388: Fuck Grapefruit

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Fuck Grapefruit
Coconuts are so far down to the left they couldn't be fit on the chart. Ever spent half an hour trying to open a coconut with a rock? Fuck coconuts.
Title text: Coconuts are so far down to the left they couldn't be fit on the chart. Ever spent half an hour trying to open a coconut with a rock? Fuck coconuts.

[edit] Explanation

This comic consists in a chart where Randall plotted fruits according to two criteria: ease/difficulty to eat, and tastiness. For instance, pineapples are deemed fairly tasty but very difficult to eat, whereas (seeded) grapes are very tasty and rather easy, and logically seedless grapes are equally tasty while being far more easy at the same time.

Obviously being easy to eat is preferable to being difficult, and being tasty is preferable to being untasty, so the "best" fruits (regarding these two aspects only) are in the top-right corner, and the worst in the bottom-left one; additionally, in the top-left corner are the "difficult-but-worthy" fruits, and in the bottom-right one, the "not-so-tasty-but-easy-anyway" ones.

According to the resulting chart, grapefruit is the third hardest fruit to eat as well as the second most untasty fruit (from the ones listed at least) - see the Table. Eating one of them is like spending too much of one's time and energy without much reward. Hence: Fuck grapefruit.

From the chart/table it should then also be clear that peaches are Randall's favorite fruit as it is the one deemed most tasty and it is far more tasty than the four fruits that are deemed easier to eat.

The title text adds a joke about coconuts, concerning the fact that they are far more difficult to eat (especially to open) than the usual mainstream fruits such as the ones plotted here, and once open Randall doesn't even like the taste. Therefore, 1) coconuts could not fit on the chart because they are too far down to the left (or if they had been put in the chart, they would have relegated all the other fruits on the far top right, all equally easy to eat in comparison to coconuts and therefore indiscernible from each other); and 2) having spent half an hour trying (in vain?) to open a coconut, Randall has the following comment on that: Fuck coconuts.

Although it is called a nut, the coconut is actually a stone fruit and thus belongs on a chart of fruit. Along these lines of thought many would claim that the tomato is a vegetable. But it is actually a fruit in the botanical sense (or a berry - but Randall has already included for instance Blueberries). But then he might as well have included a cucumber which in this sense is also a fruit. See for instance the description on this List of culinary fruits. The strawberry is actually not a berry but an accessory fruit, like many of the other fruits on the chart.

It is clear from this chart that Randall is not much into any kind of citrus fruit. Although it would have been interesting to see where he would have placed the more sweet and often much more peal-able mandarin and especially the hybrid clementine. (This could resemble the comparison of seeded vs. seedless grapes - and why are the seeded grapes more tasty?). It is a mystery why he would think that a lemon is easier to eat (or peal) than an orange. And whereas it is clear that you need a knife to begin eating a pineapple, thus making this very difficult to eat, you cold say the same for watermelon! So why should he consider this easier to eat than for instance oranges, that are fairly easy to peal? Similar it seems weird that he thinks that bananas are rather difficult to eat. It is the most easily peal-able fruit in the world[citation needed]. However you are left with a rather large peal, that you should not just drop in nature or on a street (where people always slip in them...) Maybe this explains that they should be more difficult to eat? For instance many would think it more annoying that something had a stone like peaches and cherries. This is however clearly not the case for Randall, and this comic is all about his opinions - see below.

According to FRUIT OPINIONS! on the Blag, this was the most controversial comic written to this point, beating out comics about cunnilingus, the Obama endorsement, and my making 4chan tiny on the map of the internet.

[edit] Table

The comic shows an X-Y plot of fruit, showing tastiness on the vertical axis and difficulty-of-consumption on the horizontal axis. The Y-axis goes from "tasty" at the top, to "untasty" at the bottom. The X-axis goes from "easy" on the right to "difficult" on the left.

Below is a table listing the coordinate for each fruit according to how tasty it is and assuming that the extremes of each axis goes from -100% to 100% (untasty = -tasty and difficult = -easy). Note that this does not agree with the title text since coconuts would be off the charts. However the extremes for both tasty and untasty as well as for easy and difficult are equally far from the main axis.

The coordinated have been found by measuring each fruit from the center of the drawing (not center of mass, but center from left to right/top to bottom) to the two axises. The axises are hand drawn which is clearly visible. The numbers have been obtained be measuring to the nearest point of each axis, not taking into account that the axises are not perfect straight perpendicular lines.

Tastiness Easiness Fruit
100% 68% Peaches
85% 100% Seeded grapes
75% 75% Strawberries
72% 13% Seedless grapes
68% -100% Pineapples
58% 87% Blueberries
38% 42% Cherries
37% 66% Pears
22% 79% Green apples
17% 59% Plums
15% -20% Watermelons
-12% 79% Red apples
-18% 16% Bananas
-20% -85% Pomegranates
-46% -49% Oranges
-74% 26% Tomatoes
-86% -75% Grapefruit
-100% -15% Lemons

[edit] Transcript

[An X-Y plot of fruit where both axises have arrows in both ends. At the end of each arrow is a label.]
[The X-axis from left to right:]
Difficult
Easy
[The Y-axis from top to bottom:]
Tasty
Untasty
[The fruit names are listed here below from top to bottom according to the how tasty the fruit is, not necessarily in the same order that the names are written if one fruit is tall/large and the other low:]
Peaches
Seeded grapes
Strawberries
Seedless grapes
Pineapples
Blueberries
Cherries
Pears
Green apples
Plums
Watermelons
Red apples
Bananas
Pomegranates
Oranges
Tomatoes
Grapefruit
Lemons
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Discussion

Why are seeded grapes deemed more tasty than seedless grapes? Them seeds taste awful and bitter when you accidentally bite into them. Davidy22 (talk) 12:22, 14 October 2012 (UTC)

  • Yeah! And red apples are clearly more tasty than green (unless you're using them for cooking), and bananas are the tastiest fruit ever! In other words, it's all subjective. (You might argue that the seeds add to the flavour, much like a small amout of fat in meat; obviously the fact that they're less easy implies pulling all the seeds out first to make sure you don't bite one.) 94.0.161.247 10:34, 28 November 2012 (UTC)
  • Seedless grapes (and seedless versions of other fruits) are often considered to be slightly less tasty than their seeded counterparts because a compromise was made: putting all efforts toward being tasty and easy to grow, versus dividing the effort between those and making them seedless. Additionally, some seedless fruits (including certain brands or breeds) are simply less mature versions of their seedless equivalent (this is part of why some bunches of seedless grapes have seeds in many of the fruits, albeit smaller and/or fewer seeds than the seeded equivalent). It's also possible that the y-axis difference between the two was unintentional, but there's enough of a difference that I'm strongly in favor of interpreting it as intentional. JET73L (talk) 17:34, 8 February 2013 (UTC)

I disagree with the placement of bananas and pears. They are both really easy and reasonably tasty (although taste is a matter of personal preference).75.69.96.225 21:54, 11 March 2013 (UTC)

  • Problem is, pomegranates burn calories instead of adding to them. Unless you get pre-picked. There should be a third axis, but alas, with a webcomic, it is not possible. 108.162.216.45 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Fyi to open a coconut, do not smash a rock against the coconut, smash the coconut against the rock! 193.188.240.138 14:30, 26 July 2013 (UTC)

A rock? Is this a deserted island scenario you're describing? Most households have something called a hammer. Tharkon (talk) 03:24, 23 November 2013 (UTC)
A hammer? Is this a woodwork shed scenario? ;) A professional coconut opener uses one or two strokes from the blunt side of a machete on the equator of the coconut. I still agree with Randall on the difficulty, though. More specialized equipment is neeeded to separate the copra. And it's not tasty either.Mumiemonstret (talk) 09:05, 17 June 2014 (UTC)

Is there a program do make charts looking like these? With the little pictures in the chart. RecentlyChanged (talk) 13:26, 26 November 2013 (UTC)

Yes. The program is called "Paper and Pencil; and something to color them."SarcasticMoe (talk) 25:61, 26 November 2013 (UTC)

The transcript needs fixing. It is currently inaccurate in places, like, for example, strawberries in the comic are placed below seeded grapes on the tastiness axis, but the transcript says that strawberries are tastier than seeded grapes. Also, the transcript is missing seedless grapes. 108.162.216.45 03:48, 23 December 2013 (UTC)

I have changed the transcrip so that the explanation part is removed. And this part I have now added as a table and in this corrected the numbers so strawberries and grapes are in the correct order etc. At the same time I made many other corrections and improvements for the entire explanation. --Kynde (talk) 10:22, 12 January 2015 (UTC)

While I disagree with the rating in tastyness... Then it is true that bananas is more difficult to start eating than fruit without peel - like pears. However, bananas are very easy to peel! And you do not get sticky as with a fresh pear. I thus think it is easier to eat bananas than pears because of that.Kynde (talk) 07:30, 29 March 2014 (UTC)

It's all subjective anyway. I, for example consider bananas to be more tasty than pears. Tharkon (talk) 20:09, 8 August 2014 (UTC)
The problem with bananas which adds to their difficulty is that you have a rather large peel. You can't get away with just tossing your peel anywhere, too. Someone might slip on them. 173.245.48.181 19:58, 7 January 2015 (UTC)
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