Nixon cabinet member
conspiracy theorists crestfallen after taking photo of platonic ideal rather than its specific manifestation
Contains 8 essential types of spiders!
Coordinates of the ants walking across my screen, as a function of time
Copernicus: The early years
CORNFLAKES AGAIN!?!?!??!?!??!
Cory Doctrow finds Ron Paul's secret Lunar base
could anyone help me find my contacts?
cowabunga, dudes!
cowabunga dude
crawling and texting #badcombination
crenellate good times, c'Mon!
Crocodile Pink Eye
Cruise Kingdom
cthulu caught me slipping
cthulu wants what cthulu wants
curiosity fed the cat
Curiosity Stops Sending Photos, Transmits Crude Line Drawings Instead.
Dad, Mom, meet my boyfriend
Dad is going to lose his head over this. FML.
Daisy, Daisy, Tell me your Answer True.
DAMMIT JIM, I'M A DOCTOR NOT THE DOCTOR.
Damn, she said no capes. I should have listened.
Damn, two o'clock already?
damn. that squirrel's got a ball
damned ninjas
damnit, another drunken tree in the road
damn tree!
Dang! Inflated tires with Helium again!
Darn Pylon built in the cow field again
Dawn: The Final day
Dawn of the Bread
Dawn of the last day: 24 hours remain.
day 3: the turnip still refuses to break up on re-entry
Day 12: it's going well I think
Day 19 of my face wash avoidance program
Daylight spending time!
Da_FEELS###!
Deal with it
Death star model 0.0.73
Deep down I think everyone's about 10 percent gangster.
Definitely not ordering from Walt Orfman's Pizza Restaurant again.
dentists are going crazy about this weird Teeth whitening trick discovered by British mum. as seen on CNN.
Desystematized chronodynamic balancing detected in VX Module core
devil went down to walmart, bought himself a fork
Dey see us Rollin'. Dey Hatin'.
Did nyancat open a cycle repair shop?
Dinosaur extinction: The final Phase
discovered a new shortcut for making toast
Dividing by zero prematurely ended his research career.
diy abortion
Does anyone know if this is supposed to happen
Does anyone know why it is doing this?
does my ass look big in this?
Does my eye look bloodshot?
Does my hair look like it's thinning?
Doesn't like being referred to as garfield
Does this look infected?
Does this look like pink eye to you?
dOG SHAMING
Do I look fat in this photo?
Do I look like a penguin?
DOMINO'S PIZZA IS MADE OF TURTLES! IT'S MADE OF TURTLES!!!!!!
Dominos delivers!
Do my feet look fat?
Do my feet smell?
don't be silly, horses cant fly planes.
Don't be thrown by the pareidolia, this is actually an Instagram of bacon & eggs
Don't Blink. Blink and you're dead. don't turn your back. don't look away. and don't blink!
Don't even say you understand my pain #problems #dontask
Don't get the lava wet! you'll ruin everything!
Don't have a cow, man
Don't inhale!
Don't send bees, send lions! and send them to france!
don't worry, it's part of my plan!
Don't you love it when a pet looks like it's owner
Done my nails, don't they look pretty?
Do Notte Buye Betamacks.
doors from ikea: the pinnacle of excellency
Do the Harlem Shake
Down time
Do you care to #engage with this #content
Do you feline lucky, punk?
Do you have a lighter?
do you reckon i can feed this to my pet spider?
Do you think this will get me a job designing Pokemon?
drive like an ass, be slapped like an ass!
drivers feel stupid for not knowing this one simple trick
Dryads. that is all.
DUCK CONFUSED ABOUT DRESS COLOR, FEELING DEPRESSED
Duck Duck Go's secret algorithm
DuckDuckGoes!
duckface is the new radians
Dude, I can totally catch this!
Dude, where's my car?
DX(X^LN(Y!)/xy*pi=screw you
Early Heavy Metal Story Boards Discovered
EARTH HAS 4 CORNER SIMULTANEOUS 4-DAY TIME CUBE WITHIN SINGLE ROTATION. 4 CORNER DAYS PROVES 1 DAY 1 GOD IS TAUGHT EVIL.
Eating my breakfast!
Eat my shorts
Edward James Olmos to reprise his role as captain picard
Einstein, protesting the copenhagen interpretation, shaves his head.
elevator be damned, I'm going to keep going until I see myself!
emergency butter delivery
engage!
ESA probe enters black hole - first photos!
Et boum! C'est le choc!
Even if you bind his beak, an eagle will drool on you out of spite
Evenutally, they'll write moby dick.
ever get the feeling you're being watched?
every breath you take, every move you make
everyday i'm shoveling
Every day my damn cat makes this face
Everything maKes perfect sense now.
everything makes sense now
Everything truly IS awesome!
Evolution of puzzles
Exact composition of this... thing... is yet to be determined.
Exes, am I right?
Existance is an illusion
Extreme beer pong
FACING east. 3.15pm. Can someone tell me where i am?
Family vacation has taken a turn for the worse.
Fancy
father & daughter re-unite!
Fear the day we Mole People breach the surface of the Earth like Mewling Babes, FOR THAT WILL BE YOUR LAST! #Ihatethesun #goditsbright #isthisworthit?
feeding my pet
FENTON!!! FENTON!
Field Trip!
File not found ... creating fake file...
filming the sky was boring. Turns out my foot is more boring...
Finally, new tires
Finally found a way to disable the flash on my camera
finally found a way to disable the flesh on my camera
finally got that squid stache
Finally here!
Fire can sometimes be hot?
First, thoroughly lubricate the conspiracy theory
First day of school.
First found evidence for Einstein–Rosen bridges.
First I glued him to the wall, then I took pictures for my grandma's scrapbook
First post, be friendly
First screenshot of portal 3 !!
First time posting, please be nice
Fission, fusion, what's the difference?
Flat file viewing
Fluffy's awfully well behaved today
flying car - it is now officially the future
Flying fish had no affect on it
FML
Fnnnaarrrrr!
Foiled again by the bell curve
for a long time i was accustomed to going to Bed early.
Foreign clouds take british clouds' jobs
forgot to turn the oven off!
Formal on top, party on the bottom
For my book report presentation, i'll be acting out "50 shades of gray"
For sale: planet, barely used. slight pest problem
for science!
Fortunately this is posted on Google+, so nobody will ever see it.
for you
Found: bra left abandoned on romantic beach.
Found this ancient manuscript, can anyone translate it?
found this in my fridge. Think it's still good?
Found this in my garden, wtf?
Found this mushroom, thought of you
found this on google maps earlier.
Frank, the newest herald of galactus.
Freshly waxed floors + new socks
FRom the creators of AIR BUD, presenting air chip, the Soccer squirrel. watch your Nuts! Summer 2016
fuck fuck shit shit, what did i do last night?
Fucking CAKE
FUCK NOT AGAIN
Fulfilling western ideals!
Funky fresh beats #sudowoodo
funny how we type xoxoxo for kisses but oxoxox for an oxen stampede
furrowed mustache
Gentlemen, fire up your emacs buffers
George insisted there were better things to worry about, but I had a feeling this was important.
George was a good little monkey, and always very curious.
get your ass to mars
goddamnit, that's the fourth time this week!
go home chitty chitty bang bang you are drunk
go home elephant you are drunk
Goldilocks party!
gone fishing
Goodnight moon
good old troubleshootin'
Google's streetview prank zoomed way out.
google bots have uncovered some missing bits
GOOGLE GLASS IS WORKING GREAT
Go purr yourself!
Got a hip mustache! What do y'all think?
Got a message from an adoring fan today! <3
got Peanut allergies #yolo #swag
Gotta catch em all.
gotta take big ben down a peg
Got your nose!
GPS Signal lost.. damn it!
Grandma's new boyfriend is a keeper!
Great, now I forgot where I left the car.
GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY IT"S ALL GONE TO SHIT
Great ScotT!
Guess I'm stuck here #permadeath #lol
Guess that "sun" was really important after all
Guess where I'm taking this photo from.
Guillotine needs to be recalibrated
Guys, I Found a Unicorn!
Guys did you know we can finally make maglev hammocks thanks to eletropermanent magnets
GUYS HELP IS THIS SWINE FLU?
Had to settle for a beard
ha ha ha... no.
haha oh my cat
Hams apparently don't make good wheel replacements
HAN SHOT THIRD #YOLO
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday, M C Escher
Has anyone really been as far even as decided to use even go what to do look more like?
has anyone seen my force field generator?
Hasbro's new product targets both the small girl and the adult male demographics.
Has science gone too far?
Hat in the cat strike back!
Have fun in the Alps lol
Have fun stormin' da castle.
Have you ever seen a sitting cow before?
havin fun in the wind tunnel. WHOOOSH!
He's been there for three days
He did say it was edible
He had to learn the hard way: if i clean a window, it will definitely be clean
he is so cool
He left me! :ccc
hello darkness my old friend
hello you're on car talk
Help! HELP! I need an adult
Help! my mustache is eating my fammmmmrhmhghhh
HELP I'M just a pheasant
Help the police catch this violent criminal before he strikes again.
help wanted. inquire within.
He nailed it!
Here comes the sun, do do do do...
Heres a pic of a wild catus, who just saw a balloon
Here we see the last two simple machines; the inclined plane and the rocket board
He thought 'chutes were for the insecure
He was never seen again
Hey! My cloaca is down here!
Hey, check out my new green colored shirt!
Hey, it's windows 7 again!
hey, so, we need to talk about your sphere-packing problem.
Hey, what did you mortals do with my chariot?
hey is that an event horizon of a blaaaaaa!
hgghjg
Hide! It's Un Chien Andalou!
High Bro, five.
Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go
Hmmmm, which one isthe Vegan option?
Hmm The Earth halves kinda look like buts.
hobbitses
HODOR!
holy crap, seems the generate dog function works for humans too!
Holy Meals on Wheels
Homework's done, finally time to get wasted
Homo helicopteris captured in bali
Hope that wasn't a granny knot
Hoping this makes it past customs
horses can't use chalk. stupid horse.
Houston, we are the problem
Hoverboard to full power!
How's My new haircut?
how can mirrors be real if your eyes aren't real?
How did I get here?
How did I get here?!?
How did the mars rover get here?
How does this work again?
how do I take photos with this?
how do i turn this off?
how do you get the screensaver off?
How is this still a thing?
How many can there be?
how to make roommate stop pooping everywhere
hungry hungry fencing subcontractors
I'd call this experiment a success.
I'd tap dat.
I'd tap that
I'll catch it one day
I'll just go buy cigarettes
I'll miss the sparrow with my sparrow missile
i'll never get tired of this.
I'll never see her again... i just... i just don't know how to go on... :(
i'll see you on the dark side of the moon
I'll show you a forbidden electronic transition!
I'm, like, a minecraft genie!
I'm 95% percent certain this is battletoads
I'm a fighter!
I'm afraid I can't explain myself, sir.
I'm a Real Boy!
I'm a wizard!
i'm being ironic
I'm going to be smashed to bits
i'm just surprised it took this long.
I'm lost without your love, baby
I'm making my own emojis now! do you like it?
I'm never going on chatroulette again
I'm no longer welcome at the play centre.
I'm not aging gracefully, am I?
I'm not even mad. that's amazing
I'm not saying it was aliens but it was aliens
i'm now 75% more efficient
I 'M out of the acorn
I'm ready!
I'm so lost. My gps told me to go this way, and now it has stopped working entirely
I'm sorry, I'm gluten free
I've been robbed!
I've discovered a new clean-power source
I've found a new way to feed the poor
I've got a tombstone disposition and a graveyard mind.
I've made a huge mistake
i've made a huge mistake
I've never been so aware of my own hunger
i've never felt so alone.
I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going.
i've seen enough hentai to know where this is going.
I, for one, welcome our new rocktopus overlords
I. AM. BELLSPROUT.
I am a beautiful person.
I am become Death, Destroyer of insects smaller than 4mm
I AM BECOME DERP destroyer of brains
I am infinite. i am eternal.
i am never going to the beauty school for my manicure again
i am wearing a bolo tie
I believe in an afterbirth.
I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken.
I blame supernasa
I bought you a RING... ooh shinything!
I broke cookie clicker...
i broke it
I broke the etch & sketch
I call it: "The Futility of American Anything"
I call zeno's paradox on this... thing.
I can't believe it's not cake batter
I can't even. But I am taking evening classes.
i can't form the words to describe such beauty
I can can hear satellites crying in my teeth
I can control the BEES! But I only make them turn right
I can has cheezburger?
I can ride my bike with no handlebars.
I can take photos with my teeth!
I can walk on my hands
I certainly wasn't going to bury this one
I CHOOSE YOU!
I don't Even know What this ad is trying to promote.
I don't get it either.
i don't have time for this!
I don't know
I don't know if this is proof of anything other than old habits dying hard
I don't regret pressing the button
i don't remember this scene form star wars
I don't think I really understand what this is.
I don't think that's supposed to go there...
I don't think this is working
i don't think we're playing zelda anymore...
I don't want to set the world on fire
i do the same thing at frat parties
I dream of death
I EXPECT YOU TO SAY 'OW OW OW,' MR. BOND
If classy cats evolved from regular cats, why are there still regular cats? checkmate, evolution.
if dreams can't come true, then why not pretend?
I feel like I've been saying "wow, my mom was right" a lot recently
If i am in your dreams at night, in those dreams i want you to describe to me the sources of international law
if i don't return by 5pm give this photo to my kids when they grow up
I finally killed the weird recognizer that was following me
I find this picture reflects my soul.
I finished building our pool, but now i realise we can't afford the water to fill it.
If it quacks like a duck... in spaaace!!!
I forgot the two scoops of rasins!
I forgot to get a plane
I forgot to turn the tap off lol
I fought the law. They won
I found a three fingered kitten!
I found it!!!!!!!
I found this in my navel, should I be worried?
I found this little guy in the woods near my house
if there is no water on mars, at least there is data
If you're brave enough...
If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself
If you've got a moustache...
if you gaze long enough into the oscilloscope, the oscilloscope gazes back at you, longingly.
If you hadn't invented it, it would have to exist.
If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it
if you squint, you can see that it's actually an adequately bearded grain of 1986 millet signing the insurance policy of versailles.
I got a new geigerteller
I GOT MY EYEBROWS DID
I got the job!
I got this in the mail today
I guess I only have myself to blame.
I has a sad
i hate it when this happens
I hate this channel
I hate trying to win bowls of cereal in 'skill tester' machines
I hate waking up from a really good dream
i have a bad feeling about this.
I havE A SLIGHT MELTING MOTHER-IN-LAW ISSUE
I have never been happy
I have tasted many fish
i invented a thing
I just bought this
I just can't see the point anymore
I just don't get recursion.
I just joined the Kite Kite Kite!
i just want to do existential things with my friends
I just want to watch the world burn
Ikea art
I knew I nailed it!
I knew it would be a bad idea to go during the mating season
I knew there would be side effects
I like this picture
I loled my head off!!!
I looked, and behold, an ashen horse; and he who sat on it had the name Death; and Hades was following with him.
I lost my tooth
I lost my wits
I lost my wrist
i love a good featureless white void
I Love Playing Piano during Duck Mating season
I love star wars!
I mean, it's no mona lisa, but I think it's at least, like, a last supper
i miss myspace. *sigh* #thegoodolddays
I mistook myself for a bird
im sure there is a dad joke in this somewhere
in an ideal vacuum, at what point does this fish realize it's going to die?
In an N-dimensional space, optimal strategy is to think *inside* the box.
i need one of those 'l'-shaped tetris pieces. you seen any?
i need to do my laundry more often.
I never thought that the job of data mining would be so aerobic
I never understood that part of the bibile
In hindsight, it makes perfect sense
In hindsight, this probably wasn't the best way to teach addition
Initiate evasive maneuver!
in line at the dmv
In my dreams I'm always strong
inner city air conditioning
Interior Crocodile alligator, I drive a Chevrolet movie theater
International relationships are getting worse
intertial reference frame, activate!
In that moment, the reddit realized he'd never wanted it to be this way. He'd never wanted any of it.
in theathers, close to you
in the future, EVERYTHING will be wireless
in the future, we will evolve into limbless creatures who subsist on judging.
In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king
introducing the yolo distribution
I only wanted a cheeseburger
i pushed this. was that bad?
I put on my wizard robe and hat
I REALLY, REALLY DIDN'T THINK THIS THROUGH.
I said we'd get on like a house on fire.
i say, the cheat, let us prey upon that poor sap, the home star runner!
I say: nuts to that!
I see you have constructed a new lightsaber
I sentence you to deliciousness!
is good idea yes
I should really separate those
Is it canibalism if i eat my own nose?
is it midnight yet?
Is it really today, already?
is it wrong how turned on i am by this?
I solved the debt crisis!
Is that a huge salad falling over new york?
Is that a new pokemon?
is that a war walrus?
Is that what I think it is? in my salad?
is the eject button meant to do this?
Is there a bee on my nose?
Is there really any point? FML
IS there something in my nose? #Nofilter
Is this a horse man or a duck man? The answer may surprise you!
Is this an april fools joke? why did this show up at my door?
Is this a rhombus? No one seems to know.
is this just a fantasy?
Is this real life?
Is this room 101?
Is this too cheesy?
I still say it looks White and Gold!
I suppose things could probably be worse somehow.
I Swear this dress was yellow and blue
It's a cat ass trophy
It's a Finger trap
It's a timey-wimey time-lord
it's bicycles all the way down
It's bigger after you put it together.
it's fun to do bad things
it's in a good part of town
it's like rain on your wedding day!
it's my hand supposed to do this? #thanksobama
It's not a good part of town
It's not a moon, it's a space dolphin!
it's not what you think
it's only awkward if you think it's awkward #awkotaco
It's only what I've been looking for for my entire life!
it's pretty dark in this box
It's smaller on the outside
It's the little things
it's the minecraft world
it all fits together, guys!
I TELL YA, NOTHING BEATS A FRIED EGG ON TOAST!
I think I've figured out how to setup PostgreSQL
I think I can... I think I can
I think I just came across a QUANTUM teleporter
I think i lost my dorsal fin
I think I need new glasses.
i think i need to get out more.
I think my houseplant is doing pretty good #greenthumb
I think there's something here
I think the white balance on my new SLR is off
I think this is actually kind of a big step for a man.
I think this is the wrong python script
i THINK WE'RE BEING WATCHED!
I thought aircraft carriers were bigger....
I thought getting my body cut in half would be the end of my golf career... but i proved the haters wrong.
I thought it was a good idea at the time
I thought it would be bigger
I thought of it, and it happened
it is better to light a kindle than to be a cursor in the darkness
It isn't safe on earth any more. Goodbye!
It is never safe.
it makes sense if you think about it
I told him, that retracting flaps would destabilize plane, but he wouldn't listen
I told him we were closed and all he said in reply was "You won't like me when I'm angry."
I told you I would make it. I'm just a little late...
I told you to keep the raptors secure
I trained him to do this, but now he won't stop.
It seemed better in my head
It showed up on the photo, but not irl???
IT WAS A METAPHOR! A METAPHOR DAMN IT!
it was an odd place to find a stop sign
it was never this complicated when I was a kid
It was then that the ugly duckling realized that beauty was an arbitrarily-defined cultural construct, and that true beauty came from within.
It was the rational response
I used to be like... but then i was all...
i walk a lonely road, the only road that i have ever known...
i want to ride my bicykle (i found it in pripjat)
I want to run, but my legs won't move :(
I warned him about the Star Wars Holiday Special.
I was cleaning jello off the floor for *AGES*
i was gonna eat that
I was just mugged by an angry mob of hipsters!
I was just trying to install freebsd...
I was late
i was told this came with a bowl of soup.
I welcome our event-driven overlords
I will take that one please
I will wear this shirt until one of us dies.
I wish I could afford the monopolar model...
I wish I could ride in a balloon
I woke up sleeping next to this. #yolo
I wonder if it will be friends with me
I wonder what will this lead to...
i wonder why you left me here.
I wouldn't eat that if I were you.
I would never have believed in atlas if I hadn't seen him for myself
Jesus Wept
Jet fuel can't melt steel beams
Jet memes cant fuel steel belts
Job interview today.
John never thought a tongue fractal would hurt so much
John really wanted to travel north, however that side of the road was missing
Journey warned you what would happen if you stopped believing.
Jugghead got nothing on me :p
Just a little more to the right
just another cat video
Just another day in paradise
Just combing my M.C. Escher
just cos()
just found this in my garden. Should i be worried?
Just Got A new camera phone!
Just hangin' around
just learned where milk comes from! #vegan4ever
just look at that motherfucking satellite
Just one of those days
just playing with my pet
Just some home decorating
Just took a Fourier transform of my nightmares.
just two more trips over the horizon
kang, do i look good in this?
Kids, you aren't cool enough to do this
kill the pig cut his throat spill his blood
Kite powered bike leaves oil executives speachless.
ksp mission success
Lack of cucumbers
Larry asked me to be his wingman
last march of the ents
Last time i buy a budget hairdryer
Later levels in Luna Lander get really fucking harsh.
leaked photo of hellraiser reboot
leapfrog, anyone?
Leave this one adrift, Ishmael. Let the ocean take her
Legal Issues
Lego: hours of preparation, 5 minutes of Godzilla re-enactment
Let's go left, they said. The other path looks boring, they said.
Let's have a blinking contest
LET'S PLAY A GAME OF FORCED PERSPECTIVE.
Let it go, let it go.... the cold never bothered me anyway.
Life comes from the Ocean. We just Give them the opportunity to go back
Life is a matter of perspective, really.
Life is cruel and unyielding, and what must be must be
Life is hard three standard deviations to the left.
Life on the moon.
Life outside the matrix
Light traffic today.
Like a G6, baby, like a g6
like my new haircut?
Like my new nails?
Listen, I wouldn't worry about that. . .
lol, no i didn't jump
London
london bridge gets a songg, where is mine?
Long, long ago in a forest far, far away...
Look 10 years younger with this one easy trick!
look at me, i'm from England!
Look at me jumping!
Look at my dollar coin
Look at my new blue dress!
look at my new dog!
look at my new watch! #justflavourflavthings
Look at that fart propulsion
Look guys! I'm Vincent Van Gogh!
Look I genehacked a cowhorse!
look ma, no hands!
Look man, it's never gonna happen
Look out!
Looks like he wants a ride. Should we pull over?
Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair
Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!
look what happened to my satellite
look what i found underneath my pillow
Look what I just ordered on amazon.com!
Lord of the Rings Episode IV: Revenge of the ents
Los Angeles sure is beautiful this time of year
Love is creepy
love it!
love it!"...The Aristocrats."
Lucky Charms, now with the Higgs Bozon!
Lunar hatchet throwing contest champion
Macklemore concert was awesome!
Made in god's own image, yessiree!
Magnificent as fuck
Magnified 10,000 times
Making a selfie.
Making grape Plasma, om nom nom!
Malcovic, Malcovic, Malcovic, Malcovic!
Man, it's windy
Man, that cool-ade guy really lost some weight lately.
Manchester United had made a terrible mistake with their new striker...
Man in the Moon slumming
Man or mouse? No need to decide!
Man with face of clock discovered in Beatty, Nevada; Scientists befuddled
Mari-OH
mario Kart is harder in real life
married a cat
Mars Instant Messenger Prototype
marvel universe howard the duck returns
Massive orgy reaches climax
MATE YOU HAVE FORGOT YOUR STICK
Maths are hard
Max gentleman
may 4th, 2015 nasa finally launches the long delayed Starbucks module for the iss. The first barista is scheduled for a three month stint
Maybe "Sandworm Petting Zoo" was a bad idea.
Maybe they should have put the gun control check point outside the building...
Me, before the topical ointment
me and all my friends
Medieval theme on the internal company conference. My Logo proposal. Comments?
Meet the new CEO of my Bank!
Me llamo t-bone
memories of me and my papa at the creek. life was so much simpler then...
Mentos and lava
Mercator projection on a cube... Globes are boring.
Meritocracy is a pipe dream
Met Andrew Hussie At Dashcon
Minecraft has fingerprints Now!
Minimalist cat
Minister! We're running out of time.
Mistakes were made.
Mmm, Spider cake!
mmm...vegemite...
Modern art is getting a little too modern for me.
Molten steel can't fuel jet beams
Monday mornings
monkey movember
moo!
More advantages to USB type c revealed
More like, Peek-a-Pooh!
Moses lied to me.
Mr. Potato-Head human hybrid discovered
Muahahahahahah
My 7 picture is upside down
My baby is learning how to write!
My boyfriend finally proposed!
my castles stand on pillars of sand
My cat barfed this out
my cat got into the *other* catnip
My cat is cuter than yours.
my cat is sick
My cats used to lie all over the floor and block hallways, but thanks to the furniture store, my problems are solved!
my choice of flat-mate may have been a mistake.
my class bet me this couldn't get 500 clicks!
My clothes need a wash...
My collections still growing! Just let's hope it won't rain soon
My dad in the army
My doctor said to take two of these and call him in the morning.
My elephant is disgruntled with your food service
my euler circuit is alive!
My feet are cold. Can anyone warm them up?
My first selfie!
My four other heads and I are counting on your vote!
my friend posing while a plane flies by
MY GIRL'S SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT WAS A BLAST!
My God! It's full of stars. No, wait. Swords, it's full of swords!
My gout's acting up again
My halloween costume
My hero
My Hobby: freaking people out
MY HOBBY: Life size Sock Puppets
My hobby: photography
My hobby: pretending blank posts have content.
My house is my castle
my lasik didn't go so well.
MY MOUSE GOT A FACIAL TATTOO. WILL IT LIMIT HIS RESEARCH JOB PROSPECTS?
my neighbors don't understand the concept of privacy
my new boss
My new cat is awesome
my new duvet cover!
My new haircut!
my new haircut only exists in another dimension
My new neighbor seems a bit odd
My new oscilloscope has some missing parts
My new tattoo
my new toaster has some strange attachments
My next tattoo! It means "strength and Bravery".
My nieghbor totoro loses his mind
My nose will grow now.
My parents took away my phone privileges
my rockets have formed a cooperative but I have to do the dishes
My roommate Just got home and barged into my room
my scarecrow took some additional measures of its own...
My screen test for Top Gear didn't go well...
My selfie stick broke.
My server cooling system.
Myspace tom to ground control-
my taco face
My tastes are very... singular
mYTH BUSTED!
my toothache has got worse recently
My vacation to the Area 51 Testing site!
my wonderful dad!
na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na batcat! batcat! Batcat!
nasa and the Post office collaborate on new postage stamp
Nasa declares war on Gwaihir, Lord of the Eagles
NASA deny budget cuts have changed their plans
Nasa is fully funded
Need a Haircut
Neil Degrasse Tyson is having a bit of an odd day.
Neither the hero this city needs or deserves, still he was the only hero this city had.
Never bring a blowgun to a knife fight.
Never gonna give you up...
Never will follow the instructions on google maps again.
New amazon product
New boyfriend. Don't know why my parents don't like him?
New candidate announces run for presidency of the united states
New car flipping world record set
new drupal logo
Newest cheesy movie: When trees attack
New false color imagery from mars curiousity
New haircut!
New headcanon:
New means to help collect more evidence
New microwave over cures/causes cancer!
New neighbor treats me like an idiot. "Does your species really exclude sustainability from economics?" smh
New pet! #soadorable #imbleeding
new phone who dis
New selfy stick you can hold with your foot
New Super Mario bros in real life!
new tattoo on the back of my head so no one can sneak up on me
New tat turned out pretty good. Kinda weird having a guy stare at my ass for that long but whatev, it's worth it. DASHIE 4 LYFE.
NICE MULTIPANTS
night sledding deserves a quiet night
No, I've never performed brain surgery before, but how hard can it be?
No, really; I'm an 8-legged dog. Come Closer.
NO. JUST NO.
nobody knows the trouble i've seen
No guitar without a sombrero
No lie, this is delicious
Nom nom nom
nomnomnomnom nomnom om nom nom
No more sorrow!
nonononononononononononononononononononononononono
no one ever suspected the shovel
Nope nope nope nope nope
No regrets on this new roofing material
no stars in the sky tonight. Sigh #lonely
Not a fruit
Not Again :(
Not as healthy as it looks
Note: HUGE SUCCess
Not gonna lie. No idea what this is.
Nothing new under the sun
Notice anything different?
Not only was the moon landing staged, but it was done with puppets.
Now, It's not every Day you get to be glorious leader
No wants to hear me talk about my cat
No way, man! Bento box disappointment. Lone green pea.
no wonder the cat always sits here
Now turn it upside-down
Now we're ready to attach the spiders. Remember, be gentle.
Now we play... the most dangerous game
now you're hungry too.
Nutritionists hate this simple trick
NUTS!
Obama pardons Santa claus
Office gamification has got out of hand.
Oh, Canada...
oh, is that godot? Finally...
Oh, that's where I left them!
Oh bother not again
oh damn! it's that time of the year again!
oh god!! the youtube views were not worth it!! they weren't woooorth iiiiit
Oh God! It's happening again!
Oh god how did this get in here I am not good with cameras
OH GOD HOW DO I COMPUTER?!?!?!!
Oh god is it still following me?
OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE
OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?!
Oh here we go
oh I feel a yearning so bad
oh look, a penny
OH MY GOD A HORSE
Oh No! Not again!
Oh no! Not Again.
Oh no! Not again.
Oh no, I'm not equipped to ride a digital wave of this size!
Oh no, i've got glue-cose stuck to my hand!
Oh no, it's the moon
oh no you didn't
Oh shit, not again.
oK, LISTEN. nO ONE WILL CHECK HERE. aGENT 27 IS COMPROMISED. nEW pASSWORD IS "rECURSIVE"
Ok, playing soccer in a snowstorm MIGHT not be the best idea ever
Okay, bradford pears grow *really* fast.
Okay, I concede that maybe using a trebuchet is not the best shortcut
omfg, space bugs
OMG! Kittens!
OMG! r u 4 real?! this is like the best thing evaaaar! #yay #blessed #someonelovesme
OMG Becky look at her butt
OMG I cannot even
omg too much chiplote
On a scale of one to ten, I fucked up.
one does not simply wok into mordor
one electrocution can ruin your entire day
One of the less popular Transformers.
One of these things doesn't belong.
One of those mornings...
One year ago I looked like this
only 90 kids will remember this.
only 90s kids will get this!
Only 90s kids will remember
Only managed to clock 87 miles Per hour. Crap.
onomatopoeia? I hardly know ia!
On the plus side, the exhaust system does work
oompa loompa diggeti doo
Oops, I forgot the cowboy hat
oops, oops, oops, okay this is happening
Oops.
Open wide!
Optimus prime was having a bad day.
our ballistic artillery now come with advanced fire-control systems
Our flying car attemps seems to got out of hand
Our son has no arms but has a duck's beak.
Ow.
Oy, my giblets!
Pac-man's missing piece
Pants Optional
paper can't substitute the smell of an old kindle
parallel universe, here i come! #sweet!
Park and ride
PARKOUR IN ACTION
Parlez vous Francais?
Parrot to the nth root of a short journey
passed another hitch hiker
peeling back the pages of history
Penguins are people too #equality
Pentagonal head? That's nuts!!! *cough* *ahem* I think you mean bolts.
Person at checkout freaked when she saw what I was buying.
Perspective issues
Philae lander found!
photobombed again
photobombed by a bird trying to take a picture of a bird
Photographic evidence that cookies exist on other planets.
photo proof for you skeptics out there
PHOTOSYNTHESIS HELL YEAH
Picasso's illegitimate child...
Picked up this little fellow from the pound!
Picking mushrooms
Pic of my organic free range flowers. Only $79 on etsy.
picture of my boyfriend
picture proof that alien invasion is real! #thanksobama
PIctures from my trip to Mount Binary
Pintsize what are you doing?!
Pizza TIME
play it cool
Please note that our professional disaster recovery team are working tirelessly to rebuild your data. We apologise for the delay. - xkcloud
Please send help.
Plotting the Extrapolation of a Quasi-Exponential Function On Non-Orthogonal Cartesionoid Axes
Posting my garden to Etsy. #humbleswag
PostPostModern art
Praise robot jesus! humans, convert and roll out!
Pre-calc: what is the surface area of this blood stain?
Press 'continue' to abort.
Pretty sure ball pits aren't supposed to be like this
Pretty sure jimmers will love this new door.
pretty sure the void is staring back #whenyoustarelongenough #lostsanity
Prius Love
Probably a universal turing machine, but too lazy to solve proof
product testing has confirmed our suspicions...
Proof: loch ness monster.
Proof Global Warming Is hoax!!!!!
PROOF THE MOON LANDING WAS A HOAX!!11!1!11!one
Prop Failure #Lol#Hustonwehaveaproblem
prototype soccer ball
PSA: If you don't see this, don't ask your embarrassing medical questions
Purple mushrooms roaming the world killing people
?????????????
quack quack, motherflipper
Quite.
QWANTZ Fanfic
racing stripes on hoodies are cool.
Ramen is squishy and soft
RARE BLACK BUNNY WHOSE ONLY NUTRIENT IS COMPLETELY BLACK SALAD
Real Eyes Realize real lies.
real letters have curves #Serif
really not how I thought I would die
Real pirates put the hook on their feet! Yarr!
Reblog to 500 people or your cat will die.
rehearsals ARE going great! AnD Don't forget to come to the premiere on Thursday!
Removed microwave door, new easier to watch the food cook
Research shows a new perspective is easily gained.
research shows residues of legs and feet in trees dna
results of toddler-sourced upscaling algorithm
reverse et
reverse microwave oven
rm -rf /
Roadrunner is the new transport minister
Robert'); Drop Table students;--
Robots in much better disguise
Rock, paper, FACE
rodeo!!
rofl
Rollerskating always was overrated
RUNAWAY UNICYCLE!!
run little ghost, run!
sad cow is sad
Safety: it's more like 'Guidelines'
Said the duchess to the vicar.
Sailor Moon Cosplay Queen
sarlac ball-pit!!!
Sarlac ball pit!
Saw this in a safari park, the rangers wouldn't help it
Saw this on the TV. I didn't turn it on. It was just there. The TV is unplugged and it's still there. Should I call a repairman?
school's out!
Scientists create first man-clock hybrid
Scientists take photo of Dark energy for the first time, you will not believe how it looks!
Scorned again, Bob left the party without a date
Screw it, here's a cat pic
searching for brain, found this instead
See a carrot deflate a pool ball
See it again in slo mo
SEINFELD in SPAAAAAACE!
SELDOM UTILIZED DIET TRICKS
Selfie #Nofilter
Selfie in corner store #35. $10,000.
Selfie in the morning
Self Portrait: Complete.
senpai noticed me! ^_^
sentient IPOD deleted all my music. again.
share and enjoy
share this so xkcd cannot sell our data to the reptilians
She's got interesting taste in men.
should i see a doctor about this?
Should I sue my hairdresser or not really
SIDE GOER 4
Since the Droste Incident, federal regulations have prohibited these types of experiments.
Smile! You're on Candid Microscope
smiling is for optimists
Snapped this with my phone, what is it?
So, how many IT guys does it take to change a light bulb?
So, it has come to this...
so, scientology...
So, this happened.
So...Magnets, right?
So... those were real
So I figured out that "inflammable" means the same thing as "flammable" today!
so I went and summoned hitler but he got old
so like my GF said cutting flowers is like totally bad, but she gets like really pissed if I forget ANY little anniversay, so #ifixed it
So long, and thanks for all the fish
So long and thanks for all the fish!
Solo Thumbwar
Somebody sneezed in the Bathtub
some men just want to watch the world burn.
someone just gave me this. I don't know what it means...
someone take this banana off my face
Someone will Make this About ObamaCare
SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THIS POWER OUTLET CALL AN ELEXORCISTRICIAN
Something seems to be wrong with my car
Something tells me this is all part of a larger experiment
SOmething went wrong while shaving...
Sometimes, a spherical cow is a reasonable assumption.
Sometimes all you can do is wait
Sometimes I just want to be in the moment.
Sometimes pickles just have to be pickles.
sometimes you just can't get rid of a bomb
Somewhere, this exists.
Sonogram of our baby! Adorable, Don't you think!? Looks JUST like daddy!
Soon. Soon...
sorry dad
Sorry for the potato quality.
Sorry for your loss, but next time pay attention to where the glass stops
So that's where that hour went on Sunday night
So thats What Jesus did
So turns out 'recycling' is not Riding a bike twice.
SOYUZ SOLAR ARRAY decimating couch
SPAAAAAAAAcE
Spaaaaaaaace!
Space from my window
Spiders. Nope.
Spring has sprang
SQUIRREL WITH PENCil in mouth running around in circles
Starbucks <3 <3 <3
Starting to regret my OUYA purchase
stay away from my eggcorns
Stay in the moment. I want you to fully enjoy it.
stay out of my house, santa
Step 1: Jump the shark.
step one: cut a hole in the box
sTEP ONE CUT A HOLE IN THE BOX
Steve is realxing
still, i think it was a good idea
Still a better love story than "Last Tango in Paris."
still better than last year in ottawa
stipple slash of saturn
Stop flexing in the mirror, you narcissist
Stop stalin and make up your mind
stork carrying a babby rabbit!
Strange ingredients for a grilled cheese sandwich, but the recipe did say 'epic'...
Strolling down the street, saw this. #uglybeauty
Stuck in a loaded canon. Again. FML!
Submarine-world promblems, amirite?
such bike. so sustainable! very carbon-negative.
such lambda
Sun deflation: optimal
sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows...
super high intensity training at NORAD
SUPPOrt this new alarm clock on kickergogo!
Sure, they taught a robot to sing, but can they teach it to love?
T-Rex in a snowfield #cretaceous #nofilter #cold
Taco bells give away resulted in unplanned consequences for downtown Houston.
tail recursion spotted in the wild!!
taken from earth orbit
take that atheists
take two, they are small
Talking to my fans...
Tamper-Proof
TANSTAAFL... Mostly
Target Found.
Teach a fis how to to man... wait?
Ted Cruz 20-Infinity
terminal velocity is a myth
Testing my new DIY nuclear power plant
Thanks!
Thanks Obama!
thank you for restoring my faith in the justice system
That'll teach them not to misspell my name at Starbucks
That's gonna hurt on the way out
That's just not very funny
that's me!
THAT'S NO MOON
That's not a chicken
That's not a nut!
THAT'S NUMBERWANG!
that's one nasty burn!
That's too much, man!
that's what she said... assuming I heard Her right. Can I come home now?
that awkward moment when you are staring at Barad-dûr for its architectural merits.
That awkward moment when you realise that the dragon that you've been gossiping about is standing right behind you.
That is, in fact, a squirrel.
That is one dapper bird.
That sweater is so 2013
That was one hell of a party last night.
That was the last time Spencer would drop a bowl of salad. "My work on antigravity begins now!" he proclaimed.
That was when things started to get a little weird.
The abyss stares longingly into my heart.
The Arecibo Observatory looked bigger in the movie #disappoint #bummer #bond
The basis for fast and furious 13.
The best brick joke possible.
The birds found the hobbit hole
The building blocks of life
The Captain Crunch Kraken
The cat brought in another bird.
the charge of the light brigade
The choice is simple.
The co-op and I have been trading our gently used teabags around. Discovering a lot of new flavors!
The dark helps me see in the carrots
the dark side of the moon, amirite?
the day of the fingernail clipping has dawned
The designers of this camera literally nailed it
The Dissolution of Parliament.
The doctor says it is colon cancer :(
the dog scanned my homework
The dress is black and white!
The electric dirk was a better dance move than a weapon
The ents met the triffids
the event horizon returned
The evolution of fun
The Excresence of Indifference (mixed media, 2015)
The feeling that somewhere, a duck is watching you
the first official thing i stole from my college roommates.
the floor is made of lava. send help.
The French space program
the game begins...
the game no please why do you haunt me the game i lost the game
The glow cloud (all hail) stopped by today.
The goats! They mutated! They are now airborne!
the hills have eyes
The HORROR!
The horrors of war
The illuminati embarrassed to admit that the "world" they control is only a h0 scale model
The infamous Snow-muon.
their love was doomed from the start...
Their vengeance was swift, but surprisingly subtle...
The knids are hungry
The last known picture of my dignity, as it reaches from below the waves
The last person to be surprised by a selfie
The last thing I heard was "I swear this will be fun"
The last thing you see before you die
the latest Werner Herzog is a masterpiece #thelamphasnofeelings #outofslatsoutofpier
The less you look at it, the funnier it gets.
The lifts never worked properly in the Volcano Lair
The Little Borg Prince
Thelma and louise was reaaaaaallll
the lotr movies had some subtle changes from the books
The magic smoke escaped :(
The metric system costs thousands of lives each year
The moon landing was a lie
The moon looks weird today
The Moon Will Eat What it will
The Mushroom war claimed most of us. MOST....
The new Doctor Who is quite the quack.
The newest Olympic sport
The new Kerbal Scientific mission is out!
the new usb feels like a step backward
The next generation of crypto currencies
The ninetys called, and I had to answer.
The normal distribution looks higher from the bottom...
the oceans are made of sky tears
the only people for me are the mad ones
The press conference lasted shorter than expected!
The Prodigy is in town!
The prophecy was true!
There's a 66% chance that the other door won't be broken.
There's an rfid tag in every slice of pepperoni.
There's a third bump, growing fast
The real reason for hillary's sudden data loss
The recursive algorithm produces this unique Fractal Image
There goes the neighborhood...
There is no curse in elvish, entish, or the tongues of men for this treachery.
there is none of this left in the men's room #help
There is no way you can back up that claim. And that's okay.
there snow such thing as global warming
the rest is darkness and decay
The Return to the escape from Skull Emerald Island IV: The Re-Escapening
The rook is getting closer. Help me.
the saddest moment of my childhood
These aren't my sandwiches
The second mouse gets the cheese
These cravings will never stop
The secret to infinite storage space
These hoof warmers are incredibly comfortable!
These two impress me every single day! #proudfather
The side of my car. #roadrage
The signal came from this sector
The soap bubble music experiment went rather well.
The solution to all life's problems
The spirit is strong, but the car is totaled.
The strangest thing subway ever gave me
the strategic air control has been exploring alternative revenue streams.
THe Tanzanian bargin was notoriously one sided and resulted in the bloodiest genocides in the history of man. #YOLO
The taste stays with you forever
The tea party was right about GMO bicycles
The time has come.
The top half of his face looked exactly like this, officer
The tyndall effect testing on the invisible man results (fig 5.)
the Uk space agency is making britain proud
The unforgiving war on health
The view outside of my airplane window.
The vlog was better than the movie
the way of the future
The weight of life in a starry landscape
the world isn't flat, it's a cube!
they're all dead, dave.
They're all watching me
They're watching us.
THEY added extra salami!! I told them i HAte salami!! they hate me!!! fml!!!!!
they dont need us anymore
they moved the headstones, but they didn't move the bodies
they said be careful, we said yolo
THEy said it was "futuristic" and "useful"
they said we couldn't play god
They scared the vampire by drawing a face on his mirror
They see me rolling, they hating
they told me carrots were good for eye health
The Zebra was lying down
Things Lost in couch cushions
this "one small step" will make you cry. you won't belive why. #moonselfie
This apple got a face on it dog
This caught my eye
This definitely wasn't in the Bible.
This diagram of the solar system is not to scale
this didn't last long.
This elevator has no 'down'!
This explains everything
This explains it all
this got me banned from chuck e. cheese's
This guy...
this guy keeps following me
this guy took a photo of his food every day for a year, you won't believe what happens next!
This is a cat
This is a good idea
This is exactly what you think it is
This is how we celebrate easter usually
This is how you get ants!
this is just a tribute #thed
This is just like my 5th birthday party.
THis is kinda philosophical if you think about it. If you don't think about it too much.
this is literally the hardest decision I've ever had to make.
This isn't where i parked my zeppelin!
This is no cave
This is not a camera, it's a washing machine!
this is not what i meant it to be
This is so awsome! Picture of the year! So glad that I got that new camera!!!!!
This is still what I had for breakfast
This is symbolic.
This is the crankiest potato I've ever seen.
this is the last time i go skiing @mammoth
this is the lowest budget version of "day of the Triffids" yet
This is the story of a boy. who sneezed a hurricane and disintegrated the whole world.
This is twitter, right? #confused
This is what happens when you don't listen to your parents
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU JOKE ABOUT HALF-LIFE 3.
This is what happiness looks like
This is what I do on friday evenings now
This is what i had for breakfast
This is why I'm not an EMT
This is why we can't have good things
This is worse than when the vending machine ate my change.
This just in: baby robot duck terrorises populace
THIS LOOKS SHOPPED. I CAN TELL FROM SOME OF THE PIXELS AND FROM SEEING QUITE A FEW SHOPS IN MY TIME.
This makes my dog twitch when it sleeps
This man must not realize that it is the whole building moving up and down, not the elevator.
This Military Dictator Thought He knew Everything...And then He Learned these 3 tips for losing weight!
This needs a motivational text
This new LP is on fire, yo! I love that warm vinyl sound.
This NSA intercept program is really getting out of hand.
this one's over 15 kt bitches!
This photo mooves me
This photo was taken from my basement
This photo was taken from my iphone
this plot is odd.
This squirrel really knows how to cook
This trebuchet is set to self-destruct!
this was in the bible
this was my inspiration
This wasn't a problem back in the usenet days
This was the most unkindest cut of all
this will make me a millionaire (patent pending)
This will make sense if you look at it upside down
those weren't Altoids.
Threaten large birds... check.
throwing epic shade!
Thus Ended Alexander the great's conquest
Tic Tac Toe, motherfucker
Time to reap the whirlwind!
tiny man with tiny hat found in upturned regular-sized hat
To avoid going bankrupt, Polaroid activates its subliminal message feature on old photographs to try to get more buyers,
today's to do list
Today i am a Chinese clock
Today was my pets elephant's birthday; He liked the ribbons best.
To get to the other tree and leaf!
To infinity and Birdyond!
Tom was feeling frisky, but i just laughed and took this pic! XD
Too many quixotes, not enough giants
Too much Acid. Got to sort life out.
too much lens flare?
too much right beef
Top of the world
TOTAL ECLIPSE OF MY RETINA.
To the victor go the spoils.
toto i don't think we're in camelot anymore.
Tower of Hanoi puzzles have gotten really weird.
Transmogrifier 2.01.5 prototype
Travel the length of these massive bison
Trebuchet-launched into a skyscraper...
Trees on a hill #nofilter
Trip to the Rockies #DUCKFACE #NOFILTER #NEVERSTOPEXPLORING
Triumph. Pure triumph.
True Self-Control
truly, i am euphoric
Trurl and Klapaucius at large again!
trying out apple's new gadget. expensive but it's worth it.
TRY{throw Baby;}Catch baby{Throwable cause = baby.getCause(); Throw cause;}
Turkey Drumstick Stonehenge was surprisingly compelling!
Turning into a crow was less upsetting than being unable to tweet about it!
turns out building a shrink ray was cheaper than genetically engineering giant carrots
Turns out my explosive frisbees are duds
Turns out the stars were pentagrams all along
Turns out the tiles at home depot aren't the good kind
two great tastes that go great together
Tycho and gabe stepped up their game
Tycoon Simulator 2015
Ugh, i'll never understand art.
uM, I THINK SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH MY CARROT...
Unfriendly comet eats latest probe
unhappy in space
unicycle beowulf cluster seeks riders
Universe man, Universe man...
Unzipped sock
USB SUX
Use the force responsibly.
using hollowed-out carrots to smuggle drugs across the border.
Using your phone camera is a neat workaround when you have lost your glasses
Vaccines cause super autism now unless you're vaccinated against it
van gogh's secret masterpiece uncovered in french family's basement
Vegans gonna hate
Vegetable-flavored meat, that's how they'll get us!
vegeta? vegeta? vegeta? aaaaaaaaaagggghhh!!! I'm back, and now i'm a ghost.
Visited mom today
Visual representation of Dubstep
void main() { fork; }
Wait, am I 30 years too late for Normandy?
Wait, what does ⨍(𝕎) represent again?
Wait, you can see that too
Wait ... what? I don't even...
Wait a minute. We put the helium in the pool, or the balloon?
Wait for it...
waiting for the toilet for 2 hours? sucker yolo
Waiting on hold with the insurance company
Wake up, sheeple.
wake up sheeple!
Wake up sheeple!! the rich are stockpiling candles. This is our future!!!!
walked in on my roommate being terrifying
Wanted for murder. If found, contact the police immediately.
Warning, cadbury eggs should be consumed in moderation, even if supplied for free by air
WARRRBLGARBL
watching dune on shrooms
watch me become the next favorite kardashian
Watch me develop an entirely useless skill #butitsfun
Watch out for the squirrely wrath!
Waynes World, Waynes world!!!
we'll take the next one #CasualRacism
We've given up trying to justify this.
We've got a problem
we appear to have exhausted the low-hanging scientific fruit
We are not men. we are devo.
Weather's Crazy today
We can't do it, the moon is in the way
We claim this iceberg for the Motherland
We didn't start the fire
we do these things not because they are easy, but because they are hard
Weeeee!!!
we had to get creative when the bentley didn't show
We have crafted the galaxy's finest pasta bowl
we have the technology.
Weird trick to losing belly fat and parts of face
welcome to Argentina
Welcome to carrot facts. Did you know Carrots can improve your vision?
welcome to the internet
welcome to the space jam
We live in a golden age!
Well, I guess than answers the age-old question!
Well, Mr. Bond, we meat again
Well, now this is a thing.
well, so much for the space program
well, the keys are definitely lost....
Well, this is a puzzling development.
well, this really puts things in perspective.
Well, you can't fix what isn't broken.
We made some simplifying assumptions before designing the plate tectonics code.
WENT ALL ZELDA ON THIS CRACKED WALL! #YOLO
We pointed the Hubble into another supposedly empty patch of sky.
we sail the ocean orange
We told iran that atomic energy is unsafe
WHAAAAAAaAT?!?!?!?
Whale Selfie!
What's this thing here in the bathroom?
What, Me worry?
What a beautiful time to be alive!
what a bummer
WHAT A MISUNDERSTANDING!
What are pixels?
What are you, a dictionary?
What could go wrong?
What could possibly go wrong™?
What do you mean, don't talk about fight club? That's just stupid.
What do you mean it wasn't set to radians?
What do you see? I see a cat!
whatever you do, don't make eye contact with it
what happens when you take a selfie with a 500mm lens
What has science done?!
What have facebook been doing with my data? #Whatisgoingon
what if it's a ghost pepper?
What if jellyfish could combine, like voltron?
What in the hell was I thinking ?
What is your Pony Personality?
What? It's always that color.
what to have for breakfast?
When everything looks like a hammer
When I grow up I am *so* getting out of here
When in doubt, just blow on it!
When pandas have nightmares
WhEN THE INTERNET OF THINGS MADE MICROWAVES SENTIENT, THEY DISCOVERED THAT FROZEN BURRITOS WERE EVERY BIT AS DELICIOUS AS THEY'D ALWAYS HOPED.
When you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes back
When you get a perfect score on your test
when you give a chicken hgh, weird things happen.
when you see it...
Where are the three sea shells?
Where did THAT come from?
Where did this road come from?!?
where do all the cheetos go
Where do I plug this in?
where should i put this cool new tatto?
where the streets have no untagged unconnected nodes
where to buy spanish ham ?
which end is the head of a chocolate cornet?
whiskers expecting a new friend :)
WHO'S THAT POKEMON?
Who came first?
who do you think I am?
Who Made all these Don quixote clones?
whoops GPS error
Whoops I left the Lens Cap on for this one. :S
Who put import superman in the python configuration script?
Who said an antique car wouldn't work on the moon?
who sent me a bobcat?
Who stepped on my pop tart?
Who the fck deleted development branch?!?!
Who the shit left the fertilizer out in the open? Now we have to deal with this!
why are my eyebrows purple and who stole my hat?!
Why are there ants on my face?!
Why did it have to end this Way?
Why did the cypress cross the road?
Why do dogs like this?
Why does a tree cross the road? To destroy mankind, obviously.
Why doesn't congress want these legalized?
Why don't chimpanzees have beards?
Why do people do this?
Why do we call it "behedding" and not "bebodying"?
why do we want to go to space if we're already in space
Why potato why?
Why?
Why should squirrel learn baseball
WHY WHY WHY #WHY
with google iris, see the inside of your eyelids like never before
WOMAN on ground, Abstract, digital, 2015~ $19E6
Woops, miscounted. sorry.
wORRIED ABOUT V2 ROCKETS
worst horse ever :(
Worst pokemon ever
worst transformers generation ever. bring back gen 1.
Worth it for the karma.
would you choose the microwave over this?
Would you like to play a game?
Wow, did you see that??!!
Wow, I didn't expect that spell to work. #Sorrydude
Wow. Just, Wow.
wow signal deciphered: they want #53 with extra soy sauce.
wrangled my first ufo! YEEHAAH!!
WTF!?
wwmd: what would mcgyver do?
Yeah... never gonna happen
Yeah I just like to make my martinis properly, ok?
YES
Yes, I followed the instructions!
yo anybody seen my dog, responds to "sauron"
You'd think it was a tuesday, but it was not.
you'll NEVER belive what kind of planet those scientists found
You'll never guess what happens next...
You are not a good person
you cannot lift a mountain, but if the mountain sustens itself just on top OF you, do you lift it ? #think
you didn't have to come if you were just going to complain the whole time.
You did what in my tuba?
YOU JUST GOT RICKROLLED.
you know, for kids
you know what they say about guys with big feet
You must be new here.
Your conspiracy theories are dumb.
Your free pony is on the way. Sorry for any inconvenience.
You want to know how i got these scars?
YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT THE CLOVERFIELD MONSTER ACTUALLY LOOKED LIKE! CLICK TO SEE IT AND 10 OTHER FAMOUS MOVIE CHARACTERS YOU NEVER SAW ON SCREEN!
Zeus takes his revenge
Zoidgebra 101
[Metal Gear sound effect]
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[user was banned for this text]
ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ ก้้้้้้้้้้้
“Uh, hey, baby.” “Damn we’re smooth.” “We’re gonna score”
┬──┬◡ﾉ(° -°ﾉ)
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