211: Hamster Ball Heist

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Hamster Ball Heist
First person to bring me Wayne Coyne in a hamster ball gets a free t-shirt!  He gets one too.
Title text: First person to bring me Wayne Coyne in a hamster ball gets a free t-shirt! He gets one too.

Explanation

Wayne Coyne, the lead singer of the band The Flaming Lips, is indeed known to crowd-surf in a giant hamster ball.

Hamster balls are a recurring subject on xkcd, starting with 152: Hamster Ball, which in direct relation to this comic showed that Cueball's biggest and only wish is such a ball.

When Cueball's friend tells him about Wayne's hamster ball surfing, Cueball says "Let's go," suggesting that they should go and kidnap that hamster ball and Wayne.

The rest of the comic outlines an elaborate mission to acquire a human-sized hamster ball by infiltrating a music concert and stealing the hamster ball while it is in use, thus also kidnapping the rock star, who would be structurally powerless to fight back while trapped within a spherical object. At least four Cueball-like guys help with the mission at the concert, one keeping the crowd back as the other three push the hamster ball into the waiting truck where a fifth friend acts as the driver when they escape with their heist. This has not been attempted, nor should be attempted in real life.[citation needed]

The title text is one of Randall's many open promises, claiming to supply anyone who does this in real life with a free T-shirt, and one for Wayne, too.

It is later revealed in 577: The Race: Part 1, that Cueball paid a large settlement for this heist.

Transcript

[Cueball's Cueball-like friend tells him something.]
Friend: You know that giant hamster ball you've always wanted? I just found out that Wayne Coyne from the Flaming Lips crowd-surfs in one.
Cueball: Let's go.
[Wayne Coyne, with curly hair and full beard, is crowd-surfing inside a giant hamster ball shown rolling from right to left with three lines behind it. He keeps his balance be leaning/walking forward and holding his arms out. The crowd shown begins to the right with a Cueball-like guy who the ball has just passed, and after him and below the ball there are 8 more people from the crowd all holding their hands up. The first four (a Hairy and three more Cueball-like guys) have already pushed it on, the next three (a person with black hair and two more Cueball-like guys) are touching the ball, and finally Megan is standing with her arms up waiting for the ball to arrive. Behind her are three of Cueball's Cueball-like friends, then Cueball, and finally to the far left partly outside the panel frame is yet another Cueball-like guy from the crowd. Above Cueball and to the edge of the hamster ball is a frame with a caption:]
Some weeks later...
Cueball: Ready?
Friends: Ready
[Cueball to the left and one of his friends to the right shove the crowd out of the way, causing the hamster ball with Wayne Coyne inside to fall to the ground, Wayne falling backwards with arms up. Cueball pushed three Cueball-like guys and a Megan into each other to the left, and one of his friends push four Cueball-like guys to the left, towards a fifth person only partly shown at the edge of the panel. (Cueball's other two friends are not shown; they could be in front and behind the ball doing the same, but not shown).]
Cueball: Now!
Wayne Coyne: Hey!
Friend: Shove
[Cueball and two of his friends start pushing the hamster ball with Wayne Coyne to the right, Coyne again stands up as before but to the right. He looks over his shoulder at the three who pushed him. To the left of the crowd, four Cueball-like guys (the third pointing at the scene and Megan) watch, and to the right, the third friend pushes a Cueball-like guy out of the way.]
Cueball: Okay, push!
Wayne Coyne: What's going on?!
[Cueball and his two friends roll the hamster ball with Wayne Coyne up the ramp into the back of a truck, Wayne pushing the other way with both hands, while the third friend still holding the crowd back holding up his arms. Two Cueball-like guys from the crowd are shown also holding their arms up. At the front of the truck, a fourth Cueball-like friend stands by the door ready to drive.]
Wayne Coyne: Help!
[The truck drives off with the fourth friend in the front of the truck, leaving the crowd in a large cloud of dust. Four Cueball-like guys are shown in the first row of the crowd, which now is shown to consist of many people, shown behind with lots of small heads (Cueball-like) fading off in the distance.]


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Discussion

Unlike most of the comics featuring real people, this one had essentially zero followup. I can't find anything on anyone trying to do it, but that doesn't mean it hasn't happened. Still, I don't feel that small blemish could make this explanation incomplete. --Quicksilver (talk) 04:34, 24 August 2013 (UTC)

I would like to see examples of attempted kidnaps of Wayne Coyne. 108.162.249.209 23:12, 13 June 2014 (UTC)

    Oh wait never mind108.162.249.209 23:14, 13 June 2014 (UTC)

Would he get 2 t-shirts for turning himself in?