751: Swimsuit Issue

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Swimsuit Issue
Parents: talk to your kids about popup blockers. Also, at some point, sex. But crucial fundamentals first!
Title text: Parents: talk to your kids about popup blockers. Also, at some point, sex. But crucial fundamentals first!


Sports Illustrated, while a sports magazine (from what the title implies), is infamous for its Swimsuit Issue, a yearly issue that heavily features women wearing revealing swimsuits (again, from what the title implies), something generally agreed upon as inappropriate for children.

However, the joke is on the father. Before he could stop the child from reading, the child had already made it clear that they have seen hard-core pornography in the pop-up ads they have encountered. They are familiar with the sight of women being "double penetrated" (i.e. engaged in simultaneous vaginal and anal sex), and indicates that these women are completely naked (implied by their surprise to see similar-looking women wearing swimsuits in the magazine). Thus, the swimsuit issue, in which the women are wearing some clothing and are not engaged in sexual activity, is relatively tame by comparison.

The title text has Randall suggest that pop-up blockers are far more important than The birds and the bees, a stance that most people do not agree with [citation needed]. There is some sense towards this approach, however. While "the birds and the bees" would have to wait until the child has developed sufficiently in order to get the proper effect, pop-up blockers are a more urgent need that would prevent a child from looking at inappropriate content before then. Pop-up blockers alone would not prevent everything, but they are a valuable asset nonetheless.


Child: What's this?
Father: Oh! That's daddy's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue! It's not appropriate for—
Child: Wow! They look just like the ladies who get double-penetrated in the popup ads! But with clothes on! Gosh!

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I feel like the kid in this comic, but on a much tamer scale. ChessCake (talk) 15:08, 13 December 2018 (UTC)