2765: Escape Speed/Transcript

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Below, you will find a complete transcript for 2765: Escape Speed.

  • Overview
[An interactive comic featuring a large world with many planets and objects, navigable by a small spaceship. The spaceship is affected by the gravity of the planets and objects and controllable by arrow keys. The up arrow activates the main engine, adding forward speed; the down arrow activates reverse (bow) thrusters. Left and right arrows activate thrusters which rotate the spaceship. The spaceship features a "radar" - grey dots around it. The placement of the dots around indicate directions to nearby planets; the size and shade of gray indicate distance. The playing field is a viewport into space, the spaceship is always in the center and the viewport scrolls as the spaceship moves through space - the player sees only relatively small part of the overall game world. Orientation is a bit difficult, exacerbated by the fact that the view automatically rotates according to the local gradient of gravity. The world features collectible items (small gray circles) and powerups (grey hollow stars). Sometimes these are collocated, i.e. a gray circle appears in the hollow center of a gray star. When the spaceship flies close to a collectible or powerup, it disappears, and a message is shown in the lower part of the viewport. After picking up most collectibles, their names are added to the "You've found" list below the playing field; unless you are viewing a mobile-device version, where the playing area is optimised to full-screen. Some collectibles display a message only and do not add an item to the list. The player can return to the starting position (keeping all powerups and collected items) by clicking the "Home" button in the bottom right of the playing field.]
  • Starting Planet
[A tiny grassy planet with a few trees and bushes and four collectibles. A planet is so tiny that it can be seen whole in the game's viewport. This is where the player starts or returns after clicking the "Home" button. Initially the navigation is difficult because of low initial engine thrust and strong gravity of the Origin planet nearby affecting movement. There's a collectible right up from the starting position (shows a message only and is not reflected in the "You've found" list)]
Wheeee!
[Other features of the planet, as they are encountered by carefully moving just above the planet's surface in the clockwise direction are:]
[A tree, about twice as high as the spaceship]
[A collectible low in the grass]
You found a cool bug!
[A small tree and a larger tree to the right, with a collectible up its branches]
You found a pretty leaf!
[A tree sapling]
[Beret Guy pointing his arm up. From that position the surface of the Origin planet can be seen above.]
Beret Guy: WOW!
[A large tree]
[Cueball and Megan standing together.]
[A small tree]
[Another collectible just off the surface]
You found a rock with neat stripes!
[A small tree]
  • Origin
[The planet has vegetation and features many people, landscape objects and collectibles, and it has a shaft through the center. To get there, just launch off the starting planet and let the gravity pull the spaceship towards Origin. The planet is hard to leave without any powerups unless one uses the shaft to gain more momentum by thrusting while moving through the center. The features of the planet include (clockwise from the point closest to the starting planet):]
[A billboard]
Welcome to Origin! You can never leave™
[A rollercoaster with a duck sitting on it. At the middle of it there's a (hidden) entrance to the shaft. There's a collectible item above.]
Be careful; this roller coaster can be disorienting! (message only)
[A billboard to the right of the rollercoaster]
Caution: Long vertical drop
[A spider figure; going straight up from there you can reach the Giant Spider planet]
[A radio telescope; going up you can reach Voyager 2]
Receiving transmission
[Cueball and White Hat]
White Hat: I bet the voyager spacecraft could teach you a thing or two about speed. Of course, you'd have to catch up to them first...
[A cell tower with 5G antennas and the satellite from xkcd comic 1992: Safety sat on top. There's a collectible next to it.]
You found a 5G seagull
[A tyrannosaurus, Ponytail and Cueball standing next to a St. Louis Arch-shaped hole in the ground. Launching from where the T-Rex stands, you can reach the Jurassic Park planet.]
[A miniature of the Andal planet, marking the direction to it.]
[A pyramid with a football on top; leads to the Space Soccer Game planet]
[Ponytail sitting on top of a pyramid, Megan standing at the base of it]
Ponytail: If you want a better spaceship, you need to visit another planet.
Megan: But if I want to visit another planet, I need a better spaceship!
[A pyramid with Saturn on top; leads to the Saturn]
[Cueball and White Hat]
Cueball: I can't believe the Air and Space Museum's new exhibit has a real black hole!
White Hat: Is that... safe?
Cueball: It's OK, they've got a protective case around it.
[A few clouds]
[A recess in the ground with a monument shaped as Earth continents in a hyperelliptical projection. Hairy is standing next to it.]
Hairy: Even if you did find a crack in the crystal sphere, there's no way you'd be able to escape its gravitational pull. You'd need some kind of a hyperdrive for that.
[A spaceship from xkcd comic 2630: Shuttle Skeleton. Going up from there you can reach Shuttle Skeleton planet.]
[St. Louis Arch. There's a hidden entrance to the tunnel under it; launching from the tunnel you can reach the Hollow planet. An intelligible sign is posted next to it. When the spaceship passes near the sign, a message appears:]
The St. Louis arch is also known as the gateway to space.
[To the right of the Arch Ponytail stands with three kids looking like Hairy, Megan and Cueball.]
Ponytail: The St. Louis Arch is also known as the gateway to space.
[A miniature of the Roche Lobe Earth, marking the direction to it]
[A small building and a strange tower with a spiked orb on top and two collectibles next to it, one close to the tower top, another one hidden at the base on the right side.]
You found an orb wren!
You found 11 squares packed into a larger square!
[Hairbun and another person; launching from there you can reach the What if? planet]
Hairbun: Boston? That's in North America, on the Subway planet. It's straight up from the secret glade, you can't miss it.
[A grassy area with two collectibles]
You found a tumbleweed!
You found a marsh wren!
[A quintet of hairy and bearded people playing and singing]
It's more than a feeling
More than a feeling
[A collectible high off the surface right to the band]
You found a tiny meteorite! (message only)
[Another collectible higher off (reachable only after you visit another planet and find engine powerup)]
You found a single grain of salt!
[A spiral on a pedestal; going straight up from there leads you to the Uzumaki aka the Spiral planet]
[A radiotelescope; going up you can reach Voyager 1]
Receiving transmission
[Cueball and Megan]
Megan: It's like my astronomy teacher always said: "Shoot for the Moon -- even if you miss, you might make a crack in the crystal sphere that imprisons us all in this universe."
[A collectible clockwise from Megan]
You found a holographic Charizard business card
[A patch of trees and bushes]
A bush: SHHH.
[A collectible between two lower trees next to the talking bush; launching from there you can reach the Subway planet.]
You found a secret glade
[Another collectible hidden up a large tree next to the secret glade]
You found a normal-looking leaf!
[In the center of the planet there's a round hollow with a collectible in the exact middle]
Welcome to liminal space (message only)
[Next to the hollow there's a cave with another collectible]
You found a DVD of The Core (2003)!
[In the cave there's Megan, her hair flying around her head in microgravity]
Megan: The Oberth effect states that firing thrusters deeper in a gravity well adds more kinetic energy.
[Applying the above hint from Megan, you can launch high above the St. Luis Arch to reach a star-shaped powerup (subtracts 1.5 from thrust recovery time)]
Nice flying! Your tanks recharge faster now.
[Launching like that you can reach the Hollow planet]
  • Hollow Planet
[The planet is just a crust with a few holes through which you can fall into the center. Near the center, Ponytail and White Hat fly in microgravity.]
White Hat: It's weird how a hollow shell doesn't exert gravitational force on objects inside it.
Ponytail: Oh, so that's why we don't feel a pull from the crystal sphere.
[Next to White Hat and Ponytail there's a powerup (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
You found a sixth Lagrange point! Your thrusters are more efficient now.
[On the surface of the Hollow planet there's a bunch of signs with arrows pointing up and the names of the planets which lay in the direction. These are (clockwise):]
Origin and Subway
Earth (compromise projection)
Round planet
Exit
Uzumaki
[There's a powerup between "Round planet" and "Exit" signs]
You found a glass of heavy water! Your engine gets a bit more powerful.
  • Round Planet
[A perfectly round planet, somewhat smaller than the Origin, without any vegetation but with some architecture and people on it. You can reach it by following a sign on the Hollow planet or by launching from the Origin planet from the tower with an orb on top. Its features are (clockwise):]
[The Great Wall of China]
[Two small figures of Megan and Cueball on the Great Wall]
Cueball: The Great Wall of China is the only Human-made structure you can see space from.
[A few stones with a collectible and powerup above them (-0.75 to thrust recovery time)]
You found a sensible cheese platter. Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.
[The Stonehenge with a collectible between megaliths and Cueball standing next to it]
You found a swatch pop-out wristwatch!
[Hairbun walking on absurdly high stilts]
[Three spaceships flying just above the surface. The leading one transmits a message:]
Rogue group, use your harpoons and tow cables! Go for the legs!
[A powerup just above the middle ship]
Your engine gets a bit more powerful.
[A volleyball net. Cueball is jumping in the air to hit a volleyball on the right side of the net while Ponytail is juggling three bowling pins on the left side.]
[An airplane towing a long, narrow banner with a message printed across, not along it]
Does
any
one
know
how
to
get
this
thing
to
print
in
land
scape
mode?
[Beret Guy climbing a 5G tower with some fruit(?) hanging off the antennas. Cueball is standing next to it.]
[A small volcano cone]
[Huge gallows with a large flag on a pole hanging on it. The pole of the flag is twisted into a shape partly resembling an infinity sign; the loose end of the pole pierces the flag. A relatively large Cueball figure stands next to it.]
  • Uzumaki
[A large spiral overgrown with grass and some other vegetation. To get there launch from the sign on the Hollow Planet or from spiral monument on Origin.Features (clockwise):]
[The outside of the spiral]
[A collectible and a powerup (-0.75 to thrust recovery time)]
You found a single caffeine molecule! Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.
[A single tree]
[A pack of three birds flying]
[A group of stones in an area free of vegetation]
[The "entrance" to the spiral with a collectible, displaying a message only]
EXIT ONLY
[The inside of the spiral]
[Cueball running]
[A collectible]
You found a festive but somehow unnerving holiday card from Junji Ito!
[A bush]
[A collectible]
You found a podcast episode!
[Another collectible]
You found a friendly bee!
[A dead bush]
[A collectible]
You found an ink cartridge!
[A free-roaming Roomba]
Roomba: WHIRRR
[A collectible just above Roomba]
'You're going the wrong way!' (message only)
[Another collectible]
You found a spiral-cut diamond!
[Still another collectible]
You found a golden radio tuned to 1.618 MHz!
[Beret Guy standing]
Beret Guy: I like spirals!
[A collectible]
You found a burrito!
[Another collectible]
You found a cool pair of shoes with flames on the side!
[Still another collectible]
You found a scroll lock key!
[A small tree]
[A collectible]
You found a primordial black hole!
[A collectible and a powerup right at the center of the spiral (+2.5 to thrust duration)]
You found a tree-filled grove and a nice spot for quiet contemplation Your thrusters are significantly more efficient now.
[The center of the spiral is a dead end - one needs to fly all the way back out or just hit the Home button]
  • Guitar Ship
[A planet shaped like a guitar seen in perspective looking from the bottom of the body, with a dome on the back side. The planet lies close to Uzumaki, one can reach it by observing the spaceship's radar. Within the dome, there's the Boston skyline. Just over the dome there's a collectible.]
You found a guitar pick!
[When the Boston planet is uncloaked, orange line subway token appears near the guitar's neck]
Orange line deactivated!
  • Spacetime Soccer Field
[A tiny planet with a smooth surface and a distorted soccer field marked around it. You can get there by launching from the pyramid with a soccer ball on top, located on the Origin. The goals and goal area lines are on the opposite sides of the planet (let's say, to the east and west), distorted into curved trapezoids. The touch lines (side lines) are sections of hyperbolas with the vertices closest to the planet at the north and south poles, extending symmetrically to some distance from the planet. There is no goal line; in this geometry it should be the extended axis. What seems to be penalty lines but drawn incorrectly to join the side lines instead of going back to the goal line, are sections of an ellipse. The halfway line appears twice joining the four ends of hyperbolic side lines, together with two halves of the center circle. The field utilizes the concept from xkcd comic 2705: Spacetime soccer, but inversed: the gravity well is located at both goals, not in the center. Hairy, Megan, Cueball and Ponytail are playing. Ponytail has just kicked a football. Each goal has a powerup inside (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! Your thrusters are more efficient now.
GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! Your engine gets a bit more powerful.
[Another powerup lies at a pole of the planet]
You've found a sunspot. Your launch speed has increased.
[Still another power up lies at the center spot on one of the copies of the half-way line (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
You found the 3 million point line. Your thrusters are more efficient now.
  • Saturn
[A planet with rings, and a soccer ball inside; one of the ball's white hexagons is surfacing in the north pole area. You can reach it by launching from a Saturn-topped pyramid on Origin. There's a collectible at the equator, below the rings.]
You found a really cool data point!
[A powerup is located at the south pole]
You found a block of scandium! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[Another powerup at middle latitudes of the northern hemisphere]
You found a pair of platonic solids, not quite touching! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
  • Andal
[A small rocky and grassy planet. To get there launch from a monument on Origin, featuring a ball with a small "T" on top. Features (clockwise):]
[A T-shaped tower with a powerup on top (-0.75 to thrust recovery time)]
What a nice place for a ship to sit! Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.
[Two fantasy animals: one looks like a centaur, the other as a horse-headed centaur. Both have sickle-shaped blades at the ends of their tails. There's a powerup above them. (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
You found two Andalites, one canonical! Your thrusters are more efficient now.
[A powerup in a small recess in the ground]
You found baby shoes (and baby)! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[Cueball and Megan facing each other]
Megan: The M.I.T. cloaking device only affects the electroweak and nuclear forces. Gravity is the odd one out, as usual.
[A powerup next to Megan (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
You found a friend. Your thrusters are more efficient now.
  • Projection of Earth
[A huge distorted map of all land masses of Earth, freely floating in space like asteroids. You can get there by following the sign on the hollow planet or the Earth map monument on Origin. You can navigate the spaceship within the spaces where oceans and seas would be. There are several collectibles and powerups.]
[A collectible and a powerup at the North Sea]
You found the Principality of Sealand! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[A collectible in the northern Atlantic Ocean]
You found the Heart of the Ocean! It was drifting around in space.
[When the Boston planet is uncloaked, red line subway token appears next to Boston, Massachusetts]
Red line deactivated!
[A collectible off the West African coastline]
You found a whale shark!
[A collectible and a powerup next to Rhode Island]
You found a Rhode Island the size of an ant! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[A power up off the southern Australian coast]
You found an icosahedral d10. Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[A collectible by the Alexander Island of Antarctica]
You found some microbial life!
[A collectible on the Western coast of Myanmar near the Strait of Malacca]
You found some tin from the Pantai Remis mine!
[A collectible next to the Celebes Island of Indonesia]
You found a sparkling gem!
[A collectible near the Kamchatka peninsula in Eastern Russia]
You found a piece of pumice floating in space!
  • Voyager 1
[The Voyager 1 space probe. You can reach it by launching from a radio telescope next to the spiral monument on Origin. There's a collectible and a powerup next to its dish antenna.]
You found Voyager 1! Some of its great speed rubs off on you. Your engine thrust has increased significantly.
  • Voyager 2
[The Voyager 2 space probe. You can reach it by launching from a radio telescope next to the spider monument on Origin. There's a collectible and a powerup next to its dish antenna.]
You found Voyager 2! Some of its great speed rubs off on you. Your engine thrust has increased significantly.
  • SafetySat
[The cube satellite from xkcd comic 1992: SafetySat. There's a collectible in front of its laser pointers.]
You found a first of its kind
[A powerup next to software-defined radio (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
Your thrusters are more efficient now.
[A powerup next to crude oil tank (+0.5 to launch speed)]
The more refined oil had a dinner engagement. Your launch speed has increased.
  • Shuttle Skeleton
[A small planet shaped like a spaceship from xkcd comic 2630: Shuttle Skeleton. You can get there by launching from like-shaped monument on Origin or in northwestern direction from Alaska on Compromise Projection of Earth.]
[A powerup next to the left-hand engine (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
A little upgrade works wonders on fuel efficiency. Your thrusters are more efficient now.
[A collectible at the tip of the ship's bow]
You found a piece of space shuttle food!
[By launching straight from the engines of the Skeleton Shuttle you can find a lone collectible in the void of space, where the hidden Boston planet is. You can try finding it by observing the radar, because the hidden planet still has gravity. Once you've visited Shuttle skeleton, it is a good chance to get it, or it will be inside the Boston planet once it is de-cloaked].
You found a strangely heavy subway token!
  • Giant Spider
[A giant spider floating in space. You can get there by launching from the spider figure on Origin. Eight people are standing on the tips of the spiders legs: Hairbun of fourth left leg, Hairy on third left one, White Hat on second left, Cueball on front left, Megan on front right leg, another Cueball on second right one, Beret Guy on third right and Black Hat on the fourth right leg. There's a collectible next to the tip of the spider's abdomen.]
You found a spider-silk scarf!
[The spider holds a powerup in its pincers]
You found a friendly jumping spider. Your engine gets a little more powerful.
  • Diffraction Spikes Star
[A very spiky star shaped like the one from xkcd comic 2762: Diffraction Spikes]
[A collectible at the tip of a long spike]
You found a hydrogen ion!
[A collectible at the tip of a short spike]
You found a piece of coronium! Wait, no, iron.
  • Roche Lobe Earth
[This is a small, distorted, drop-shaped Earth with oceans and continents of the northern hemisphere. There's the Moon close by. The distortion looks like if the Moon's tidal forces is pulling northern Atlatic Ocean really hard. The planet can be reached by launching from the like-shaped statue on Origin. Cueball is standing on the surface roughly about the place of the southern U.S.A. There's a collectible off the California coastline.]
You found a curious Humboldt squid!
[Another collectible lies off the Japan coast]
You found a bathyscaphe at the Marianas Trench!
[When the Boston planet has been uncloaked, the green line subway token appears on the East Coast of U.S.A., where the city of Boston is located]
Green line deactivated!
[There's a collectible on the far side of the Moon]
You found a wayward Roomba full of moondust!
  • Dark Matter Planet
[A small, irregular planet with a black center (normal planets have white centers) and an insciption "DARK MATTER" inside, repeated three times. On its surface there are two squirrels and Hairbun.]
Hairbun: I found it!
[There's a powerup anti-clockwise from Hairbun]
You found a delicate music box. Your engine is a little more powerful now.
  • Jurassic Park Planet
[A big planet with weak gravity, a lot of grass, and many dinosaur figures, some repeating a few times. You can get there by launching form a dinosaur statue on Origin. At one place on the surface Hairy and Megan are being greeted by dr John Hammond.]
Welcome... to Jurassic Park
[There are several powerups and collectibles, going clockwise from the visitors:]
[A powerup (-0.75 to thrust recovery time)]
But what if gravity doesn't actually exist? Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.
[Another powerup]
Today is a good day I think for space exploration. Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[A collectible]
You found a tiny pteranodon!
[Another collectible]
You found a baby hedgehog!
  • Comet 67P
[A small, potato-shaped body. You can get there by launching form the rollercoaster on Origin. Features (clockwise):]
[Remains of a crashed spacecraft, presumably Rosetta, with a powerup and a collectible (+0.5 to launch speed)]
You found The Long Now Foundation's nickel paperweight containing an archive of every published Animorphs book! Your launch speed has increased.
[Hairbun standing]
[A small three-legged spacecraft, presumably Philae]
Philae: BEEP BOOP
[Cueball standing next to a smoke machine. There's a powerup to the left.]
You found a broken smoke machine. Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[Another Cueball and a powerup (-0.75 to thrust recovery time)]
Some people believe that when the Earth appears in the sky, it's a harbinger of doom. Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.
[A powerup next to a signpost]
Anyone for Scrabble later? Your engine gets a little more powerful.
  • What If? Planet
[A huge, round planet with many bodies of water. You can get there by launching from the left part of Stonehenge on the Round Planet. Some scenes from the book "what if? 2" and the xkcd comic 2712: Gravity appear here. Features (clockwise):]
[A flagpole with a powerup on the flag]
You captured the flag! You decide to leave it there, but it's yours. Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[A cave in the ground. Inside it there's Beret Guy, two rabbits, and a powerup.]
You found a dna base pair! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[Two stones with sails attached, sliding on the ground towards Hairbun and Megan]
[Black Hat with a bow, shooting an arrow upwards towards a spy satellite. There's a powerup just above it.]
You found an eye in the sky
[A lake with an eel swimming in it]
[A collectible in the grass]
You found a smooth green snake! It curls up in your hand and naps.
[A small erupting volcano]
[White Hat and Cueball standing, another person charging them with a sword held above head. Cueball is holding a small object in his left hand, the arm stretched towards the attacker]
[Hairbun running towards Megan. Megan is kicking something.]
[A person with a wide-rimmed hat driving a tractor(?). The ground strangely sticks to its wheels.]
[Megan and Cueball on a shore of a shallow body of water, Cueball is poking a stick into the water. Some creature is flying over the water. There's a powerup at the bottom (+0.4 to thrust duration).]
You found a sunken treasure. Your thrusters are more efficient now.
[Cueball standing on the other side of the water, taking hits from some objects falling from above.]
PLINK
Cueball: OW!
PLINK
Cueball: OW!
[Hairy sitting on a large heap of something, Cueball standing aside.]
[Megan standing on a brim of a small valley, Ryan standing in the valley with a small animal by his feet.]
Megan: Hi Ryan!
[There's a collectible over Ryan]
You found an asterisk. It doesn’t seem to refer to anything.
[A dugout. Cueball and Megan are standing there. Cueball holds a spade. There's a powerup above (+0.5 to launch speed).]
The Yellowstone Super What? Your launch speed has increased.
[A river, a waterfall and a lake below it. On the top of the waterfall Cueball faces two persons with police hats. There's a fat hose labelled "Niagara water" leading from the waterfall into a building labelled "LHC". Someone in the building shouts:]
Someone: HEY
[There's a collectible next to the LHC building]
You found a large hadron!
[A body of rippled strangely-behaving water, like it was a solid. Two people in a sailboat. To the right there's a gap in the water from which a huge UFO-shaped rock has been ejected, with two people on it. Further right Megan is standing at the bottom of a shaft in the water, next to some water plant]
[A few clouds and Cueball standing. The largest cloud, a cumulonimbus, features a powerup.]
Nutritional Facts - Serving Size: 1 Cloud, Total Calories: 0. Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[Megan sitting on a rectangular block, another block standing upright, a few stones.]
[White Hat walking along Hairbun, holding a rectangular object in her hand.]
[A patch of trees with two collectibles]
You found a secret leaf!
You found a stick!
[A small Cueball figure]
[A tower crane lowering a comet, on a place with two dinosaurs. A collectible below the crane's beam.]
You found a sterile neutrino!
[Knit Cap holding a remote control. An object is moving at supersonic speed next to him.]
BOOM
[There's a collectible to the left of Knit Cap]
You found a pair of squirrel goggles!
[Danish standing in a swimming pool, Cueball on the brim. There's a powerup in the pool.]
You found a steam calliope! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[A large figure of Cueball]
  • Subway Planet
[A huge planet with a subway system connecting places named after U.S. cities, similar to the one from the xkcd comic 1196: Subways. In the area where Boston should be according to that system, there is a giant round hole with rugged sides consisting of a lot of broken planks. You can get there by taking off from the secret glade on Origin planet. There's a black hole inside, off the center, in the Washingon, D.C. area. There are many people and features both on the surface and within subway tunnels.]
[On the surface of the planet, clockwise from the Boston hole, there are:]
[Megan and Cueball standing on the edge of the Boston hole. Cueball is leaning forward, looking down.]
Cueball: Where's Boston?
Megan: I think M.I.T. kids took it.
[Three consecutive entrances to tunnels leading to New Yourk City area, a tunnel leading a little below and back up, another three entrances; Cueball standing next to the middle one. There's a power up just a bit into the third (+0.5 to launch speed).]
You found a hot dog. Your launch speed has increased.
[Cueball and Danish walking]
Cueball: Why did those M.I.T. kids keep talking about Morgantown?
Danish: They're just transit enthusiasts, I guess.
Cueball: But Morgantown is tiny. It can;t possibly have a subway, can it?
Danish: Not exactly...
[Hairy and White Hat standing]
Hairy: A lot of people don't realize that North America only has one subway system; each city's metro is just one part of the network.
[A sequence of seven tunnel entrances leading to Monterrey area. There's a warning message just below the surface:]
Warning! Air and Space Museum black hole ahead!
Turn back while you still have enough engine thrust!
[The above message repeats many times within the maze of subway tunnels]
[A powerup next to the second entrance (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
You found a bottle of Coke Absolute Zero! Your thrusters are more efficient now.
["Mexico City" label just below the surface, an entrance to a tunnel leading to Atlanta and a warning message about the black hole, Ponytail]
Ponytail: Welcome to the Subway Planet, home of all North America's metro systems!
[Ponytail and Cueball. Cuaball is holding a four-wheeled suitcase.]
Ponytail: Boston? No, that's on the other side of the planet. Or used to be, anyway.
[Ponytail and Megan walking]
Ponytail: My favorite thing about visiting Origin is all the pointing sculptures. They make it so easy to navigate!
[Two tunnel entrances leading to Los Angeles. A "San Francisco" label next to them. Cueball and Megan standing on opposite sides of the first entrance.]
Cueball: If you're looking for someone to track down those M.I.T. kid, you could try asking CalTech.
Megan: But we're in San Francisco; Isn't CalTech in Pasadena?
Cueball: Yeah, it's down there somewhere.
[Ponytail jumping across a tunnel entrance]
Ponytail: Vancouver!
[A "Vancouver" label and another tunnel entrance. Cueball and Ponytail are looking up.]
Cueball: Huh, I never noticed that crack in the crystal sphere before.
[An entrance to a tunnel leading to Toronto]
[A "Montreal" label and two tunnel entrances. The left edge of the Boston hole. Next to the right edge, there's a powerup (-0.75 to thrust recovery time).]
You get the feeling you're not in Kansas anymore. Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.
[Features inside the metro system, in no particular order:]
[Knit Cap in Montreal]
Knit Cap: Bienvenue a Montreal!
[Blondie and Megan at the bottom of the Boston hole]
Blondie: I hear M.I.T. kids were working on a cloaking device. Boston could be anywhere.
[A collectible in a short dead-end line near the right side of the Boston hole:
You found a Cybiko® wireless handheld computer for teens (2000)!
[A power up down the tunnels of New York City (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
You found a brightly-lit billboard. Your thrusters are more efficient now.
[A collectible in a dead-end tunnel in NYC]
You found a handful of quantum foam!
[A collectible somewhere in NYC]
You found a normal-sized apple!
[Down in NYC: another copy of the black hole warning message and a powerup next to it]
You found a friendly cat! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[Mexico, Cueball sitting on a ledge, Megan standing below]
Megan: You'd need some powerful thrusters to make it down there and back.
[In Monterrey, Megan is using her smartphone to look up the subway scheme in xkcd.com/1196]
[A collectible and a powerup in a short dead-end tunnel near Miami]
You found a beige electron! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[A collectible in a dead-end tunnel in Toronto]
You found a relativistic bowling ball!
[A collectible and a power-up further down from Toronto]
You found $30 in Yahoo! cash! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[A powerup down in San Francisco]
The next stop is Interplanetary Terminal G. Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[Down in Los Angeles there's a rectangular chamber connected to a tunnel. Megan is standing at the entrance to it, Hairbun and Cueball are inside]
Megan: Welcome to CalTech!
Hairbun: The M.I.T. cloaking device control? It's in Morgantown, WV.
Cueball: Figures.
[A small distance left and down from the chamber Science Girls is standing in the tunnel]
Science Girl: Stop! This line goes to D.C.! Ever since the Air and Space Museum put in the black hole exhibit, it's been difficult to return without enough engine thrust.
[A powerup in a tunnel between Los Angeles and Philadelphia (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
There is no parking in the white zone. Your thrusters are more efficient now.
[A powerup in a long straight dead-end tunnel near Philadelphia]
You feel accomplished. Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[Down in Philadelphia, Cueball sitting on a slope]
Cueball: Morgantown? You could get there via Philly and Baltimore, but that would take you near the Museum. Might be safer to take the red line from Atlanta.
[Further down from Philadelphia, close to Washington, D.C. Cueball is barely balancing himself on a slope of a tunnel leading to the black hole.]
[A collectible in a tunnel in Washington, close to the black hole]
Transfer here for Mornington Crescent (message only)
[At the center of Washington there's the black hole pictured as a dark circle with shiny rings around it. It is impossible to escape it without the Hyperdrive. If caught there, hit the Home button].
[A sign in the tunnel leading from Washington to Morgantown]
WV
[Further along the tunnel Cueball is sitting at a subway station (a round chamber a bit wider than the tunnel) at a strange angle to the surface, affected by black hole gravity]
Cueball: Welcome to Morgantown!
[A gray circle with a letter "T"]
MIT Cloaking Device deactivated! Boston detected.
[Grey line appears, leading out of the tunnels exiting the Subway Planet interior near Mexico City. The line end with an arrow and a label "To Boston". A similar line appears on the Origin Planet, leading from the bush sayin SHHH, then through the shaft, and up the St. Louis arch. It ends with a similar arrow and label.]
[Megan standing at a strange angle at the next station]
Megan: Welcome to Morgantown!
[Further along the tunnel Megan is sitting]
Megan: I think I'm stuck. I can't even see the black hole from here!
[Cueball sitting further along the Morgantown tunnel, where it joins another tunnel]
Cueball: Where does that line go?
  • Boston Planet
[A big, perfectly round planet with a subway system. It is invisible until the player finds uncloaking device switch near Morgantown on the Subway Planet. Initially, all underground tunnels are blocked by huge round rocks with the letter "T" at the entrances and smaller round rocks down the tunnels. To unblock the tunnels, player needs to find subway tokens scattered in the universe; they appear only after the Boston planet is uncloaked. Subway stations on the surface and inside are marked with Boston district names. There are two trees and several people on the surface of the planet, described below (clockwise):]
[Two large trees growing at both sides of a tunnel entrance of the orange line, labelled "Oak Grove"]
[Cueball standing next to the entrance of the blue line, labelled "Wonderland"]
Cueball: There's a token to open each T line. The blue line token is right here in Boston.
[The blue line token is located just above the entrance]
Blue line deactivated!
[White Hat and Ponytail are standing on the other side of the blue line entrance]
White Hat: Welcome to Wonderland!
[Red line tunnel entrance labelled "Braintree". Cueball and Megan are standing next to it]
Cueball: Transfer here to Skinflower and Bonevine.
[Entrance to the second red line branch labelled "Mattapan"]
[Cueball standing next to green line branch entrance labelled "Riverside"]
Cueball: I can't believe the green line goes all the way to Los Angeles.
[Entrances to another two branches of the green line labelled "Cleveland Circle" and "Boston College". Some way from the Boston College Megan and Ponytail are talking."
Megan: Boston is a lot of places. It's on the East Coast of North America, but it's also on the surface of the Earth.
Ponytail: And on some playlists.
Megan: And of course it's right here!
[Cueball at the entrance of another green line branch labelled "Medford/Tufts"]
Cueball: I can't believe the green line extension is finally open.
[There are several people down the Boston Subway tunnels. Down the blue line tunnel, Cueball is walking.]
Cueball: The red line token? It's in Boston
[Another Cueball further down]
Cueball: The green line token is in Boston, too.
[Still another Cueball, climbing]
Cueball: The orange line token is also in Boston.
[Cueball again, close to intersection with the orange line]
Cueball: There are a lot of Bostons in this universe.
[In the redline tunnel, down from Braintree Cueball and Megan are walking]
Cueball: You know, the locals actually pronounce it "Quinchy"
[Following the red line past the center, the player arrives at the M.I.T. Megan is standing there.]
Megan: The hyperdrive works pretty well, but use it carefully. Try not to fly into walls at full speed.
[There's a powerup in front of Megan]
Welcome to MIT! You acquired a hyperdrive! Your engine thrust has increased significantly.
  • Crystal Sphere
[All the "planets" described above lie within a huge ring called the Crystal Sphere. You can get there by flying in any direction, provided that you don't hit any planet. The interior edge of the Sphere is almost perfectly smooth, but has a few dents and cracks. At a point closest to the Subway Planet, there's a large crack leading all the way to the outside. At the entrance to the crack, on both sides, there are two collectibles.]
Left lane must turn left (message only)
Right lane must turn right (message only)
[Along the interior edge there are a few objects (clockwise from the large crack:]
[A collectible and a powerup]
You found the gold crown Archimedes stole! Your engine thrust has increased significantly.
[A collectible]
You found a necklace of element samples whose symbols spell out your name (note: hopefully you are not named 'Katherine' or 'Brandon')!
[A collectible and a powerup]
A significant boost to the engines for a curious pilot. Your engine thrust has increased significantly.
[The walls off the large crack in the Crystal Sphere are rugged, looking like a rumble of broken wooden planks. Some distance from the entrance there's a powerup (+0.5 to launch speed)]
There is a way out. Your launch speed has increased.
[From around the location of the "way out" powerup, gravity is increasing significantly. It is difficult to get out of the sphere unless one has collected almost all powerups from the locations inside the sphere. Even though, moving on the outer surface is difficult. There's an arch around the outer exit of the crack consisting of repeating words "THE END". There's a collectible on the outer surface, quite far anticlockwise from the crack.]
You found the platinum cylinder formerly used to define the kilogram!
  • Star Destroyer
[A gigantic starship; it could have barely fit within the Crystal Sphere. It is located out of the Sphere, right up from the crack, but it can't be reached without the Hyperdrive. It has many corridors and chambers inside, and a lot of people, objects and other features both inside and outside of it. The gravity of the Sphere is still strong around here, but the starship has its own center of gravity; the "down" direction generally points towards the ventral part of the starship, but not quite, making orientation somewhat difficult as the surfaces supposed to be level seem to tilt to the left near the stern and to the right near the bow of the starship.]
[On the outside of the starship, going anti-clockwise starting from the top of the starship's bridge, featuring a large spherical dome, there are:]
[A large crocodile resting on top of the bridge, aft of the dome]
[On a ledge just below the dome, Cueball and Megan are standing next to a dish antenna, Megan is manipulating it]
Megan: Such a pain adjusting this thing every time we move.
[There's a collectible just over the antenna's support pole]
You found an unread email. Better leave it unread.
[Below a forward-protruding section of the starship's bridge, Ponytail has launched a paper plane from a small balcony. The balcony is an entrance (#1) into the Star Destroyer's huge network of corridors.]
[Below, on the flat upper surface of the starship, some distance fore from the bridge's base, a figure with a wide-rimmed hat crouches, holding reins in both hands]
Cowboy: Giddyayup!
[A rectangular block protruding from the surface. An entrance (#2) with stairs, protected be a handrail.]
[A ledge over a small drop on the surface of the starship. A basketball hoop on a pole, Cueball, Ponytail and Megan standing next to it watching a smaller Cueball chasing a basketball bouncing down the sloped surface. A powerup not far fore of the basketball (-0.75 to thrust recovery time).]
You found a perpetual motion fidget spinner! Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.
[An entrance shaft (#3). A ledge over a small diagonal drop, a cannon turret at the base of the drop.]
[A thick ledge over a large drop on the surface. An entrance (#4) to a tunnel. Another two big drops without ledges. A shallow entry shaft (#5).]
[A large drop with a short rounded ledge. A shaft (#6) some way fore, a small drop. Another shaft (#7) some distance away. Still fore, a small drop with a ledge, an entrance (#8) to a shaft below the ledge.]
[Another shaft (#9), a slightly protruding, long block just next to the #9 shaft, still another shaft (#10), another block. Some distance from there there's the flat bow of the starship. At the bow, there are two entrances (#11 and #12) leading into the starship. Cueball stands next to entrance #12.]
[Along the Star Destroyer's underbelly, fore to aft, there is a long protruding block, an entrance to a shaft (#13), a short recess in the surface, a long recess with a shaft (#14), another quite long recess with ledges on both sides. Both ledges heve entrances to shafts: #15 (fore) and #16 (aft). Hairy and Cueball are standing on the ledge leading to the #16 shaft, with parachutes strapped to their backs. Cueball is preparing to jump.]
[Aft from the two paratroopers there's a turret firing a lot of torpedoes. Going down along the torpedoes path one can reach the Corellian Corvette.]
[Still aft, there's a large uneven recess in the starship's underbelly, with ledges leading to tunnel entrances on both sides (#17 and #18). On the aft ledge, there is a car. On the edge, Megan and Ponytail stand, looking down at the Corellian Corvette.]
Megan: Is this ship designed to fly in the atmosphere like this?
Ponytail: Whatever. Who cares. It's probably fine.
[Aft of the ledge with a car, there are several rugged dents and cracks in the starship's lower surface and some debris hanging off one of the dents. Further aft, there's still another rectangular protruding block and a shaft (#19). Still further, a spherical dome protrudes partly from the underbelly. There's a hidden entrance (#20) slightly off the bottom of the dome. Not far from there, there's a small gun turret and another protruding block. Some distance aft from the block, Megan is hanging off the surface.]
Megan: Hmm.
[Still aft, there's the last shaft entrance (#21) leading into the the network of shafts, tunnels and chambers inside the starship. Some distance from there the wide stern of the starship begins. Near the bottom of the stern, on a ledge, there are two Megan-like figures, one leaning against the stern wall, another standing at the edge.]
Megan: I want synesthesia so bad I can taste it.
[Some distance up the stern, Cueball sitting on a sloped ledge has dropped a sandwich. It bounces down the slope.]
Cueball: My sandwich!
[At the middle of the starship's stern, there's a short dead-end corridor leading to a small chamber with a collectible]
You found two goats and a new car!
[The interior of the Star Destroyer contains a vast maze of tunnels, shafts, and chambers. Starting for the bow and going roughly fore-to-aft, there are:]
[The tunnel starting at the starship's bow next to entrance #11 is joined by a shaft with the tunnel leading from #12. The #11 tunnel ends in a chamber with a ball pit. Cueball and Megan are playing in it. A fish jumps over the surface.]
[A little up the shaft joining tunnels #11 and #12 there's an aft-going tunnel, with two branches, first a shaft going up, then another shaft going down to the entrance #13. The tunnel ends with a large chamber containing a swimming pool. Cueball and Megan are swimming in it. Ponytail has just jumped from the edge of it.]
[The shaft going up from the swimming pool tunnel leads to another tunnel. A short way along it towards the bow there's a chamber with a donkey-shaped piñata hanging on a rope attached to the ceiling. To the right Cueball, Megan and Hairy are standing together, Hairy holding a stick in his hand. To the left there's another Cueball with a lightsabre.]
Cueball: No, I got this.
Along the tunnel leading aft from the piñata chamber, there are another three shafts leading up to entrances #10 and #9 and down to #14. At the edge of the latter shaft Hairy stands, looking down. Some way down that shaft there's a short tunnel leading towards the bow of the starship, ending with a rumble of stones. Going further away from the piñata there's another shaft leading down and a chamber with a collectible to the right of the shaft.]
You found a lymphocyte!
[Down the shaft next to the lymphocyte chamber there's an aft-leading tunnel, connecting to shafts leading down to entrance #15 and up to #8; the tunnel leads to an empty chamber. Cueball is standing at the gateway to the chamber with his arm outstretched.]
Cueball: You shall not pass!
[A little up the #8 shaft there's another tunnel leading aft. A short way along, there's a shaft leading up to an empty chamber. A little farther, a down shaft leads to entrance #16. Still farther, the tunnel slopes up then joins a circular tunnel around a chamber in which Barrel Boy stands next to a potted plant. There's a collectible and a powerup next to the plant (+0.4 to thrust duration).]
You found a vintage Juicero juicer! Your thrusters are more efficient now.
[There are four exits leading away from the circular tunnel. The one up and left off the center leads to an upwards-sloping tunnel, Cueball stands on the sloped bottom.]
Cueball: Ugh, rotaries.
[Just past Cueball, the tunnel levels up and leads in the direction of the bow of the starship. Some way along, there's an upwards shaft leading to the entrance #7, and another shaft leading up to an empty chamber and down to a short tunnel. To the right there's a chamber with a group of strange people standing on a podium: a curly-haired kid, a woman in a short skirt wearing a strange cap or haircut, looking up, a person sporting flat-top Afro hairstyle holding up the left arm, and a girl with very long hair. To the left there's a chamber with an ice cream freezer next to the back wall. Cueball and Megan are walking towards it.]
Megan: Prediction: seconds before you die, you will remember these words.
[Down from the circular tunnel there's a shaft with a falling Tetris T-block in it. The shaft turns into an aft-leading tunnel. Just a little off the turn, there's a down shaft leading into the control room of the torpedo launcher. Cueball and Megan are in the room.]
Megan: We have no photon torpedoes, so I'm firing regular ones
[Up the shaft from the control room and aft along the tunnel there are two small devices, one riding on the top of another. The tunnel ends with a shaft leading up and down. A little down that shaft there's a short tunnel leading aft through a small empty chamber to the entrance #17. The upwards part of the shaft joins the fourth tunnel leading off the circular tunnel.]
[The start of the fourth pathway leading away from the circular tunnel is located aft and a little up off the center. The tunnel slopes up shortly, then levels up. Cueball is riding a bicycle towards the stern of the starship. The tunnel joins a shaft leading down towards entrance #17 and leads some way farther aft to a large chamber. Megan is riding a skateboard inside a rolling hamster ball.]
Megan: AAAaAAaaa
[There's a collectible right in the middle of the hamster ball]
You found an out-of-control trolley!
[Next to Megan in a hamster ball, Cueball is walking on really high stilts.]
Cueball: I can't leave.
[Halfway up the shaft leading to entrance #17 there's another tunnel leading aft through a domed chamber with a huge cephalopod. Further along there's a shaft leading up to entrance #6. The tunnel ends in a chamber featuring a rectangular shape with two horns on top.]
[Halfway down the #6 shaft an empty tunnel leads aft till a dead end. Just short of the dead-end there's a short upwards shaft leading to another tunnel. To the left from here a car is parked in a chamber. Cueball is sitting on the car's bonnet, leaning against the windshield. To the right the tunnel leads to a long downward shaft leading in the general direction of the entrance #18, going almost all the way down to the bottom of the ship near the place where the outer surface has some dents, cracks and hanging debris. About halfway down that shaft there are two tunnels, one leading aft, and, a little lower, another one going towards the bow of the starship; it passes through a chamber in which Cueball and Megan are flying on hoverboards, then follows to another short shaft going down to an empty chamber and up to a short tunnel ending with small empty chambers on both ends. The tunnel leading aft from from halfway the long downwards shaft ends, its bottom sloping down, with a funnel-shaped chamber. Right at the beginning of the slope Ponytail stands.]
Ponytail: Watch out for the cotton. It's a trap for someone, I think.
[The funnel-shaped chamber is partly hidden (or filled with "cotton"); the player's ship can fly to the bottom of the chamber through what appears to be solid inside of the starship. The funnel has round bottom and two exits, one near the bottom leading left and another leading right from a place halfway up from the bottom. The latter exit leads to a tunnel with four sets of dual mechanized toothed blades extending from the floor and the ceiling, the first one half open, another just closed, the third one fully open, and the fourth almost closed.]
Blades: CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP.
[A little further aft the tunnel there's a slightly wider section with a pit at the middle; at the bottom of the pit there's a grill and a fire burning on it. Still further aft the tunnel opens into the Imperial Park Chamber, described later.]
[Near the bottom of the long downwards shaft, Ponytail is flying up the shaft. From there a tunnel leads left to the entrance #18. A small distance right from there, there's a spiked pit in the floor of the tunnel, covered with sticks. Cueball and Barrel Boy are standing next to it, Cueball pouring something over the sticks.]
Cueball: ...and we cover it with leaves so no one sees it.
[The tunnell leads farther aft to a large chamber with a seemingly dead-end shaft leading up from the ceiling and then a little right through a hidden passage to the bottom part of the funnel-shaped chamber. In the large chamber there's a strange device with two fat, pointy electrodes labelled "JS" generating an electrical arc between them. Cueball is standing nearby, observing. Another Cueball is climbing the smooth surface of the wall opposite the machine.]
Cueball: Shh.
[Going a little to the right along the tunnel from the upper end of the long shaft from entrance #18, there's short upwards shaft leading into a short tunnel with two small empty chambers on both ends and another short shaft to the entrance #5. Right next, the tunnel develops inexplicable waves on its floor and ceiling. Cueball and Science Girl are observing the phenomenon.]
Science Girl: Ah, yes, corridor peristalsis.
[Aft from the peristaltic tunnel, there's a twisty passage leading up. Ponytail and Cueball slide down it like a waterpark tube.]
Cueball: Wheee!
[At the top of the twisty passage, another Cueball stands, slouching and looking down. From there, a short tunnel leads right to a small empty chamber and left, through another two small empty chambers, to the entrance #4. From the bottom of the twisty passage, the tunnel leads further aft. There's a very short shaft going up to a chamber with what seems like two buttons on the aft wall. Going further aft, the tunnel branches up and goes further right, down, right again, up and right until it reaches a shaft, a bit wider than all others, going up to a chamber with two ledges, and down, through its ceiling, into the Imperial Park Chamber. The up branch leads to another horizontal tunnel going aft, and the second up branch. This one leads to a short tunnel in the aft part of which two Cueballs are busy excavating: one hitting the rugged tunnel face with a pick, another pushing away a trolley full of material. The right part leads to an upwards shaft and the entrance #3. From the second up branch, the tunnel leads aft to a big chamber in which Hairy is playing a piano and Cueball is dancing with Megan; Megan is spinning. At the upper right part of the chamber there's a cantilevered ledge and a collectible right beneath it.]
You found a glass slipper with a glass foot in it!
  • Stream of torpedoes
  • Corellian Corvette
[A spaceship borrowed from the Star Wars universe. It is quite big, its length is larger than the diameter of the Origin planet, but smaller than Boston planet. It is found most easily by following a stream of torpedoes fired from the Star Destroyer. There are several people both inside and outside of it, standing on the upper surface. Gravity in the area is quite strong, coming from the huge Crystal Sphere. Starting clockwise from the stern you can find:]
[Cueball standing on a ledge next to engine nozzle. Megan is pulling him by his arm as if trying to prevent him falling off. Cueball, leaning over the ledge, is holding a long stick with a huge marshmallow the size of his head on it, right over the center of the nozzle.]
[On a ledge next to the ventral laser cannon turret Cueball is standing with a fishing rod, fishing line lowered into the space below, a square-shaped bait on the hook. Two birds are flying next to the bait.]
[On the top of the round bow section of the starship, Cueaball is standing next to some device]
[There's a rugged hole in upper side of the middle section of the starship, two Cueball figures stand next to it]
Cueball 1: So you just came down and made a hole in our ship without permission?
Cueball 2: Yup.
Cueball 1: Wow, rude.
[A collectible in the focal point of the dorsal comms dish]
You found a serif!
[Two Cueballs to the right of the dish, looking up]
Cueball 1: That thing is huge. Imperial-class?
Cueball 2: Yeah. Maybe a Mk-I. Depends on whether this is the expanded universe or not.
[Ponytail and Cueball shooting bows towards a stream of torpedos]
TWANG
[An explosion causing a shallow crater on thestarship's surface]
BOOM
[A bunch of torpedos coming in diagonally from above. One torpedo half-buried itself in a dome-shaped side of the starship. Two Cueballs next to it.]
Cueball 1: Why are they still firing?
Cueball 2: Oh, the turret operators pretty much do their own thing. It's definitely a pain sometimes.
[A large rectangular chamber in the middle section of the starship with comms dishes. Hairy, and two Cueballs talking.]
Cueball 1: The Death Start plans are not in the main computer.
Cueball 2: Darn. See, if we had found them in the main computer, that would be good news, since it would mean no one else had them. But since we didn't find them, we need to keep searching for anyone with a copy. That all makes sense and I definitely understand how computers work.
[A collectible in a short dead-end section of a corridor leading fore from the big chamber]
You found the Death Star plans!
[In a parallel corridor just above, Ponytail is walking, singing]
[In a small chamber just below the dorsal turret there's a container labelled "Bullets". Cueball is pouring small bullets into it from a bucket.]
[Further down the corridor a small device is moving towards the bow of the starship.]
[Danish standing next to a console on the upper deck of the bow section, Hairbun right behind, her fists clenched.]
Danish: Captain's log, stardate April 3rd, 2023...
Hairbun: Augh! No!
[Right in the entrance to the upper deck chamber there's a collectible]
You found a forged resume!
[On the lower deck, Ponytail is holding a lightsabre. A small round object is floating next to her. To the right, Megan stands next to a open container labelled "Shirts", holding a strange device.]
Megan: Good against remotes is one thing, but a true Jedi trains with a T-shirt cannon.
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