1702: Home Itch Remedies
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Bug bites, such as mosquito bites, are itchy. Home remedies are often ineffective, and in some cases very complicated -- think of the number of suggestions on how to cure hiccups. In this case Cueball's suggestion turns out to be insanely complicated, involving finding rare French orchids. Megan is not actually interested in trying out a complex home remedy, she really just wants sympathy.
The suggested remedy is a mix of many popular home remedies such as :
- Taking a hot shower: supposed to stimulate nerve endings, it can also destroy some toxins.
- Applying vinegar: supposedly effective on mosquito bites.
- Applying ice: numbs the pain, more commonly used on bruises.
- Using aspirin: as an anti-inflammatory drug aspirin may have an effect on itches, although it may cause more itches than provide relief.
- Tea and a "rare French orchid": orchids, like many other plants, are commonly used in traditional medicine to cure various ailments, and tea is a common route of administration.
Megan's answer is a sarcastic comment stating that her own family home remedy is to keep scratching until the skin falls off -- which is a natural tendency, although not until the skin literally falls off; hence it is not really a home remedy, just a natural reaction.
The title text refers to chiggers or Trombicula alfreddugesi as the worst source for itches; in fact only in the larval stages are these mites parasitic. Chigger can also refer to the chigoe flea or "jigger", Tunga penetrans, a parasitic flea which also causes bad itching, but Randall explicitly mentions the mite Trombicula alfreddugesi. A move to a more northerly region of the world like Iceland might seem to be a perfect cure, because those parasites are only found in warmer southern regions (similarly, since mosquitoes lay their eggs in water, moving to a dry place with no water usable by mosquitoes would be a "cure" for mosquito bites). Unusually, Iceland does not support native mosquitoes, despite similarities to other northern regions which do.  One might fallaciously assume it does not support parasites in general — but it does support parasitic insects in other genera, and it has other species of mites.  Thus, "move to Iceland" is also a weird home remedy that won't work.
- [Megan and Cueball stand together while Megan scratches her itches.]
- Megan: Argh, bug bites are the worst. I shouldn't scratch, but... so itchy.
- Cueball: Oh, you know what's great for that?
- [Zoom-in to Megan's head. Cueball is off-panel.]
- Megan: No, don't tell me. Everyone always has weird home remedies that never work. I just want sympathy.
- Cueball: No, this one isn't weird, I promise. It really helps!
- [Zoom-out to Megan and Cueball. Megan is still scratching.]
- Cueball: First, take a hot shower. Then dip some ice cubes in vinegar and use them to crush one baby aspirin. Then make some tea, and...
- [Megan walks away while Cueball looks at her.]
- Cueball: ...then, you need a rare French orchid-
- Megan: I'm going to try a different home remedy where I complain a lot and scratch until my skin comes off.
- Cueball: Sounds effective.
- Megan: It's an old family trick.
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