330: Indecision

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Hey, I don't make the rules. It's in the book.
Title text: Hey, I don't make the rules. It's in the book.


These two friends (both presumably male, since female characters in xkcd are depicted with hair) are surprisingly cavalier in taking the suggestion to engage in sexual experimentation to alleviate boredom. Even if both men are gay, the fact that they're friends (as the rule in the book describes them) suggests that they are not currently having sex on a regular basis. In this case - and even more so if the friends are heterosexual - most people would not take the book's suggestion, and it may even make them feel embarrassed and awkward.[citation needed]

The book that one of the Cueballs grabs appears to be some sort of all-encompassing rule book, its reach including the social sphere. Obviously this book is fictional, but the line "I think there's a rule about this" sounds like a reference to folk "rules" or guidelines like the "five-second rule."

Crisco is a brand of shortening, a fat that is solid at room temperature and frequently used in baking, though is also sometimes used, as implied in this instance, as a sexual lubricant. Crisco was referenced again in a sexual context in the title text of 414: Mistranslations and later as a part of a weird dream also in the title text of 557: Students.

The title text could be spoken by either one of the characters or Randall. It attempts to preempt any awkwardness or judgment the reader may have about this situation by transferring responsibility to the rule book.


[Cueball is lying on the floor with his friend.]
Cueball: So what do you want to do?
Friend: Still no ideas.
Cueball: Wait, I think there's a rule about this.
[Cueball goes to bookshelf and removes a book called "Rules".]
[The book of rules is opened to the following:
RULE social.b.99.1
If friends spend more than 60 minutes deciding what to do, they must default to sexual experimentation.
[Cueball is standing, holding the book. The friend is in the process of standing up.]
Cueball: Huh.
Friend: I did not know that rule.
Cueball: Me neither.
Friend: I'll go get the Crisco.


A book suggesting a more or less unrelated solution that is accepted anyway is also pulled from a shelf in 1024.

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- I think it went along the lines "if two persons share an eye contact longer than X seconds they are either going to fight or fuck." 16:30, 15 December 2014 (UTC)

- The author of this "explanation" is clearly heterosexual and not particularly kinky. Crisco is COMMONLY used as a sexual lubricant for the act of anal fisting, particularly in the gay community. ~ Remy

- Perhaps we could replace "is not commonly used as a sexual lubricant" with "is not intended for use as a sexual lubricant". -- 15:56, 21 July 2015 (UTC)
- Commercial lubricants are still more common. The fact that you refer to something as both kinky and common makes little sense. -- Flewk (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)
Why is everyone adding a dash before their comment162.158.79.185 16:52, 13 March 2019 (UTC)
- I don't know. PoolloverNathan[talk]UTSc 18:17, 6 April 2021 (UTC)
- a fellow archive trawler I see. 8:02, 18 April 2021 (UTC)
- oh gosh should we warn those commenters from 2019 about covid? 22:42, 2 August 2021 (UTC)
— No, we shouldn't violate causality like that. And what would they be able to do anyway? Stock up on toilet paper? 13:54, 27 October 2021 (UTC)
- hello everybody --The Cat Lady (talk) 00:11, 14 August 2021 (UTC)
Used to be a thing, the only signed comment is from 2015, and Remy’s is probably earlier. Netherin5 (talk) 17:09, 13 March 2019 (UTC)

I think it's an allusion to The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right book. 08:03, 23 February 2016 (UTC)