388: Fuck Grapefruit
Title text: Coconuts are so far down to the left they couldn't be fit on the chart. Ever spent half an hour trying to open a coconut with a rock? Fuck coconuts.
This comic consists of a chart where Randall has plotted fruits according to two criteria: ease/difficulty to eat on the horizontal axis, and tastiness on the vertical axis. The Y-axis goes from "tasty" at the top, to "untasty" at the bottom. The X-axis goes from "easy" on the right to "difficult" on the left.
For instance, pineapples are deemed fairly tasty but very difficult to eat, whereas (seeded) grapes are very tasty and somewhat easy, and logically seedless grapes are roughly equally tasty but easier to eat.
Obviously being easy to eat is preferable to being difficult, and being tasty is preferable to being untasty, so the "best" fruits (regarding these two aspects only) are in the top-right corner, and the worst in the bottom-left; additionally, in the top-left corner are the "difficult-but-worthy" fruits, and in the bottom-right one, the "not-so-tasty-but-easy-anyway" ones.
The individual ratings of each fruit are subjective; very obviously in the case of tastiness, and more subtly for difficulty. Randall does not explain his criteria for ranking the difficulty of each fruit, and it is likely based on simply personal experiences. Someone who has grown up in an area where pinapples are plentiful is likely to be more adept at skillfully preparing them. The discrepancies between how Randall has rated certain fruits and how others believe they should have been rated caused a surprising level of controversy.
The table below lists approximate coordinates for each fruit using a scale of -100% (untasty/difficult) to 100% (tasty/easy). The coordinates are based on the included fruits, any new items added outside the current range (e.g. Coconuts) would cause the scales to be reassigned, and thus change the coordinate values of existing items.
The coordinated have been found by measuring each fruit from the center of the drawing (not center of mass, but center from left to right/top to bottom) to the two axes. The axes are hand drawn which is clearly visible. The numbers have been obtained be measuring to the nearest point of each axis, not taking into account that the axes are not perfect straight perpendicular lines.
|100%||68%||Peaches||Among Randall's favorite fruits, as it is the one deemed most tasty and it is far more tasty than the four fruits that are deemed easier to eat.|
|85%||13%||Seeded grapes||It is unclear why seeded grapes are shown as tastier.|
|75%||75%||Strawberries||Actually not a berry but an accessory fruit, like many of the other fruits on the chart|
|72%||100%||Seedless grapes||It is unclear why seeded grapes are shown as tastier.|
|68%||-100%||Pineapples||Requires a knife to prepare, and can be tricky to dissect without wasting a lot of of the fruit.|
|38%||42%||Cherries||Containing a stone/pit which may be annoying due to disposal of the sticky remains and taking care not to swallow them.|
|15%||-20%||Watermelons||Surprisingly considered by Randall to be easier than oranges, which are fairly easy to peel. A watermelon is larger, so the effort to reward ratio is better, but this should't affect its 'ease of eating' position.|
|-18%||16%||Bananas||Shown in the chart as difficult to eat, even though they are among the most easily peelable fruit. This could be because of the skin which must be disposed of, or the stringy pith which some people refuse to eat and thus have to pick off.|
|-20%||-85%||Pomegranates||Pomegranates have a very large number of nonedible seeds.|
|-46%||-49%||Oranges||Considered more difficult than lemons, perhaps due to the layer of pith which is rarely encountered when preparing lemons.|
|-74%||26%||Tomatoes||Often claimed to be a vegetable. In the botanical sense however, it is actually a fruit (or a berry).|
|-86%||-75%||Grapefruit||According to the chart, the third hardest fruit to eat as well as the second most untasty fruit (from the ones listed at least). Eating one of them is like spending too much of one's time and energy without much reward. Hence Randall's quip in the title: "Fuck grapefruit".|
|-100%||-15%||Lemons||Considered easier than oranges, perhaps due to the layer of pith which is rarely encountered when preparing lemons.|
|<-100%||<-100%||Coconuts||Mentioned only in the title text. As Randall puts it, they are far more difficult to eat (especially to open) than the usual mainstream fruits such as the ones plotted here, and once open Randall doesn't even like the taste. Therefore, they could not even fit on the chart because they are too far in the bottom-left corner. Having spent half an hour trying (in vain?) to open a coconut, Randall has superseded the previous "worst fruit" in the title: "Fuck coconuts".|
As evident from the above section, and according to FRUIT OPINIONS! on the Blag, this was the most controversial comic written to this point, beating out comics about cunnilingus, the Obama endorsement, and my making 4chan tiny on the map of the internet.
- Cunnilingus see 136: Science Fair.
- The Obama endorsement See Politics also from the Blag.
- 4chan is tiny on the map of the internet called 256: Online Communities. (See the small island to the far right - left of "dragons" in the sentence Here there be anthromorphic dragons.)
- Not to be confused with the comic that is actually named 195: Map of the Internet.
- [An X-Y plot of fruit where both axes have arrows in both ends. At the end of each arrow is a label.]
- [The X-axis from left to right:]
- [The Y-axis from top to bottom:]
- [The fruit names are listed here below from top to bottom according to the how tasty the fruit is, not necessarily in the same order that the names are written if one fruit is tall/large and the other low:]
- Seeded grapes
- Seedless grapes
- Green apples
- Red apples
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