| Latest revision |
Your text |
| Line 10: |
Line 10: |
| | | | |
| | ==Explanation== | | ==Explanation== |
| − | This is the 9th in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone]] series in which Randall explains his new joke phone designs with many strange and useless features. It is a reference to the somewhat recent {{w|Galaxy Z}} series, but instead of folding in half, it folds into the more complex and much less usable shape of a typical {{w|paper fortune teller}}. (A traditional paper fortune teller requires a square-shaped piece of material; to make this phone with a ~2:1 ratio rectangular shape into a fortune teller, it would first need to be folded in half lengthswise.) | + | {{incomplete|Created by THE BOT FORTOLD BY THE FORTUNETELLER PROPHECY - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}} |
| | + | This is the 9th in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone]] series in which Randall explains his new joke phone designs with many strange and useless features. It is a reference to the somewhat recent {{w|Galaxy Z}} series, but emulating the typical {{w|paper fortune teller}}. <!-- And there's much more to be said about this, I'm sure... --> |
| | | | |
| − | The product's slogan suggests that this was not an intended feature, which would be incredibly difficult to create accidentally without causing the phone to become nonfunctional. It's therefore possible that this phone was designed by [[:Category:Beret Guy's Business|Beret Guy's company]], which has in the past [[1493: Meeting|trademarked seemingly normal phrases]] and [[1293: Job Interview|done impossible things with electronics]].
| + | From the top, going clockwise: |
| | | | |
| − | The name Phone Flip is a play on the term {{w|Flip Phone}}, which has referred to older cellphones with a {{w|Clamshell design|basic hinged construction}}, but {{w|Samsung}}, in particular, has released a line of {{w|smartphones}} under the Galaxy Z range given the name 'Flip' (or 'Fold') which use a flexible display across the hinge, with {{w|Motorola Razr|other manufacturers}} producing similar technology by other names. Randall's version takes this complexity up a notch with a currently impractical varifolded origami design.
| + | ; Exfoliating Screen |
| | + | : A term commonly found on lotions and facial products, "exfoliating" means removing dead skin cells from the surface of the skin, in order to improve its appearance. This could mean that it will exfoliate when pressed to the skin. However, this would probably require a mildly abrasive and/or adhesive screen texture or coating, which are usually not desirable qualities of a touchscreen. |
| | | | |
| − | ===Left column features===
| + | ; Buy one get one |
| − | | + | : A play on the phrase "Buy one get one free" |
| − | ; Exfoliating screen | |
| − | : A term commonly found on lotions and facial products, "exfoliating" means removing dead skin cells from the surface of the skin, in order to improve its appearance. This could mean that it will exfoliate the user's skin when pressed to it. However, this would probably require a mildly abrasive and/or adhesive screen texture or coating, which are usually not desirable qualities of a touchscreen. A different reading is that the screen itself exfoliates, i.e. slowly disintegrates. Unless the phone is an organism able to regrow exfoliated surfaces, this will eventually lead to the screen's disappearance, not an improvement of its appearance. | |
| − | | |
| − | ; Orthotic shape for arch support
| |
| − | : {{w|Orthotics}} are devices used to reduce stress on the body. "Arch support" is a specific term referring to padded inserts designed to fit to the contour of a person's foot and provide support for the arch of the foot, a raised area between the ball in front and the heel in back. Fitting this space requires either a curved shape or one that's thicker in the center, which would usually make a phone less straightforward ([[No Pun Intended|pun not intended]]) to use. (This assumes, of course, that the foot is shaped like a "normal" human foot.) Additionally, the materials used in a phone are not typically suitable for orthotic usage and doing so could worsen any issues and damage the phone from the stress of the person's weight upon it. However, it's possible that in this context, the phone is ergonomically shaped to fit the way that the typical hand arches around it.
| |
| − | | |
| − | ; Single big pixel
| |
| − | : A joke about how phones advertise how many pixels they have, not how few. Typical phone displays use many small {{w|pixels}}, each with relatively few display states. For instance, each pixel can show a uniform color. It would be difficult to make a useful display with a single pixel of this sort. Some displays use smaller numbers of more complicated picture elements (e.g., each element could show a letter, like a {{w|split-flap display}}, or a {{w|nixie tube}}). To make a useful display with one pixel means that element needs a different display state for every image the phone can show (like a {{w|carousel slide projector}}, {{w|movie projector}}, or {{w|gobo (lighting)|gobo}}). This may also be a joke on "{{w|Megapixel}}".
| |
| − | | |
| − | ; Ready to eat
| |
| − | : A typical sales pitch for {{w|convenience foods}} denoting that no time must be spent preparing the product for safe consumption, in contrast to other such meals where ingredients would need to be combined and/or cooked in some fashion. It is unknown how a phone could be produced in such a way as to be edible (perhaps the display could use {{w|sugar glass}}), but in any case, it seems likely that eating it would limit its future usefulness as a phone.{{Citation needed}} An alternative interpretation is that the phone is alive and all ready to begin consuming its prey, whatever that may be.
| |
| − | | |
| − | ; Hypoimmunogenic
| |
| − | : Meaning less able to produce an immune response - so perhaps useful in that people do not want their phone to cause an immune response in their body, although cell phones typically cause no immune response. This is probably related to items that are marketed as hypoallergenic, less likely to cause an allergic reaction. It may also be a reference to persistent unsubstantiated claims that radio waves from mobile phones cause cancer and other disorders.
| |
| | | | |
| | ; Up to 50% more | | ; Up to 50% more |
| − | : A play on the words "Up to 50% more <product>". Although considering that there is no mention of what product there could possibly be 50% more of (or 0% extra, as that is ''also'' less than or equal to 50%), this statement is useless. See [[870: Advertising]]. | + | : A play on the words "Up to 50% more <blank>. Although considering that there is nothing in the blank, this statement is useless. See [[870: Advertising]]. |
| − | | |
| − | ; Full-spectrum backlight optimized for plant growth
| |
| − | : {{w|Full-spectrum light}}s and backlights are typically used to increase {{w|color rendering}} accuracy, especially important in photography, art, and printing. It typically refers to the part of the spectrum people can see. Plants respond to some wavelengths outside our visual spectrum (e.g., UVA), and are less influenced by some portions of the visual spectrum (e.g. green, hence mostly reflecting such light). A backlight optimized for plant growth would not provide a very natural appearance to our eyes and typically appear pink. The screen backlight is unlikely to be used for growing plants. One scenario in which this would be an advantage is at the end of the phone's useful life; instead of being recycled, it could be repurposed as a light in a greenhouse.
| |
| − | | |
| − | ; Long-lasting main sequence battery
| |
| − | : Perhaps referring to a "{{w|main sequence}}" star (Dwarf stars, like the {{w|Sun}}, where main energy generation is hydrogen fusion). Such stars spend a long time in this phase of evolution. This might also explain SPF 15 and full-spectrum backlight. Stars do last a long time compared to most cell phone batteries. This feature might be a reference to [[1422: My Phone is Dying]].
| |
| − | | |
| − | ; Break glass to access apps
| |
| − | : A play on how emergency paraphernalia such as fire alarms and extinguishers are protected by glass casings in most places. The idea of this is to discourage removal of these items except in an emergency situation. It would not be helpful in the case of smartphone apps, which are frequently used. Presumably you would have to replace the glass each time you use an app, which is likely to prove tedious and expensive. Unusual things behind glass is also mentioned in [[1634: In Case of Emergency]]. Could also refer to the process of Jailbreaking a smartphone, such as an iPhone, to allow the install of 3rd party apps from an alternate app store.
| |
| − | | |
| − | ===Right column features===
| |
| − | | |
| − | ; Buy one get one
| |
| − | : A play on typical retail sales advertised as "Buy one get one ____", where one buys one item at full price and gets another of that item either for free or at a reduced price. Since no discount has been mentioned, it would imply either (1) that you can get two at full price or perhaps (2) simply that if you buy a phone, you receive the phone; this is expected upon almost all purchases and is {{w|Tautology (logic)|tautological}} in nature.
| |
| | | | |
| | ; Bending phone activates chemical flashlight | | ; Bending phone activates chemical flashlight |
| − | : This feature parallels a {{w|glow stick}}, which is also activated by bending the stick; this breaks an inner capsule causing chemicals to mix and produce light. However, doing this with a phone is likely to cause physical or chemical damage and additionally only works once, which is not very useful for a phone flashlight that one typically uses as a tool throughout the phone's lifetime. It might be fun at a rave though. | + | : Why this feature is better than click a button is unknown. Bending glowsticks is the method of activation. |
| | | | |
| − | ; SPF 15 coating protects your face from websites | + | ; SPF 15 Coating protects your face from websites |
| − | : Sun protection factor (SPF) is a rating used to compare the protection provided by sun screens. Some people find some web sites excessively bright, colorful or garish, making them hard to read, or causing eye strain. This extends that to imply that some sites are so bright that they might cause {{w|sunburn}}. In reality, some sites, browsers, or plugins provide a {{w|night mode}}, for those who have problems with excess brightness. (See also full spectrum, and main sequence battery.) | + | : Unclear how sunscreen on the phone protects you from website. |
| − | : Alternatively, SPF in this context might be a novel term for, for example, ''site'' protection factor, or ''socials'' protection factor, and be a method for protecting you from viewing potentially harmful content encountered on the internet.
| |
| | | | |
| | ; Iatrogenic construction | | ; Iatrogenic construction |
| − | : 'Iatrogenic' means 'physician caused', and usually refers to illnesses which are caused or worsened by medical malpractice. This may imply that the phone was made ''by'' doctors, which may align with the statement given in the title text. | + | : 'Iatrogenic' means 'physician caused', and usually refers to illnesses which are caused or worsened by medical malpractice. This may imply that the phone was made ''by'' doctors. |
| | | | |
| | ; All-vinyl data storage for maximum fidelity | | ; All-vinyl data storage for maximum fidelity |
| − | : This is a reference to the hipster maxim that vinyl records provide high fidelity music. And while {{w|vinyl data}} storage does exist, it's profoundly outdated and was never widely adopted. The relevant formats had several issues, including (relevantly) wear issues that lead to fidelity problems after repeated reads. It is also unlikely that vinyl storage could be engineered to provide sufficient storage density to meet the requirements of a modern smartphone. | + | : vinyl data storage is not a thing, but vinyl is used for music records |
| | | | |
| | ; Locks in moisture | | ; Locks in moisture |
| − | : Good for cosmetics perhaps, to combat 'dry skin' (which is really more to do with substances other than water), but generally bad for a cell phone, where ingress (let alone retention) of liquids tends not to help the electronics. Most modern phones cite their ability to lock ''out'' moisture. | + | : Good for cosmetics perhaps, generally bad for a cell phone. |
| | | | |
| − | ; National Weather Service partnership - phone is afraid of thunder | + | ; National weather service partnership: Phone is afraid of thunder |
| − | : Probably a reference to the development of various public service systems which generate an alert to phone users to warn of likely dangerous events, such as storms, earthquakes, etc. In this case, though, rather than generate fear in the user, the phone itself becomes afraid. This may be further referencing the fact that, thanks to humanized personal assistant functions, some people have developed pseudo-human relationships with their devices, whereby they attribute emotions and other human characteristics to them. In reality, phones do not have emotions (yet), but even if they did, it's not clear how this would be a useful feature. How this fear manifests is also unexplained. It may turn off, or it may scream like the original xkcd phone did when in free fall. A number<!-- I've not yet counted how many, but it's definitely a number! ;) --> of the previous xkcd phones have had unexplained, inexplicable, or incomprehensible partnerships. | + | : Not a useful feature, phones do not have emotions |
| | | | |
| | ; One-click ''ruina montium'' | | ; One-click ''ruina montium'' |
| − | : ''{{w|Ruina montium}}'' ('mountain destroyer') was a now-lost mining technique used by the ancient Romans, thought to involve a form of hydrostatic drilling. It is not clear how this could be applied by a smartphone, let alone as a one-click operation. This may be a reference to the mobile phone industry's reliance on often unsustainable mining practices to supply the precious metals, rare earths, and other minerals required to make their devices work. | + | : ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruina_montium Ruina montium]'' ('mountain destroyer') was a now-lost mining technique used by the ancient Romans, thought to involve a form of hydrostatic drilling. It is not clear how this could be applied by a smartphone, let alone as a one-click operation. |
| | | | |
| − | ; Free refills | + | ; Free Refills |
| − | : Good for restaurant drinks, not typical for cell phones. Realistic meanings include providing complementary... | + | : Good for restaurant drinks, not for cell phones |
| − | # "top ups" of cell phone plan minutes or data
| |
| − | # refueling (e.g., {{w|fuel cell}} power)
| |
| − | # recharging or {{w|battery swapping}}
| |
| − | # replacing the glass each time you use an app.
| |
| | | | |
| − | ===Title text===
| + | ; Break Glass to Access Apps |
| − | The title text references the failed company {{w|Theranos}} that notably could not live up to its promise to diagnose many health issues from a single drop of blood, and was charged with fraud for claiming it could do so. Due to legal agreements, and subsequent design choices already built in, the bottom of the phone ''will'' still collect a drop of your blood (unless you're particularly careful). | + | : A play on how fire alarms are protected in most places, although in this case it is not that helpful. Unusual things behind glass is also mentioned in [[1634: In Case of Emergency]]. |
| | + | |
| | + | ; Long-lasting main sequence battery |
| | + | : Perhaps referring to a "main sequence star". Stars do last a long time compared to most cell phone batteries. |
| | + | |
| | + | ; Single Big Pixel |
| | + | : This is obviously a serious drawback, as you cannot see anything but one big blank pixel; This would make the phone basically useless if you don't have images of every bit of UI. |
| | + | |
| | + | ; Orthotic Shape for arch support |
| | + | : An orthotic shape means that it would be supporting a certain part of the body, specifically the arch of the foot in this case. While you could put the phone in a shoe, this is not generally accepted as normal or hygenic. {{Citation Needed}} |
| | + | |
| | + | The title text references the company that notably failed to live up to its promise to diagnose many health issues from a single drop of blood. Whether this phone does any better, or not, it ''will'' still take that drop of blood unless you're particularly careful. |
| | | | |
| | ==Transcript== | | ==Transcript== |
| | {{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}} | | {{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}} |
| − | :[A rectangular phone with a touch screen. There is a small dark camera section at the top of the screen and a charging/connecting port may be shown on the lower casing edge. Lines on the left side of the phone lead from the general area of the image to feature descriptions down the leftmost edge of the frame.]
| + | Image of a phone with multiple bits of text with pointers to it. |
| | :Exfoliating screen | | :Exfoliating screen |
| | :Orthotic shape for arch support | | :Orthotic shape for arch support |
| Line 94: |
Line 74: |
| | :Long-lasting main sequence battery | | :Long-lasting main sequence battery |
| | :Break glass to access apps | | :Break glass to access apps |
| − | | + | Two images of the phone folded up into a fortune teller, also with text. |
| − | :[Two phones folded in the shape of a 'paper fortune teller' are depicted on on the right, set one above the other with other general feature lines leading off from the nearest folded phone illustration towards further listed items down the right-hand side of the frame.]
| |
| | :Buy one get one | | :Buy one get one |
| | :Bending phone activates chemical flashlight | | :Bending phone activates chemical flashlight |
| Line 106: |
Line 85: |
| | :Free refills | | :Free refills |
| | | | |
| − | :[Text below the phone:]
| |
| | :Introducing | | :Introducing |
| | :'''The xkcd Phone Flip''' | | :'''The xkcd Phone Flip''' |
