3068: Rock Identification

Rock Identification

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Title text: 'Is it worth anything?' 'I dunno, is the answer to that question worth another $5?'

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Explanation

This is one of 52 incomplete explanations: Created by a SPECIALLY ARRANGED ASSEMBLY OF SILICATES THAT WILL DO IT FOR $4 - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon. If you can fix this issue, edit the page!

Geologists, being the specialists who study natural features of the earth, are often called to interpret rock formations, either to understand the formation of our planet, identify suitable sites to mine resources, or to explain what the pretty thing you're holding is called. It is somewhat hard to identify rocks without knowing their original location - as this gives such features as local lava flows, subduction into layers causing metamorphic rock or the presence of local sediments that can form into similar looking hard things. Randall insinuates here that this is just a lie geologists insinuate to obtain free money from curious people looking to identify rocks and assures that the best way to get rocks identified is to pay the geologist you ask.

This subverts the expected "correct" way to ask the question, which in these sorts of tips is often made by asking a slightly different question that gives a reason for the person who knows the information to become interested, rather than feel like they are being asked to do work for you. Examples of expected ways to get the information might be to ask preemptively, "Can you tell me where this rock came from?". Or, to draw their attention by being intentionally wrong, i.e. "Why is this granite red?"

An alternative explanation might be that garnets in mica schists actually grow in $5 bill environments, and this was sufficient geologic context for the geologists to differentiate it from other rocks.^{[citation needed]}

Transcript

This is one of 27 incomplete transcripts: Do NOT delete this tag too soon. If you can fix this issue, edit the page!

[Caption above the comic:]

How to ask geologists to identify a rock

[A two-paneled comic, one panel labeled "wrong:" and the other labeled "right:"]

[The panel labeled "wrong:"]

[Cueball holds out a rock to Ponytail]

Cueball: Can you identify this rock that I found?

Ponytail: Not without knowing where you found it. It's difficult to identify minerals by sight without the geologic context.

[The panel labeled "right:"]

[Cueball holds out a rock wrapped in a $5 bill to Ponytail, who reaches out to touch it]

Cueball: Can you identify this rock that I found wrapped in a $5 bill?

Ponytail: Sure! Looks like garnets in a mica schist.

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Discussion

I made a transcript New editor (talk) 21:03, 26 March 2025 (UTC)

It might also imply that the geologist doesn’t know but just wants the $5 so comes up with an answer 198.41.236.163 00:01, 27 March 2025 (UTC)

I doubt they're lying about what rock it is since both mica schists and garnets are visually obvious and even more obvious if a scratch test is performed.172.69.186.157 04:36, 27 March 2025 (UTC)

The funny part is it works the other way round: you first identify minerals by sight (also Mohs scale and polarizing microscope), then conclude what the geologic context is. 172.71.232.25 11:01, 27 March 2025 (UTC)

I think this random "it was wrapped in the bill, no idea where the money came from" also implies corruption and destroying the traces of the money, instead of just payment or tip. --Lupo (talk) 11:29, 27 March 2025 (UTC)

Unfortunate missed chance to call this comic a “Geologist Tip” 172.70.176.56 13:04, 27 March 2025 (UTC)

Surely the joke is that it only takes $5 to bribe a Geologist. 162.158.94.240 (talk) 15:45, 27 March 2025 (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Hey, if you want to pay me $5 to pay attention to you for a minute, I would take the deal. That's a great hourly rate! Though I guess my perspective might be skewed, since I'm not a professional scientist but just a (somewhat broke) grad studentDextrous Fred (talk) 17:38, 27 March 2025 (UTC)

wonder if the comic is referring to the (somewhat popular) whatisthisrock subreddit --172.68.210.176 19:29, 27 March 2025 (UTC)

Whoever entered "If you're good at something, never do it for free" should be congratulated for doing quality voluntary work Kev (talk) 22:27, 27 March 2025 (UTC).

"the $5 bill would be covered with dirt and no longer be usable." - technically, as long as 50% or more of the bill is left, it's still legal tender. if it's less than 50% you can ask the US government to exchange it for intact money. --172.71.146.79 21:59, 28 March 2025 (UTC)

"Furthermore, if a rock was wrapped in paper and put in a hole in the ground, the $5 bill would be covered with dirt and no longer be usable." Citation needed. In addition to what the previous commenter said, dirt typically can be brushed off of things. NoriMori (talk) 01:50, 29 March 2025 (UTC)

Ha! I asked this exact (well, paraphrased) question to geologist Eugene Shoemaker during a class field trip to the Grand Canyon. “What kind of rock is this?” He identified it as a carnelian agate, and said I hadn’t found it there unless some tourist had dropped it. Test passed, Professor. I took it back and put it back in my rock collection I’d brought to college with me. 162.158.167.15 02:08, 29 March 2025 (UTC)
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