2765: Escape Speed/Transcript

Below, you will find a complete transcript for 2765: Escape Speed.

• Overview

[An interactive comic featuring a large world with many planets and objects, navigable by a small spaceship. The ship is affected by the gravity of the planets and objects and controllable by arrow keys. The up arrow activates the main engine, adding forward speed; the down arrow activates reverse (bow) trusters. Left and right arrows activate trusters which rotate the spaceship. The spaceship features a "radar" - grey dots around it. The placement of the dots around indicate directions to nearby planets; the size and shade of gray indicate distance. The playing field is a viewport into space, the player sees only relatively small part of the overall game world. Orientation is a bit difficult, exacerbated by the fact that the view automatically rotates according to the local gradient of gravity. The world features collectible items (small gray circles) and powerups (grey star-shaped items). After picking up most collectibles, their names are added to the "You've found" list below the playing field; unless you are viewing a mobile-device version, where the playing area is optimised to full-screen. The player can return to the starting position (keeping all powerups and collected items) by clicking the Home button in the bottom right of the playing field.]

• Starting planet

[A tiny grassy planet with a few trees and bushes and four collectibles. Cueball and Megan are standing together. Beret Guy points his arm up.]

Beret Guy: WOW!

[There's a collectible right up from the starting position (shows a message only and is not reflected in the "You've found" list)]

WHEEEE!

[A collectible in the grass clockwise from the starting position]

You've found a cool bug!

[A collectible up a tree]

You've found a pretty leaf!

[Another collectible just off the surface]

You've found a rock with neat stripes!

• Origin planet

[The planet has vegetation and features several people, landscape objects and collectibles, and it has a shaft through the center. The planet is hard to leave without any powerups, unless one uses the shaft to gain more momentum by thrusting while moving through the center. The features of the planet include (clockwise):]

[A billboard]

Welcome to Origin! You can never leave™

[A rollercoaster with a duck sitting on it. At the middle of it there's a (hidden) entrance to the shaft. There's a collectible item above.]

Be careful; this roller coaster can be disorienting! (message only)

[A billboard to the right of the rollercoaster]

Caution: Long vertical drop

[A spider figure; going straight up from there you can reach the Giant Spider planet]

[A radiotelescope; going up you can reach Voyager 1(?)]

Receiving transmission

[Cueball and White Hat]

White Hat: I bet the voyager spacecraft could teach you a thing or two about speed. Of course, you'd have to catch up to them first...

[A cell tower with 5G antennas and the satellite from xkcd comic 1992: Safety sat on top. There's a collectible next to it.]

You've found a 5G seagull!

[A tyrannosaurus, Ponytail and Cueball standing next to a St. Louis Arch-shaped hole in the ground]

[A strange object]

[A pyramid with a football on top; leads to the Space Soccer Game planet]

[Ponytail sitting on top of a pyramid, Megan standing at the base of it]

Ponytail: If you want a better spaceship, you need to visit another planet.

Megan: But if I want to visit another planet, I need a better spaceship!

[A pyramid with Saturn on top; leads to the Saturn]

[Cueball and White Hat]

Cueball: I can't believe the Air and Space Museum's new exhibit has a real black hole!

White Hat: Is that... safe?

Cueball: It's OK, they've got a protective case around it.

[A few clouds]

[A recess in the ground with a monument shaped as Earth continents in a hyperelliptical projection. Hairy is standing next to it.]

Hairy: Even if you did find a crack in the crystal sphere, there's no way you'd be able to escape its gravitational pull. You'd need some kind of a hyperdrive for that.

[A spaceship from xkcd comic 2630: Shuttle Skeleton. Going up from there you can reach Shuttle Skeleton planet.]

[St. Louis Arch. There's a hidden entrance to the tunnel under it; launching from the tunnel you can reach the Hollow planet. An intelligible sign is posted next to it. To the right Ponytail stands with three kids looking like Hairy, Megan and Cueball.]

Ponytail: The St. Louis Arch is also known as the gateway to space.

[A strange object (possibly marking direction to the Roche Lobe Earth)]

[A small building and a strange tower with a spiked orb on top and two collectibles next to it, one close to the tower top, another one hidden at the base on the right side.]

You've found an orb wren!

You've found 11 squares packed into a larger square!

[Hairbun and another person; launching from there you can reach the What if? planet]

Hairbun: Boston? That's in North America, on the Subway planet. It's straight up from the secret glade, you can't miss it.

[A grassy area with two collectibles]

You've found a tumbleweed!

You've found a marsh wren!

[A quintet of hairy and bearded people playing and singing]

It's more than a feeling

More than a feeling

[A collectible high off the surface right to the band]

You've found a tiny meteorite! (message only)

[Another collectible higher off (reachable only after you visit another planet and find engine pwoerup)]

You've found a single grain of salt!

[A spiral on a pedestal; going straight up from there leads you to the Uzumaki aka the Spiral planet]

[A radiotelescope; going up you can reach Voyager 2(?)]

Receiving transmission

[Cueball and Megan]

Megan: it's like my astronomy teacher always said: "Shoot for the Moon -- even if you miss, you might make a crack in the crystal sphere that imprisons us all in this universe."

[A collectible clockwise from Megan]

You've found a holographic Charizard business card!

[A patch of trees and bushes]

A bush: SHHH.

[A collectible between two lower trees next to the talking bush; launching from there you can reach the Subway planet.]

You've found a secret glade!

[Another collectible hidden up a large tree next to the secret glade]

You've found a normal-looking leaf!

[In the center of the planet there's a round hollow with a collectible in the exact middle]

Welcome to liminal space! (message only)

[Next to the hollow there's a cave with another collectible]

You've found a DVD of The Core (2003)!

[In the cave there's Megan, her hair flying around her head in the microgravity]

Megan: The Oberth effect states that firing thrusters deeper in a gravity well adds more kinetic energy.

[Applying the above hint from Megan, you can launch high above the St. Luis Arch to reach a star-shaped powerup]

Nice flying! Your tanks recharge faster now.

[Launching like that you can reach the Hollow planet]

• Hollow planet

[The planet is just a crust with a few holes through which you can fall into the center. Near the center, Ponytail and White Hat fly in micorgravity.]

White Hat: It's weird how a hollow shell doesn't exert gravitational force on objects inside it.

Ponytail: Oh, so that's why we don't feel a pull from the crystal sphere.

[Next to White Hat and Ponytail there's a powerup]

You've found a sixth Lagrange point! Your thrusters are more efficient now.

[On the surface of the Hollow planet there's a bunch of signs with arrows pointing up and the names of the planet which lay in this direction. These are (clockwise):]

Origin and Subway

Earth (compromise projection)

Round planet

Exit

Uzumaki

[There's a powerup between "Round planet" and "Exit" signs]

You've found a glass of heavy water! Your engine gets a bit more powerful.

• Round planet

[A planet without any vegetation but with some architecture and people on it. It's features are (clockwise):]

[The Great Wall of China]

[Two small figures of Megan and Cueball on the Great Wall]

Cueball: The Great Wall of China is the only Human-made structure toy can see space from.

[A few stones with a collectible and powerup above them]

You've found a sensible cheese platter. Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.

[The Stonehenge with a collectible between megaliths and Cueball standing next to it]

You've found a swatch pop-out wristwatch!

[Hairbun walking on absurdly high stilts]

[Three spaceships flying just above the surface. The leading one transmits a message:]

Rogue group, use your harpoons and tow cables! Go for the legs!

[A powerup just above the middle ship]

Your engine gets a bit more powerful.

[A volleyball net. Cueball is jumping in the air to hit a volleyball on the right side on the net while Ponytail is juggling three bowling pins on the left side.]

[An airplane towing a long, narrow banner with a message printed across]

Does any one know how to get this thing to print in land scape mode?

[Beret Guy climbing a 5G tower with some fruit(?) hanging off the antennas. Cueball is standing next to it.]

[A small volcano cone]

[Huge gallows with a large flag on a pole hanging on it. The pole of the flag is twisted into a shape partly resembling an infinity sign; the loose and of the pole pierces the flag. A relatively large Cueball figure stand next to it.]

• Uzumaki

[A large spiral overgrown with grass and some other vegetation. Features (clockwise):]

[The outside of the spiral]

[A collectible and a powerup]

You've found a single caffeine molecule! Your thrusters are more efficient now.

[A single tree]

[A pack of three birds flying]

[A group of stones in an area free of vegetation]

[The "entrance" to the spiral with a collectible, displaying a message only]

EXIT ONLY

[The inside of the spiral]

[Cueball running]

[A collectible]

You've found a festive but somehow unnerving holiday card from Junji Ito!

[A bush]

[A collectible]

You've found a podcast episode!

[Another collectible]

You've found a friendly bee.

[A dead bush]

[A collectible]

You've found an ink cartridge

[A free-roaming Roomba]

Roomba: WHIRRR

[A collectible just above Roomba]

You're going the wrong way! (message only)

[Another collectible]

You've found a spiral-cut diamond

[Still another collectible]

You've found a golden radio tuned to 1.618 MHz

[Beret Guy standing]

Beret Guy: I like spirals!

[A collectible]

You've found a burrito

[Another collectible]

You've found a cool pair of shoes with flames on the side!

[Still another collectible]

You've found a scroll lock key

[A small tree]

[A collectible]

You've found a primordial black hole

[A collectible and a powerup right at the center of the spiral]

You've found a tree-filled grove and a nice spot for quiet contemplation. Your thrusters are significantly more efficient now.

[The center of the spiral is a dead end - one needs to fly all the way back out or just hit the Home button]

• Guitar Ship planet

[A planet shaped like a guitar seen in perspective looking from the bottom of the body, with a dome on the back side. The planet lies close to Uzumaki, one can reach it by observing the spaceship's radar. Within the dome, there's the Boston skyline. Just over the dome there's a collectible.]

You've found a guitar pick!

• Shuttle Skeleton planet

[A small planet shaped like a spaceship from xkcd comic 2630: Shuttle Skeleton]

[A powerup next to left-hand engine]

A little upgrade works wonders on fuel efficiency. Your thrusters are more efficient now.

[A collectible at the tip of the ship's bow]

You've found a piece of space shuttle food!

• Roche Lobe Earth

[This is a distorted, drop-shaped Earth with oceans and continents of the northern hemisphere. There's the Moon close by. The distortion looks like if the Moon's tidal forces is pulling northern Atlatic Ocean really hard. Cueball is standing in the place of the southern U.S.A. There's a collectible off the California coastline.]

You've found a curious Humboldt squid

[Another collectible lies off the Japan coast]

You've found a bathyscaphe at the Marianas Trench!

[There's a collectible on the far side of the Moon]

You've found a wayward Roomba full of moondust