Editing 3022: Making Tea

{{comic
| number    = 3022
| date      = December 9, 2024
| title     = Making Tea
| image     = making_tea_2x.png
| imagesize = 690x291px
| noexpand  = true
| titletext = No, of course we don't microwave the mug WITH the teabag in it. We microwave the teabag separately.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Microwaved by a TUMBLR THREAD FULL OF LUNATICS - Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
{{w|Tea}} is exceptionally popular in the United Kingdom (although [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4gpll9l535o decreasingly so]). Virtually every home has an electric kettle as a standard appliance with teapots and other related crockery being found in many cupboards, or even on a shelf in full display. British people are perceived as taking tea seriously, having very specific and strongly held opinions on the proper way to make tea. In contrast, tea is less commonplace in the United States of America (Randall's native country) and owning separate devices for tea-making is probably far less common than having coffee-makers of various kinds. While some households have kettles that can be put on a stove top, many do not have any specific device to boil water. As a result, when Americans need a cup of hot water — for tea or otherwise — the options are usually to use a pan on the stove or to simply microwave a mug of water (the latter probably being more common in modern times). {{w|Instant hot water dispenser|Instant hot water taps}} are also common in many homes, water coolers, and public drinking fountains in the US; they are being marketed for "high-end kitchens" in the UK, in particularly fancy multi-function taps (US: 'faucets'), but the British are still somewhat reluctant to accept the 'mixer tap' concept, and probably will take quite some time to accept that tea-appropriate boiling water can be obtained directly from the sink's plumbing.

British people are stereotyped as taking genuine offense to microwaved water, believing it to be an objectively incorrect way to make tea. Randall mocks this stereotype through exaggeration, saying British people would be significantly less offended by someone stealing {{w|Crown Jewels of the United Kingdom|the Crown Jewels}} and using those for tea-making than they would be by tea made with a cup of microwaved water.

===Methods mentioned===
;Making it in a kettle
:Perhaps an intentional misnomer. Water may be ''boiled'' in a kettle, but the tea itself is made in a separate {{w|teapot}}, with loose or bagged tea-leaves, ready for pouring into any number of {{w|teacup}}s, {{w|mug}}s or {{w|vacuum flask|thermos flask}} as required. Making tea actually ''in'' the kettle, by placing the tea in with the water and then boiling it, would be considered ''very'' bad form (and likely void your warranty). Making the boiling water in a kettle, however, is standard practice (occasionally a {{w|Water heating|potable water geyser}} or similar may be available), leaving the tea-making process to occur in the teapot (as above) or the drinking vessel (as below).

;Boiling water in a pot, steeping in a mug
:Identical to the basic boiling process above, except using a pot (commonly called a 'saucepan' in the UK) on the stove, rather than a kettle. This is slightly less convenient than using a kettle (since the pan often lacks a dedicated spout for pouring, and either whistle, which the steam sounds when the water boils, or the automatic cut-off found on most electric kettles), but is otherwise functionally identical. Nonetheless, the comic suggests that Brits would take mild offense, considering it to be inferior to using a kettle.
:To confuse matters, British people would normally take '{{wiktionary|pot#Noun|pot}}' (in the specific context of tea-making) to be [https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/one+for+the+pot short for 'teapot']. However, a ceramic teapot should ''never'' be directly heated in the manner of a pan or a kettle. It should be filled with recently boiled (but not boiling) water, ''ideally'' after an initial small splash of hot water is swirled around it to 'condition' the teapot and then the requisite number of teabags (or quantity of tealeaves) dropped in.

;Making it in a chalice and ampulla stolen from the Crown Jewels
:A {{w|chalice}} is an ornate type of cup; an {{w|ampulla}} is a type of flask or bottle. Both are typically now terms used in relation to objects used in ritual. Randall is likely drawing a parallel here with the ritualism and particularity with which some people surround the making of tea and its associated artefacts.
:The {{w|Crown_Jewels_of_the_United_Kingdom|Crown Jewels}} are a set of items belonging the British monarchy, including ceremonial items and clothing using in royal coronations. These items have both major cultural significance, due to their historical connection with the monarchy, and major objective value, as many of them are heavily jeweled and/or made of precious metals. To steal items from these collection for the purpose of tea-making would obviously be both highly criminal and highly disrespectful. The ampulla referenced is used to anoint the monarch with oil during the coronation ceremony and the chalice may refer to a {{w|Eucharist|Communion vessel}}, giving them religious significance as well.
:More importantly for many, though, this would be incorrect tea-ware. The gold or silver chalices and gold ampulla are doubtful as being of suitable materials for British tea-making (as opposed to using cast iron, stainless steel, silver-plate, robust ceramics and/or fine china, for various stages of the process) and there'd definitely be some complaints that it does not taste like a proper cuppa. To use such objects to make tea would simply {{wiktionary|not cricket|not be cricket}}. 

;Microwaving a mug
:As mentioned above, heating water in a microwave, for any purpose, is considered acceptable and common in the US. To do so to make tea is considered uncommon and borderline heretical in the UK. The reasons for this are difficult to pin down. Some argue that the microwave doesn't allow proper control over the water temperature (which is considered vital for proper tea-making), but this position is questionable at best. Others raise the danger of superheating water which might boil over when the tea bag is added, but this is likely a highly overblown concern. Some people even argue that microwaving changes the quality or composition of the water in some way, but there's very little science to back that up. Most likely, the preparation of tea simply has a sense of tradition and ritual in Britain, and using a microwave feels crass, modern, and completely disconnected from the cultural associations of tea. It may also feel wrong because it inverts  the expectation that the hot water is poured over the tea, requiring instead that the tea be submerged in the water.
:The title text continues with this theme, by reassuring us that the microwaved mug doesn't have a teabag in it (analogous to the 'boiling tea-kettle' version). Instead, it is separately microwaved. In typical Randall fashion, this is pure farce: there is no reason to microwave a teabag. Microwave ovens heat water molecules almost exclusively, and tealeaves (and bag) should be dry before use, with no water molecules to heat. The wrongheadedness of this claim does little but provoke a skeptic's doubts about how utterly perverse this colonial variation on tea-making has become.

===Other tea controversies===

Other sources of controversy in the correct way to make tea are not covered in the comic. Perhaps primary among these is the question of the difference between making (and steeping) the tea in a teapot and pouring the water over a teabag in a mug.

The former tends to be a more formal method, to serve in polite company, ''or'' from the traditional need to prepare a large volume of tea for an indeterminate number of recipients and refills, such as in a canteen/cafeteria situation, where the 'pot' stays hot for almost as long as the supply lasts. A prepared teapot of tea allows a fairly consistent 'brew' that is readily poured out into teacups (or mugs) as and when required.

The latter method relies upon individual teabags or loose-leaf tea in an individual infuser, and lets each recipient leave the tea in for as long as they personally prefer (or end up having to), which reflects more individual flexibility. Again, this splits between 'high' and 'low' class use. The infamous "builders' tea" often has the teabag left in for a long time (even during drinking), with plenty of milk and sugar, to perhaps produce an increasingly dense brew as the workman concerned takes opportune sips as he (usually) can during his work. Conversely, the trend in more stylish restaurants and tearooms tends to be to supply each customer their teacup together with an individual small vessel of freshly boiled water (rarely more than one or two cups-worth) and the recipient's choices of bagged tea (including fruit/herbal) and additions (milk, or equivalent, lemon, etc, plus sweeteners of all kinds), letting them prepare their own infusion exactly in their own way.

Further noting the issue of whether the milk (not obligatory, but decisively traditional) should be put in ''before'' the tea (or teabag!) is also often considered {{tvtropes|SeriousBusiness|Serious Business}}...

==Transcript==
:[A line chart is shown. Above the chart are, from top to bottom, a heading, a subheading, and an arrow pointing right with a label above. On the line there are four labeled tick marks, with the labels written beneath the line. A small curved line is going from each label to below their tick. The first two ticks are close together on the far left side of the graph, the third is approximately in the center, and the fourth is on the far right side of the graph.] 
:<big>Ways of Making Tea</big>
:By how angry British people get when Americans do them
:More angry

:Making it in a kettle
:Boiling water in a pot, steeping in a mug
:Making it in a chalice and ampulla stolen from the Crown Jewels
:Microwaving a mug

{{comic discussion}}

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