2525: Air Travel Packing List

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Air Travel Packing List
I know the etiquette is controversial, but I think it's rude when the person in front of me reclines their seat into the bell of my trumpet.
Title text: I know the etiquette is controversial, but I think it's rude when the person in front of me reclines their seat into the bell of my trumpet.

Explanation

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If you can address this issue, please edit the page! Thanks.

This comic is about a packing list, and the humor is found because most of the items are either found on the plane, would be useful in a plane crash, or SOUND like they are useful on a plane. a quick summary of each:


  • Seat cushion

This, in a crash, can be used as a flotation device, and is provided by the airliner. some people also bring cushions to make the occasionally uncomfy airline chairs more comfy

  • Parachute

useful to keep yourself from falling out of the sky in a crash

  • Wing glue

to repair wings in the event of damage, potentially in a crash. unclear on how you would apply mid-flight

  • Air horn

to draw attention to yourself in the event of a crash, or potentially to be used to celebrate a successful flight and make everyone else on the plane hate you.

  • Sextant

to be able to determine your position based on the stars and find your way home. It could be useful in a crash if you know star charts and HOW TO USE A SEXTANT.

  • Nose plugs and goggles for pressure

in case of a crash, to help with depressurization of the cabin and rapid pressure changes during a crash.

  • Airplane shoes

some people have indoor shoes or their house to keep floors cleaner. unclear as to why you'd need it on a plane

  • Navigation crystal

mystical form of navigation, presumably to help you home after a crash.

  • Spare batteries in case the plane runs out

Like car batteries, but for the plane in case of crash

  • Birdseed

so you can attract birds, and use THEM to fly the plane in case of crash

  • Homing beacon

so people can find you in the event of a crash, similar to flares. carry one at all times.

  • Meteorite antidote

just in case.

  • USB wing connector

this is a just a wire connector, but because it has wing in the name is on the list. alternatively, the plane wings connect by USB, and this can be used to reattach wings.

  • Emergency siren

USE IN CASE OF EMERGENCY

  • Spare flaps

If the elevator flaps fail in a crash, it is good to have spares.

  • Mouthpiece (pandemic restriction; airlines still provide the trumpet)

could be a reference to the mouthpiece on oxygen masks that drop down in case of rapid depressurization in the cabin. for some reason you are choosing to put it on a trumpet

  • Luggage ballast

for keeping your luggage upright in the water. obviously.

  • Flag (international flights)

used to communicate between boats without electricity, in the event the boats are in distress. to be used in the event of a crash.

  • Decoy tickets

For sneaking onto the plane without paying.

  • Keys to the plane

so you can fly the plane, and to make sure the pilots don't get locked out.

Transcript

Ambox notice.png This transcript is incomplete. Please help editing it! Thanks.

Air Travel Packing List

If you haven't flown in a while, you might not remember what you need to bring. Use this handy checklist to pack!

[Two columns of lists of items. Each item is preceded by a checkbox.]

  • Seat cushion
  • Parachute
  • Wing glue
  • Air horn
  • Sextant
  • Nose plugs and goggles for pressure
  • Airplane shoes
  • Navigation crystal
  • Spare batteries in case the plane runs out
  • Birdseed
  • Homing beacon
  • Meteorite antidote
  • USB wing connector
  • Emergency siren
  • Spare flaps
  • Mouthpiece (pandemic restriction; airlines still provide the trumpet)
  • Luggage ballast
  • Flag (international flights)
  • Decoy tickets
  • Keys to the plane


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Discussion

I'll work on this one, so I don't get edit conflicted. PoolloverNathan[talk]UTSc 23:16, 6 October 2021 (UTC)

A lot of these items that are listed as needed during a crash are not that related to crashing but some things that paranoid potential passengers feel they should have anyway. Nutster (talk) 02:04, 7 October 2021 (UTC)

I had a teacher that was a retired engineer. He complained about working on an airplane and he wanted to design a lightweight floor, but the heel of high heeled shoes would pierce through so he had to make it heaver than he wanted. One can imagine an alternate world where the lighter floors were chosen, where airplane shoes would be some kind of pressure distributing shoe.172.69.42.125 02:32, 7 October 2021 (UTC)

I thought airplane shoes was a play on boat shoes, which are a thing. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boat_shoe Barmar (talk) 14:34, 7 October 2021 (UTC)

I think that the Flag for international flights is referring to a national flag not to a flag used for signaling messages. 162.158.187.208 03:20, 7 October 2021 (UTC)

Pedantry corner: parachutes don't keep you from falling out of the sky - they help you land safer when you do. 162.158.159.95 08:21, 7 October 2021 (UTC)

Like the old joke about falling out of a building: It's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop at the end. Barmar (talk) 14:32, 7 October 2021 (UTC)

The mouthpiece may be a COVID-19 slur, referring to the requirement to cover your mouth -- 162.158.90.83 09:02, 7 October 2021 (UTC)

No I think it is just so you do not use the mouthpiece from the previous passenger because of the risk of covid-19. The idea that you before the pandemic would use the same mouth piece as multiple passengers before you is as gross as putting Toothpaste from your moth back in the tube again... :p --Kynde (talk) 06:58, 8 October 2021 (UTC)

Part of the joke may be that this list isn't for those who have travelled via plane but flown from cockpit. "so you can attract birds, and use THEM to fly the plane in case of crash" - What does that even mean? Bischoff (talk) 11:01, 7 October 2021 (UTC)

Some of those items could be from the computer game "Zak McKracken and the Alien Mindbenders" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zak_McKracken_and_the_Alien_Mindbenders Seat Cushion, Birdseed, Parachute.

My first interpretation of the mouthpiece and trumpet was an early style telephone that had a separate mouthpiece and trumpet style earpiece.

Ballast is routinely used on aircraft. The baggage handlers that load the plane will usually add temporary ballast as needed. The manufacturer and aircraft mechanics may install permanent ballast blocks in order to ensure that the center of gravity is within limits.

I will edit the main text shortly. It will be my very first non-comment edit on this site. https://www.flightliteracy.com/ballast/Hamjudo (talk) 17:01, 7 October 2021 (UTC)

Great to have you onboard. Did you expect to avoid editing conflict by writing here first? Or just information. Keep the input coming, if you write something that people disagree with it will be edited later. So no problem making mistakes. --Kynde (talk) 06:59, 8 October 2021 (UTC)

"Spare batteries in case the plane runs out" surely refers to the regulations against spare lithium batteries, not just to the absurdity of using such batteries to power the aircraft. Modernhemalurgist (talk) 22:50, 7 October 2021 (UTC)

Seat backs on airliners have reclined, probably since the introduction of the DC-3. Once upon a time, there was enough space between seats to allow the recline function to be used without strangling the person behind. This is no longer the case, especially in steerage ... er, sorry, economy class. The true violators of etiquette are the airlines and their seating practices. The airlines will, of course, reject the charge, and say that the etiquette violators are passengers who demand space but refuse to pay for it. The whole demonstrates human ability to accept the unacceptable, and to distract ourselves from prime causes, and responsibilities, by means of petty and meaningless disputes. 172.68.129.133 03:22, 8 October 2021 (UTC)

Yes, it's a shame this has become controversial. It should be obvious that, regardless of whether you recline your seat or not, you should try and be considerate to the person behind you. There's so little space in cattle class nowadays that it can be an uncomfortable experience, especially if you're tall (like I am). I remember one particularly awful flight where I didn't get to eat because the person in front of me wouldn't put their seat back to upright even for the meal :-(. All this aside, I'm just glad I get to fly (or will do, once restrictions ease) and travel internationally on a budget. Zoid42 (talk) 07:02, 9 October 2021 (UTC)

Air horn! --162.158.90.11 08:14, 8 October 2021 (UTC)

Anyone else thinks Wing Glue may be a running joke about the wings of Icarus? Radnall already referenced them a few times both on xkcd and what-if.--141.101.77.168 14:57, 8 October 2021 (UTC)

This is the only comic I've seen where I feel this site may have missed the main joke of the comic. This doesn't work for all the items listed, but: many of them make perfect sense under the premise "if you haven't flown in a while", just that "you" and "flown" mean things other than a person as a passenger on a commercial airline. For example:

  • Seat cushion: if you're a person as a passenger on a commercial airline (the "base" or "normal" case).
  • Parachute: if you're a pilot in various military or experimental aircraft.
  • Wing glue: if you're Icarus.
  • Sextant: if you're piloting an airship, perhaps in a fantasy setting, or even perhaps a plane in the early history of aviation.
  • Birdseed: if you're a bird.
  • Homing beacon: if you're a larger commercial aircraft (or a human responsible for outfitting it with safety systems).
  • Keys to the plane: if you own a normal, small plane.

These ones I can think of a possible explanation but it's a bit unclear:

  • Nose plugs and goggles for pressure: if you're flying an aircraft in the atmosphere of another planet where the air pressure is much higher?
  • Navigation crystal: if you're flying an aircraft in a fantasy world?
  • Spare batteries in case the plane runs out: if you're flying some experimental electric aircraft?
  • Meteorite antidote: if you're flying a spacecraft in some sci-fi setting where meteorites were poisonous?

The others I don't have an idea for, which is why I came here looking for the explanation. --172.70.98.37 00:53, 9 October 2021 (UTC)

I think you could be on to something. However, the sextant was really used in airliners literally 40 years ago. The 70s and early 80s can hardly be called early history of aviation. --162.158.89.64 06:05, 12 October 2021 (UTC)
Navigational crystals are actually a real thing used historically. Look up "sunstone". They seem to be hard to use, but could somewhat replace the sextant on cloudy days or during twilight when the stars aren't quite visible as they would let you see where the sun is anyway. Kapten-N (talk) 15:08, 9 January 2024 (UTC)

141.101.69.120 21:49, 11 October 2021 (UTC) probably "decoy tickets" are somehow related to a load of false targets any combat aeroplane tends to carry. When attacked by a homing missile, the pilot can drop decoys to lure the missile away from the aeroplane.

Goggles were(are?) regularly used on open-cockpit planes, nose plugs seems to be a kind of spark plug, sometimes used on the engine of such vehicles (I first thought it may have to do with the plane's nose, but it doesn't look so). Surprisingly I found some pictures of bird nests in aircraft engines on the way, but I doubt this has to do with the seeds. In general a lot can be explained by interpreting "you haven't flown in a while" as referred to a pilot and the "in a while" to several decades.--162.158.94.219 18:54, 13 October 2021 (UTC)

the wing glue could be a reference to that one story from Greek mythology where Icarus flys close to the sun and the wing glue melts--162.158.74.146 00:32, 15 October 2021 (UTC)

I am a bit disappointed that this is only a list of things to bring, neglecting the equally important list of things to *not* bring, and not using the potential of alternations between them (as one could create, for example, for electronics and their batteries). 162.158.88.113 13:38, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

There are some errors in the table… XkcdPhone (talk) 00:51, 24 November 2021 (UTC)

Keys to the plane may be in reference to a prank that is sometimes played on new airline pilots where the captain asks the new pilot where the keys are or if they have the keys. --Abrickwall (talk) 19:57, 21 December 2021 (UTC)