236: Collecting Double-Takes

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Collecting Double Takes
Fun Game: find a combination of two items that most freaks out the cashier. Winner: pregnancy test and single coat hanger.
Title text: Fun Game: find a combination of two items that most freaks out the cashier. Winner: pregnancy test and single coat hanger.


There's a fairly well-founded meme that singles looking for other singles can make connections with others in the fresh produce sections of a supermarket. From a single lady's point of view, men who are buying such goods are more likely to be unattached, due to the traditionally skewed gender politics of who shops for what in a couple, and at the same time, the man is exhibiting good habits in not merely stocking up on ready-meals or subsisting on takeaways while living the bachelor life.

By standing in a produce aisle with a tube of K-Y Jelly (which is most commonly used as a sexual lubricant) in his hand and considering what produce to buy (between bananas, apples, oranges, zucchinis, and doubtless much more off-screen), Cueball is allowing other people to believe that he either has plans to have sex with any connection he might manage to take home with him, or also he plans to use the chosen produce item to pleasure himself, probably sexually.

Cueball is probably not actually planning on doing either,[citation needed] but he loves to see the look on people's faces; hence, he's collecting double-takes.

In the title text, he says he likes to play a game of "freak out the cashier using two items." Wire coat hangers have been used to perform do-it-yourself abortions, many times with disastrous effects, such as internal hemorrhaging and the death of the woman. The combination of a pregnancy test and a coat hanger will be concerning to any cashier, regardless of their opinion on abortion, for this reason; it will be doubly concerning for a pro-life cashier.


[Cueball is standing in the middle of the produce aisle in a supermarket, holding a tube of K-Y Jelly in one hand, the other on his chin. The signs read "Bananas" "Apples" "Oranges" and "Zucchini" from left to right. Megan and a Cueball-like friend are also in the same aisle.]
MY HOBBY: Standing in the supermarket's produce section holding a tube of K-Y Jelly, looking contemplative.

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Inserted the first paragraph (explaining the 'singles-magnet' properties of fresh food sections in supermarkets). But can we also say that "There may be a similar attractor for gay singles of a like mind to meet, albeit without the same degree of guarantee of unattachment"? Not my scene, so beyond my direct experience, but I know it's said that it happens.

Anyway, with both male and female figures in view of main-Cueball (themselves perhaps on the cusp of 'making a connection'), it looks like he's looking at (feigning!) the possibility of either relationship, perhaps even that he's deciding which of the two to approach and proposition. Or perhaps both. The KY is no absolute clue, given the many and various possibilities that a 'kind and considerate' partner (although still freaky, to a more 'vanilla' theoertical companion) might be looking to use it for. 13:34, 21 June 2013 (UTC)

I love how "do-it-yourself abortion" is a Wikipedia link that I'm absolutely not going to click on 02:30, 15 April 2015 (UTC)

Seems like the main joke is that he will have sex with produce, not make a connection with some random person in the produce aisle. I also believe sex with a piece of produce does not constitute anal sex. -- Flewk (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

I agree. Lube and cucumbers. If it's really a well known thing about the produce section and attracting women, then we shouldn't write it off completely, but I am pretty convinced that the intention is to make people believe he is planning to self-insert or play around with a mate using such... materials. Znayx (talk) 04:33, 8 August 2016 (UTC)

Assignment: Actually try the game in the title text, and report back here with your results! — Kazvorpal (talk) 15:22, 22 October 2019 (UTC)

I edited the text to be less generalized. 17:43, 23 May 2023 (UTC)