Difference between revisions of "496: Secretary: Part 3"
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Revision as of 20:14, 13 September 2012
|Secretary: Part 3|
Title text: He actually installed each piece in a different car in the lot, then built a new car in the spot from the displaced pieces. It's a confusing maneuver known as the auto-troll shuffle.
When a person has been appointed to a position by the President, they must first go through a confirmation hearing in front of the Congress, where they find if the person is qualified to be in the position they have been appointed to. Of course, Black Hat is not the cleanest of characters, so Congress has a lot of reservations about his résumé.
- Starbucks is an American "innovation," where coffee simply wasn't made fast enough. So the whole process was streamlined, and now the world is "better" for it.
- He hasn't yet, but in 562: Parking Black Hat will cut someone's car in half to make it fit in a single space. Not quite as dramatic as completely disassembling a car and, as the title text says, putting a single piece in another car parked in the lot, and building a car out of the displaced parts, which could almost be considered subtle; but, it is quite dramatic.
- Charles M. Schulz drew a comic called Peanuts. One of the recurring characters was Snoopy who would often use his doghouse as an imaginary Sopwith Camel in many battles with The Red Baron who piloted a Red Fokker Triplane.
- 9/11 Truthers believe that the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center towers on September 11, 2001 (thus 9/11) was a conspiracy theory purported by the US Government as a cover up. In the comic, Black Hat appears to be mixing 9/11 truthers with Moon landing conspiracy theorists who believe that NASA never put a man on the moon.
- Black Hat uses a common refrain Wake up, Sheeple
- Radio Shack is a chain of consumer electronics shops that sold parts to build electronics with: resistors, transistors, etc. Apparently Black Hat managed to build a death ray from the parts there and accidentally vaporized a customer.
- Microsoft is the company that makes Windows. Steve Ballmer is the CEO of Microsoft. Windows Vista was the operating system that came between Windows XP and Windows 7, and is considered by most to be a failure.
- Black Hat stole a nuclear submarine in xkcd 405: Journal 3 to get his hat back from Danish.
- "Pleading the fifth" is to invoke the Fifth Amendment of the United States Bill of Rights. Specifically, when someone pleads the fifth, they mean that they cannot be compelled to give testimony against themselves. That is, they do not have to say anything that could be taken as an admission of guilt. The third amendment states that no homeowner has to keep troops of the United States Army in their house against their will. The only sensible time to plead the third would be when a member of the military knocks on the door and tries to gain entry, which is not the middle of a congressional hearing.
All comics in the Secretary series:
- 494: Secretary: Part 1
- 495: Secretary: Part 2
- 496: Secretary: Part 3
- 497: Secretary: Part 4
- 498: Secretary: Part 5
[The confirmation hearings begin...]
Senator: It appears you have quite an arrest record.
Senator: Is it true you completely disassembled someone's car outside a Starbucks?
Hat Guy: It was parked across two spaces.
Senator: You stole a red Fokker triplane and strafed the snoopy float at the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade?
Hat Guy: Got three mimes, too.
Senator: You disrupted a 9
11 truth meeting, insisting the Twin Towers never actually collapsed?
Hat Guy: I have evidence! Don't trust the media! Wake up, sheeple!
Senator: You were fired from Radio Shack after you built a death ray and vaporized a customer?
Hat Guy: I was just testing it! Figures that'd be the one day there was a shopper in the aisle.
Senator: And you were thrown out of Microsoft headquarters for... trying to feed a squirrel through a fax machine?
Hat Guy: I forgot about that! it was part of an argument with Steve Ballmer about Vista.
Which I won, by the way.
Senator: This is the worst history of vandalism, gleeful mayhem, and general recalcitrance we've seen in a nominee since Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Senator: And this--you stole a nuclear submarine?
Hat Guy: I plead the third.
Senator: You mean the fifth?
Hat Guy: No, the third.
Senator: You refuse to quarter troops in your house?
Hat Guy: I have few principles, but I stick to them.
[Aboard Ron Paul's blimp]
Pilot: We're nearing Washington, sir.
Wait... There's something ahead on the sensors.
Pilot: It's a balloon.
Ron Paul: ...Oh, no.
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