796: Bad Ex

Bad Ex

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Title text: Since the goatee, glasses, and Seltzer & Friedberg DVD collection didn't tip you off, there will be a $20 negligence charge for this service.

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Explanation

Cueball has been betrayed by his girlfriend, and later found out that he's not the first one she betrayed. He thinks that society should provide a service that collects reports about such notorious liars, warning future dates about their true nature.

Cueball's friend, White Hat, is concerned about the accuracy of the information, comparing this proposed service to sex offender registries, presumably suggesting that people would not want to operate such a database because of the risk of civil liability for defamation from inaccurate information, or simply that innocent people would be harmed if it was inaccurate. Cueball responds by suggesting that, if such a database could not be operated as a profitable business, a state's government might be willing to operate it because of the benefits to society.

In the last panel, we see such a notification being given to a woman at a date. One interpretation of this comic could be that the bearded man is not, in fact, a douchebag, but Cueball is calling him one because he is attracted to her, and thus wants to separate them.

The "State of California" wording is a reference to California Proposition 65 which requires specific products to have labels reading "This product contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm." California is also known for being a state with a government unusually willing to try out new policy ideas.

Something like this happened with the "Tea" app, in which women could use the app to anonymously exchange information on men that they were currently dating or had dated in the past. Among other controversies, in 2025, the app suffered several data breaches that exposed user identities (including government IDs) and direct messages.

The title text lists a few "douchebag" warning signals that the woman should have observed.

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer were known for making shallow parody movies which were notoriously negatively received; some of their movies, including Epic Movie and Disaster Movie, are considered to be among the worst movies ever made. That the woman can be charged $20 without her prior consent indicates that this is in fact a government service, as this could be done through the power to tax.

Transcript

[Cueball and White Hat are walking.]

Cueball: It just blows my mind. She seemed so genuine. I had no idea she was such a serial liar.

Cueball: I just wish I had our six months back.

[The view focuses on Cueball.]

Cueball: Her exes say the same thing happened to them.

Cueball: Maybe what we need is a terrible-ex tracking and notification service.

[Cueball turns, thoughtfully.]

White Hat: But after all the problems with sex offender registries, who would agree to run it?

Cueball: Maybe one of the state governments more willing to experiment could try it out...

Soon...

[Megan and a person with glasses and a goatee are sitting at a table, on which sit wine glasses and plates. Cueball approaches them carrying a clipboard and a license.]

Cueball: Excuse me, ma'am.

Megan: Yes?

Cueball: This man is known to the state of California to be a total douchebag.

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Discussion

Interestingly, the Abstruse Goose webcomic (which is fairly similar to xkcd) also published a comic regarding a similar idea, called iScreener. --Waldir (talk) 11:41, 16 April 2013 (UTC)

Who's to say the last panel is imaginary? Anonymous 01:21, 5 December 2013 (UTC)

The 1987 spoof movie "Amazon Women on the Moon," had a sketch where Steve Gutenberg tries to date Rosanna Arquette who then uses a service similar to a credit report where his prior dates have posted derogatory information about him -- for example, not calling back after his date had sex with him. Not a bad bit of foresight for a 1980's film! Mountain Hikes (talk) 03:47, 30 December 2015 (UTC)

I saw that a user had added a reference to the Tea app in the explanation, which seemed incomplete, so I added additional information. That said, do we feel that it's relevant to mention the Tea app in the explanation, given that the comic predates the app by over a decade? I have no strong feelings either way, but wanted to pose the question here regardless. --APP6A (talk) 04:59, 20 November 2025 (UTC)
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