Title text: Every age: "I'm glad I'm not the clueless person I was five years ago, but now I don't want to get any older."
| This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: Explain is wrong at some parts, and sometimes it's just repeating the transcript. Pleistocene doesn't really match the graph. Every age section should have a much deeper explain.|
If you can address this issue, please edit the page! Thanks.
This is a graph of the general themes that occur between the ages covered by each individual set of brackets. The layout is a parody of larger timescales of human or geologic history, e.g. "Iron Age" or "Pleistocene".
The "ages" identified and experiences typical at that age:
- "0-3" - babies/toddlers are not self-sufficient and not intelligently communicative.
- "4-12" - children learn language and everything they see and learn is new and interesting.
- "13-17" - teenagers tend to rebel against authority figures (parents, teachers, etc.) thinking they now "know best."
- "18-22" - young adults first foray into the freedom of the world (aka. college) often results in parties/drinking.
- "23-30" - first "adult" relationships beyond school "dating."
- "31-42" - real world job stress, beginning families.
- "43-54" - parental experience of a teenager of their own.
- "55-75+" - "empty nest" phase with no children, onset of retirement, fewer responsibilities and copious free-time.
The title text is a joke about the short-sightedness of many people in believing their current age to be ideal.
- A number line labeled "age." The start point is 0, with points labeled 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, and 70, and the line continues past the width of the panel. There are interstitial, non-labeled points. Above the line are labeled brackets. They are (approximated):
- 0-3: [Non-sentient]
- 4-12: "Everything is exciting!"
- 13-17: "Everything sucks!"
- 18-22: "Woooo college! Wooooo—" [vomit]
- 23-30: "Relationships are hard!
- 31-42: "So are careers!"
- 43-54: "No daughter of mine is going out dressed like that!"
- 55-75+: [More sex than anyone is comfortable admitting]