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This is a non-numbered April fools' comic, and is the first April fools' joke preformed on xkcd. This comic, formatted similarly to other posts such as Blue Eyes. The post describes xkcd becoming syndicated into a newspaper, changing from a webcomic. Newspapers are notorious for censorship of content, and Randall describes all the changes that would be required of the comic, the humor coming from their progressive absurdity.
List of Changes proposed by Randall
|1||Cultural References that would be lost on the average newspaper reader||xkcd is known for its niche cultural references, one of the main reasons this wiki exists.|
|2||Mathematics above the high-school level||Another trademark of xkcd is its use of mathematics for humor. Simpler mathematics tends to lend itself less well to comedy.|
|3||Obscure scientific subjects||Again, this is a common feature of xkcd comics, which turns off many would-be readers for its exclusivity, making xkcd difficult to syndicate.|
|4||Overt sexual material||xkcd's abstract art style means that it can get away with sexual content without seeming profane, and takes advantage of this often.|
|5||Objectionable words such as fuck, shit, cunt, ass, tits, cock, scrotum, bitch, Belgium, pussy, or twat||Newspaper comics tend to have very "clean" humor, which xkcd's usual writing style is ill suited for. Belgium is the rudest word in the universe according to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.|
|6||Same Sex relationships||Newspapers are more often read by older people, so same-sex relationships are often absent to avoid conservative backlash.|
|7||Star Wars||Star Wars, a common reference in xkcd, is an intellectual property that would need to be licensed, at great expense to United.|
|8||Star Trek (Original and Enterprise)||Similar case to Star Wars.|
|9||The home phone numbers of White House employees||At this point, the list items begin to become more absurd, tipping more credulous readers off to the joke.|
|10||Bacon Based Currencies|
|11||Erotic use of Flywheels||While it is hard to see how one could use Flywheels erotically, there have been attempts.|
|12||ExposÃ©s regarding other United Features syndicated characters||Here Randall seems to imply that certain (fictional) comic strip characters are involved in scandals, of which he knows the details.|
|13||ExposÃ©s regarding the personal lives of United Features Syndicate executives, specifically including CEO Kenneth Lowe|
|14||Teledildonics||A form of technology used to have sex remotely, obviously unsuitable for the funnies.|
|15||Portrayals of Johnny Cash as an Amway distributor|
|16||Any story that ends with "and that's how my penis got the nickname 'grappling hook'.|
|17||Computer-computer Cybersex||Two chatbots cybering with one another is a plausibly real thing, and an easy target for xkcd.|
|18||Swordfights between white people|
|19||Bitch & Animal||A "queercore" gay punk band, never mentioned elsewhere in xkcd.|
|20||Sexualization of Mount Rushmore||Mount Rushmore National Memorial is a sculpture carved into Mount Rushmore features the 60-foot (18 m) heads of Presidents George Washington (1732–1799), Thomas Jefferson (1743–1826), Theodore Roosevelt (1858–1919), and Abraham Lincoln (1809–1865), as for the sexualization of the mountain, See
|21||Staplers as mÃ©lÃ©e weapons|
|22||Road trip buddy comedies starring Tank Girl and William Howard Taft|
|23||Eric S. Raymond performing in Cirque du Soleil|
|24||Hats with buckles|
|25||Licking of nipples atop a moving train|
- [A Cueball and his Cueball-like friend are standing in some sort of grassy area.]
- Cueball: Why did the computer cross the road?
- Friend: I don't know.
- Cueball: I don't know either! Computers are so complicated!
- Friend: LOL!
- Editor's note: "LOL" is an online acronym for "laughing out loud." It alerts you to something funny, so keep an eye out!
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