562: Parking

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Parking
Police reported three dozen cheerful bystanders, yet no one claims to have seen who did it.
Title text: Police reported three dozen cheerful bystanders, yet no one claims to have seen who did it.

[edit] Explanation

There are few things so annoying as finding, when a parking lot is full, that someone has parked so carelessly as to take up two spaces. Even worse, it may have been intentional; they decided to exchange the risk of someone accidentally scratching their car for the risk of someone doing it on purpose. However, there are also non-violent ways to tackle the problem; politely leave a note, or (if possible) just move their car. Of course, Black Hat takes the less-traveled path, apparently involving a cutting torch and what looks to be a circular saw. The offending portion of the parked car is sliced off (entirely without surgical precision) and neatly slotted into the remainder of the space. It is now legally parked, but is possibly no longer a vehicle.

Admittedly, he's done this kind of thing before.

The title text indicates that a small crowd watched Black Hat at work but refused to identify him, presumably because they feel that the car owner got what he deserved. It may also be that, after seeing Black Hat at work, they did not wish to incur his wrath.

[edit] Transcript

[Black Hat is in a car driving around a parking lot.]
[Black Hat's car pulls up next to a red car, that's parked over a line at an angle that block two spaces.]
[Black Hat gets out of his car.]
SLAM
[Black Hat is now holding a blow torch and a rotary saw, He's also wearing goggles and fuel tanks on his back. The blow torch is lit.]
Fwoosh
[The badly parked car has been cut in half along a diagonal, and the half of the car that was in the second slot has been moved into the same slot as the rest of the car. Black Hat's car occupies the newly freed space.]
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Discussion

Still waiting (read: hoping) to see a story about this in real life. Complete with the cheerful-but-circumspect bystanders. 173.245.54.11 18:16, 5 November 2013 (UTC)

There has been a russian mayor using a tank to crush illegally parked car. It is not the same thing, but close. 108.162.229.35 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

I like how Black Hat has seemingly tried to respect the parker's wishes by retaining the apparently desired angle of the (pieces of his) car to the kerb.

I don't think the bystanders were wary of possible revenge from Black Hat. They were cheerful, not fearful. 108.162.219.223 23:53, 23 December 2013 (UTC)
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