830: Genetic Analysis

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
Jump to: navigation, search
Genetic Analysis
There's still a chance you were conceived via IVF. But we've checked your mom's college yearbook photos, and whether or not she and your father had sex, it's clear that... listen, I know this is hard for you.
Title text: There's still a chance you were conceived via IVF. But we've checked your mom's college yearbook photos, and whether or not she and your father had sex, it's clear that... listen, I know this is hard for you.

Explanation[edit]

Genetic testing is a medical procedure where researchers analyze your DNA and family history to determine if you have elevated risk factors for diseases such as heart conditions and cancer. Here, the doctor appears to be delivering the results of Cueball's genetic test but instead tells him that his parents had sex at some point.

People generally don't like thinking about their parents having sex, but it obviously happened, since having sex is usually the precondition for having children,[citation needed] so this test result is completely unsurprising. If the doctor only came to this conclusion after analyzing genes on several of Cueball's chromosomes, this could have been done in order to verify that Cueball's DNA indeed resembles the DNA of his supposed parents i.e., that the people whom he has always viewed as his parents are indeed his genetic parents. However, the alternative might be even more disturbing.

The title text notes that he could be an in-vitro fertilization baby, which does not require the parents to directly have sex. However, it seems to suggest that Cueball's mother was very attractive in her college years (or that she was pregnant). Thus, Cueball's mother probably did have sex (regardless of whether or not it was with Cueball's father). This is a reference to the stereotype that college students engage in large amounts of sex.

Transcript[edit]

Cueball: Did my genetic tests come back?
Megan: Yeah. Sit down.
Cueball: Is it bad news? What are my risk factors?
[Cueball is now sitting in the chair awaiting her answer. Megan looks down at the clipboard.]
Megan: We can't be sure about this, but we've analyzed genes on several of your chromosomes and it's hard to avoid the conclusion:
[Megan puts down the clipboard and looks at Cueball as she delivers her news. Cueball puts his hands to his face in dismay.]
Megan: At some point, your parents had sex.
Cueball: Oh God!
Megan: Stay calm! It's possible it was just once!
Cueball: I... I need to be alone.


comment.png add a comment! ⋅ comment.png add a topic (use sparingly)! ⋅ Icons-mini-action refresh blue.gif refresh comments!

Discussion

I guess it's what they say. Sex is genetic. If your parents never had it, you probably won't either. :) TheMightyGunns (talk) 23:37, 21 May 2014 (UTC)

The title text may imply that his mother was pregnant in college, rather than being attractive. 162.158.155.26 15:03, 19 February 2018 (UTC)

Makes sense. Added. Beanie (talk) 13:55, 26 April 2021 (UTC)
Or potentially referencing suggestive comments left in her yearbook (perhaps she was "popular"). L-Space Traveler (talk) 20:47, 4 November 2022 (UTC)