Title text: "Upgrade to the latest version of Adobe Flash player to view THIS content, bitch." ::triggers detonator::
In this comic, Randall presents a series of phrases, ordered by how likely they are to be used as a one-liner by a character in an action movie. One-liners are short, punchy phrases, typically witty or funny, and are routinely used in films by the antagonist to taunt the protagonist (or vice versa). The perfect one-liner leaves the recipient at a loss for a comeback, and should make sense immediately. If the phrase doesn't make sense or has to be explained, the effect is lost.
While the phrases shown start off adhering to the witty and punchy stereotype of the one-liner, they quickly become absurb and non-sensical.
|1||You're going down the memory hole now, asshole.||The Memory hole is a mechanism for redacting documents, photographs, etc., and a reference to George Orwell's novel Nineteen Eighty-Four. In this instance it implies that the character on the floor is about to be 'erased' from existance.|
|2||Hey! You forgot to carry the two.||Cueball, who appears to be at an advantage since he has a gun and his opponent only has a knife, is pointing out an arithmetic error in his opponent's calculations. This may simply be Cueball adding insult to injury "I'm about to shoot you, but first I'm going to point out that you suck at maths". Alternativly, it could be a ruse to distract the knife wielding opponent, or a case of well-timed nerd-sniping.|
|3||Looks like the Fed just lowered the interest rate.||The Federal Reserve System, usually referred to as The Fed, is the central banking system in the United States. While interest rates are usually lowered during a recession or a crisis, this phrase appears to be completely out of context, and lacks any humor.|
|4||Guess you should've scrolled all the way to the bottom before clicking "Agree."||A common feature encountered when registering for user accounts or installing software is a very lengthy Terms of service document, describing the things you agree to abide by. The vast majority of people simply click Agree without reading the document, essentially agreeing to anything and everything that the author decided to include. In the context of this panel, perhaps the user agreed to be executed at random.|
|5||Bangarang, motherfucker.||This phrase is very similar to the line "Yippee-Ki-Yay motherfucker" used by John McClane in the Die Hard series. Bangarang is, among other things, the Jamaican word for "uproar." It was popularized (without the addition of 'motherfucker') as the cheer of the lost boys in the film Hook.|
The title text is another suggested one-liner phrase, referring to an update reminder that frequently pops up when one attempts to view Adobe Flash content on a webpage. After delivering the line, the character triggers a detonator (Double colons are sometimes used in text to denote an action), presumably setting of an explosive of some kind. It is highly likely that the character will then calmly stride towards the camera as he puts on a pair of sunglasses, the fireball growing to huge proportions in the background.
The sentence doesn't make much sense, and is too convoluted and wordy for an effective one-liner, which suggests that this is a continuation of the scale towards 'Less Likely'. This phrase also proves that simply adding Bitch, Asshole, Motherfucker or similar to the end of a phrase does not necessarily turn it into a great one-liner.
- Probability of phrases becoming action movie one liners:
- [Panels are arranged from More Likely on the left to Less likely on the right.]
- [A woman points a gun down at a man who is on the floor, his gun just out of reach.]
- Woman: You're going down the memory hole now, asshole.
- [Man on ground points gun up at blade-armed man standing next to a board with science on it.]
- Man with gun: Hey! You forgot to carry the two.
- [Woman on desk points sword at man standing on floor.]
- Woman: Looks like the Fed just lowered the interest rate.
- [Man with gun looks down at woman slumped on floor.]
- Man: Guess you should've scrolled all the way to the bottom before clicking "Agree."
- [Woman holds pistol to the back of the head of another woman holding a rifle.]
- Woman with pistol: Bangarang, motherfucker.