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explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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See an example of how it works in explain xkcd:This Week's Explanation for Improvement: 395: Morning. And see how it works on a previous successful (380: Emoticon) or unsuccessful (unixkcd) nomination.

Current TWEFI[edit]

Morning
I'd press on them to try to unstick them, but I can't reach. Can we try cycling day and night really fast?
Title text: I'd press on them to try to unstick them, but I can't reach. Can we try cycling day and night really fast?

Explanation[edit]

This comic has been selected as This Week's Explanation for Improvement. Anyone is encouraged to help explain this comic! Every little bit counts; even just adding a sentence or fixing a typo is another step towards improving the wiki for everyone.

Suggested improvements:
  Explain the references to The Matrix to someone who has never heard of the movie.
  Explain the "screen resolution of the world" in first panel. Is there truth to this? What resolution do our eyes actually have?
  Explain the title text, especially "cycling day and night really fast".
  The explanation of LCD screens is too technical.

Click here to get started! If you are new to wiki editing, see our editing FAQ for guidance, or simply learn by doing!

A close-up of the sky with the dead pixels, at the top of the frame, with trees for reference.

This comic plays on the idea that physical reality might be a simulation running inside a supercomputer. This idea has been explored in popular culture before, as mentioned in the comic itself, but the second panel argues the revelation would still be a deeply existential horror of it were true.

The first panel mentions The Matrix, a 1999 action movie where the main character Neo discovers that the world he thought he knew was actually a simulation being run by an army of robots who keep the human race hypnotized inside the titular simulation. It is perhaps the most famous work of fiction to touch on the theme of reality being a simulation, and an easy cultural touchstone at the time this comic was written (thus her claim "We've all seen" it).


The reveal of Megan's reality being a simulation comes when she sees "dead pixels" in the sky. In LCD screens, especially TFT LCD, a dead pixel is a pixel that does not work properly, usually set as black or as some other color. LCD screens were a more common standard when this comic was written, but have largely been supplanted by LED screens wherever possible. Megan realizes that the reality is a computer simulation when she sees dead pixels in the sky, indicating that what she sees is an LCD screen.

In the last panel of the comic, there are three pixels — two red and one green — that look exactly like actual dead pixels.

Regarding the question in the first panel, "What resolution is life?" (by which "life" presumably means the "real world" or lived experience, not living biochemistry), the most scientifically meaningful response would involve Planck distance and Planck time, the smallest digital units of distance and time that time-space can be broken down into. Humans, of course, cannot perceive on that scale, but it is the fundamental building block of the time-space around us, similar to pixels (picture elements) on a screen or a bit (one-or-zero) of data. Datum. Data. Our experience occurs at a much higher level, so a lower order of resolution. Note that the trees are not pixelated, meaning that only the sky is a giant LCD screen.

The title text refers to usual techniques for fixing a dead pixel. One way is to apply pressure and release it, which isn't possible for Megan due to the distance of the sky. Another way is to make the area of the screen that the dead pixel is on change colors really quickly, which could happen if the day-night cycle was fast enough, or if the clouds overhead were sped up.

Transcript[edit]

[Megan is standing to one side.]
We've all seen The Matrix
We've all joked about "What resolution is life?"
But it doesn't blunt the shock
Of waking up one morning
[Megan looks up from field and sees several colored pixels in the sky.]
And seeing dead pixels in the sky.


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Discussion

The explanation for comic Template:comic discussion/doc was selected by the Explanation Improvement Project as This Week's Explanation for Improvement after being nominated in September 2026 by YZ100. During that week, editors focused on expanding and polishing this explanation as part of an ongoing effort to keep older or under-developed explanations fresh and complete. (view the explanation before improvement)

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Past successful TWEFI[edit]

Emoticon
U+FDD0 is actually Unicode for the eye of the basilisk, though for safety reasons no font actually renders it.
Title text: U+FDD0 is actually Unicode for the eye of the basilisk, though for safety reasons no font actually renders it.

Explanation[edit]

A basilisk, originating in Greco-Roman antiquity, is a legendary creature reputed to have the power to kill, or turn to stone, any living creature with a single glance (a useful idea for metaphor, as in Shakespeare's Richard III, in which a widow wishes her eyes, praised for their beauty by her husband's killer, were basilisks and could "strike [him] dead"). In this comic Cueball doesn't appear to be turned to stone, he simply appears to have died.

Cueball, who goes by "NICKM", chats online with a user named "BSLSK05" via instant messaging. He quickly learns, much to his dismay, that he is chatting with an actual basilisk, who kills him by texting him a smiley emoticon (a colon and a closing parenthesis: :)), suggesting that the basilisk's power can extend beyond actual physical eye contact and is effective even with a mere visual representation of a pair of "basilisk" eyes as keyboard characters.

The username "BSLSK05" is, of course, the word "basilisk" without vowels and with appended numbers. Most systems disallow the same username for different users, so users often append digits to their name in order to create something unique. These may be digits that have some significance to them, or simply an arbitrary string.

The myth of the basilisk has been adapted into many places in popular culture which the comic may be referencing, rather than the original myth directly. In this comic, Cueball is explicitly not referred to as Rob, since his username implies that he goes by "Nick" (possibly short for "Nicholas") and has a family name starting with "M". This may be a reference to the character Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington, also known as "Nearly Headless Nick", from the novel and movie series Harry Potter. In Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, a basilisk is let loose in Hogwarts School of Wizardry, and Nearly Headless Nick becomes a victim of the basilisk's gaze. However, since he is a ghost and has already died, he is instead rendered immobile, or in the book, "petrified". (Another possible reference is the Basilisk monster from the Dungeons & Dragons Monster Manual. Here, the Basilisk is a monster with the special ability "Petrifying Gaze".)

Cueball's question, "A/S/L?", is an online messaging shorthand for requesting information about someone — specifically their age, sex, and location. This was commonly used when first meeting someone online in text-only mediums, especially in determining how they might wish to continue to converse with their correspondent (whether it might lead to online flirting or finding some other interesting topic of conversation). However, in some contexts, the question was considered creepy, inappropriate or disruptive. For people who were only interested in talking with existing friends or talking about a specific topic, dealing with unsolicited private messages asking "A/S/L?" was generally an annoyance. Such people may have wished for a way to make the questioner go away, though most would not have resorted to petrification to do so.

The term has largely fallen out of use since the comic, with the introduction of avatars, profile pictures, and other methods of presenting a user's identity up front. Modern dating sites such as Tinder have built-in algorithms that automatically connect people whose preferences match, skipping the basic introduction stage of a first-time interaction entirely.

The type of chat system pictured may be Internet Relay Chat (IRC), the earliest popular system used for instant messaging, as most IRC clients share the use of formatting usernames with surrounding angle brackets and prefixing event messages with "-!-".

The title text refers to the Unicode character at code point U+FDD0, which is a non-character — this specific one is permanently reserved for internal application processing rather than regular text, meaning no font sets support the character. If you attempt to render the non-character in a text field or editor, it would either not show up or would display as an empty rectangle (🯄) or an invalid/missing character box (�). Unicode does, however, have many characters for representing images and icons/symbols, such as ✉ (Envelope), ☎ (Telephone), ✏ (Pencil), ✂ (Scissors), ⚙ (Gear), ★ (Star), ancient Egyptian glyphs, and (most popularly) emojis. Ironically, the characters just given may not render in a given browser, including the one of the editor who placed them here, and also appear as rectangular boxes, even if they can be seen and used on the edit page. The title text claims that U+FDD0 is actually the character for the eye of a basilisk (which does not exist), but is not rendered by any fonts for safety reasons, because it may kill anybody who looks at the character.

Transcript[edit]

[Cueball sits at computer, typing. The computer screen reads as follows:]
-!- Opening Chat with BSLSK05
<NICKM> Hi!
<NICKM> A/S/L?
[The next panel is unframed, with two smaller frames within it.]
<BSLSK05> :)
[Cueball looks stunned, flies backward.]
[The two smaller frames focus in on BSLSK05's emoticon, implying rotation to show a smile and two open eyes.]
[Cueball at computer slouches in chair, dead, crossbones above his head.]
[At the remote computer, a basilisk is looking at its screen, pleased with its endeavours.]

Trivia[edit]

This page is incomplete:
This is a bit too technical, explain it in simpler terms. You can help by editing the explanation!

The unicode character used as the eye of the basilisk, U+FDD0 did in fact kill at least one chat client, Konversation (and presumably any other Qt-based chat clients using QTextDocument). This was because U+FDD0 is one of the 32 non-characters located in the block “Arabic Presentation Forms-A” used "to make additional codes available to programmers to use for internal processing purposes". According to the Unicode FAQ they are reserved for internal (private) use.

However, some cross-platform software development frameworks used to create graphical user interfaces, such as QT's UTF-8 encoder, let it through anyway. QT's qtextdocument (i.e. the container for richtext formatted content) uses U+FDD0 as non-printable text frame delimiting character. When this is appended to a QTextDocument, which is a container for structured rich text documents that provides support for styled text and various other types of document elements, the internal counters used to keep track of depths of embedded content have been incorrectly adjusted, to the degree that it eventually may crash the software using it.

D-bus closes the connection and crashes the client when it encounters illegal UTF-8, and KDE's notification system works through d-bus.

The problem was fixed after the xkcd "report" and Konversation now handles unicode normally.


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Discussion

The explanation for comic Template:comic discussion/doc was selected by the Explanation Improvement Project as This Week's Explanation for Improvement after being nominated in August 2026 by Black Hat's Hat. During that week, editors focused on expanding and polishing this explanation as part of an ongoing effort to keep older or under-developed explanations fresh and complete. (compare before and after)

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Past successful TWEFI[edit]

Right Click
Right-click or long press (where supported) to save!
Title text: Right-click or long press (where supported) to save!
< Previous                 April Fools' Day comics                 Next >      
This is the 10th xkcd April Fools' Day comic, released by Randall on April 1, 2018. It was published on a Sunday, deviating from the standard release schedule to honor April Fools' Day. In fact, 2009 and 2017 are the only years in which Randall hasn't marked this day with a comic. You can view all April Fools' Day comics or learn more about them!

To experience the interactivity of the game, visit the original comic.

Explanation[edit]

This explanation was found to be incomplete after being nominated for This Week's Explanation for Improvement. Although it was not featured, the nomination process revealed issues that still need to be addressed to meet our quality standards. Before removing this notice, read the August 2026 nomination and ensure the issues raised by the Explanation Improvement Project have been satisfactorily addressed:

  The Spells section has a lot of busy work that doesn't seem too hard to explain, finish explaining the second half of the table.

You can help by editing the explanation! If you are new to wiki editing, see our editing FAQ for guidance.

The image downloaded when the save button is selected.

At first, the comic seems like the most simplistic xkcd comic possible - Cueball standing and doing nothing. The "editor's note" tells you to save a copy of the image to "view the full comic".

To save an image from a browser most people would right-click on it (or long-click in mobile devices) which normally leads to a "context menu" allowing several actions related to the image, including saving/downloading. This is what you are encouraged to do by the editorial note as well as by the comic name and title text. However, the context menu opened is not the default context menu of the browser but an elaborate context menu containing many nonsensical options.

At first it also seems impossible to save the image using that menu. However, after exploring the context menu you can find an "easter egg" in one of two different places (see below) which unlocks the save option. This save option gives you a different image than the one you see, which can be thought of as "the full comic" although the meat of the comic is actually in the interactive context menu itself. Note that "cheating" by disabling JavaScript and other methods that allow you to directly save the image won't get you that "full comic" image.

This comic pokes fun at how hard it can be to save an image or to just navigate context menus in some computer programs. The "easter egg hunt" might be related to the fact the comic was released during Easter (which fell on April fool's in 2018). It might also be related to the movie "Ready Player One" which was recently released when the comic was released. In the movie, based on the book by Cline, finding an "easter egg" in a VR world was a central plot point.

The title is reminiscent of one of the first interactive comics 1110: Click and Drag, where the title explains what the user should do to experience it. However, that was not a fools' day comic.

The comic uses JavaScript and HTML5 to override the standard context menu. Since modern browsers use the same features to integrate Add-ons into that menu, the behavior may be different depending on the browser environment. Browsers with JavaScript disabled, either totally or by using NoScript, won't access the functionality of the comic, but of course can easily save the image (not "the full version" but the image that is seen initially).

Context menu[edit]

# Menu item Explanation Sub-menu items
1 Save Only appears after getting one of the two easter eggs that can be found in the menu - in the games ADVENT.EXE and Mornington Crescent (see their explanations below). Save image> Views the image the first time you click, then downloads this image on every visit after that. [1]. The image includes a spheroid object near the top right-hand corner which appears to exhibit red shift and green shift, suggesting that it is rotating rapidly.
2 File Normal submenu Close: Closes menu, does nothing.

Open: A:\, C:\, / (See more below)

Find: Where, When, How, (grayed out) What, (grayed out) Why, Who.

'Where' leads to four options. The first, 'computer', has two options ('folder' and 'menus'), which link back to the 'find' and right-click menus, respectively. "Narnia" leads to a link to the comic 665: Prudence as well as to a grey comment about how it's weird that "they" have to die to go back to Narnia. "Canada" and "America" lead to the same set of bizarre menus (America leads into Canada's menu), which then give the options 'Upper' and 'Lower', ultimately leading to a drive-through and hockey, respectively.

'When' leads to a description of Siri entering someone's home, and the menu can be followed to reveal several further events from 'earlier' in the day. The last one ('a bottle of jack and a toothbrush') is likely a reference to the song 'Tik Tok' by Kesha.

'How' simply leads to an exclamation of 'How!?'.

'What' is grayed out.

'Why' links to [2], technically answering the question of "Why?"

'Who' leads to a menu version of the Abbot and Costello "Who's on First?" routine, which eventually links to a youtube video of the routine. As of April 4th, a second submenu has been added, which contains Slappy and Skippy's "Who's on Stage?" parody of the previous routine, which also eventually leads to its youtube video.

Backup: Causes the area around the comic to flash red 9 times, with high-pitch sounds reminiscent of a truck backing up. Reminiscent of the Sinclair Spectrum SAVE to tape command, which would flash the border and modulate the speaker.

Save: Only available after the save menu is unlocked after one of the two Easter Eggs is found, allows a download of a bonus comic, same as clicking the save option from the main menu.

3 Edit Enables a mode allowing the user to draw on the webpage. You can draw multiple scribbles, however, they will automatically connect together. Pressing Esc asks "Aw, that looks nice though. Really delete?" and the page returns to normal if OK is clicked. None
4 System Normal submenu Shut Down> Changes the only menu option to "Power on", then once that is used, the system returns to normal.

/ (See below)

5 View Normal submenu Cascade>Links to [3]

Tile> Links to 245: Floor Tiles

Minimize> Changes pointer to a smaller pointer.

Full Screen> Enters full screen.

6 Utilities Normal submenu Park drives> Nothing.

Check space usage> (cannot click) Space usage: -Dark matter -Hydrogen -Helium -Scattered clumps of heavier elements -Stars -Rocks -Some space probes -Earth

Spell check> English (links to 1069: Alphabet) and Colors (links to [4])

Train AI> links to 1838: Machine Learning

Identify song> opens a long word-by-word menu for song lyrics; it's actually a menu-ised version of 851: Na.

Advanced> several Unix commands, all absurd (or dangerous) for some reason:

  • apt-get install /dev/null: apt-get is the standard package manager used in Debian-derived Linux distributions (including Ubuntu); it is normally used to install software; /dev/null is the "bit-bucket" device on any Unix system, which can be used as a dummy output file to discard output or as a dummy empty input file. This command would attempt to install /dev/null (which is a device, not a package!) or, more correctly, would try to install a package reading its data from /dev/null (if apt-get is given a file name it tries to interpret it as a .deb package), which is obviously impossible.
  • brew install apt-get: brew is a third-party package manager for macOS; it is generally used to install "missing" open-source utilities on a macOS system; the command is attempting to install the aforementioned apt-get, which is both impossible (apt-get doesn't run on macOS) and hilariously recursive (did you install a package manager - brew - to install another one?). Even if this were possible, the package would have been called apt, as apt-get is only one of the commands in the package manager.
  • /usr/local/bin/wine xen-hypervisor.exe: wine is a compatibility layer used to run Windows executables on Linux (and on macOS); the fact that it is in /usr/local hints that it has been manually compiled on this machine; Xen is a Linux-based hypervisor, i.e. a software used to run and manage virtual machines over a Linux host, but the .exe suffix here hints that it is a Windows executable. The command would try to launch a Windows build of a Linux-based virtual machine manager on a Unix machine through a Windows emulation layer (wine).
  • source .bash_history: the source shell command reads the file that is given as argument and executes each of its rows as a command in the current shell, roughly as if you typed them in; .bash_history (located in the user home directory) is the file where the bash shell saves the history of the commands that have been run. This command would re-run all the commands that have been typed in the shell.
  • rm -rf $DIRECTROY/*: rm -rf deletes recursively and forcefully the paths it is given as arguments; $DIRECTROY is a shell variable, probably containing some directory that whoever typed in this command wanted to clean; however, it is misspelled (it says $DIRECTROY, not $DIRECTORY), and, due to how POSIX shell work, it is thus expanded to an empty string; so, the command becomes rm -rf /*, which deletes all the files and directories in the root of the disk, effectively killing the system instead of just deleting the content of some directory. Notice that this particular misspell manages to circumvent the builtin protection of many rm versions, which refuse to do a plain rm -rf /, as /* gets expanded by the shell, so rm never has the chance to see explicitly that you are killing all the data in the root directory.
  • :(){:|:&};:: this is a classic shell fork bomb, i.e. a small program that keeps launching copies of itself until all resources have been exhausted or the user somehow manages to kill all its copies.
  • echo "source .bashrc" >> .bashrc: .bashrc is a file that gets executed whenever the bash shell is started in interactive mode; this command appends the string source .bashrc to it, which effectively executes it again recursively; this would pretty much make it impossible to open an interactive shell when launching it with the default parameters.
  • alias gcc=php: the alias shell builtin create an alias for another command; gcc is the GNU C compiler driver, which is used to compile programs written in the C language; php is the command-line interpreter for the PHP language. This line creates an alias such that when typing gcc, php is actually invoked, which would generate completely absurd error messages. This is doubly devious, as PHP isn't generally held in high esteem by large part of the programming community (especially by someone writing stuff in C).
7 Games Normal submenu Twenty Questions> A Twenty Questions interface that gets really confusing. There are links to Bing image searches for 'okapi', 'pronghorn', 'eland', 'baribusa', 'musk deer' and 'ibex'. The game also contains some extremely large cans of creamed corn (a reference to 1807: Listening).

Rock Paper Scissors> A Rock Paper Scissors game where the computer always matches your move. If you go long enough, the Defect option is added, a reference to the Prisoner's Dilemma.

D&D> An interface that allows you to "cast" over 300 spells from D&D 5e. Several menus are used to filter the spells based on their traits: class which can learn the spell, the school of the spell, the spell level, and components required to perform it (somatic, vocal, material). The traits can be chosen in any order. After all six traits are chosen a submenu opens with all of the spells that match those exact traits (which might be no spells at all).

Most spells link to various pages, including xkcd comics (e.g. 1331: Frequency), what-ifs (e.g. Saliva Pool) and other external sites (e.g. The Sun | NASA). Some spells create effects that change the comic page temporarily or permanently, and some open submenus from different parts of the context menu.

See below for all links and effects.

ADVENT.EXE> A text-based adventure game. If played correctly, you can win, unlocking 'Save'>'Save image' from the beginning menu, which links to [5].

The first scene allows you a choice between exploring a dark cave or a castle. If you explore the cave first you get the following description: "It's pitch black. You're likely to be eaten by a grue". This is a reference to a text adventure game called Zork, where Grues are monsters who dwell in the dark and eat human explorers, making it impossible to explore dark areas. The same description often appears when you enter a dark area without a light source in Zork and other related games. This has previously been mentionned in 91: Pwned.

If you ignore the warning and go deeper, you are given one more warning ("You're deep in a cave. Something, possibly this very sentence, tells you it would be dangerous to go any further"). If you ignore that too and keep going, you fall into a pit. Several options are given to try and rescue yourself (or alternatively "resign to your fate" or deny you are in a pit [You also may try to cause a distraction by saying "Look behind you! A three-headed monkey!" This may be a reference to the Curse of Monkey Island, where Guybrush Threepwood distracts characters by saying the same line.]) but all lead to "you've been eaten by a grue". Being eaten by a grue seems to be an irreversible condition - if you exit the context menu and enter ADVENT.EXE again, you are given no options and are told again that "you've been eaten by a grue". Apparently only refreshing the page cancels that.

Exploring the castle is a much safer option to begin with. The main castle scene has a door, a well, and stairs that go up to the tower. The door is locked, and trying to break it is futile.

The well is a wishing well. Examining it allows for several options:

  • Examine the sign - it reads "Dark! Narrow! Scary! Well of Three Features". This is a reference to the well of three features from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
  • Wish for... - this one has a lot of options, some of which are links to comics or What If pages and some lead to further submenus:
    • World peace - leads to the answer "I'm just a well, can you scale it down a bit?" and then back to the well menu; this option is from now changed to "Inner peace", which gives "A feeling of calm washes over you." and "Ommmmmm...", which also goes back to the well menu
    • More wishes - leads back to the "Wish for..." menu. The idea of using a wish to wish for more wishes is common when discussing things with wish-granting powers and was previously mentioned in 1086: Eyelash Wish Log.
    • Fewer wishes - Tell you "Really? Okay.." (as this is not something most people would ask for[citation needed]). If you continue you return to the "Examine well" menu. If you want to make a wish again (even after exiting the menu and coming back again) you can only wish for "more wishes" and then you can continue wishing normally.
    • Happiness - links to 572: Together, a comic about getting "happiness" as a scavenger hunt item.
    • Luck - links to 1053: Ten Thousand which refers to hearing about commonly known things for the first time as being one of "today's lucky 10,000".
    • Wisdom - You hear a voice whisper 'N, E, N, N, N, W, S, W'. This is a clue for later.
    • Wealth - Links to the what if article All the Money, which might explain what will happen if the wishing well "overgrants" your wish.
    • A human-sized hamster ball - links to 152: Hamster Ball where Cueball wishes for the same thing.
    • A map of everything - links to 1196: Subways, a map of the subways of North America, which are apparently "everything" for Americans.
    • True love - links to Soul Mates.
    • A kitty! - links to 231: Cat Proximity, a comic detailing the effect of cats on humans.
  • Jump in - Allows you to swim (and later "just keep swimming..." indefinitely) or climb out and return to the "Examine well" menu.
  • Pull up the bucket - "You reel in the bucket. There's something shiny in the bottom". If you examine the bucket you get a key!

After you have the key, if you go back to the castle you can now use the key on the locked door and enter a dungeon. In the dungeon, there is a clamp on a table that you can take.

Finally, in the tower, you can find a "strange machine" dubbed a "C-Remover". You can try to use the C-Remover on any item you got. It doesn't affect the key, but it does turn the clamp into a lamp! The C-remover is a reference to either the T-remover from Leather Goddess of Phobos or the multi-letter remover from Counterfeit Monkey, a text adventure by Emily Short inspired by it.

After you have the lamp, entering the cave becomes safer. It now becomes "a maze of twisty passages, all alike" where each room allows going N, E, S, or W, normally leading to an identical room. Only by using the clue from the wish for "wisdom" in the well and going N, E, N, N, N, W, S, W you can navigate the maze successfully. When following that path, after the first "W" the options become N, S, and Dennis instead of the usual N, E, S, W; this is a reference to the text-based game Thy Dungeonman found in a Strong Bad email from homestarrunner.com.

If you follow the full path you find the center of the maze where there is a nest with a "large multicolored egg" (an easter egg!). If you take the egg you are told "You feel a sense of potential, as if you may have more options now". This is because the "save" options are now unlocked in the main context menu and the file menu!

Hoverboard> Links to 1608: Hoverboard browser game.

Mornington Crescent> This is a simulation of the well-known game Mornington Crescent, which bears a surprising resemblance to London's Underground railway network. Players name a station, in turn, endeavoring to reach Mornington Crescent. The rules of play are very complicated and beyond the scope of this article; interested persons are referred to N. F. Stovold’s Mornington Crescent: Rules and Origins (sadly out of print). This variation only includes the sections of the London Underground in fare zone 1. There is a "station" only connected to Vauxhall called "Easter basket". The Easter basket leads you to "Take egg", also allowing you to save. The shortest path to the Easter basket is Euston > Warren Street > Oxford Circus > Green Park > Victoria > Pimlico > Vauxhall > Easter basket, simply following the Victoria Line the entire way. All playable stations are immediately adjacent on the London Underground network to the station last played. Despite the fact that this version of the game starts at Euston, which is adjacent to Mornington Crescent, as Mornington Crescent is in fare zone 2, the branch of the Northern line on which the eponymous station is situated does not appear in the game and Mornington Crescent is not an objective.

8 Help Contains various submenus, all of which, barring Credits, loop back recursively to this menu: Tutorial

Support

Manual

Troubleshooting

FAQ

Guide

Q&A

User forums


Credits> 'Some people who helped with this comic: @chromakode Amber @fadinginterest Kat Kevin Stereo'

9 Do Crimes Contains several "crimes" that can be committed. This option is unlocked by File > Open > C:\ (or /home/user) > Bookmarks/ > Secret > Enable Dark Web.

This is a joke about how the dark web is perceived in popular culture - a place that exists solely to do crimes, mainly bitcoin and hacking related.

Steal Bitcoins > Grayed out.

Say swears > Several clean swears that all link to 771: Period Speech.

Hack > Three sub-options that link to various related comics. (Gibson: Nothing. Election: 1019: First Post. Planet: 1337: Hack.)

Forge a Scrabble Tile > Several sub-options that don't do anything. (U, Z, <this menu option intentionally left blank>, and two special characters, one being a Russian 'Э', as low-pitched [eh], and the second being a crossed swords emoji (⚔)


Filesystems Menu[edit]

Drive Menu Item Explanation Sub-Menu Items
A:\ Insert Only appears before inserting a floppy disk. Floppy disk> Unlocks other options for drive A:\, which are identical to drive C:\

Chip card> A long sequence of being told 'Please wait. Authorizing...' ending in 'Chip error! REMOVE CARD NOW!'

C:\ Documents/ Nothing. None.
C:\ Music/ Leads to a long string of prompts for song lyrics. 'Hey now / Hey now na now / Sing "This Corrosion" to me' inverts the webpage's color before Easter egg mode is enabled, and plays the referenced song in the browser with inverted color and flashing if the Easter egg mode is enabled. It's actually the same menu that is shown under Utilities>Identify song (which itself is a menu-ised version of 851: Na). 'Hey now / Hey now / Don't dream it's over' links to 240: Dream Girl. 'This / is / a / story all about how / my life got flipped, turned upside down' links to 464: RBA. 'This / is / the / story of a girl / who cried a river and drowned the whole world' links to a Youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_FVAEYRM5I
C:\ Bookmarks/ Similar to Music/, Bookmarks/> Comics leads to a chain from which all comics prior to this comic except 1974: Conversational Dynamics are titled and linked. For instance, he thus here recognizes his first April Fools' Day comic 404: Not Found, which cannot be found, as a real comic by linking to it. Bookmarks/> Secret> Enable Dark Web adds the 'Dark Web' option to the initial menu.
C:\ Games/ Same as 'Games' from the initial menu.
C:\ Sequences/ The options are the lines from a Tim and Eric sketch Celery Man; the final option links to a YouTube video of the sketch. After several single-option menus, it links to this Youtube video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHWBEK8w_YY
/ home/ Nothing. guest> links to http://uni.xkcd.com/ - a command-line Unix-style interface for viewing xkcd comics (and other commands to discover) that was used as the April Fool's joke in 2010. See also the comic unixkcd.

user> Same files as C:\

root> Displays 'You are not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.' a refrence to 838: Incident and also what the sudo command will print if unauthorized users try to use it.

/ opt/ Does nothing. None.
/ sbin/ Does nothing. None.
/ usr/ Opens an infinite sequence of options, each similar to the last, but replacing the previous selection with another folder; probably a reference to the fact that the /usr hierarchy does contain a list of subdirectories pretty much identical to those of the root directory. /usr/local, too is a duplicate of /usr for files not originating with the distro, and of late /var and /opt have also started expanding.
/ dev/ Nothing. random/> links to a random xkcd comic. In unix systems reading from the /dev/random file generates pseudorandom bytes, so it fits here that /dev/random gives a random comic.

urandom/> links to 221: Random Number. In unix systems, /dev/urandom is the same as /dev/random, except in /dev/random you don't get anything if you don't have sufficient "randomness" in the system, and in /dev/urandom you get whatever you have. The linked comic describes a botched attempt to create a function that would return a truly random number but actually, it returns a fixed number (and thus isn't useful at all). This alludes to /dev/urandom providing bad results sometimes.

D&D spells[edit]

Here all the spells from the D&D game are detailed, including the traits you need to enter to get to them and the link they lead to/effect they create.

To get to a specific spell using this table you need to go to games->d&d->cast and then enter the traits - level, class, school, and components - in any order. Note that many spells list more than one class in the table (in d&d it means multiple classes can cast that spell), which means you need to choose one of those classes in the menu. Components are listed in the table as V for Verbal Components, S for Somatic Components and M for Material Components - choose "yes" or "no" for these based on whether the matching letter is there or not.

Link Spells[edit]

The vast majority of spells (285 of them apparently) are actually links to xkcd comics, what ifs, or external pages that somehow demonstrate or relate to the spell.

Name Level Classes School Components Link Explanation
Acid Arrow 2 Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/790/ The comic is about giving LSD (commonly known as "acid") to test subjects
Aid 2 Cleric, Paladin Abjuration V, S, M http://donorschoose.org A site dedicated to donations - aiding various subjects
Alarm 1 Ranger, Wizard Abjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1359/ Comic about phone alarm
Alter Self 2 Sorcerer, Wizard Transmutation V, S https://xkcd.com/1099/ In this comic beret guy is "altered" in a weird way
Animal Friendship 1 Bard, Druid, Ranger Enchantment V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1746/ Comic about making friends in a way that might attract some animals better than humans
Animal Messenger 2 Bard, Druid, Ranger Enchantment V, S, M https://twitter.com/dog_rates A humorous Twitter page about "rating dogs" - in a way "messaging about" animals
Animal Shapes 8 Druid Transmutation V, S https://xkcd.com/1278/ Comic about using genetic engineering to change an animal (in this case a giraffe) shape
Animate Dead 3 Cleric, Wizard Necromancy V, S, M http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=62 They were once dead.
Arcane Eye 4 Wizard Divination V, S, M https://xkcd.com/993/ The comic is related to creating a brand by having products that "stand out" and are therefore "more visible"
Astral Projection 9 Cleric, Warlock, Wizard Necromancy V, S, M https://xkcd.com/977/ Comic about map projections
Augury 2 Cleric Divination V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1334/ The comic is about checking the second page of google results for answers, which might be parallelized to reading omens in the spell.
Awaken 5 Bard, Druid Transmutation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1518/ Comic about awakening... badly to an alarm sound
Bane 1 Bard, Cleric Enchantment V, S, M https://xkcd.com/972/ The comic details a simple exploit by blackhat, the bane of everyone's existence
Barkskin 2 Druid, Ranger Transmutation V, S, M https://youtu.be/qFI4BQlBbig A video by "My Brother, My Brother and Me" where a person creates a "shitty iron man armor", parallel to the armor created by barkskin
Beacon of Hope 3 Cleric Abjuration V, S https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Svalbard_Global_Seed_Vault Link to the wikipedia page about the global seed vault, which is meant to function as "a beacon of hope" in case of global disaster.
Bestow Curse 3 Bard, Cleric, Wizard Necromancy V, S https://xkcd.com/214/ The comic talks about "the problem of wikipedia" which can be time-waster to curious people. This can also be rephrased as "the curse of wikipedia"
Black Tentacles 4 Wizard Conjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1926/ The comic is about an "ugly mess of code" which can be compared to a tentacle mess
Blade Barrier 6 Cleric Evocation V, S https://xkcd.com/1406/ The comic is about a "universal converted" which can be thought of as a kind of barrier
Bless 1 Cleric, Paladin Enchantment V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/55/ A what if article about saying "bless you" to random people on the phone, hoping they just sneezed
Blight 4 Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Necromancy V, S https://xkcd.com/1807/ Another exploit by black hat
Blindness/Deafness 2 Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard Necromancy V https://xkcd.com/467/ Comic related to "two girls one cup", a well-known shock video which might make people wish they were blind after seeing it
Branding Smite 2 Paladin Evocation V https://xkcd.com/384/ (Can thunder make intelligent?)
Burning Hands 1 Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S https://xkcd.com/1296/ Git messages become increasingly similar to a person on fire typing them and also relate to haaaannds
Call Lightning 3 Druid Conjuration V, S https://what-if.xkcd.com/16/ A what if with several lightning-related questions
Calm Emotions 2 Bard, Cleric Enchantment V, S https://twitter.com/CuteEmergency Twitter page about cute dogs that might indeed calm your emotions
Chain Lightning 6 Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/898/ Comic about the chain of command
Charm Person 1 Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Enchantment V, S https://xkcd.com/1777/ Comic about the Nigerian Scan, which can be thought of as a way to "charm" people into doing what you want (like other scams)
Chill Touch 0 Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Necromancy V, S https://xkcd.com/1108/ Comic about a cautionary ghost, similar to the ghostly hand the spell creates
Circle of Death 6 Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Necromancy V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1674/ Comic about doing "adult stuff" including writing a will
Clairvoyance 3 Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard Divination V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1421/ Comic about discovering a creepily clairvoyant comment from your "past self" in your code
Clone 8 Wizard Necromancy V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1597/ Comic about git - "clone" is a common git command.
Cloudkill 5 Sorcerer, Wizard Conjuration V, S https://what-if.xkcd.com/8/ Human crowd
Color Spray 1 Sorcerer, Wizard Illusion V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1882/ Comic about color
Command 1 Cleric, Paladin Enchantment V https://xkcd.com/857/ Comic about a man making a famous phrase by Archimedes into a command with an ultimatum
Commune 5 Cleric Divination V, S, M https://youtu.be/7yxaKeRRypo?t=44s Tried to snipe but turned into laughs
Commune with Nature 5 Druid, Ranger Divination V, S https://youtu.be/BOxRFMiSDZU?t=9m47s Suddenly, Dino-Lansbury.
Comprehend Languages 1 Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Divination V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1816/ Comic about language weirdness and puns
Compulsion 4 Bard Enchantment V, S https://xkcd.com/609/ Comic about TVTropes, which might create a compulsion to follow links and stay there for a long time
Cone of Cold 5 Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1714/ Comic about volcanoes, which are actually cones of heat usually (the "waffle cone" volcano in the comic is probably cold)
Confusion 4 Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard Enchantment V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1969/ Comic presents a way to confuse people by setting to "not found" page of your site to a "not available in your country" page
Conjure Woodland Beings 4 Druid, Ranger Conjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1903/ Comic about "buns" (rabbits) which are woodland beings
Contact Other Plane 5 Warlock, Wizard Divination V https://xkcd.com/1889/ Comic from the "xkcd Phone" series. With all their features, surely xkcd phones can contact other planes...
Contagion 5 Cleric, Druid Necromancy V, S https://xkcd.com/1161/ Comic about hand sanitizer, which is meant to prevent contagion, but maybe not as effectively as Cueball would like.
Contingency 6 Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/140/ Comic about how one gets cheese when they have chips and chips when they have cheese, a situation in which one condition triggers a contingency and vice versa.
Continual Flame 2 Cleric, Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_F._Kennedy_Eternal_Flame Wikipedia about eternal (continual) flame
Control Water 4 Cleric, Druid, Wizard Transmutation V,S,M https://what-if.xkcd.com/103/ What if article about water disappearing
Control Weather 8 Cleric, Druid, Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1126/ Comic about the weirdness of the weather in 2005
Create Food and Water 3 Cleric, Paladin Conjuration V, S https://xkcd.com/1774/ Comic about food in supermarkets
Create or Destroy Water 1 Cleric, Druid Transmutation V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/103/ What if article about water disappearing (Same as in "control water" - actually more fitting here)
Create Undead 6 Cleric, Warlock, Wizard Necromancy V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/69/ What if about the dead users in Facebook who are compared to "undead" in a comic image at the start of the article
Creation 5 Sorcerer, Wizard Illusion V, S, M https://youtu.be/_hH7vZF15SY "Monster Factory" episode which is a gameplay video of the game spore which is about the creation of a species and a civilization. "Creating" is also in the video title.
Cure Wounds 1 Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger Evocation V, S https://xkcd.com/1618/ Comic about trying to cure a pretty bad cold
Dancing Lights 0 Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1331/ Comic that shows frequencies of different events in the form of blinking ("dancing") gifs ("lights")
Daylight 3 Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Sorcerer Evocation V, S https://xkcd.com/673/ Comic about "daylight saving time"
Death Ward 4 Cleric, Paladin Abjuration V, S https://xkcd.com/865/ In the comic IPv6 functions as a sort of "death ward" against nanobots, buying us some time before the total annihilation of life on earth.
Demiplane 8 Warlock, Wizard Conjuration S https://xkcd.com/1703/
Detect Evil and Good 1 Cleric, Paladin Divination V, S https://xkcd.com/256/ A map of internet communities, with the good and bad parts.
Detect Magic 1 Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard Divination V, S https://xkcd.com/808/ An economic argument that "detects" what crazy "magic" phenomenon actually works and what doesn't.
Detect Poison and Disease 1 Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger Divination V, S, M https://xkcd.com/802/ Updated version of "map of online communities" which was linked to from "detect good and evil", again suggesting that online communities are full of "poison and disease".
Detect Thoughts 2 Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard Divination V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1448/ A note asking someone about their thoughts (or feelings)
Disguise Self 1 Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard Illusion V, S https://xkcd.com/451/ Comic about being an impostor and "disguising" yourself as an expert in a field.
Disintegrate 6 Sorcerer, Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/1/ The very first what if, where a baseball is pitched at 90% of the speed of light and begins to disintegrate... In a nuclear explosion
Dispel Evil and Good 5 Cleric, Paladin Abjuration V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/5/ What-if about a contemporary robot apocalypse ("evil") and how to "dispel" it.
Dispel Magic 3 Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Abjuration V, S https://xkcd.com/109/ Comic about spoilers who "dispel the magic" of watching some movies.
Divination 4 Cleric Divination V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1525/ xkcd's version of the magic 8 ball, a toy/tool for divination
Divine Favor 1 Paladin Evocation V, S https://xkcd.com/1575/ Comic parodying the Christian poem "footprints" which is about divine favor
Divine Word 7 Cleric Evocation V https://xkcd.com/741/ Comic about content producing, some of which may be divine words
Dominate Beast 4 Druid, Sorcerer Enchantment V, S https://xkcd.com/1934/ Comic about excessive phone security settings that "dominate" the thief in a way
Dominate Monster 8 Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Enchantment V, S https://youtu.be/JgChfrBsEaI "Monster factory" episode about "creating the Shrek franchise" - which is about a monster - in spore.
Dominate Person 5 Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard Enchantment V, S https://xkcd.com/1116/ Comic about confusing traffic light which can "dominate" a person.
Dream 5 Bard, Warlock, Wizard Illusion V, S, M https://xkcd.com/557/ Comic about the common "not ready for school" dream
Druidcraft 0 Druid Transmutation V, S https://xkcd.com/867/ Comic about branches of zoology - zoology can be thought of as "druidcraft"
Earthquake 8 Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer Evocation V, S, M https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/08/24/earthquakes/ Blog post about earthquakes
Eldritch Blast 0 Warlock Evocation V, S https://xkcd.com/356/ Comic about "nerd sniping", an unconventional sort of "blast" for "hitting" nerds
Enhance Ability 2 Bard, Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer Transmutation V, S, M https://youtu.be/YLg_aIlhe6I?t=23m33s "Monster factory" episode about the stars recreating themselves in a WWE videogame, in a way "enhancing their abilities"
Entangle 1 Druid Conjuration V, S https://xkcd.com/257/ Comic about code encryption, which adds complexity similar to an entanglement
Enthrall 2 Bard, Warlock Enchantment V, S https://xkcd.com/1286/ Comic about improperly encrypted passwords, similar to the "distracting string of words" in the spell description
Etherealness 7 Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Transmutation V, S https://xkcd.com/644/
Expeditious Retreat 1 Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Transmutation V, S https://what-if.xkcd.com/61/ What-if about speed bumps
Eyebite 6 Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Necromancy V, S https://xkcd.com/1015/ Comic about bad kerning, which is a "bite" to the eyes
Fabricate 4 Wizard Transmutation V, S Another Monster Factory video, fabricating a character in Mass Effect
Faerie Fire 1 Bard, Druid Evocation V https://what-if.xkcd.com/151/ What-If about fireflies
Faithful Hound 4 Wizard Conjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1193/ Comic that ends with a very large dog
False Life 1 Sorcerer, Wizard Necromancy V, S, M https://youtu.be/8-3jDVTLdaQ Monster Factory video involving the game Second Life.
Fear 3 Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Illusion V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1242/ A chart comparing how scary things are
Feather Fall 1 Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard Transmutation V, M https://youtu.be/bWvyJ05TdC8?t=13m34s In this clip, the floor is removed, causing a lot of people to fall.
Feeblemind 8 Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard Enchantment V, S, M https://xkcd.com/574/ A comic about misinformed people, who could be described as acting feeble-minded.
Find Familiar 1 Wizard Conjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/413/ Comic talking about a new pet (that is actually a computer). A familiar is an animal, similar to a pet, that serves a master, usually the magic user that summoned it.
Find Steed 2 Paladin Conjuration V, S https://xkcd.com/1651/ After the events of the comic, you would have to sort through the pile of cars to find your own; Your car here being the "steed" of the spell.
Find the Path 6 Bard, Cleric, Druid Divination V, S, M https://xkcd.com/887/
Find Traps 2 Cleric, Druid, Ranger Divination V, S https://xkcd.com/1195/ This comic itself is a trap!
Finger of Death 7 Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Necromancy V, S https://what-if.xkcd.com/117/ A What-If about death.
Fire Bolt 0 Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S https://xkcd.com/639/
Fire Shield 4 Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://www.jpl.nasa.gov/video/details.php?id=1090
Fire Storm 7 Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer Evocation V, S https://youtu.be/ujADg0nWqCw?t=15m51s A discusion of Curiosity's landing gear, including its heat shield.
Flame Blade 2 Druid Evocation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/961/ Strangely, not used for Continual Flame, despite the title.
Flame Strike 5 Cleric Evocation V, S, M https://youtu.be/J9hMe1R8eYw
Flaming Sphere 2 Druid, Wizard Conjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/673/ This is a comic about the sun, which can be described as a flaming sphere.
Flesh to Stone 6 Warlock, Wizard Transmutation V,S,M https://xkcd.com/1409/ Might be a penis joke on the "hours since watching porn" query.
Floating Disk 1 Wizard Conjuration V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/50/ What-If on boating. A boat can - generously - be described as a floating disk.
Fly 3 Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/353/ A comic where a Python user gains the power of flight.
Fog Cloud 1 Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard Conjuration V, S http://twitter.com/karlthefog The twitter account for a fog cloud.
Forbiddance 6 Cleric Abjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/782/ A comic about breaking forbidden taboos and paying the consequences.
Forcecage 7 Bard, Warlock, Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1142/ A Faraday cage could be described as a force-cage.
Foresight 9 Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard Divination V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1876/ A comic about using one's foresight to extrapolate trends.
Freedom of Movement 4 Bard, Cleric, Druid, Ranger Abjuration V, S, M https://youtu.be/sCOwRahm0so?t=1m8s Jet boots and forging your own path both enable freedom of movement
Freezing Sphere 6 Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/121/ A What-If about freezing a lot of things at once.
Gaseous Form 3 Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/146/ This What-If is about Jupiter, a gas giant.
Geas 5 Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Wizard Enchantment V https://xkcd.com/1559/ Geas gives the target a magical command that they must follow, a somewhat-common use of which is instructing someone to walk across a continent to get them out of the way.
Gentle Repose 2 Cleric, Wizard Necromancy V, S, M https://youtu.be/1Wl_yf86n78?t=20m
Giant Insect 4 Druid Transmutation V, S https://youtu.be/_1jGnFt78H8?t=25m32s Roachie is a radroach, a giant insect much like the kind that this spell creates.
Glibness 8 Bard, Warlock Transmutation V https://xkcd.com/707/ Glibness is both a spell that makes you more charismatic and the quality of being funny and insincere.
Globe of Invulnerability 6 Sorcerer, Wizard Abjuration V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/153/
Glyph of Warding 3 Bard, Cleric, Wizard Abjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1247/ The warning message in this comic functions as a way of warding off viruses, warning the user of possibile attacks.
Goodberry 1 Druid, Ranger Transmutation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1035/ Goodberry summons a magical berry with as much nutritional value as a full day's food, much in the way that a soda has as much sugar as two or three Cadbury eggs.
Grease 1 Wizard Conjuration V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/4/
Greater Invisibility 4 Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard Illusion V, S https://what-if.xkcd.com/72/ The loneliest human had no connection to anyone else at the time, making them functionally invisible to the world.
Greater Restoration 5 Bard, Cleric, Druid Abjuration V, S, M http://www.maximumfun.org/shows/my-brother-my-brother-and-me
Guardian of Faith 4 Cleric Conjuration V https://xkcd.com/1934/ The same comic as Dominate Beass. The security settings guard against thieves.
Guards and Wards 6 Bard, Wizard Abjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1890/ A guide to self-defense in specific situations.
Guidance 0 Cleric, Druid Divination V, S https://xkcd.com/1028/ A comic on communication and guiding others.
Guiding Bolt 1 Cleric Evocation V, S https://xkcd.com/1160/ Both a poster guiding people to join the trebuchet club, and the actual mechanism of aiming the trebuchet.
Gust of Wind 2 Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1378/ In this comic, a wind turbine is asked to create a Gust of Wind, but is unable to.
Hallow 5 Cleric Evocation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1677/ PF2e tips: "Hallow-led" Background has Dubious knowledge skill feat, fail pulls a correct information and a misinformation.
Hallucinatory Terrain 4 Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard Illusion V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1472/
Harm 6 Cleric Necromancy V, S https://xkcd.com/218/ A comic where harm is caused to the patient by suggesting the heart is taken out and the ventricles are blown in
Haste 3 Sorcerer, Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1701/
Heal 6 Cleric, Druid Evocation V, S https://xkcd.com/218/
Healing Word 1 Bard, Cleric, Druid Evocation V https://youtu.be/NYnldxUpYQQ
Heat Metal 2 Bard, Druid Transmutation V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/35/
Hellish Rebuke 1 Warlock Evocation V, S https://xkcd.com/327/
Heroes' Feast 6 Cleric, Druid Conjuration V, S, M https://youtu.be/_v1v0t8Q5xg?t=7m48s
Heroism 1 Bard, Paladin Enchantment V, S https://xkcd.com/326/ Used facetiously. Tricking "amateur Grammar Nazis" is a heroic victory for Cueball.
Hideous Laughter 1 Bard, Wizard Enchantment V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1974/
Hold Monster 5 Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Enchantment V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1604/ Megan is holding a snake, which is a common monster archetype in DnD.
Hold Person 2 Bard, Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Enchantment V, S, M https://xkcd.com/540/ In a romantic/sexual way.
Holy Aura 8 Cleric Abjuration V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/145/
Hunter's Mark 1 Ranger Divination V https://what-if.xkcd.com/11/
Hypnotic Pattern 3 Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Illusion S, M https://xkcd.com/722/ Literally refers to a "pattern" of lights; hypnotic in the sense that Cueball spent most of his life looking at his computer screen.
Ice Storm 4 Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/104/
Identify 1 Bard, Wizard Divination V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/9/
Illusory Script 1 Bard, Warlock, Wizard Illusion S, M https://xkcd.com/1288/ A set of scriptural substitutions that give the original text the illusion of being about something completely different.
Imprisonment 9 Warlock, Wizard Abjuration V, S, M https://youtu.be/U4rwlvMEoj0
Incendiary Cloud 8 Sorcerer, Wizard Conjuration V, S https://what-if.xkcd.com/139/
Inflict Wounds 1 Cleric Necromancy V, S https://youtu.be/Kcd44VfN-Ro?t=3m24s
Insect Plague 5 Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer Conjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1127/ A joke comparing politicians to insects.
Instant Summons 6 Wizard Conjuration V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/123/ What if about fairy demographics which are "summoned" to the first laugh of a child
Invisibility 2 Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Illusion V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1080/ A comic about the visible field, including "blind spots" where vision is obscured, making things seem "invisible".
Irresistible Dance 6 Bard, Wizard Enchantment V https://xkcd.com/878/
Jump 1 Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://youtu.be/kT2Y6ftxilM?t=17m37s
Knock 2 Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard Transmutation V https://xkcd.com/530/ The comic's idiot plot could have been avoided if Cueball simply... knocked.
Legend Lore 5 Bard, Cleric, Wizard Divination V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1350/
Lesser Restoration 2 Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger Abjuration V, S https://xkcd.com/567/
Levitate 2 Sorcerer, Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/520/
Light 0 Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/13/
Lightning Bolt 3 Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/109/
Locate Animals or Plants 2 Bard, Druid, Ranger Divination V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1826/
Locate Creature 4 Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Wizard Divination V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1747/
Locate Object 2 Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Wizard Divination V, S, M http://bfy.tw/Dh
Longstrider 1 Bard, Druid, Ranger, Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1065/
Mage Armor 1 Sorcerer, Wizard Abjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1636/
Mage Hand 0 Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Conjuration V, S https://xkcd.com/1812/
Magic Circle 3 Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard Abjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/112/
Magic Jar 6 Wizard Necromancy V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1021/
Magic Missile 1 Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S https://xkcd.com/1356/
Magic Mouth 2 Bard, Wizard Illusion V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/37/
Magic Weapon 2 Paladin, Wizard Transmutation V, S https://what-if.xkcd.com/81/
Magnificent Mansion 7 Bard, Wizard Conjuration V, S, M https://youtu.be/TamwFUUd9Yk?t=10m29s
Major Image 3 Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Illusion V, S, M https://xkcd.com/980/
Mass Cure Wounds 5 Bard, Cleric, Druid Evocation V, S https://xkcd.com/1793/
Mass Heal 9 Cleric Evocation V, S https://youtu.be/1Cj8d6EcFp0
Mass Healing Word 3 Cleric Evocation V https://xkcd.com/1520/
Mass Suggestion 6 Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Enchantment V, M https://xkcd.com/1264/
Maze 8 Wizard Conjuration V, S https://xkcd.com/246/
Meld into Stone 3 Cleric, Druid Transmutation V, S https://youtu.be/V5PlKZRQVgQ
Mending 0 Bard, Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1780
Message 0 Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1782/
Meteor Swarm 9 Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S https://xkcd.com/1249/
Mind Blank 8 Bard, Wizard Abjuration V, S https://xkcd.com/1145/
Minor Illusion 0 Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Illusion S, M https://xkcd.com/1492/
Mirage Arcane 7 Bard, Druid, Wizard Illusion V, S https://xkcd.com/806/
Mislead 5 Bard, Wizard Illusion S https://xkcd.com/1488/
Misty Step 2 Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Conjuration V https://what-if.xkcd.com/126/
Modify Memory 5 Bard, Wizard Enchantment V, S https://xkcd.com/1156/
Moonbeam 2 Druid Evocation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1738/
Move Earth 6 Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/723/
Nondetection 3 Bard, Ranger, Wizard Abjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/937/
Pass Without Trace 2 Druid, Ranger Abjuration V, S, M https://youtu.be/LHBzVTCO3nM?t=4m32s
Passwall 5 Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1608/
Phantasmal Killer 4 Wizard Illusion V, S https://what-if.xkcd.com/12/
Phantom Steed 3 Wizard Illusion V, S https://youtu.be/U3JnZEzoL6M
Planar Ally 6 Cleric Conjuration V, S https://xkcd.com/112/
Planar Binding 5 Bard, Cleric, Druid, Wizard Abjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1956/
Plane Shift 7 Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Conjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/803/
Plant Growth 3 Bard, Druid, Ranger Transmutation V, S https://youtu.be/yV9wy9ucXgc
Poison Spray 0 Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Conjuration V, S https://what-if.xkcd.com/144/
Polymorph 4 Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1094/
Power Word Kill 9 Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Enchantment V https://youtu.be/VHR0EfYACAI?t=13m51s
Power Word Stun 8 Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Enchantment V https://what-if.xkcd.com/
Prayer of Healing 2 Cleric Evocation V https://xkcd.com/418/
Prestidigitation 0 Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Transmutation V, S https://xkcd.com/942/
Prismatic Spray 7 Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S https://xkcd.com/657/
Prismatic Wall 9 Wizard Abjuration V, S https://xkcd.com/1271/
Private Sanctum 4 Wizard Abjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1663/#74b2196a-34fa-11e8-8001-42010a8e0006
Produce Flame 0 Druid Conjuration V, S https://xkcd.com/386/
Programmed Illusion 6 Bard, Wizard Illusion V, S, M https://xkcd.com/303/
Project Image 7 Bard, Wizard Illusion V, S, M https://youtu.be/bR0Ubck0IRA
Protection from Energy 3 Cleric, Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard Abjuration V, S https://xkcd.com/556/
Protection from Evil and Good 1 Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard Abjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1303/
Protection from Poison 2 Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger Abjuration V, S https://xkcd.com/1305/
Purify Food and Drink 1 Cleric, Druid, Paladin Transmutation V, S https://youtu.be/ONSWw4aBBLg
Raise Dead 5 Bard, Cleric, Paladin Necromancy V, S, M https://xkcd.com/599/
Ray of Enfeeblement 2 Warlock, Wizard Necromancy V, S https://xkcd.com/526/
Ray of Frost 0 Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S https://xkcd.com/312/
Regenerate 7 Bard, Cleric, Druid Transmutation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1024/
Reincarnate 5 Druid Transmutation V, S, M https://youtu.be/WbKrlJgwI4A?t=17m33s
Remove Curse 3 Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard Abjuration V, S https://xkcd.com/391/
Resilient Sphere 4 Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1248/
Resistance 0 Cleric, Druid Abjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/730/
Resurrection 7 Bard, Cleric Necromancy V, S, M https://xkcd.com
Reverse Gravity 7 Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1115/
Revivify 3 Cleric, Paladin Necromancy V, S, M https://xkcd.com/346/
Rope Trick 2 Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Sacred Flame 0 Cleric Evocation V, S https://www.nasa.gov/sun
Sanctuary 1 Cleric Abjuration V, S, M https://youtu.be/qQVlGrwG9yo?t=11m49s
Scorching Ray 2 Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S https://xkcd.com/729
Scrying 5 Bard, Cleric, Druid, Warlock, Wizard Divination V, S, M https://archive.org/donate/
Secret Chest 4 Wizard Conjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1762/
See invisibility 2 Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard Divination V, S, M https://xkcd.com/401/
Seeming 5 Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard Illusion V, S https://xkcd.com/451/
Sending 3 Bard, Cleric, Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/352/
Sequester 7 Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/646/
Shapechange 9 Druid, Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://youtu.be/-aWH3-46slI?t=6m4s
Shatter 2 Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/137/
Shield 1 Sorcerer, Wizard Abjuration V, S https://xkcd.com/916/
Shield of Faith 1 Cleric, Paladin Abjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/129/
Shillelagh 0 Druid Transmutation V, S, M https://youtu.be/LXxdC9X3hxg?t=8m6s
Shocking Grasp 0 Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S https://xkcd.com/242/
Silence 2 Bard, Cleric, Ranger Illusion V, S https://xkcd.com/525/
Silent Image 1 Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard Illusion V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1416/
Simulacrum 7 Wizard Illusion V, S, M https://youtu.be/1Qo1Aj_leEo
Sleep 1 Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard Enchantment V, S, M https://xkcd.com/320/
Sleet Storm 3 Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard Conjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/511/
Slow 3 Sorcerer, Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/162/
Speak with Animals 1 Bard, Druid, Ranger Divination V, S https://xkcd.com/1879/
Speak with Plants 3 Bard, Druid, Ranger Transmutation V, S https://what-if.xkcd.com/70/
Spider Climb 2 Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/136/
Spike Growth 2 Druid, Ranger Transmutation V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/67/
Spirit Guardians 3 Cleric Conjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/695/
Spiritual Weapon 2 Cleric Evocation V, S https://youtu.be/A1gTbnB-Gps?t=17m2s
Stinking Cloud 3 Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard Conjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1066/
Stone Shape 4 Cleric, Druid, Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/135/
Stoneskin 4 Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard Abjuration V, S, M https://youtu.be/LlKnEgPEGmA
Storm of Vengeance 9 Druid Conjuration V, S https://what-if.xkcd.com/93/
Suggestion 2 Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Enchantment V, M https://xkcd.com/672
Sunbeam 6 Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/141/
Sunburst 8 Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/115/
Telekinesis 5 Sorcerer, Wizard Transmutation V, S https://what-if.xkcd.com/3/
Telepathic Bond 5 Wizard Divination V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1504/
Thaumaturgy 0 Cleric Transmutation V https://xkcd.com/1131/
Thunderwave 1 Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S https://what-if.xkcd.com/140/
Tiny Hut 3 Bard, Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/905/
Tongues 3 Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Divination V, M https://xkcd.com/1137
Tree Stride 5 Druid, Ranger Conjuration V, S https://youtu.be/IDBcGgjtFRs?t=1m3s
True Polymorph 9 Bard, Warlock, Wizard Transmutation V, S, M (no link?)
True Resurrection 9 Cleric, Druid Necromancy V, S, M https://youtu.be/7-n8TZqm9Ic?t=12m36
True Seeing 6 Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Divination V, S, M http://geekwagon.net/projects/xkcd1190/
True Strike 0 Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Divination S https://youtu.be/wWOVS0XQmPM?t=12m11s
Unseen Servant 1 Bard, Warlock, Wizard Conjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/958/
Vampiric Touch 3 Warlock, Wizard Necromancy V, S https://what-if.xkcd.com/98/
Vicious Mockery 0 Bard Enchantment V https://xkcd.com/732/
Wall of Fire 4 Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/fires/main/usa/index.html
Wall of Force 5 Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/147/
Wall of Ice 6 Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/104/
Wall of Stone 5 Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S, M https://pubs.usgs.gov/of/2003/of03-001/htmldocs/images/chart.pdf
Wall of Thorns 6 Druid Conjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1970/
Warding Bond 2 Cleric Abjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1188/
Water Breathing 3 Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard Transmutation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/969/
Water Walk 3 Cleric, Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer Transmutation V, S, M https://xkcd.com/1599/
Web 2 Sorcerer, Wizard Conjuration V, S, M https://xkcd.com/195/
Weird 9 Wizard Illusion V, S https://xkcd.com/1501/
Wind Walk 6 Druid Transmutation V, S, M https://youtu.be/zpahjcaRt6w?t=12m27s
Wind Wall 3 Druid, Ranger Evocation V, S, M https://what-if.xkcd.com/66/
Wish 9 Sorcerer, Wizard Conjuration V https://xkcd.com/1086/ A comic showing the history of one's eyelash wishes.
Zone of Truth 2 Bard, Cleric, Paladin Enchantment V, S http://www.maximumfun.org/shows/adventure-zone A reference to the Adventure Zone podcast by the McElroy family, specifically the character Merle Highchurch, who is well known for using this spell in possibly unhelpful situations.

Submenu Spells[edit]

These 9 spells all appear with an arrow and open submenus when hovered on. The submenus are all actually from different parts of the context menu. Several of the spells are "teleportation/transportation" related which might explain why they lead you to a different place in the menu.

Name Level Classes School Components Submenu Explanation
Antimagic Field 8 Cleric, Wizard Abjuration V, S M Utilities menu
Banishment 4 Cleric, Paladin, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Abjuration V, S, M Do Crimes menu (even without unlocking it via Enable Dark Web)
Blink 3 Sorcerer, Wizard Transmutation V, S Utilities menu
Counterspell 3 Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Abjuration S Utilities menu
Delayed Blast Fireball 7 Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S, M Help menu
Dimension Door 4 Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Conjuration V File - Open - C:\ - Bookmarks submenu
Teleportation Circle 5 Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard Conjuration V, M Games menu
Transport via Plants 6 Druid Conjuration V, S Games menu
Word of Recall 6 Cleric Conjuration V Utilities menu

Effect Spells[edit]

These 10 spells activate different JavaScript functions that affect the page in various ways, permanent or temporary, that are suggestive of the spell that was cast.

Name Level Classes School Components Effect Explanation
Acid Splash 0 Sorcerer, Wizard Conjuration V, S Causes the background to change color between red, yellow, chartreuse, blue, fuchsia, and blue-violet randomly every 300ms. Using LSD ('acid') often causes vibrant colors to 'splash' and swivel around one's visual field.
Animate Objects 5 Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard Transmutation V, S Causes most parts of the page to begin shifting in place randomly every 100ms. The parts, or "objects" on the page are being "animated".
Blur 2 Sorcerer, Wizard Illusion V Causes the comic and most text to blur. Largely self-explanatory. In D&D, the Blur spell blurs one's body to make it harder to hit. This one blurs the elements on the page.
Conjure Animals 3 Druid, Ranger Conjuration V, S Adds a rabbit image of a random size next to the comic. Conjures an image of an animal.
Darkness 2 Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Evocation V, M Causes the comic to disappear and the background to turn black. In D&D, the Darkness spell conjures darkness. This does largely the same thing.
Darkvision 2 Sorcerer, Wizard, Druid, Ranger Transmutation V, S, M Causes the background to turn gray and the comic to fade. However, it does not appear to work.
Fireball 3 Sorcerer, Wizard Evocation V, S, M Causes the page background to turn red then slowly turn white. Fireballs caused by nuclear weapons generally appear reddish-white.
Mirror Image 2 Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard Illusion V, S Causes the entire page to be mirrored on the vertical axis. Here, Mirror Image "mirrors" the image, instead of conjuring "mirror images" of yourself.
Symbol 7 Bard, Cleric, Wizard Abjuration V, S, M Changes all text on the page to use Wingdings, Webdings, Symbol, or Zapf Dingbats. These are all dingbat fonts which replace text with symbols.
Time Stop 9 Sorcerer, Wizard Transmutation V Pauses any currently ongoing effects. (But does not cancel them) Time Stop is a spell that stops time. This would make sense to stop ongoing effects.

Transcript[edit]

[Empty frame with Cueball standing slightly right of center.]
[Caption below the frame:]
Editor's Note: Today's comic is optimized for local viewing. To see the full version, just save a copy of the image!


Trivia[edit]

  • On Monday, April 1st, 2019 2131: Emojidome, an April Fools' Day comic was released, making it look like the missing April Fools' Day comic in 2017 was an outlier.
  • Here is an example of how the game looks when entered:

  • This is broken on iPadOS.
  • The source code for the comic was released on GitHub.


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Discussion

The explanation for comic Template:comic discussion/doc was identified by 42.book.addict as being neglected and was nominated in August 2026 for This Week's Explanation for Improvement. It was considered as a candidate by the Explanation Improvement Project, but it was not successful. It remains open for any editor to expand, polish, and improve. (view the explanation at nomination time)

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