591: Troll Slayer

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Troll Slayer
We have met the enemy and he is us.
Title text: We have met the enemy and he is us.


Stephenie Meyer is the author of the Twilight novels, a series of vampire novels popular with young teens. It is a love it or hate it type of novel, with a large following and a large portion of haters as well.

In the comic, 4chan, an imageboard, is featured. Imageboards such as 4chan have the feature to post anonymously. The users of 4chan launch an attack on a Twilight board and Stephenie Meyer asks them to stop. When they refuse, Meyer writes 4chan into her next novel, thereby drawing in a large number of fans of her novel as a counter-attack to what 4chan ran on the Twilight forum. This results in what the original 4chan users consider a ruined imageboard.

The title of the comic is drawn from the internet slang term troll, which refers to actively attempting to get a rise out of a forum. In this instance, 4chan attempted to troll a Twilight board and Meyer acted against the troll, making her a "slayer" of them. Obviously the pimpled boy she chats with is very dismayed by this result, as there are now so many more vampire-book-fans than computer geeks on 4chan, and they cannot get through with any of their funny/evil plans anymore. There may also be a reference to the famous vampire slayer known as Buffy, seeing that Stephenie's main character vampires do not need to be slain, but she then turns on those who tries to do so in real life on the message board.

The pictures used on the two panels showing the 4chan imageboard tells a lot about their users. It is unclear what the text page refers to. And also what it is that Cueball is standing next to. But a black hat, as shown in the third picture is typical for an internet troll (see the xkcd version of Black Hat), and also the guy saying LOL is already laughing out loud at you before you read his text. He also LOL's in his comment about the angsty teens that reads the books, and whom he looks forward to trolling.

In the second 4chan panel all four images relate to Twilight. The first picture most likely depicts Edward Cullen and Bella Swan (from the movies) standing with their backs against each other. This person enjoys being anonymous. The second picture with the text Dawnz refers, in "plural" form, to the last book Breaking Dawn which was split into two films part 1 and part 2. This person wish to know about peoples favorite vampire, exactly the kind of questions the trolls would have mocked on the Twilight board, now infesting their own site. The third picture is of a person who has tried to dress up like a goth vampire, even commenting on the darkness of the picture. The last picture depicts the cover of the last book Breaking Dawn with the two chess pieces. This fan seems to be searching for a date around Dallas...

The title text refers to Walt Kelly's famous saying. Kelly used it to refer to all of mankind, whereas here it refers to the users of 4chan, by bringing on the enemy of their forum themselves.

From xkcd: volume 0:

Some 4channers wrote in to complain I was violating rules 1 and 2. Some 4channers are a little slow on the uptake.


[A list of post comments alongside pictures on a website. The first picture shows a page from a book/website with a small black picture with a white feature in the upper left corner and text to the right and below it. The second picture shows Cueball in front of three people, with a unclear drawing to the right (is it a canon?). The third picture shows a man with a black hat holding up a sword to the left and a trumpet to the right. The fourth and last picture is cut off in the middle at the bottom of the frame. The visible top part shows a drawing of a mans face from the nose/ears and up. The man has black hair and says LOL].
Text picture: Hey, let's troll the fuck out of the Twilight boards
Cueball picture: I'm in. Should be fun
Man with sword picture: Me too. Signing on now.
LOL face picture: Lol angsty teens.
[Stephenie Meyer is shown sitting facing right and chatting at her computer. She get's a reply from the screen. It looks like she actually speaks the lines of text to someone, but she only types it in via the keyboard. This becomes clear in the next panel where the pimpled boy she talks to obviously types his reply on the keyboard. Across the top border of the frame is a smaller frame with a caption:]
Hours Later:
Stephenie Meyer (typing): Hi, it's Stephenie Meyer. Fine, you don't like my books. But please leave us alone.
Pimpled boy (from computer): Show us your tits.
Stephenie Meyer (typing): I asked politely. Don't make me get tough.
[A boy with lots of pimples and black hair is sitting at his computer typing (facing the other way towards Stephenie in the previous panel). He writes his reply on the keyboard and receives a reply from Stephenie coming out of the computer.]
Pimpled boy (typing): And what, call the internet police? You don't get it, do you? We've been trolling for years. We're all anonymous. There's nothing you can do to hurt us. We're the net's hate machine.
Stephenie Meyer (from computer): Okay. Just remember, I gave you a chance. *Disconnected*.
[A page from a book is shown lying slanted across the panel. Some of the text is thus cut off at the edges of the frame. The first eight lines can be read clearly, even though the last letter in both the 2nd and sixth line is partly cut-off. Below that there are four incomplete lines, where only the visible part will be transcribed, but a good guess at the missing text is written in square brackets. Across the top border of the frame is a smaller frame with a caption:]
Six Months Later:
Vampires! Book VI
Edward ran a pale hand
through his perfect golden-
bronze hair, then signed
on to 4chan.org, the darkest
place on the internet, where
all his vampire compatriots
spent their time.
Suddenly, there was [a]
[sha]rp knock at the d[oor]
[?] swept in [?]
[?r?]ing [?]
[Another list of post comments alongside pictures on the same website as in the first panel. The first picture shows a man with black hair and a woman with long hair standing with their backs against each other (probably Edward and Bella from the books). The second picture is just a white frame with the text Dawnz. The third picture shows a person from the chest and up. The person has black hair and black clothes, with some kind of collar. The fourth and last picture shows two chess piece a large one in front of the other. The picture is shown completely but the text message seems to be more than two lines long, but only the top two lines are shown. Across the top border of the frame is a smaller frame with a caption:]
Shortly thereafter:
Two people picture: OMG I love this place it's so edgy being anonymous
Dawnz picture: Whos your favorite vampire
Collared person picture: Check out my pic Im so dark just like this site
Chess piece picture: Any Twilight fans in Dallas want to meet a lonely
[Back to the boy with lots of pimples now sitting resigned at his computer without typing.]
Hairy: Oh... Oh God.

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The quote is "We have met the enemy and he is us." Us refers to the trollers. I think by meddling with the twilight forums, they brought on trolls to their own. I have changed the text to reflect the reference of the quote accordingly (currently it says they brought on the enemy themselves - focus is wrong). Adityarajbhatt (talk) 19:06, 11 September 2013 (UTC)

For some reasons, there are "twilight borards", not "forums". Apparently, /b/turds attacked people with decent aptness in "board culture". It would be even funnier if this comic implied the mouseover text is a quote from would-be book of Twilight series. 08:54, 23 September 2019 (UTC)

Personally, I don't think such a counter-attack would be effective. The /b/tards' standard defense mechanism would be to just flood the board with tubgirl and 50-Hilter-posts, and hammer that spike of Twilight fans right back down again. 01:43, 15 October 2013 (UTC)

True but in the comic it obviously worked on the poor pimple faced boy who is totally dejected in the last picture. Remember there are many more vampire fans than geeks on 4chan. ;-) Also this is the comics explanation and here in the comic it worked --Kynde (talk) 08:50, 14 February 2016 (UTC)
That defense mechanism works against a short termed spike, which is typically generated by other online media. However the mention in the printed book might push more towards a raise of the general level, instead of a single spike. --Lupo (talk) 09:04, 23 September 2019 (UTC)

The title of topic can be a reference to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. /b/tars tried to slay Twilight fans (all of them would rather be vampires than humans) and got a quick reversal. 07:45, 20 November 2014 (UTC)

Is just me or are the boy's pimples shaped like the EURion constellation? 21:23, 11 October 2022 (UTC)