886: Craigslist Apartments

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Craigslist Apartments
$1600 / 1386153BR 3BATH, MODERN SLIDING DOORS, GUEST ROOMS, GARBAGE DISPOSAL. FREE MANDATORY PARKING (ENFORCED). CONVENIENT TO ALDERAAN.
Title text: $1600 / 1386153BR 3BATH, MODERN SLIDING DOORS, GUEST ROOMS, GARBAGE DISPOSAL. FREE MANDATORY PARKING (ENFORCED). CONVENIENT TO ALDERAAN.

[edit] Explanation

This is a comic about the potential pitfalls in finding an apartment on Craigslist. Just as in Craigslist, some of the posts are re-posted several times. Additionally, lots of posts use lots of tildes, exclamation points or asterisks as above to set their posts apart from others.

BR means bedroom, e.g. 3BR means that apartment has 3 bedrooms (common measurement of apartment size).

  • $1600 / 2BR ~~~ Hardwood floors, utilities included. Cats OK, limit one per square foot.
This ad is aimed at "crazy cat ladies/bachelors" who compulsively keep a number of animals much greater than is appropriate to the living space.
  • $1100 / **** GREAT DEAL SQUARE HOUSE DOOR IN FRONT!!! ****
This is the first repetition of an entry that appears multiple times. It is also extremely generic, telling the reader little useful about the house. The square house might be a garage, or just a regular square house. Beside that, most houses have a door in front, there's nothing special about a door.
  • $2300 / 3BR !!!!!!!! Elegant apartment permanently lit by strobe light!!!! No floor.
A strobe light is a very bright light that, instead of remaining on, flashes very quickly. It's frequently used in parties. A constant strobe light and the stated lack of a floor would probably make indeed living in the apartment somewhat difficult.
  • $980 / 1BR New "hammock"-style dwelling. Water and heat free from same dispenser. Viking landlord.
This is a post to live as an oarsman on a Viking ship. The water and heat presumably both come from the sky, in the form of rain and sunlight.
  • $1550 / 2BR (one inside the other). Has running water, in a sense. Free heat in short, intense bursts. Klein stairs.
This is a completely alien landscape, meant to be unimaginable and maddening. Possibly this represents some "other universe" or an extraterrestrial living space. Clearly this is unlivable, for humans at least. Short instance bursts of heat disturb if not kill. Stairs that do not have a clear top or bottom and rooms that can be seen as inside of each other would be confusing and impractical if not impossible to navigate. Water that runs in a sense is disturbingly vague.
  • $3200 / 1BR W/trimmed carpet and pert fixtures. Previous tenants clean. Call now, want you inside. $120/night (no animals)
This is a disguised "adult services" (sex) posting, with references to trimmed pubic hair, an attractive body, and a lack of STDs. Craigslist no longer allows posts for this, because prostitution is illegal in most places in the US. This post tries to evade the adult services ban by pretending to be something else.
  • $2100 / 3BR on scenic Ash Tree Lane. Builder unknown; house has always existed. Walls shift; center of house may contain minotaur.
This Minotaur house is an ad for the house in the novel House of Leaves.
  • $600 / 5BR Three floors w/pool, rooftop garden, beautiful glass facade, no catch, 5-min drive to historic Pripyat.
This is an add for a residence in the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant, located near to the town of Pripyat, in northern Ukraine. The NPP is a 3-level structure, and contains a pool for temporary spent nuclear fuel storage. The rooftop now has plants growing on it after years of neglect, and the glass facade references radioactive glassy minerals created by the explosion.
  • $7100 / 60BR Sleek modern w/extreme running water. Previous tenants may resist entry. Contains all new wiring and is a submarine.
This house is a submarine, as indicated by the advertisement, presumably operated by a navy. The "previous tenants", being members of the armed forces, would undoubtedly resist entry of someone attempting to board their submarine. The sixty bedrooms refers to the crew members' bunks on board the ship, which are in extremely tight quarters and can be very uncomfortable. This may also be a reference to 496: Secretary: Part 3, which makes reference to Black Hat stealing a submarine - apparently this is him trying to get rid of it.
  • $1616 / 3BR + 2Bath, tub full of blood. Closet full of board games which play themselves. Pets OK but won't survive long.
This is an add for a house in a generic horror movie.

The title text ($1600 / 1386153BR 3bath, modern sliding doors, guest rooms, garbage disposal. Free mandatory parking (enforced). Convenient to Alderaan.) is a reference to the Death Star in Star Wars. Alderaan is the home planet of Princess Leia, which was obliterated by the Death Star. Mandatory parking references the tractor beams used to drag nearby ships (such as the Millennium Falcon) into the base. The garbage disposal refers to an iconic scene from Star Wars aboard the Death Star involving a garbage disposal. It seems somewhat inconvenient that this "apartment" has over a million bedrooms but only three bathrooms.

[edit] Transcript

[The comic is a single panel, presented as an apartment search.]
[Title bar.]
All apartments
Search for: [_______] in: All apartments ( ) Title only (*) Entire post Search
Rent: [Min] [Max] 0+ BR [ ] Cats [ ] Dogs [ ] Has image
[Date bar.]
Fri Apr 15
[Begin the apartment listings.]
$1600 / 2BR ~~~ Hardwood floors, utilities included. Cats ok, limit one per square foot.
$1100 / **** GREAT DEAL SQUARE HOUSE DOOR IN FRONT!!! ****
$2300 / 3BR !!!!!!!! Elegant apartment permanently lit by strobe light!!!! No floor.
$1100 / **** GREAT DEAL SQUARE HOUSE DOOR IN FRONT!!! ****
$980 / 1BR New "hammock"-style dwelling. Water and heat free from same dispenser. Viking landlord.
$1550 / 2BR (one inside the other). Has running water, in a sense. Free heat in short, intense bursts. Klein stairs.
$1100 / **** GREAT DEAL SQUARE HOUSE DOOR IN FRONT!!! ****
$1100 / **** GREAT DEAL SQUARE HOUSE DOOR IN FRONT!!! ****
$3200 / 1BR W/trimmed carpet and pert fixtures. Previous tenants clean. Call now, want you inside. $120/night (no animals)
$2100 / 3BR on scenic Ash Tree Lane. Builder unknown; house has always existed. Walls shift; center of house may contain minotaur.
$1100 / **** GREAT DEAL SQUARE HOUSE DOOR IN FRONT!!! ****
$600 / 5BR Three floors w/pool, rooftop garden, beautiful glass facade, no catch, 5-min drive to historic Pripyat.
$7100 / 60BR Sleek modern w/extreme running water. Previous tenants may resist entry. Contains all new wiring and is a submarine.
$1616 / 3BR + 2Bath, tub full of blood. Closet full of board games which play themselves. Pets ok but won't survive long.
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Discussion

The house with a house inside may be a reference to the tesseracted, 4D house from Robert Heinlein's "-And He Built A Crooked House." ‎173.225.52.131 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)


I would have thought the klein stairs with the intense heat in short bursts may be a reference to a research fusion reactor. 'Net searches seem to suggest there may be connections between plasma behaviour and klein bottle mathematics. 108.162.250.5 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

The Minotaur sounds like a reference to Doctor Who The God Complex. 173.245.52.201 05:05, 1 December 2013 (UTC)

The closet full of board games which play themselves could be a reference to the movie Jumanji. Can't remember a tub full of blood from that movie, though, however surely pets won't survive long. 173.245.53.180 21:13, 12 December 2013 (UTC)

I explained the third one, but I have no idea about the lack of floor. Because of this and others, I added an 'Incomplete' tag with the appropriate reason. 108.162.212.206 03:32, 17 January 2014 (UTC)

I believe that the "616" "$1616" is a reference to the number of the beast. 173.245.54.90 18:53, 10 March 2014 (UTC)

The number of the beast is 666. Not 616. NealCruco (talk) 01:54, 18 April 2014 (UTC)
It sounds like you must have some good information to make that statement so plainly - maybe you should correct the appropriate section on Wikipedia (Number_of_the_beast#616) and add your references/citations. It would seem several sources (including the oldest known "version" of the text) indicates '616' as a "variant" Brettpeirce (talk) 12:59, 18 April 2014 (UTC)

I motion to close/complete this one. 199.27.128.65 17:57, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

Regarding the house near Pripyat explanation, "the glass facade references radioactive glassy minerals created by the explosion" seems to be conflating the Corium produced at Chernobyl with the Trinitite produced by nuclear explosion at Alamogordo. There was a steam explosion at Chernobyl, but the Corium was produced by the heat of the subsequent meltdown, not by the force of the explosion. The current explanation also includes, "It may also be the nuclear facility itself, depending on interpretation; ...". It seems clear to me that the apartment for rent is the nuclear facility itself, and not some house in Pripyat, which is "5-min drive" away; why else the "Three floors w/pool, rooftop garden, beautiful glass facade". -- 108.162.219.43 12:03, 18 April 2014 (UTC)

Agreed. I have edited to reflect the same, and have also noted the likelihood that the "pool" referenced is probably temporary containment for spent nuclear fuel. Not so sure about the "3-level" thing, though. My knowledge of nuclear power plant design is extremely limited. Orazor (talk) 12:20, 22 July 2014 (UTC)

Any idea what 1386153 means? Lucas often 'hid' 1138 everywhere, so could this be part of it? Other thoughts:

Fluffy Buzzard (talk) 15:26, 18 April 2014 (UTC)
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