2473: Product Launch

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Product Launch

Title text: "Okay, that was weird, but the product reveal was normal. I think the danger is pas--" "One more thing." "Oh no."

Explanation

This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: Created by a NON-THREATENING SMART DEVICE. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon. If you can address this issue, please edit the page! Thanks.

Three people are discussing the upcoming public announcement of their company's new product, apparently a electronic device shown on the pedestal between them. Hairy mentions that such devices can make people uncomfortable. Common reasons include:

• It is impossible for consumers to know what the device is really doing (since it is a "black box" with inaccessible software).
• The device could stop working in the future due to poor quality or software problems;
• The device could be used by the company to spy on people, including ones who did not consent to this by purchasing the device.
• The device could represent a security or even safety risk by allowing hackers or other groups access to the network or any systems that the device controls.

To allay these concerns, the device should be presented as non-threatening. Cueball asks to confirm the non (implying that this was not clear to him before and that the original device or presentation has aspects that could be considered threatening) but does not explain.

Later, Cueball presents the device on-stage, with statements that carry double meanings.

• He confirms that the product can "change the world for good or evil" (most would merely claim that their new product is good).
• The company wants to "give [customers] what they deserve," a phrase often associated with judgments that are as likely to punish as to reward.
• The product is to be exposed to the atmosphere (implying a chemical or physical reaction) and affect customers within five city blocks (nearly 1 km). This is further than common smart devices (using wireless technologies such as WiFi or Bluetooth) would reach. Worse, this event is supposed to be surprising, unlike, for example, the sudden availability of a new long-distance radio network.

Transcript

This transcript is incomplete. Please help editing it! Thanks.

[Hairy and Ponytail are standing to the left of a wrapped object. Cueball is standing on the right.]

Hairy: The press is here for the product launch!

Hairy: Remember, people are wary of smart devices, so we want to strike a non-threatening tone.

[Pan over to just Cueball; Hairy and Ponytail are off of the left side of the panel.]

Cueball: Hang on, did you say non-threatening?

Hairy: Yes. Why-

Cueball: Nothing. It's probably fine.

[Caption: Soon...]

[Cueball is standing on a platform next to the previously seen wrapped object.]

Cueball: They say technology can change the world, for good or for evil. Our new product will show how true that is.

Cueball: We hear the plaintive cries of our customers. We want to give them what they deserve.

[Zoom in on Cueball, who has his hand up in a gesture.]

Cueball: Now, let us expose our product to the atmosphere for the first time, surprising and delighting customers within a five-block radius.

(Voice off-panel): I'm leaving.

Cueball: No, don't worry! A staggering number of people will survive!

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Discussion

Today, June 8, Amazon added a new feature to Ring and Echo devices that would allow them to communicate with similar devices owned by other people, thus sharing the owners' WIFI with each other. Through Amazon's "generosity" they are turning this on by default. No clue as to what the purpose of this feature is? Good or Evil? https://threatpost.com/amazon-sidewalk-to-sweep-you-into-its-mesh/166581/ Rtanenbaum (talk) 15:44, 8 June 2021 (UTC)

It's a feature, which is good. It's turned on by default, which is evil. 108.162.215.6 22:59, 8 June 2021 (UTC)

Some of the items that turn up with the note "Citation Needed" are hilarious. In this entry, Wiki is asking for a citation to back up the claim that the survival rate for most product launches is 100%. This sort of tag always adds to my enjoyment of these entries Paradox (talk) 13:46, 9 June 2021 (UTC)

Ahoy, Paradox! I don't think you intended to make your comment so time-stamped (used loadsa ~s as horizontal-rules?), but do revert this edit if you did. Take care if you didn't.

Otherwise, I agree that in moderation the Citation tag works. I personally like the current load here, but bear in mind that Mileages May Vary and others doubtless think less is more. It takes all kinds to make a world, of course. 141.101.98.206 17:06, 9 June 2021 (UTC)

The theme of foreboding smart device here seems similar to how we don't really know what will happen next regarding AI. 172.70.110.226 00:26, 10 June 2021 (UTC)

I think the "one more thing" part of the title text may be a reference to Columbo, who would often lure a suspect into a false sense of security, before hitting them with a 'one more thing' where the hammer drops (in this tech case, that the bad thing is now about to be revealed). 162.158.158.153 00:28, 10 June 2021 (UTC)

Given Cueball had apparently been aiming to give a "threatening" presentation and suddenly had to change it to "non-threatening", I think it's possible he just changed a couple of words in his speech. The words "surprising and delighting" look a bit odd in the final frame. I suspect he simply replaced the word "annihilating" with "surprising and delighting", and "a few" with "a staggering number of". See how that reads to you. 162.158.165.140 04:13, 10 June 2021 (UTC)

Are we missing the difference between "unthreatening" and "non-threatening"? Unthreatening would describe the product in ways that are not threatening. Non-threatening would describe the product in terms of threats, but neither confirm nor deny whether the product would result in such threats. 172.69.33.247 20:15, 19 June 2021 (UTC)

Actually the best comic in 2021. 10/10, especially the last panel. 172.70.90.28 16:15, 7 February 2024 (UTC)