751: Swimsuit Issue

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Swimsuit Issue

Title text: Parents: talk to your kids about popup blockers. Also, at some point, sex. But crucial fundamentals first!

Explanation

Sports Illustrated, while a sports magazine (from what the title implies), is infamous for its Swimsuit Issue, a yearly issue that heavily features women wearing revealing swimsuits (again, from what the title implies), something generally agreed upon as inappropriate for children.^{[citation needed]}

However, the joke is on the father. Before he could stop the child from reading, the child had already made it clear that he had seen hard-core pornography in the pop-up ads he had encountered. He is familiar with the sight of women being "double penetrated" (i.e. engaged in simultaneous vaginal and anal sex) and that said women are completely naked (implied by his surprise to see similar-looking women wearing swimsuits in the magazine). Thus, the swimsuit issue, in which the women are wearing some clothing and are not engaged in sexual activity, is relatively tame.

The title text has Randall suggest that pop-up blockers are far more important than The birds and the bees, a stance that most people do not agree with.^{[citation needed]} There is some sense towards this approach, however. While "the birds and the bees" conversation would have to wait until the child has matured enough to understand, the removal of explicit pop-ups (and other advertisements) is arguably more urgent. Pop-up blockers alone would not prevent everything, but are a valuable asset nonetheless.

Transcript

[A cueball-child, standing and perusing an apparent magazine that they are holding. Cueball himself is approaching in a hurry, already reaching out one arm to intercede in some way.]

Child: What's this?

Father: Oh! That's daddy's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue! It's not appropriate for—

Child: Wow! They look just like the ladies who get double-penetrated in the popup ads!

Child: But with clothes on!

Child: Gosh!

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Discussion

I feel like the kid in this comic, but on a much tamer scale. ChessCake (talk) 15:08, 13 December 2018 (UTC)

My editing is weird? IDK162.158.155.191 22:30, 4 February 2024 (UTC)
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