527: Keynote

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Keynote

[[File:keynot ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAK ALLIGATOR SOYJAKe.png||He should be better soon -- now that the Apple Store is getting rid of DRM, Cory Doctorow will get rid of his Steve Jobs voodoo doll.]] Title text: He should be better soon -- now that the Apple Store is getting rid of DRM, Cory Doctorow will get rid of his Steve Jobs voodoo doll.

Explanation

According to this comic, Steve Jobs, the founder of the Apple company, lost a lot of weight due to a hormonal problem. (Though never officially confirmed, this was likely related to Jobs's battle with pancreatic cancer, which he had been fighting for years and would frequently lead to speculation about his health at the time of this comic.) Black Hat then mentions that Apple was probably excited to announce its thinnest and lightest CEO in the industry. This comment is a parody of Apple's tendency to release thinner and lighter iterations of its products. Steve Jobs' weight loss would certainly make him a thinner and lighter CEO.

The title text refers to Cory Doctorow, a blogger, journalist and science-fiction author. Doctorow is opposed to the technology called Digital restrictions management (DRM for short). DRM is designed to be abused by large corporations with negative consequences for consumers, but is disguised as a copyright protection system. Randall (jokingly) proposes that Steve Jobs is only sick because Doctorow was torturing him with Voodoo dolls for Apple's use of DRM.

Transcript

[Black Hat talking to Cueball sitting at computer.]

Cueball: Huh - Steve Jobs isn't doing a keynote this year, citing massive weight loss due to some hormonal problem.

Black Hat: Too bad. I bet Apple was excited about unveiling the thinnest and lightest CEO in the industry.

Trivia

Steve Jobs died on October 5, 2011 of pancreatic cancer the day before Randall released 961: Eternal Flame. Presumably, the cancer was the cause of Jobs' weight loss, although it was not public information at the time the comic was posted.

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Discussion

Of course, with the benefit of hindsight we can be fairly sure that this all arose either because of more severe health problems than hinted at or more severe medication to attempt to overcome what was happening. 31.111.87.233 08:45, 28 May 2013 (UTC)

I don't think voodoo was the cause.

And I am not vindictive enough to believe that any man deserves a shit liver because he is greedy and rich.

But... Nobody strapped him to a chair and forced rich food down his gullet. I used Google News BEFORE it was clickbait (talk) 19:22, 30 January 2015 (UTC)

Huh? He died of cancer, not gout. I don't think you can blame a cancer victim for their cancer. 108.162.216.99 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

He didn't eat a lot of "rich people food". From what I've read, he didn't eat much and fasted a lot. He died because he didn't take cancer treatment. User:Nafedalbi 12:45 AM UTC 2/15/2022

This comic now seems somewhat unfortunate. Randall has been known to edit comics after they are posted, though not (as far as I know) for such reasons. I have the faint wish he would do so for this one. Just something to make it less ... flippant. 108.162.219.223 23:05, 23 December 2013 (UTC)