Difference between revisions of "1934: Phone Security"

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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==Explanation==
 
==Explanation==
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This comic displays a settings screen for the users passcode settings. While it begins with expected settings (Passcode to unlock, set passcode, erase data) it is continued with less realistic options, all of which are selected.
 
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{{comic discussion}}
 
{{comic discussion}}

Revision as of 15:01, 27 December 2017

Phone Security
...wait until they type in payment information, then use it to order yourself a replacement phone.
Title text: ...wait until they type in payment information, then use it to order yourself a replacement phone.

Explanation

Ambox notice.png This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: Created by a human - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.
If you can address this issue, please edit the page! Thanks.

This comic displays a settings screen for the users passcode settings. While it begins with expected settings (Passcode to unlock, set passcode, erase data) it is continued with less realistic options, all of which are selected.

Transcript

Ambox notice.png This transcript is incomplete. Please help editing it! Thanks.


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Discussion

"Detonated" ah, so this is the feature that Samsung was prototyping last year... Andyd273 (talk) 15:39, 27 December 2017 (UTC)

Ha! Yes, it's too bad their phones kept mistakenly registering as being stolen... stupid bugs. 172.69.70.107 17:28, 27 December 2017 (UTC) Sam
Back in the day if a hacker really hated you, you'd come back to your computer and see smoke pouring out of the CPU. I bet there's some way to detonate a phone in software by overheating the battery, but I imagine it could be different for every phone/battery combination. 108.162.219.64 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)
Already done. http://www.zdnet.com/article/this-crypto-mining-android-malware-is-so-demanding-it-burst-a-smartphone/ Silverpie (talk) 23:09, 28 December 2017 (UTC)

Someone needs to make a jailbreak that does as much of this as possible, especially the ridesharing and siren 😂 PotatoGod (talk) 15:52, 27 December 2017 (UTC)

there was or is at least one house in the U.S. that was reported, apparently inaccurately, as the location of an extraordinary number of stolen cell phones. Presumably that house would suffer all of the pranks that this phone security performs. As for payment details - someone who stole a phone may have also stolen banking cards, so, the account number that you steal back may belong to another innocent victim. It's just a joke of course, but, saying. 162.158.111.235 22:02, 27 December 2017 (UTC)

Made a account just to ask this - why is the post still considered incomplete? It looks complete to me. Donutman (talk) 13:59, 28 December 2017 (UTC)

Because I added the core explanation, but many improvements have been made since then (bullet points, bolding, transcript). Also, the siren would be insanely easy to do, as would an automated "send the GPS location to the police" among other things. Kashim (talk) 14:15, 28 December 2017 (UTC)
I've removed the tag right now after I added that the phone would have to sense that it is stolen. There is no sensor to detect this. --Dgbrt (talk) 19:46, 28 December 2017 (UTC)
Bluetooth. With paired device on owner, the phone can detect if it was moved from owner. -- Hkmaly (talk) 01:19, 29 December 2017 (UTC)
No good. Firstly, no phone (that I know of) comes with such a device, which I would guess would be called a dongle. Secondly, if they did it wouldn't take long for thieves to realize they have to get the dongle, too. Thirdly, that would mean the owner could never put down their phone, like at home or at work - I've heard of a few workplaces which are high security and don't allow cell phones, so they have to be left in the car or in a locker near the entrance - unless they remember to put down the device too (which would largely defeat the purpose of such a device). And the first time they forget and the phone identified itself as stolen would be enough to convince the rightful owner that this system doesn't work. Fourthly, anything wireless must work by battery. When that battery dies, either the phone would trigger as being stolen, or it would have to detect the battery dying to not go off, in which case you're vulnerable to theft until you charge the ownership dongle. NiceGuy1 (talk) 09:36, 29 December 2017 (UTC)
All points you raised are real, but don't make it impossible. Sure, it would be bad idea to detonate or something like that when the dongle gets out of range, but it can be used to start making noise (the siren option). For the other countermeasures, the phone should detect being stolen by incorrect password being entered repeatedly. -- Hkmaly (talk) 23:36, 29 December 2017 (UTC)
Just to follow this up, for most of the countermeasures, it seems relatively clear that the phone would consider itself stolen when somebody tries to wipe it or enters the wrong password too many times. The owner would have some secret wiping procedure that performs a legitimate wipe, and when the phone is wiped using a normal procedure it considers itself stolen and engages all its countermeasures. 108.162.212.107 19:08, 30 December 2017 (UTC)
You didn't need an account to write a comment - any commenter name that's an IP address is such a guest commentor. I posted many before I created an account. :) NiceGuy1 (talk) 09:36, 29 December 2017 (UTC)

I first thought "erase phone" meant "erase physically", but "detonate" makes that somewhat redundant. 141.101.105.240 11:54, 29 December 2017 (UTC)

Hahaha!!! Waiting for the iOS update with all these features... Herobrine (talk) 13:45, 18 March 2018 (UTC)