Editing 997: Wait Wait

{{comic
| number    = 997
| date      = December 30, 2011
| title     = Wait Wait
| image     = wait_wait.png
| imagesize = 
| titletext = You can't stab Carl Kasell. He sounds all slow and stentorian, but he moves like a snake.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me}} is an hour-long weekly radio news panel game show produced by {{w|Chicago Public Radio}} and {{w|National Public Radio}}. The show is hosted by {{w|playwright}} and actor {{w|Peter Sagal}}. This comic is making puns on the title of the show based on what Peter Sagal might have done that was newsworthy.

{{w|Carl Kasell}}, who also served as the newsreader on {{w|Morning Edition}}, is the show's official judge and scorekeeper.  I assume that is who [[Randall]] meant in the second paper in the second row and in the title text despite the Karl/Carl spelling confusion.  (This may be the point: that most people spell his name wrong, according to at least [http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/001020.html one source].)

In the 3rd row, first paper, {{w|Lakshmi Singh}} is NPR's national midday newscaster.

In the 3rd row, 3rd paper is a reference to a protest at {{w|UC Davis}} (on the campus of University of California, Davis) protests in early 2012 in which sitting, peaceful protesters were calmly pepper-sprayed in their faces by a police officer. That spawned an [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/casually-pepper-spray-everything-cop internet meme of epic proportions].

In the 4th row, 2nd paper is a reference to the movie, {{w|Ghostbusters}}.

In the 4th row, 3rd paper is a reference to Granny Weatherwax of {{w|Discworld}}, who carries a sign saying "I aten't dead" when having out-of-body experiences.

In the 5th row, 3rd paper is a reference to another internet meme in where someone leaves out the verb in the sentence. It is based on the [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-accidentally I Accidentally ___ meme].

In the 5th row, 3rd paper, all I can find on Eldritch is that it was a {{w|Dungeons and Dragons}}' book, also is used in {{w|Terry Prachett}}'s {{w|Discworld}}. Generally, it means an evil being.

==Transcript==
Headlines!

Stockpiled in case Peter Sagal, host of NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, does something newsworthy in 2012.

((Series of above-the-fold newspapers follows; Each has a headline, picture in most of them, and an explanation))

Wait Wait Don't Shoot Me

[A fierce Peter Sagal in a balaclava brandishes a gun in a supermarket]

NPR's Sagal in Whole Foods hostage standoff.

Wait Wait Don't Vote For Me

Peter Sagal quits race for GOP top spot

[A sullen and defeated Peter Sagal surrounded by supporters admits defeat]

Wait Wait Don't Judge Me

Sagal opens up about his Kermit fantasy.

[Stock profile images of Peter Sagal and Kermit the Frog]

Wait Wait Don't Fire Me

[Stock profile image of Peter Sagal]

Peter Sagal let go after racist tirade.

Wait Wait Don't Cancel Me

NPR axing news quiz.

[NPR spokesperson delivering announcement]

Wait Wait Don't Interrupt Me

Sagal stabs Carl Kasell in on-air dispute.

[Peter Sagal mid-attack with a knife]

Wait Wait Don't Look At Me

[Peter Sagal with a skin condition]

Peter Sagal's Poison Ivy Ordeal

Peter Sagal: "My 'Nam"

Wait Wait Don't Friend Me

Peter Sagal deletes his Facebook account.

[Person holding up a laptop with an "Facebook account not found" screen]

Wait Wait Don't Seduce Me

How Lakshmi Singh stole Sagal's Heart.

[A wistful Lakshmi Singh being left by a sullen Peter Sagal]

Wait Wait Don't Leave Me

[A wistful Peter Sagal being left by a furious Beth Sagal]

Sagal's wife out after affair

Wait Wait Don't Spray Me

Police Raid Sagal's Occupy NPR protest

[Scummy policeman in riot gear spraying Peter Sagal in the face point blank with what is essentially a food product]

Wait Wait Don't Indict Me

Sagal, five others named in cash-for-tote-bags scandal 

[Peter Sagal doing a perp walk]

Wait Wait Don't Clone Me

Peter Sagal 'Outraged' over DNA harvesting.

[Fiery Peter Sagal, missing a small amount of DNA, at a podium]

Wait Wait Don't Bust Me

Peter Sagal's ghost captured

[Ghostbusters, careful not to cross the streams, capture the ghost of Peter Sagal]

Wait Wait Don't Dissect Me

Snoozing Sagal nearly snuffed in autopsy snafu

[Peter Sagal running away from from a very surprised pathologist]

Peter Sagal: "I ain't dead!"

Wait Wait Don't Objectify Me

Peter Sagal is more than just a piece of meat

Wait Wait Don't Beatify Me

[Peter Sagal shakes his fist at a picture of the pope]

Peter Sagal Rebukes Pope

Wait Wait Don't Me

Peter Sagal Accidentally

[Peter Sagal in a blank vacant]

Wait Wait Don't Speak Its Name

[eyes... Eyes... AAAHHH]

Peter Sagal wakes Eldritch terror

Peter Sagal:"AAAAAAAA"

Wait Wait Even For NPR This Is A Bit Much

This American Life to document the road to recovery for those who suffer the trauma of losing on Wait Wait

{{comic discussion}}