783: I Don't Want Directions

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I Don't Want Directions

Title text: Yes, I understand that the turn is half a mile past the big field, but my GPS knows that, too. This would be easier if you weren't about to ask me to repeat it all back to you.

Explanation

Cueball wants to use his GPS to find an individual's house, and therefore needs the house's address. The person on the phone is giving him directions, something that is useless because by giving Cueball the address, the GPS can give directions to the address, possibly better than the ones he is getting over the phone. Cueball then decides to tell the person that he would like to mail something to their house, hoping they will give him the address, because you must have the address to mail something.

The title text is a continuation of the comic's joke, highlighting one more disadvantage of getting directions over the phone: that the other person will ask Cueball to repeat the directions to ensure he recorded them correctly, thereby doubling the time the process takes.

Transcript

[Full body shot of man on phone.]

Man: Looking forward to seeing your new place! What's the address? -- Mm hmm. Yes, I'm taking 495. But I have a GPS, so I really just need the street address.

[Close up.]

Man: ...then south on 18, okay, but I have a GPS, so if you just want to skip to the street address, I can...

[Full body shot, facing other direction.]

Man: Thanks, I'm glad to know Highland Road comes a mile after the big intersection, but I keep saying I have a GPS, can you tell me the street address? ... Technically that's just more information on how to get to your place, not the address itself. If you could--

[Close up again, man writing on pad.]

Man: ...I appreciate that you want to help, but I'm ignoring you and just waiting for the... Listen, I just remembered I need to mail you a letter. What's your address? -- Mhm... okay... Great, Thanks! I'll see you in an hour!

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Discussion

Are you sure the postman can find his way? Maybe you need to put the directions on the letter, just to be safe. Davidy²²[talk] 02:33, 24 April 2013 (UTC)

Unless you're using Apple Maps on an iPhone 5S. Watch out for those runways. 74.140.141.101 18:16, 5 October 2013 (UTC)

Am I the only one that doesn't automatically assume the GPS knows best? I always look it up anyway... especially in Houston where there are a lot of roads that the system thinks is "divided," so it will try to route you in a circuitous way to ensure you can make a right-turn in (when in reality it is totally possible to make the left turn). 108.162.220.23 15:52, 9 April 2014 (UTC)

No. In Britain GPS systems usually assume the motorways are quickest when in Britain the motorways are usually clogged.

It was 2010, so it was before when smartphones got this popular. 141.101.85.204 05:39, 17 June 2015 (UTC)

I used Google News BEFORE it was clickbait (talk) 17:10, 26 January 2015 (UTC)

If someone insists on giving directions, listen to them; it may mean the place isn't where maps think it is, or they give a road that's not there or something. At least three addresses in my immediate family have this problem to some degree.108.162.221.16 18:59, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

• Agreed: in my area, people may have adress "house X", but with "access via dead end Y" 172.68.11.243 05:30, 28 July 2020 (UTC)