335: Mattress

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The TempurPedic wineglass guy broke his ankle.
Title text: The TempurPedic wineglass guy broke his ankle.


A commonly cited problem with cuddling is that whatever arms you and your partner are lying on tend to fall asleep from your and/or your partner's weight, and are in any case not very comfortable to be lying upon. Here Cueball and Megan have invented a mattress with a slot in it to solve that problem. To provide an activity for their lower arms when they are comfortably placed in that slot, they have installed a game of "Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots" underneath the bed.

The humor arises from the juxtaposition of a sedate activity like cuddling with a boisterous activity like "Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots" with the implication that Megan and Cueball are doing both at once.

The title text refers to a series of commercials for Tempur-Pedic mattresses where the presenter would place a wine glass on the mattress and then jump up and down somewhere else on the mattress. The fact that the wine did not spill was meant to indicate that one partner's motions would not disturb the other. It is implied that he did that test on this mattress and fell into the slot, breaking his ankle in the process.


[Megan and Cueball are cuddling.]
Cuddling face-to-face is nice, but we can never figure out where to put our lower arms.
Our solution: the Cuddle Mattress!
Your lower arms fit in the convenient gap.
[There is a diagram of a mattress with a notch cut through it at shoulder level. The gap is indicated with an arrow.]
[The same couple is shown again, cuddling snugly on the mattress.]
[Cueball and Megan are giving a presentation to another person. Cueball has a pointer and a clicker for the slides that are projected on the screen next to him.]
Listener: Oh man, that's ALWAYS bothered me.
Listener: I want one.
Listener: Although... so the lower arms just sort of dangle?
Listener: What do you do with them?
Cueball: It was a bit awkward.
Clicker: click
Megan: Then we had a second breakthrough.
[The couple is shown again on the cuddle mattress, this time in more detail and facing the tops of their heads. Their lower arms are sticking through the gap in the mattress and playing a conveniently located game of Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots.]
Cueball: click click
Blue Robot: punch
Red Robot: punch
Megan: click click

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I've *so* wanted such a mattress ever since experiencing the joy of cuddling with a loved one. ‎ (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Especially when it also allows for a fun late-night game of Rock 'em-Sock 'em robots with your significant other! --JayRulesXKCD (talk) 16:10, 14 September 2016 (UTC)

It's probably worth noting that something similar to this now exists. The cuddle mattress (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Trust me, I wasn't kidding, I laughed at this particular strip every single time I see it.Boeing-787lover 08:30, 23 June 2018 (UTC) -- Xkcdreader52 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

You can actually accomplish something like this using several pillows. — Kazvorpal (talk) 17:37, 9 November 2019 (UTC)