388: Fuck Grapefruit

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Fuck Grapefruit
Coconuts are so far down to the left they couldn't be fit on the chart. Ever spent half an hour trying to open a coconut with a rock? Fuck coconuts.
Title text: Coconuts are so far down to the left they couldn't be fit on the chart. Ever spent half an hour trying to open a coconut with a rock? Fuck coconuts.

[edit] Explanation

This comic consists of a chart where Randall has plotted fruits according to two criteria: ease/difficulty to eat on the horizontal axis, and tastiness on the vertical axis. The Y-axis goes from "tasty" at the top, to "untasty" at the bottom. The X-axis goes from "easy" on the right to "difficult" on the left.

For instance, pineapples are deemed fairly tasty but very difficult to eat, whereas (seeded) grapes are very tasty and somewhat easy, and logically seedless grapes are roughly equally tasty but easier to eat.

Obviously being easy to eat is preferable to being difficult, and being tasty is preferable to being untasty, so the "best" fruits (regarding these two aspects only) are in the top-right corner, and the worst in the bottom-left; additionally, in the top-left corner are the "difficult-but-worthy" fruits, and in the bottom-right one, the "not-so-tasty-but-easy-anyway" ones.

The individual ratings of each fruit are subjective; very obviously in the case of tastiness, and more subtly for difficulty. Randall does not explain his criteria for ranking the difficulty of each fruit, and it is likely based on simply personal experiences. Someone who has grown up in an area where pinapples are plentiful is likely to be more adept at skillfully preparing them. The discrepancies between how Randall has rated certain fruits and how others believe they should have been rated caused a surprising level of controversy.

[edit] Table

The table below lists approximate coordinates for each fruit using a scale of -100% (untasty/difficult) to 100% (tasty/easy). The coordinates are based on the included fruits, any new items added outside the current range (e.g. Coconuts) would cause the scales to be reassigned, and thus change the coordinate values of existing items.

The coordinated have been found by measuring each fruit from the center of the drawing (not center of mass, but center from left to right/top to bottom) to the two axes. The axes are hand drawn which is clearly visible. The numbers have been obtained be measuring to the nearest point of each axis, not taking into account that the axes are not perfect straight perpendicular lines.

Tastiness Easiness Fruit Comments
100% 68% Peaches Among Randall's favorite fruits, as it is the one deemed most tasty and it is far more tasty than the four fruits that are deemed easier to eat.
85% 13% Seeded grapes It is unclear why seeded grapes are shown as tastier.
75% 75% Strawberries Actually not a berry but an accessory fruit, like many of the other fruits on the chart
72% 100% Seedless grapes It is unclear why seeded grapes are shown as tastier.
68% -100% Pineapples Requires a knife to prepare, and can be tricky to dissect without wasting a lot of of the fruit.
58% 87% Blueberries
38% 42% Cherries Containing a stone/pit which may be annoying due to disposal of the sticky remains and taking care not to swallow them.
37% 66% Pears
22% 79% Green apples
17% 59% Plums
15% -20% Watermelons Surprisingly considered by Randall to be easier than oranges, which are fairly easy to peel. A watermelon is larger, so the effort to reward ratio is better, but this should't affect its 'ease of eating' position.
-12% 79% Red apples
-18% 16% Bananas Shown in the chart as difficult to eat, even though they are among the most easily peelable fruit. This could be because of the skin which must be disposed of, or the stringy pith which some people refuse to eat and thus have to pick off.
-20% -85% Pomegranates Pomegranates have a very large number of nonedible seeds.
-46% -49% Oranges Considered more difficult than lemons, perhaps due to the layer of pith which is rarely encountered when preparing lemons.
-74% 26% Tomatoes Often claimed to be a vegetable. In the botanical sense however, it is actually a fruit (or a berry).
-86% -75% Grapefruit According to the chart, the third hardest fruit to eat as well as the second most untasty fruit (from the ones listed at least). Eating one of them is like spending too much of one's time and energy without much reward. Hence Randall's quip in the title: "Fuck grapefruit".
-100% -15% Lemons Considered easier than oranges, perhaps due to the layer of pith which is rarely encountered when preparing lemons.
<-100% <-100% Coconuts Mentioned only in the title text. As Randall puts it, they are far more difficult to eat (especially to open) than the usual mainstream fruits such as the ones plotted here, and once open Randall doesn't even like the taste. Therefore, they could not even fit on the chart because they are too far in the bottom-left corner. Having spent half an hour trying (in vain?) to open a coconut, Randall has superseded the previous "worst fruit" in the title: "Fuck coconuts".

Although it has "nut" in its name, the coconut is actually a stone fruit and thus belongs on a chart of fruit.

[edit] Controversy

As evident from the above section, and according to FRUIT OPINIONS! on the Blag, this was the most controversial comic written to this point, beating out comics about cunnilingus, the Obama endorsement, and my making 4chan tiny on the map of the internet.

[edit] Transcript

[An X-Y plot of fruit where both axes have arrows in both ends. At the end of each arrow is a label.]
[The X-axis from left to right:]
[The Y-axis from top to bottom:]
[The fruit names are listed here below from top to bottom according to the how tasty the fruit is, not necessarily in the same order that the names are written if one fruit is tall/large and the other low:]
Seeded grapes
Seedless grapes
Green apples
Red apples

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Why are seeded grapes deemed more tasty than seedless grapes? Them seeds taste awful and bitter when you accidentally bite into them. Davidy22 (talk) 12:22, 14 October 2012 (UTC)

  • Yeah! And red apples are clearly more tasty than green (unless you're using them for cooking), and bananas are the tastiest fruit ever! In other words, it's all subjective. (You might argue that the seeds add to the flavour, much like a small amout of fat in meat; obviously the fact that they're less easy implies pulling all the seeds out first to make sure you don't bite one.) 10:34, 28 November 2012 (UTC)
  • Seedless grapes (and seedless versions of other fruits) are often considered to be slightly less tasty than their seeded counterparts because a compromise was made: putting all efforts toward being tasty and easy to grow, versus dividing the effort between those and making them seedless. Additionally, some seedless fruits (including certain brands or breeds) are simply less mature versions of their seedless equivalent (this is part of why some bunches of seedless grapes have seeds in many of the fruits, albeit smaller and/or fewer seeds than the seeded equivalent). It's also possible that the y-axis difference between the two was unintentional, but there's enough of a difference that I'm strongly in favor of interpreting it as intentional. JET73L (talk) 17:34, 8 February 2013 (UTC)

I disagree with the placement of bananas and pears. They are both really easy and reasonably tasty (although taste is a matter of personal preference). 21:54, 11 March 2013 (UTC)

  • Problem is, pomegranates burn calories instead of adding to them. Unless you get pre-picked. There should be a third axis, but alas, with a webcomic, it is not possible. (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Fyi to open a coconut, do not smash a rock against the coconut, smash the coconut against the rock! 14:30, 26 July 2013 (UTC)

A rock? Is this a deserted island scenario you're describing? Most households have something called a hammer. Tharkon (talk) 03:24, 23 November 2013 (UTC)
A hammer? Is this a woodwork shed scenario? ;) A professional coconut opener uses one or two strokes from the blunt side of a machete on the equator of the coconut. I still agree with Randall on the difficulty, though. More specialized equipment is neeeded to separate the copra. And it's not tasty either.Mumiemonstret (talk) 09:05, 17 June 2014 (UTC)

Is there a program do make charts looking like these? With the little pictures in the chart. RecentlyChanged (talk) 13:26, 26 November 2013 (UTC)

Yes. The program is called "Paper and Pencil; and something to color them."SarcasticMoe (talk) 25:61, 26 November 2013 (UTC)

The transcript needs fixing. It is currently inaccurate in places, like, for example, strawberries in the comic are placed below seeded grapes on the tastiness axis, but the transcript says that strawberries are tastier than seeded grapes. Also, the transcript is missing seedless grapes. 03:48, 23 December 2013 (UTC)

I have changed the transcrip so that the explanation part is removed. And this part I have now added as a table and in this corrected the numbers so strawberries and grapes are in the correct order etc. At the same time I made many other corrections and improvements for the entire explanation. --Kynde (talk) 10:22, 12 January 2015 (UTC)

While I disagree with the rating in tastyness... Then it is true that bananas is more difficult to start eating than fruit without peel - like pears. However, bananas are very easy to peel! And you do not get sticky as with a fresh pear. I thus think it is easier to eat bananas than pears because of that.Kynde (talk) 07:30, 29 March 2014 (UTC)

It's all subjective anyway. I, for example consider bananas to be more tasty than pears. Tharkon (talk) 20:09, 8 August 2014 (UTC)
The problem with bananas which adds to their difficulty is that you have a rather large peel. You can't get away with just tossing your peel anywhere, too. Someone might slip on them. 19:58, 7 January 2015 (UTC)
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