350: Network

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Viruses so far have been really disappointing on the 'disable the internet' front, and time is running out.  When Linux/Mac win in a decade or so the game will be over.
Title text: Viruses so far have been really disappointing on the 'disable the internet' front, and time is running out. When Linux/Mac win in a decade or so the game will be over.


Cueball shows off his virtual fishtank of virus infected virtual Windows machines to Megan. The machines nominally have mail trojans, warhol worms, all sorts of polymorphic viruses, and explicitly Blaster and w32.welchia.

This is actually a viable system to setup. There are a couple problems. The first is that one would (legally) need to get Windows licenses for all the virtual machines. The second is that, unless one does a good job isolating the systems, you could allow the viruses into other parts of your computers, or into the internet at large, neither of which is something one should do. I would expect virus scanner companies to actually have such systems.


[ Girl looking at a large screen with many green and red squares. The squares have writing in them and lines connecting them.]
[Side view. The screen is a huge LCD connected to a wireless router.]
Guy: Pretty, isn't it?
Girl: What is it?
Guy: I've got a bunch of virtual Windows machines networked together, hooked up to an incoming pipe from the net. They execute email attachments, share files, and have no security patches.
Guy: Between them they have practically every virus.
Guy: There are mail trojans, warhol worms, and all sorts of exotic polymorphics. A monitoring system adds and wipes machines at random. The display shows the viruses as they move through the network. Growing and struggling.
[Guy walks past the girl and touches the monitor]
Girl: You know, normal people just have aquariums.
Guy: Good morning, Blaster. Are you and W32.Welchia getting along?
Guy: Who's a good virus? You are! Yes, you are!
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I'm just going to say it if your going to infect them anyway and not update them why would you need to get licenses legally. okies i said what we're all thinking byesies24.2.26.20 20:06, 14 May 2013 (UTC)

License are not for the updates. Licenses are to not be committing copyright violation, and thus to be legal. --Divad27182 (talk) 16:41, 5 June 2013 (UTC)
I believe Microsoft's MSDN licenses allow for setting up development/testing environments, and would be what I might use if I was setting something like this up for personal reasons, but still had enough money to buy a 103" flat-panel display... Tryc (talk) 20:10, 20 June 2013 (UTC)
This comic is not about Microsoft licences, it's just about an experiment at an isolated network exposed to many violent viruses effecting only Microsoft systems. That Linux/MAC prediction is still not explained: So this is incomplete.--Dgbrt (talk) 21:03, 20 June 2013 (UTC)
A mention of WecanHastheTechnology?
Hey, perhaps we should mention something about the site http://wecan.hasthe.technology? Someone actually set up a system like this (in the FAQ, it was actually stated as being inspired by this comic.) Although, I suppose it's understandable (for security purposes) not to link to external untrusted sites. (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

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