3199: Early Arthropods

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Early Arthropods
'Ugh, I'm never going to be like spiders. My descendants will all just be normal arthropods who mind their own busines and don't do anything weird.' --The ancestor of a bunch of eusocial insects
Title text: 'Ugh, I'm never going to be like spiders. My descendants will all just be normal arthropods who mind their own busines and don't do anything weird.' --The ancestor of a bunch of eusocial insects

    Explanation

    Ambox warning blue construction.png This is one of 59 incomplete explanations:
    This page was created by a WEIRD ARTHROPOD. Don't remove this notice too soon. If you can fix this issue, edit the page!

    This comic pokes fun at spiders, which have a very unusual way of catching prey.

    Spiders are a recurring theme on xkcd.

    Transcript

    Ambox warning green construction.png This is one of 39 incomplete transcripts:
    Don't remove this notice too soon. If you can fix this issue, edit the page!
    [Three small arthropods are standing on the ocean floor. Two of the creatures are facing the leftmost one. Small bubbles and particles float around them.]
    Left arthropod: Now that we're multicellular, what are your plans?
    Left arthropod: I'm gonna evolve little legs and swim around with them!
    Middle arthropod: I'm gonna evolve sharp pincers and use them to crunch stuff!
    Right arthropod: I'm gonna evolve glands to make string from my butt and use it to construct elaborate geometric nets hundreds of times my size to catch other animals.
    [The left and middle arthropod face the right one.]
    [The left and middle arthropod, still facing the right one start talking.]
    Left arthropod: DUDE.
    Middle arthropod: Can you PLEASE just be normal about this?
    Right arthropod: WHAT??!
    [Wide panel with three arthropods on the seabed:]
    Arthropod 1: Now that we're multicellular, what are your plans?
    Arthropod 1: I'm gonna evolve little legs and swim around with them!
    Arthropod 2: I'm gonna evolve sharp pincers and use them to crunch stuff!
    Arthropod 3: I'm gonna evolve glands to make string from my butt and use it to construct elaborate geometric nets hundreds of times my size to catch other animals.
    [Beat panel narrowed in on the arthropods.]
    [Same scene:]
    Arthropod 1: Dude.
    Arthropod 2: Can you please just be normal about this?
    Arthropod 3: What??!



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    Discussion

    Edit conflict on the transcript. Whoops! —megan talk contribs 00:45, 27 January 2026 (UTC)

    there is a typo in title text, i wonder if it will be corrected 2A02:A31A:E2CD:5300:5450:CAAA:3F64:5EE5 01:45, 27 January 2026 (UTC)

    First - 45.178.1.151 01:08, 28 January 2025 (UTC)

    Firster 82.13.184.33 10:31, 27 January 2026 (UTC)

    Early Cnidarians:

    "I'm going to be the biggest quilt-shaped bag of cells I can be!"

    "I'm going to evolve special stinging cells!"

    "I'm going to use epigenetics to lock my cells into lifelong somatic roles, and then they can use synaptic learning in their newly stable neural nets to develop novel behaviors by learning from their environment, and eventually one of my descendants will invent machines that they can publish webcomics on!" Cphoenix (talk) 04:37, 27 January 2026 (UTC)

    "I'm going to hang out in space and use my body to spell out intimidating messages before attacking and devouring my victims" 82.13.184.33 10:45, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
    Ooh someone else saw that paper about ants giving birth to ants of other species!! SO weird! 160.39.41.199 04:44, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
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