478: The Staple Madness

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
Revision as of 12:43, 21 August 2013 by 83.243.48.2 (talk) (Undo revision 47179 by Dgbrt (talk). This is no discussion but a hint to those who keep on changing the transcript.)
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The Staple Madness
Staple guns: because duct tape can't make that 'kaCHUNK' noise.
Title text: Staple guns: because duct tape can't make that 'kaCHUNK' noise.

Explanation

No apparent literary or scientific references, this is just a comic sketch.

Optimistic Beret Guy can never take life seriously. He loves to play with everything, and nothing is more exciting than a tool that sticks things together with an impressive "kaChunk" sound when he pulls the trigger, even on things that shouldn't be stapled.

The title text refers to duct tape, which, with its combination of tensile and adhesive strength, is commonly regarded as the ultimate do-it-yourself repair tool.

Transcript

Beret Guy: I found Megan's staple gun!
[He holds up a staple gun.]
Cueball: [holding forehead] Oh no.
Cueball: [outside of the panel,] OH GOD WHAT ARE YOU-
Beret Guy: [kneeling at laptop, stapling DVD to laptop.] INSTALLING DEBIAN! KA CHUNK
Beret Guy: SANDWICHES! ka CHUNK ka CHUNK
Beret Guy: [running with staple gun.] MUST AFFIX EVERYTHING TO EVERYTHING!
ka CHUNK ka CHUNK ka CHUNK ka CHUNK ka CHUNK ka CHUNK
[Megan enters holding tote bag.]
Megan: ...Have you been abusing my staple gun?
Beret Guy: No.
God: [outside of scene, as voice from above.] YES!

Trivia

  • There is an engineering truism which describes a similar scenario: "When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail."
  • From just reading the comic, one could think that in the last frame, Cueball has been stapled to the ceiling. According to the offical transcript, it is in fact God who is speaking.


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Discussion

Is it possible that Beret Guy stapled Cueball to the ceiling? 71.135.43.118 19:30, 7 August 2013 (UTC)

No, it's not that easy to staple a man to the ceiling. And the original transcript is clear:
  • Megan: ...HAVE YOU BEEN ABUSING MY STAPLE GUN?
  • Man with Beret: NO.
  • God: [[outside of scene, as voice from above]] YES!
God tells Megan the truth, not Cueball.--Dgbrt (talk) 19:38, 7 August 2013 (UTC)
The power of staples is greater than what your mortal mind can comprehend. RedHatGuy68 (talk) 03:34, 14 April 2016 (UTC)
I think it's pretty obvious that Cueball is stapled to the ceiling, since he was in the first few frames, and then was no longer there at the end, and it seems like all of the frames occur in the same building. I doubt cueball would have just left, so I'm guessing it's probably him... Ceiling Cueball. 173.245.56.180 16:30, 23 May 2015 (UTC)
I choose to believe that Berret Guy stapled God to the ceiling. 162.158.91.59 19:31, 14 January 2019 (UTC)

The comment from god is rather like dinosaur comics.78.144.232.6 20:38, 20 August 2013 (UTC)

The whole "staple-crazy $HAT Guy" thing isn't as original as you'd think: [1]. Also, some of this is pertinent. Yep, Beret Guy is clearly Beriah (punny, eh?) as much as Black Hat is Aram. --79.241.123.239 09:32, 9 September 2013 (UTC)

my reading is that the "yes" comes from someone stapled to the ceiling . . . 108.162.225.135 20:31, 22 April 2014 (UTC)
Since he can do the ridiculous such as stapling an OS into a computer... Weatherlawyer (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

...there's no way that voice is actually God, I don't care what the transcript says. Having that be God would be non-sequitur and not all that funny, while if it was Cueball it would make sense and be quite funny. Just some random derp 23:58, 21 June 2015 (UTC)

if GOD is saying something than beret gey did something wrong. Overlord of oddities (talk) 02:22, 12 March 2020 (UTC)

One of my favorites. --Char Latte49 (talk) 02:10, 15 March 2021 (UTC)

installing debian... argh An user who has no account yet (talk) 00:23, 7 September 2023 (UTC)