Editing 1052: Every Major's Terrible
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==Explanation== | ==Explanation== | ||
− | [[Randall]] has written a song called ''Every Major's Terrible'' and this comic illustrates the song. In this song the term {{w|Major (academic)|Major}} refers to the US version of an academic major. | + | [[Randall]] has written a song called ''Every Major's Terrible'' and this comic illustrates the song. In this song the term {{w|Major (academic)|Major}} refers to the US version of an academic major. And the point of the song is that it makes no sense to pick any major since they are all terrible! |
− | The header notes that the song is written to the tune of the satirical {{w|Major-General's Song}} from {{w|Gilbert and Sullivan's}} 1879 comic opera ''{{w|The Pirates of Penzance}}''. The song satirizes the idea of the "modern" educated British Army officer of the latter 19th century. {{w|Major general}} is a military rank in | + | The header notes that the song is written to the tune of the satirical {{w|Major-General's Song}} from {{w|Gilbert and Sullivan's}} 1879 comic opera ''{{w|The Pirates of Penzance}}''. The song satirizes the idea of the "modern" educated British Army officer of the latter 19th century. {{w|Major general}} is a military rank in Britain and many other countries. (See here a YouTube video of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSGWoXDFM64" I Am the Very Model of A Modern Major's General"] to get the tune). |
− | The panels show Randall's rewritten lyrics to the song. Below each of the three | + | The panels show Randall's rewritten lyrics to the song. Below each of the three [[#Verse 1|verses]] are described in detail. Each verse ends with "Just put me down as 'Undecided' - Every Major's Terrible", which gives the song its name — and "Major's Terrible" is similar enough to "Major General", the corresponding lyrics in the original version, to serve as a callback. The last line of the first verse in each song goes as follows: |
*Original: I am the very model of a modern Major-General | *Original: I am the very model of a modern Major-General | ||
− | *Randall's: Just put me down as undecided | + | *Randall's: Just put me down as undecided every major's terrible |
The lyrics are commonly rewritten, the most famous rewrite likely being {{w|The Elements (song)}} by {{w|Tom Lehrer}} which is also mentioned below the main header. This song is also [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcS3NOQnsQM available on-line]. | The lyrics are commonly rewritten, the most famous rewrite likely being {{w|The Elements (song)}} by {{w|Tom Lehrer}} which is also mentioned below the main header. This song is also [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcS3NOQnsQM available on-line]. | ||
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Regarding the title text: "Undeclared" is sometimes called "General Studies". Most U.S. universities will not let you get a degree in this, let alone an advanced degree such as a {{w|Ph.D.}} Also, it should probably be noted that this song refers to U.S.-like university systems, in other countries, one will study little to nothing outside your major, making it more-or-less impossible to be undecided as to major. | Regarding the title text: "Undeclared" is sometimes called "General Studies". Most U.S. universities will not let you get a degree in this, let alone an advanced degree such as a {{w|Ph.D.}} Also, it should probably be noted that this song refers to U.S.-like university systems, in other countries, one will study little to nothing outside your major, making it more-or-less impossible to be undecided as to major. | ||
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===Verse 1=== | ===Verse 1=== | ||
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;Panel 3, ''A business major's just a thing you get so you can graduate'': {{w|Business education|Business}} is the most common major, often seen as a practical choice applicable to a wide variety of careers, or, as the comic illustrates, preferred by those who just want an easy way to graduate. Cueball gets his diploma and runs away from the dean on the podium while shedding both his robe and his {{w|square academic cap}} (or Mortarboard). | ;Panel 3, ''A business major's just a thing you get so you can graduate'': {{w|Business education|Business}} is the most common major, often seen as a practical choice applicable to a wide variety of careers, or, as the comic illustrates, preferred by those who just want an easy way to graduate. Cueball gets his diploma and runs away from the dean on the podium while shedding both his robe and his {{w|square academic cap}} (or Mortarboard). | ||
− | ;Panel 4, ''And chemistry's for stamp collectors high on methylacetate.'': Stamp collecting refers to the [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ernest_Rutherford famous quote] by {{w|Ernest Rutherford}}, "All science is either physics or stamp collecting." {{w|Methyl acetate}} is a solvent that for instance can be used to remove stamps from their envelope (although water will do the same). The stamps in the background form the {{W|periodic table}} of the chemical elements. And since {{w|chemistry}} is not | + | ;Panel 4, ''And chemistry's for stamp collectors high on methylacetate.'': Stamp collecting refers to the [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ernest_Rutherford famous quote] by {{w|Ernest Rutherford}}, "All science is either physics or stamp collecting." {{w|Methyl acetate}} is a solvent that for instance can be used to remove stamps from their envelope (although water will do the same). The stamps in the background form the {{W|periodic table}} of the chemical elements. And since {{w|chemistry}} is not science, according to the quote, {{w|chemists}} must be stamp collectors (as, the high on methylacetate, [[Ponytail]] wearing goggles and holding an {{w|Erlenmeyer flask}}). |
− | ;Panels 5 | + | ;Panels 5, ''Why anyone who wants a job would study lit's a mystery'' |
+ | ;Panels 6, ''Unless their only other choice were something like art history.'': These lines, both sung by Cueball, refer to subjects where a majority of graduates will end up unemployed or eventually working in a field outside their majors. Topics such as {{w|Literature}} or {{w|Art History}} are often and historically said to be in this category — although from [http://www.studentsreview.com/unemployment_by_major.php3?sort=Rate actual statistics], it is clear that there are far worse majors these days. | ||
− | ;Panels 7 | + | ;Panels 7, ''A BA in communications guarantees that you'll achieve'' |
+ | ;Panels 8, ''A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave'': Here Cueball first has a major in {{w|Communication studies|Communications}} and next he is seen underwater with a basket. {{w|Underwater basket weaving}} is a commonly used metaphor for any college major that is easy or worthless. "Communications" is a major chosen by people interested in news broadcasting or other media. For why that might be criticized see [http://badpr.co.uk/ Bad PR]. Note that, if following the original music exactly, the line "A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave." will be repeated three times by the chorus after these panels. | ||
− | ;Panel 9, ''I'd rather eat a Fowler's toad than major in biology,'': We see Cueball holding a frog out in front of him while taking his hand to his head (in disgust?). A {{w|Fowler's toad}} is a relatively common toad in the eastern US, and a stereotype of studying {{w|biology}} is a frog {{w|dissection}}, which is likely part of the reference, albeit oblique | + | ;Panel 9, ''I'd rather eat a Fowler's toad than major in biology,'': We see Cueball holding a frog out in front of him while taking his hand to his head (in disgust?). A {{w|Fowler's toad}} is a relatively common toad in the eastern US, and a stereotype of studying {{w|biology}} is a frog {{w|dissection}}, which is likely part of the reference, albeit oblique. |
− | ;Panel 10, ''And social psych is worse than either psych | + | ;Panel 10, ''And social psych is worse than either psych or sociology.'': {{w|Social psychology}} is compared to {{w|sociology}} (study of humans in society) and {{w|psychology}} (study of human minds); the first is represented by a mad chainsaw wielder in company, and the second by a mad chainsaw wielder by himself — the chainsaw wielder being stereotypical examples of "madness". [[Megan]] is standing between them undecided as to take one, the other or both. They are all terrible... |
− | ;Panels 11 | + | ;Panels 11, ''The thought of picking any one of these is too unbearable,'' |
+ | ;Panels 12, ''Just put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible.'': End of the first verse where Cueball tells his academic advisor that he is undecided as every major's terrible. He even throws away his {{w|study guide}}. Every verse ends with some variation of this couplet, and in the original tune, each of these couplets are repeated by the chorus afterwards. | ||
:''Unbearable'' and ''terrible'' rhyme for people who have the {{w|English-language vowel changes before historic /r/#Mary–marry–merry merger|Mary-merry merger}}. | :''Unbearable'' and ''terrible'' rhyme for people who have the {{w|English-language vowel changes before historic /r/#Mary–marry–merry merger|Mary-merry merger}}. | ||
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;Panel 13, ''Now, if you can't prognosticate, that's OK in seismology,'':[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/prognosticate Prognosticate] means "to predict". This refers to the inability of {{w|seismology}} to reliably predict catastrophic {{w|earthquake}}s, even after centuries of extensive research. The panel shows {{w|Seismic wave|seismic waves}} from a {{w|seismograph}}. The seismograph chart has four traces and about halfway across one trace begins oscillating vigorously indicating an earthquake. Five months after this comic was published several seismologists in Italy were [http://www.nature.com/news/italian-court-finds-seismologists-guilty-of-manslaughter-1.11640 convicted of crimes] that effectively stemmed from an inability to predict an earthquake. This does not go down well for the message of this panel... Their conviction was [http://www.nature.com/news/italian-seismologists-cleared-of-manslaughter-1.16313 overturned on appeal] in 2014. | ;Panel 13, ''Now, if you can't prognosticate, that's OK in seismology,'':[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/prognosticate Prognosticate] means "to predict". This refers to the inability of {{w|seismology}} to reliably predict catastrophic {{w|earthquake}}s, even after centuries of extensive research. The panel shows {{w|Seismic wave|seismic waves}} from a {{w|seismograph}}. The seismograph chart has four traces and about halfway across one trace begins oscillating vigorously indicating an earthquake. Five months after this comic was published several seismologists in Italy were [http://www.nature.com/news/italian-court-finds-seismologists-guilty-of-manslaughter-1.11640 convicted of crimes] that effectively stemmed from an inability to predict an earthquake. This does not go down well for the message of this panel... Their conviction was [http://www.nature.com/news/italian-seismologists-cleared-of-manslaughter-1.16313 overturned on appeal] in 2014. | ||
− | ;Panel 14, ''But if your hindsight's weak as well, you'd best stick to theology.'': The bearded [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/theologist theologist] represents {{w|Theology}} by stating the formal logic proposition shown in the illustration: "X ∴ ∃X". This says "I can describe this thing called X, therefore X exists". | + | ;Panel 14, ''But if your hindsight's weak as well, you'd best stick to theology.'': The bearded [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/theologist theologist] represents {{w|Theology}} by stating the formal logic proposition shown in the illustration: "X ∴ ∃X". This says "I can describe this thing called X, therefore X exists". This is basically what the popular {{w|ontological argument}} for God boils down to. Briefly, it asks you to imagine the best possible deity. A God like that which exists is better than one that doesn't. But we said we were imagining the best possible deity. Therefore, this proposition concludes that God exists. (See [[1505: Ontological Argument]].) |
− | ;Panel 15, ''CS will make each day a quest to find a missing close-paren.'': "CS" is short for "{{w|Computer Science}}." Most programming languages use parentheses as part of their syntax, and often have multiply-nested parenthetical expressions. This is especially true of {{w|Lisp (programming language)|Lisp}}. It is often difficult for a programmer to determine where the unbalanced parenthesis begins or ends when the code and parentheses are not properly formatted and indented. In the panel there is one more left "(" parenthesis (13) than right ")" or ''close-paren'' (12). | + | ;Panel 15, ''CS will make each day a quest to find a missing close-paren.'': "CS" is short for "{{w|Computer Science}}." Most programming languages use parentheses as part of their syntax, and often have multiply-nested parenthetical expressions. This is especially true of {{w|Lisp (programming language)|Lisp}}. It is often difficult for a programmer to determine where the unbalanced parenthesis begins or ends when the code and parentheses are not properly formatted and indented. In the panel there is one more left "(" parenthesis (13) than right ")" or ''close-paren'' (12). The problem is now, where to put this last one... |
− | ;Panel 16, ''Virology will guarantee you'll never get a hug again.'': {{w|Virology}} is the study of {{w|infectious diseases}}. The green symbol above the central figure is the {{w|Hazard_symbol#Biohazard_sign|biohazard symbol}}, implying that people who study infectious diseases, and are therefore located near them at some points in time, will be shunned like the plague, because they're probably carrying it. Thus no hugs to Megan as three | + | ;Panel 16, ''Virology will guarantee you'll never get a hug again.'': {{w|Virology}} is the study of {{w|infectious diseases}}. The green symbol above the central figure is the {{w|Hazard_symbol#Biohazard_sign|biohazard symbol}}, implying that people who study infectious diseases, and are therefore located near them at some points in time, will be shunned like the plague, because they're probably carrying it. Thus no hugs to Megan as three Cueball like guys and Ponytail leans back away from her. |
− | ;Panel 17, ''I.T. prepares you for a life of fighting with PCs nonstop.'': "I.T." is short for "{{w|Information Technology}}", a degree for people who maintain computer systems. If there is a need for an I.T. position (in which I.T. professionals are employed) there are computers which need fixing — hence the I.T. Professional is always fixing (or fighting) computers, which may or may not have been [ | + | ;Panel 17, ''I.T. prepares you for a life of fighting with PCs nonstop.'': "I.T." is short for "{{w|Information Technology}}", a degree for people who maintain computer systems. If there is a need for an I.T. position (in which I.T. professionals are employed) there are computers which need fixing — hence the I.T. Professional is always fixing (or fighting) computers, which may or may not have been [http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=19980506 "broken" by users]. In the panel Megan, wielding an axe, is in a real fight with a PC. |
− | ;Panel 18, ''As Pratchett said, "Geography's just physics slowed with trees on top."'': This is a slightly amended quote from {{w|Discworld}} author {{w|Terry Pratchett}}, from his book "{{w| | + | ;Panel 18, ''As Pratchett said, "Geography's just physics slowed with trees on top."'': This is a slightly amended quote from {{w|Discworld}} author {{w|Terry Pratchett}}, from his book "{{w|The Last Continent}}". The actual quote is "{{w|Geography}} is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it." But the meaning is the same, that physics also describes geography - a similar quote to the one about physics vs. stamp collections mentioned under panel 4. |
− | ;Panel 19, ''Though physics seems to promise you a Richard Feynman-like career,'': {{w|Richard Feynman}} was a 20th-century {{w|Nobel Prize|Nobel}}-laureate {{w|physicist}} known for his great sense of humor, including being photographed for one of his books while holding a {{w|bongo drum}}. Here he is depicted with the drum and with both a blond | + | ;Panel 19, ''Though physics seems to promise you a Richard Feynman-like career,'': {{w|Richard Feynman}} was a 20th-century {{w|Nobel Prize|Nobel}}-laureate {{w|physicist}} known for his great sense of humor, including being photographed for one of his books while holding a {{w|bongo drum}}. Here he is depicted with the drum and with both a blond girl and Megan looking admiringly upon him. Feynman made physicist seem cool, and many a young fan of him, might choose the subject in the hope of obtaining a Feynman-like career. This is, however, very unlikely for most people as is also shown in the next panel. |
− | ;Panel 20, ''The wiki page for "Physics major" redirects to "Engineer."'': A redirect on Wikipedia is a page which immediately sends the visitor to a different page. This implies that the title of the first is either a synonym or a sub-topic of the second. Physics | + | ;Panel 20, ''The wiki page for "Physics major" redirects to "Engineer."'': A redirect on Wikipedia is a page which immediately sends the visitor to a different page. This implies that the title of the first is either a synonym or a sub-topic of the second. {{w|Physics major}} usually learn to code, and the standard joke is that they invariably get hired as {{w|computer programmers}} after graduation, but here in this comic they get hired as {{w|engineers}}. This relates back to the previous panel, as it is here shown that most of those that major in physics end up as engineers and not like Feynman. The Wikipedia page physics major didn't actually exist when this comic was published. It was created the same day, but as a [https://en.wikipedia.org /w/index.php?title=Physics_major&redirect=no redirect] to {{w|physics education}}. It is such a redirect page that is shown in the panel. In the subsequent days, there were dozens of instances of people changing it to redirect to engineer, usually reverted within minutes. The redirect page is now ''fully protected'' and locked for editing. As with the underwater basket-weaving line in the first verse, after the soloist sings this, the line would be repeated three times by the chorus. |
− | ;Panels 21 | + | ;Panels 21, ''They say to study history or find yourself repeating it,'' |
+ | ;Panels 22, ''But all that it prepares you for is forty years of teaching it.'': This uses a version of a quote by {{w|George Santayana}} (although often attributed to others as well), ''Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it'' as a reason to study {{w|history}} — only to be followed by an indication that by studying history as a major, you will only be prepared to become a history teacher, and you will then spend the rest of your life teaching history. The first panel shows a flow chart that will lead you to repeat your sad past if you cannot remember it, and only move on to happier times if you can. In the next panel we see a history teacher, with her gray hair tied up in a bun, standing in front of a green {{w|Blackboard}} with three important years for her current history class. | ||
− | + | ;Panels 23, ''I recognize my four-year plan's at this point not repairable,'' | |
− | + | ;Panels 24, ''But put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible.'': End of the second verse where Cueball again talks to his academic advisor saying that he is undecided. In the last of the two panel he says almost the same as at the end of the first verse. In the first, however, he mentioned his "four-year plan" which is the list of all the courses a student plans to include in his/her degree program. If you change majors every semester, or do not decide on one until too late, this list gets really difficult to turn into any one degree. Again these lines would be repeated by the chorus afterwards. | |
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− | ;Panels 23 | ||
===Verse 3=== | ===Verse 3=== | ||
− | ;Panel 25, ''Astronomers all cringe when they hear "supermoon" or "zodiac".'': {{w|Supermoon}} is a term invented by {{w|astrologers}} in the 1970s, with no significance in {{w|astronomy}} other than being the co-occurrence of orbital {{w|perigee}} and full-moon. But it comes up often in the press, linked to supernatural behavior. | + | ;Panel 25, ''Astronomers all cringe when they hear "supermoon" or "zodiac".'': {{w|Supermoon}} is a term invented by {{w|astrologers}} in the 1970s, with no significance in {{w|astronomy}} other than being the co-occurrence of orbital {{w|perigee}} and full-moon. But it comes up often in the press, linked to supernatural behavior. (See [[1394: Superm*n]]). The {{w|zodiac}} is the circular band in the sky containing the apparent path of the sun, moon and planets. Most often when people talk about it, they're referring to {{w|astrology}} and {{w|horoscopes}} and other pseudo-scientific notions which often lead to conversations which are frustrating to astronomers, like the bearded one from the panel. |
− | ;Panel 26, ''Agronomy's a no-go; I'm a huge agorophobiac.'': {{w|Agronomy}} is the science of farming, while {{w|agoraphobia}} is the fear of wide open spaces. Fields, where most farming happens, are wide open spaces. In the panel an anxious Cueball is standing near a fence on an open field with a tractor. | + | ;Panel 26, ''Agronomy's a no-go; I'm a huge agorophobiac.'': {{w|Agronomy}} is the science of farming, while {{w|agoraphobia}} is the fear of wide open spaces. Fields, where most farming happens, are wide open spaces. In the panel an anxious Cueball is standing near a fence on an open field with a tractor. Presumable he may be OK inside the tractor, but once he gets outside he becomes anxious. |
− | ;Panel 27, ''I'm too ophiophobic to consider herpetology,'': {{w|Herpetology}} is the study of {{w|reptiles}} and {{w|amphibians}}, while {{w|ophiophobia}} is the fear of {{w|snakes}} (a reptile). The panel shows sweating Cueball holding his hands to his mouth while looking at a green snake asking for his love? | + | ;Panel 27, ''I'm too ophiophobic to consider herpetology,'': {{w|Herpetology}} is the study of {{w|reptiles}} and {{w|amphibians}}, while {{w|ophiophobia}} is the fear of {{w|snakes}} (a reptile). The panel shows sweating Cueball holding his hands to his mouth while looking at a green snake asking for his love? |
;Panel 28, ''And I can't stomach any part of gastroenterology.'': As the pun suggests, {{w|gastroenterology}} is the study of the human digestive system and the image shows the human {{w|stomach}}. To [http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/cannot+stomach not be able to stomach something] means you can't stand or tolerate this thing. | ;Panel 28, ''And I can't stomach any part of gastroenterology.'': As the pun suggests, {{w|gastroenterology}} is the study of the human digestive system and the image shows the human {{w|stomach}}. To [http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/cannot+stomach not be able to stomach something] means you can't stand or tolerate this thing. | ||
− | ;Panel 29, ''While pre-med gives you twitchy-eyed obsession with your GPA,'': {{w|Pre-med}} (pre-medical) is a major chosen by students hoping to go on to {{w|medical school}} to study {{w|medicine}} and eventually become {{w|Doctor of Medicine|doctors}}. Medical school is extremely competitive and usually requires a very high undergraduate {{w|GPA}} for prospective students. Hence we see a pre-med student holding all his | + | ;Panel 29, ''While pre-med gives you twitchy-eyed obsession with your GPA,'': {{w|Pre-med}} (pre-medical) is a major chosen by students hoping to go on to {{w|medical school}} to study {{w|medicine}} and eventually become {{w|Doctor of Medicine|doctors}}. Medical school is extremely competitive and usually requires a very high undergraduate {{w|GPA}} for prospective students. Hence we see a pre-med student holding on to all his GPA results. |
;Panel 30, <tt>a poetry degree bespeaks bewildering naïveté.</tt>: The text is in all lower-case, a different font and strangely laid out compared to the text in all the other panels. All-lower-case and "free" layout are both associated with 20th century "{{w|Modernist}}" {{w|poetry}}, especially the works of {{w|E. E. Cummings}}. Ponytail is actually reciting this line of the song. | ;Panel 30, <tt>a poetry degree bespeaks bewildering naïveté.</tt>: The text is in all lower-case, a different font and strangely laid out compared to the text in all the other panels. All-lower-case and "free" layout are both associated with 20th century "{{w|Modernist}}" {{w|poetry}}, especially the works of {{w|E. E. Cummings}}. Ponytail is actually reciting this line of the song. | ||
− | ;Panels 31 | + | ;Panels 31, ''TV's behind the rush into forensic criminology'' |
+ | ;Panels 32, ''(Or so claims meta-academic epidemiology).'': This refers to how {{w|forensic}}-{{w|criminology}} shows, specifically {{w|CSI: Miami}} (Crime Scene Investigation: Miami) as shown on the TV screen in both panels, that often dramatize, exaggerate or otherwise confuse the science behind forensics, give people unrealistically glamorous views of the career, thus encouraging them to join it. {{w|Epidemiology}} is the study of causes and effects of events and trends. We see a pipe smoking epidemiologist standing with Ponytail and watching CSI - presumably making wild claims on cause and effect based only on what they see on TV... This is, again, the point where the chorus joins in three times, as in the previous two verses. | ||
− | ;Panels 33 | + | ;Panels 33, ''By dubbing econ "dismal science" adherents exaggerate;'' |
− | *The | + | ;Panels 34, ''The "dismal"'s fine - it's "science" where they patently prevaricate.'': "Econ" is short for "{{w|economics}}". {{w|Thomas Carlyle}} declared economics "{{w|the dismal science}}" in the {{w|Victorian era}} as a derogatory alternative name. {{w|Economists}} often claim that economics is a {{w|science}} like any other; however, as the predictive power of all economic theories are exceedingly weak compared to those of any science, this is disputed by those outside the field at times. It is of course also disputed by this song, in which Cueball "clearly" (see below) states that economics should not call it self a science - that is the ''dismal science'' is not derogatory enough for him. |
+ | *The sentences uttered by Cueball in these two panels are extremely difficult English for non-native English speakers. | ||
+ | *Here is some help in understanding the sentences: | ||
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dub Dubbing] something means ''giving it a nickname''. | **[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dub Dubbing] something means ''giving it a nickname''. | ||
− | **[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dismal Dismal] science means | + | **[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dismal Dismal] science means ''disappointingly inadequate science''. |
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/adherent Adherents] means ''supporters''. | **[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/adherent Adherents] means ''supporters''. | ||
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/patently Patently] means ''in a clear and unambiguous manner'' | **[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/patently Patently] means ''in a clear and unambiguous manner'' | ||
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/prevaricate Prevaricate] means to ''evade the truth''. | **[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/prevaricate Prevaricate] means to ''evade the truth''. | ||
*Using these meanings of the words the two sentences can be re-written as: | *Using these meanings of the words the two sentences can be re-written as: | ||
− | ** | + | **By giving economics the nickname "disappointingly inadequate science" the supporters [of economics] exaggerate; |
− | **The "inadequate" | + | **The "disappointingly inadequate" is fine - it's "science" where they in a clear and unambiguous manner evades the truth. |
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− | ; | + | ;Panels 35, ''In terms of choices, I'd say only Sophie's was comparable.'' |
− | ; | + | ;Panels 36, ''Just put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible.'': End of the third verse, with yet another variant on the closing couplet. Choosing a major is compared to {{w|Sophie's Choice}}, which is any {{w|dilemma}} where choosing one cherished person or thing over the other will result in the death or destruction of the other, derived from the theme of the {{w|Sophie's Choice (novel)|novel}} of the same name, which has also been turned into a {{w|Sophie's Choice (film)|romantic drama film}}. So Cueball tells the academic advisor that choosing any of the majors over any other is as horrible as to have to choose which cherished person should die to save the other. Although in his case, it is the other way around, since he thinks all choices sucks. Again these lines would be repeated by the chorus. |
==Transcript== | ==Transcript== | ||
− | + | :'''Every Major's Terrible''' | |
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:to the tune of Gilbert & Sullivan's | :to the tune of Gilbert & Sullivan's | ||
− | : | + | :'''Modern Major-General Song''' |
− | :(Which you may know from Tom Lehrer's ''Elements''. | + | :(Which you may know from Tom Lehrer's ''Elements''. If not, just hum ''Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious''.) |
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− | :[ | + | :Philosophy's just math sans rigor, sense, and practicality |
− | ::Cueball: | + | ::[Cueball thinking, chin on fist, à la Rodin's sculpture; in the air is a pseudo-mathematical expression "2 + <picture of light bulb> = <picture of sailboat>"] |
+ | :And Math's just physics unconstrained by precepts of reality. | ||
+ | ::[A cannon firing: a dashed line indicates the cannonball's trajectory, which bifurcates twice, although the sum of the momentums of the four resulting 1/4 sized cannonballs is presumably mathematically identical to the original.] | ||
+ | :A Business Major's just a thing you get so you can graduate | ||
+ | ::[A student receives a diploma from a dean on a podium, while a second student, diploma in hand, runs gleefully away, shedding robe and mortarboard.] | ||
+ | :And Chemistry's for stamp collectors high on methylacetate. | ||
+ | ::[A ponytailed student wearing goggles and holding an Erlenmeyer flask dances wildly to a light show -- or is it the Periodic Table? -- in the background.] | ||
+ | :Why anyone who wants a job would study Lit's a mystery | ||
+ | ::[Cueball, saying this, holds up hands questioningly.] | ||
+ | :Unless their only other choice were something like Art History. | ||
+ | ::[Cueball again, holding his chin speculatively.] | ||
+ | :A BA in communications guarantees that you'll achieve | ||
+ | ::[close-up of a graduate wearing embroidered robe and tasseled mortarboard.] | ||
+ | :A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave | ||
+ | ::[The same graduate, now underwater, surrounded by fish and a wicker basket.] | ||
+ | :I'd rather eat a Fowler's toad than major in Biology, | ||
+ | ::[Cueball holding a frog at arm's length, which says:.] | ||
+ | ::Frog: RIBBIT | ||
+ | :And Social Psych is worse than either Psych or Sociology. | ||
+ | ::[Megan indicating: a scruffy individual, an individual holding something which might be a chainsaw, and a scruffy individual holding something which might be a chainsaw.] | ||
+ | :The thought of picking any one of these is too unbearable. | ||
+ | ::[Cueball at his adviser's desk holding a course catalog.] | ||
+ | :Just put me down as "Undecided" - every major's terrible. | ||
+ | ::[He tosses the course catalog over his shoulder.] | ||
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− | :[ | + | :Now, if you can't prognosticate, that's OK in Seismology, |
− | :: | + | ::[Seismograph chart; about halfway across one trace begins oscillating vigorously.] |
+ | :But if your hindsight's weak as well, you'd best stick to Theology. | ||
+ | ::[A bearded individual pontificates.] | ||
+ | ::Bearded individual: X ∴ ∃X | ||
+ | :CS will make each day a quest to find a missing close-paren. | ||
+ | ::[A code fragment.] | ||
+ | ::code: <code>(((()((((()(</code> | ||
+ | ::code: <code>))))())())())</code> | ||
+ | :Virology will guarantee you'll never get a hug again. | ||
+ | ::[A girl with a green Biohazard symbol floating above her head stands alone; to the left and right several people shun her.] | ||
+ | :I.T. prepares you for a life of fighting with PCs nonstop. | ||
+ | ::[Megan running at a PC with an axe raised over her head.] | ||
+ | :As Pratchett said, "Geography's just physics slowed with trees on top." | ||
+ | ::[Image of Pratchett, speaking this line.] | ||
+ | :Though physics seems to promise you a Richard Feynman-like career, | ||
+ | ::[Richard Feynman plays the bongo drums while Megan and Ponytail look on admiringly.] | ||
+ | :The wiki page for "Physics Major" redirects to "Engineer." | ||
+ | ::[Screenshot of so-mentioned redirect.] | ||
+ | :They say to study history or find yourself repeating it, | ||
+ | ::[Flowchart: a grey box with a sad face chains to a decision diamond reading simply "?"; the "yes" branch leads to a yellow happy-face box while the "no" branch loops back to the initial sad face.] | ||
+ | :But all that it prepares you for is forty years of teaching it. | ||
+ | ::[Teacher with boxy spectacles and a bun at a chalkboard indicating dates: 1935, 1969, 1991.] | ||
+ | :I recognize my four-year plan's at this point not repairable, | ||
+ | ::[Cueball at his adviser's desk again.] | ||
+ | :But put me down as "Undecided" - every major's terrible. | ||
+ | ::[Adviser has his hand to his mouth as if gasping.] | ||
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+ | :Astronomers all cringe when they hear "Supermoon" or "Zodiac". | ||
+ | ::[Image of an astrologer espousing theories.] | ||
+ | :Agronomy's a no-go; I'm a huge agorophobiac. | ||
+ | ::[Silhouette of Cueball, agitated, in an open field near a fence and a tractor.] | ||
+ | :I'm too ophiophobic to consider Herpetology, | ||
+ | ::[Cueball looking aghast at a snake on the ground; the snake may have other ideas.] | ||
+ | ::snake: ♥? | ||
+ | :And I can't stomach any part of Gastroenterology. | ||
+ | ::[Anatomical image of a stomach.] | ||
+ | :While Pre-Med gives you twitchy-eyed obsession with your GPA,::[A badly disheveled individual, glasses askew, clutching folders and papers and dropping several] | ||
+ | :<tt>a poetry degree bespeaks bewildering naïveté.</tt> | ||
+ | ::[Ponytail reciting poetry; her poem is this panel's line, in a lighter, lower-case font.] | ||
+ | :TV's behind the rush into Forensic Criminology | ||
+ | ::["CSI: Miami" logo.] | ||
+ | :(Or so claims Meta-academic Epidemiology). | ||
+ | ::[Ponytail holding notebook, and balding individual wearing glasses and holding pipe, watch a wall-mounted flatscreen TV on which "CSI: Miami" logo is showing.] | ||
+ | :By dubbing Econ "dismal science" adherents exaggerate; | ||
+ | ::[Cueball discoursing on his opinion here.] | ||
+ | :The "dismal"'s fine - it's "science" where they patently prevaricate. | ||
+ | ::[Close-up on Cueball.] | ||
+ | :In terms of choices, I'd say only Sophie's was comparable. | ||
+ | ::[Cueball at his adviser's desk once more.] | ||
+ | :Just put me down as "Undecided" - every major's terrible! | ||
+ | ::[Cueball makes a final dramatic flair.] | ||
{{comic discussion}} | {{comic discussion}} | ||
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[[Category:Comics featuring real people]] | [[Category:Comics featuring real people]] | ||
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