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Detector

|< < Prev #3254 (June 3, 2026)

Title text: No other experiment has a lower false negative rate.

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Explanation

Ponytail and Hairy are showing Cueball a machine, claiming it is their most sensitive detector. Normally, detectors have a designated detecting job, such as smoke detectors which detect smoke. When Cueball asks what the machine detects, Ponytail claims it detects gas, dust, particles, light, radio waves, gamma rays, protons, neutrons, electrons, fields, forces, events, potentials, or states, all of which are obviously supposed to be detected.^{[citation needed]}

Cueball points this out and Hairy says that is why it has been continuously running since they turned it on. Ponytail is shocked when Cueball asks what would happen if the light labeled "not detected" were to shine, and Hairy claims it would be pretty bad. If that were to happen, the result would be really bad, as there would be no matter, light, forces, etc.

The title text states that the machine has the lowest false-negative rate out of any other machine as the "detected" light will always continue shining. This might not even be a real detector, because it will continuously shine "detected."^{[citation needed]}

Transcript

[Hairy is standing next to a large machine labeled "Detector". The front of the machine has two lights, labeled "Detected" and "Not detected". The "detected" light is lit up in green. Ponytail and Cueball walk towards the machine]

Ponytail: Over there are our electron microscope, XRF scanner, and mass spectrometer. And this is our most sensitive detector.

Cueball: What does it detect?

[The next panel zooms in on the detector]

Ponytail: (off-screen) Lots of stuff.

Ponytail: Gas, dust, particles, light, radio waves, gamma rays, protons, neutrons, electrons, fields, forces, events, potentials, or states.

[The next panel zooms out.]

Cueball: I don't understand. Aren't most of those always present?

Hairy: Yeah, it's been saying "detected" continuously since we turned it on.

Cueball: What happens if it says "not detected"?

Ponytail: Oh gosh.

Hairy: That would be pretty bad, I think.

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