Editing 2661: Age Milestone Privileges

{{comic
| number    = 2661
| date      = August 19, 2022
| title     = Age Milestone Privileges
| image     = age_milestone_privileges.png
| titletext = If you reach 122, you get complete unrevertible editorial control over Jeanne Calment's Wikipedia article.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BABY GOD-EMPRESS MAKING THE PRESIDENT'S LETTER R-RATED - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This is a list of "age milestones" in the United States. As usual for Randall, he has added many fictional entries to supplement some real life ones.

{| class="wikitable"
! Age || Privilege || Description
|-
| 16 || Drive || Legal driving age varies by state in the US. In Randall's state of Massachusetts, 16 is the minimum age to apply for a learner's permit.
|-
| 17 || Attend R-Rated movies alone ||In the US, the Motion Picture Association assigns {{w|Motion_Picture_Association_film_rating_system|ratings}} to movies based on whether content in said movie is generally acceptable to present to minors. A rating of "R" is supposed to prohibit viewing by minors under 17 years of age unless a parent or guardian accompanies them.
|-
| 18 || Vote || The Twenty-sixth Amendment to the United States Constitution prevents a minimum age of voting from being set above eighteen but does not preclude a minimum age below eighteen. Some states allow 17-year-olds to vote in primaries if they must be allowed to vote in the general election, but Randall's state of Massachusetts is not one of them.
|-
| 21 || Buy Alcohol || In the US, the legal drinking age is 21 years, although other countries have a lower drinking age. For example, in Japan the legal age to drink is 20; whilst in the UK a person as young as 16 may have alcohol with a meal, although they are not allowed to buy it themselves.
|-
| 25 || Rent a car || Car rental companies charge higher rates for underage drivers; typically the minimum age is 25.
|-`e
| 30 || Run for Senate || This entry is slightly incorrect: one must be at least 30 years old in order to ''become'' Senator, not ''run'' for Senate. Joe Biden was 29 years old when he was first elected to Senate but turned 30 before being sworn in.
|-
| 32 || Rent a Senator's Car || This is the first joke entry in the table. For one thing, most Senators do not rent out their cars, which they probably need to use regularly themselves because they have jobs{{Citation needed}} to commute to, and it would be a security hazard to allow random strangers access to their vehicle.
|-
| 35 || Run for president || In the US a person must be at least 35 years old to be eligible to the Office of President.
|-
| 40 || Rent a flying car || A 25 year-old might be able to rent a non-flying car today, but not a flying car, because the technology is not mature enough to the point where they're available to rent. The joke is that by the time a 25 year-old reader becomes 40, the technology will exist and they'll be able to rent a flying car. Unlike the earlier lines, the limitation has nothing to do with their age, just technological development.
Alternatively, even once flying cars are developed, their usage will be more restricted. For example, young people are perceived to be more reckless and/or otherwise dangerous.

This whole issue may be virtually negated if the newly developed flying cars are introduced only as ''self-''flying cars (an off-shoot of self-driving technology but devoid of many of the dangers of navigating roads, i.e. person-controlled vehicles, pedestrians and other ground-based hazards), in which case the age (or even presence) of the renter may be very much more irrelevent than the nature of any route/destination the guidance computer is tasked to fulfil. The question would then be how much a potential passenger would trust pure electronics to avoid all the actual dangers for what is essentially a flying taxi, compared to a human controller who may be fallible but presumably at least has their own fully-developed common-sense and a degree of self-preservation as well as any requisite training.
|-
| 45 || Learn about the god-empress || Obviously, the god-empress does not actually exist because this comic is visible to people under 45 years old.{{Citation needed}} According to [[1413]], she will be public knowledge by 2040 anyway.
|-
| 50 || Join AARP || Full AARP (formerly called the American Association of Retired Persons) membership is available to anyone age 50 and over. {{w|AARP}}
|-
| 50 || Get a shingles vaccine || At the time of the comic, the [https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vpd/shingles/public/shingrix/index.html CDC recommended] that adults 50 years and older get the shingles vaccine called Shingrix (this line was not in the original version of the comic, corrected later)
|-
| 52 || Click to skip captchas || Older people might have more difficulty understanding captchas. Also, they could be more inconvenienced because some older people move more slowly, so it would take them longer to move the mouse, and people would care more about older people anyway. However, this would be impractical to implement because if the computer knew the person's age, it would know that the user is a person, not a bot, so there would be no point in a captcha anyway.
|-
| 55 || Vote for god-empress || It appears that a person must have knowledge of the existence of the god-empress for ten years before they are sufficiently qualified to elect a new one. Since the god-empress is (presumably) in power for life, it is likely that most people would have to wait much longer than ten years.
|-
| 62 || $80 national parks lifetime pass || https://www.nps.gov/planyourvisit/passes.htm
|-
| 65 || Eligible for Medicare || Medicare is a US government-run health insurance for older people.
|-
| 67 || Collect Social Security || U.S. individuals may collect reduced Social Security benefits starting at age 62, and they can collect increased Social Security benefits if they wait until age 70.
|-
| 68 || See "Skip ads" button on live tv || Some DVRs and streaming applications have a feature to skip over commercial breaks in recorded programs, but this could not be available in live TV, since it would require jumping forward in time. Time travel is currently impossible.{{citation needed}} ||
|-
| 70 || Run for God-empress || The name suggests that this would also only be available to women.
|-
| 75 || Ride any animal in a national park || The National Parks Service probably could institute this relatively safely because most people over 75 would not be able to run fast enough to outrun/catch up to an animal and mount it{{Citation needed}} and would not have the rebellious/risk-taking/adventurous streak that would incline them to try.{{Citation needed}}
|-
| 80 || Eligible for Megacare || This is based off of becoming eligible for Medicare at age 65.
|-
| 85 || Click to toggle whether an ad is positive or negative about the product ||
|-
| 90 || Click to make any movie R-rated || It is unclear whether this would actually make the movie less appropriate or change the Motion Picture Association's rating to be erroneous. Also, what if the rating was previously NC-17?
|-
| 100 || Get a letter from the president || In the US (which other milestones, such as running for president starting at age 35, indicate is the country being referred to), you instead get congratulated by the weatherman on the {{w|Today Show}}. However, the United Kingdom is much closer. People there receive a card (formerly a telegram, later a TeleMessage) from the Queen on their 100th birthday. (This is not automatic, but must be applied for.)
|-
| 102 || (35+67) Collect a presidential pension || The idea behind this joke is that it is the minimum age of presidency plus the minimal age to collect Social Security. There are several reasons why this must be a joke. Two are that Social Security begins 67 years after the person was born, not 67 years after the person's job started, and that the United States government would not bother to set up such a system because the vast majority of people, including former presidents, do not live to 102 years old. In fact, as of 2022, no former United States president has ever lived to 102 years old.
|-
| 105 || Get a birthday card from the god-empress || Being a god-empress would be more important than being the leader of a single country. This would make the god-empresses's time more valuable, so she only has to sent a birthday card to the few people who reach the age of 105.
|-
| 111 || Leave your own birthday party early by putting on a magic ring || This is a reference to the Lord of the Rings where Bilbo leaves his eleventy-first birthday party (the Bilbo Baggins Farewell Birthday Party) invisibly by using The One Ring.
|-
| 118 || Vote 100 times || Presumably a joke meaning the person can vote 100 times in each election. If there were one election at the same time each year, this would actually be the 101st vote the person is eligible to cast in their lifetime. If the sole election of each year were held at a different time of each year, someone who voted in every election might vote for the 100th time at either age 116, 117, or 118. However this milestone would happen earlier because there are often multiple elections per year, e.g., primaries, general elections, and possibly runoffs.
|-
| 120 || Collect the pensions of all elected officials ||
|-
| 125 || Drink alcohol in an R-rated movie while getting a shingles vaccine from the president || This entry references four earlier milestones (attending an R-rated movie, drinking alcohol, becoming President, and getting the shingles vaccine) whose corresponding ages (17, 21, 35, and 50) sum to 123. While not exactly 125, this may have contributed to the inspiration or age selection of this milestone. 
|-
| 128 || Age rolls over, become a baby again || {{w|Integer overflow}} happens in computers when there are not enough bits (binary digits) to store the result of a calculation. For example, an unsigned 7-bit number can hold the values 0 to 127 (127 being 2<sup>7</sup> - 1). When calculating 127+1, a computer might store the value 0 instead of 128, discarding the highest bit. This is also called rollover, and usually happens in computers at powers of two, such as 128.

7-bit numbers are uncommon in today's computers. 8-bit numbers are more common. In signed 8-bit, the value 128 would become either -128 or -0 (depending upon implementation), which means you could have a weird experience of your next phase of life. For unsigned integers of one byte, the correct rollover number would be 256.

However, maybe the system uses just 7 bits (the 8th bit often used to be reserved for parity, or other flagging purposes, and otherwise stripped/ignored) if it has never before needed an eighth bit and this had once seemed like a sufficient form of data-packing with no expectation that this limit would be reached. Computers using such systems would have a Y2K-analogous bug once someone actually reached 128 years old, where anomalous processing might indicate the person to be a baby (or fail in other ways). But that would not have happened yet.

|}



The title text mentions {{w|Jeanne Calment}}, who holds the record for the oldest person ever (there are biblical references to older people, such as {{w|Methuselah}}, who supposedly lived to 969, but their ages haven't been verified). She reportedly was age 122 when she died in 1997. There's some controversy whether Calment actually claimed her mother's records, including birth certificate, as her own. "Editing wars" have been fought over her Wikipedia page. Randall claims that if you match her age you get sole editorial control over that article. However, if anyone managed to exceed her achieved age, presumably they would get their own page (albeit that they should not be encouraged to {{w|Wikipedia:Editing Your Own Page|edit it}} themselves) and hers would cease to be as interesting -  although that might depend on what use is made of the unparalleled editorial control now granted.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

<big>Age Milestones</big><br>
and associated privileges

16&nbsp; Drive<br>
17&nbsp; Attend R-rated movies alone<br>
18&nbsp; Vote<br>
21&nbsp; Buy alcohol<br>
25&nbsp; Rent a car<br>
32&nbsp; Run for senate<br>
35&nbsp; Run for president<br>
40&nbsp; Rent a flying car<br>
45&nbsp; Learn about the God-Empress<br>
50&nbsp; Join AARP<br>
50&nbsp; Get a shingles vaccine<br>
52&nbsp; Click to skip captchas<br>
55&nbsp; Vote for God-Empress<br>
62&nbsp; $80 National parks lifetime pass<br>
65&nbsp; Eligible for Medicare<br>
67&nbsp; Collect Social Security<br>
68&nbsp; See "Skip Ads" button on live TV<br>
70&nbsp; Run for God-Empress<br>
75&nbsp; Ride any animal in a national park<br>
80&nbsp; Eligible for MegaCare<br>
85&nbsp; Click to toggle whether any ad is positive or negative about the product<br>
90&nbsp; Click to make any movie R-rated<br>
100&nbsp; Get a letter from the president<br>
102&nbsp; (35+67) Collect a presidential pension<br>
105&nbsp; Get a birthday card from the God-Empress<br>
111&nbsp; Leave your own birthday party early by putting on a magic ring<br>
118&nbsp; Vote 100 times<br>
120&nbsp; Collect the pensions of all elected officials<br>
125&nbsp; Drink alcohol in an R-rated movie while getting a shingles vaccine from the president<br>
128&nbsp; Age rolls over, become a baby again

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]] <!-- Jeanne Calment -->
[[Category:Wikipedia]]