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Plate Flip

|< < Prev #3258 (June 12, 2026)

Title text: It's great for exfoliating your skin, bones, houses, cities, landscape, etc.

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Explanation

Ponytail resumes her role as a cosmic home inspector.

She asks Cueball when the last time he flipped the tectonic plates, because they look heavily eroded. This may be an allusion to the practice of turning mattresses over every few months. This was common until the 20th century, to even out the wear and tear, and prevent permanent body impressions. When modern box springs became common, the practice became unnecessary.

Flipping mattresses only made sense because both sides are similar. But the underside of a plate is nothing like the surface, it's essentially floating on a sea of magma. As Cueball points out, if you could flip a continent over, the new surface would be molten rock, not a surface amenable to life. Ponytail thinks the warmth would be soothing, and walking on it would exfoliate your feet. But at hundreds of degrees, it would do far more damage than just removing dead skin.^{[citation needed]}

The title text expands on this joke, saying that it would "exfoliate" much just about everything on the surface (which would somehow have to stay in place while the plate below it is flipped).

Transcript

Ponytail: These tectonic plates look pretty eroded. When did you last flip them?

Cueball: Flip them?

Ponytail: Yeah, to use the underside of the continent.

Cueball: ...Never?

Ponytail: Wow. Explains the eons of weathering, debris basins, and ... is this isostatic depression?

Cueball: It's rebounding!

Ponytail: You should really flip it. You'll get a whole new landscape!

Cueball: But I like this landscape!

Ponytail: Just think how warm and fresh the other side will feel.

Cueball: A sea of molten rock?

Ponytail: Good for the feet. Helps exfoliate.

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