388: Fuck Grapefruit
Title text: Coconuts are so far down to the left they couldn't be fit on the chart. Ever spent half an hour trying to open a coconut with a rock? Fuck coconuts.
This comic consists in a chart where Randall plotted fruits according to two criteria: ease/difficulty to eat, and tastiness. For instance, pineapples are deemed fairly tasty but very difficult to eat, whereas (seeded) grapes are very tasty and rather easy, and logically seedless grapes are equally tasty while being far more easy at the same time.
Obviously being easy to eat is preferable to being difficult, and being tasty is preferable to being untasty, so the "best" fruits (regarding these two aspects only) are in the top-right corner, and the worst in the bottom-left one; additionally, in the top-left corner are the "difficult-but-worthy" fruits, and in the bottom-right one, the "not-so-tasty-but-easy-anyway" ones.
According to the resulting chart, grapefruit is the third hardest fruit to eat as well as the second most untasty fruit (from the ones listed at least) - see the Table. Eating one of them is like spending too much of one's time and energy without much reward. Hence: Fuck grapefruit.
From the chart/table it should then also be clear that peaches are Randall's favorite fruit as it is the one deemed most tasty and it is far more tasty than the four fruits that are deemed easier to eat.
The title text adds a joke about coconuts, concerning the fact that they are far more difficult to eat (especially to open) than the usual mainstream fruits such as the ones plotted here, and once open Randall doesn't even like the taste. Therefore, 1) coconuts could not fit on the chart because they are too far down to the left (or if they had been put in the chart, they would have relegated all the other fruits on the far top right, all equally easy to eat in comparison to coconuts and therefore indiscernible from each other); and 2) having spent half an hour trying (in vain?) to open a coconut, Randall has the following comment on that: Fuck coconuts.
Although it is called a nut, the coconut is actually a stone fruit and thus belongs on a chart of fruit. Along these lines of thought many would claim that the tomato is a vegetable. But it is actually a fruit in the botanical sense (or a berry - but Randall has already included for instance Blueberries). But then he might as well have included a cucumber which in this sense is also a fruit. See for instance the description on this List of culinary fruits. The strawberry is actually not a berry but an accessory fruit, like many of the other fruits on the chart.
It is clear from this chart that Randall is not much into any kind of citrus fruit. Although it would have been interesting to see where he would have placed the more sweet and often much more peal-able mandarin and especially the hybrid clementine. (This could resemble the comparison of seeded vs. seedless grapes - and why are the seeded grapes more tasty?). It is a mystery why he would think that a lemon is easier to eat (or peal) than an orange. And whereas it is clear that you need a knife to begin eating a pineapple, thus making this very difficult to eat, you cold say the same for watermelon! So why should he consider this easier to eat than for instance oranges, that are fairly easy to peal? Similar it seems weird that he thinks that bananas are rather difficult to eat. It is the most easily peal-able fruit in the world. However you are left with a rather large peal, that you should not just drop in nature or on a street (where people always slip in them...) Maybe this explains that they should be more difficult to eat? For instance many would think it more annoying that something had a stone like peaches and cherries. This is however clearly not the case for Randall, and this comic is all about his opinions - see below.
According to FRUIT OPINIONS! on the Blag, this was the most controversial comic written to this point, beating out comics about cunnilingus, the Obama endorsement, and my making 4chan tiny on the map of the internet.
- Cunnilingus see 136: Science Fair.
- The Obama endorsement See Politics also from the Blag.
- 4chan is tiny on the map of the internet called 256: Online Communities. (See the small island to the far right - left of "dragons" in the sentence Here there be anthromorphic dragons.)
- Not to be confused with the comic that is actually named 195: Map of the Internet.
The comic shows an X-Y plot of fruit, showing tastiness on the vertical axis and difficulty-of-consumption on the horizontal axis. The Y-axis goes from "tasty" at the top, to "untasty" at the bottom. The X-axis goes from "easy" on the right to "difficult" on the left.
Below is a table listing the coordinate for each fruit according to how tasty it is and assuming that the extremes of each axis goes from -100% to 100% (untasty = -tasty and difficult = -easy). Note that this does not agree with the title text since coconuts would be off the charts. However the extremes for both tasty and untasty as well as for easy and difficult are equally far from the main axis.
The coordinated have been found by measuring each fruit from the center of the drawing (not center of mass, but center from left to right/top to bottom) to the two axises. The axises are hand drawn which is clearly visible. The numbers have been obtained be measuring to the nearest point of each axis, not taking into account that the axises are not perfect straight perpendicular lines.
- [An X-Y plot of fruit where both axises have arrows in both ends. At the end of each arrow is a label.]
- [The X-axis from left to right:]
- [The Y-axis from top to bottom:]
- [The fruit names are listed here below from top to bottom according to the how tasty the fruit is, not necessarily in the same order that the names are written if one fruit is tall/large and the other low:]
- Seeded grapes
- Seedless grapes
- Green apples
- Red apples