Title text: Platonic solids for my real friends and real solids for my platonic friends!
| This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: Numerous spelling and grammar issues. There may be more jokes and more on the different words.|
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A toast is a ritual in which a drink is taken as an expression of honor or goodwill. The term may be applied to the person or thing so honored, the drink taken, or the verbal expression accompanying the drink. Thus, a person could be "the toast of the evening," for whom someone "proposes a toast" to congratulate and for whom a third person "toasts" in agreement
The comic is based on the quote Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends which, though often attributed to the painter Francis Bacon or to Tom Waits, is a toast dating back to at least the nineteenth century. It is also the entire title of a song, the ninth track on From Under the Cork Tree, a 2005 album by Fall Out Boy.
The comic plays on a permutation structure between two words (a type of chiasmus), yielding puns with various effects. In this comic eight persons drink a toast for their "real friends" and then for some other type of "friends". For the real friend they wish them to have one specific thing. This something is a word (X-Y) that can be split up in two meanings (X and Y), where one of them are then put in front the word friend, to explain what type of friends they are now toasting (often a bad/false type of friend) and then these friends get a wish for having what the word that are left of the original word means: "X-Y for my real friends and real Y for my X friends"
The first example is a typical toast, in Champagne, where this word can be split in the two phonetically similar words Sham and Pain, and the sham friends then get pain. Below all examples (including the ninth from the title text) are listed with explanation for all words.
- Champagne sounds like a combination of the two words sham and pain.
- Pseudopods can be divided into pseudo- and pods.
- Pseudopods (which translates to "false feet") are temporary cytoplasm-filled parts of the cell wall that are able to change their form in order to move. They are used in some eukaryotic cells to move around or to eat. Most cells that do this are called amoeboids. The amoeba is a common example.
- Pseudo- (lying, false) is used to mark something that superficially appears to be (or behaves like) one thing, but actually is another.
- Pods or pod is not clearly defined. It could refer to seedpod – a dry dehiscent fruit containing many seeds. Pods, both malevolent and benignant, appear in many works of SF and Fantasy. In this toast, it could refer to the pods in Invasion of the Body Snatchers, which take over or replace humans with alien creatures. It might refer to the dangerous podracers in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. It could also refer to the pods from The Hunger Games where they are specifically used as the city defense in the last book Mockingjay.
- So the blonde girl will give her real friends a special part/adaptation of the amoeba (Doesn't everyone wish they had pseudopods? I'm sure Randall does.), while her pseudo-friends receive real pods with intricate ways to kill them.
- Petticoats sounds like a combination of the two words petty and coats
- Petticoats or underskirt is an article of clothing; specifically an undergarment to be worn under a skirt or a dress.
- Petty means small (in rank of importance), insignificant or narrow-minded. See for instance petty crime.
- A coat is a garment worn by both men and women, for warmth or fashion.
- So Megan will hand out undergarments for her real friends (a very personal gift) and coats for her less important/insignificant or narrow-minded friends (they seem to be the luckier ones here).
- Loosestrife can be divided into loose and strife.
- Loosestrife is a common name for plants within two different genera (which are not related): Lythrum (example: purple loosestrife) and Lysimachia (example: Fringed Loosestrife)
- Loose in this case means free from restraints, as the opposite of close friend. Loose can also refer to being sexually promiscuous, especially when used as an adjective for people.
- Strife refers to bitter, sometimes violent, conflict or discord.
- So the "brunette" girl (i.e. similar hair but less dark than Megan) will give her real friends flowers and her promiscuous friend she wishes to end up in a real violent conflict.
- Ladybugs can be divided into lady and bugs.
- Ladybugs (or Ladybird) is a family of insects common all over the world. They are considered cute: , , .
- Lady is a civil term of respect for a woman, specifically the female equivalent to gentleman or lord, but in many contexts a term for any adult woman.
- Bugs in this case refer to to insects or arachnids
- Hair Bun Girl will give ladybugs for her real friends (a cute type of bug that most people are not afraid of), and real bugs (beetles, flies or spiders) to her lady friends. This is not necessarily all her female friends, it could be only those that are noble or at least think they are more important and thus would like to be called lady. No matter what most ladies dislike most types of animals that are commonly referred to as bugs.
- Single-payer can be divided into single, and payer, a word that rhymes with player. In this case this word is then put together with real to form the word RealPlayer.
- Single-payer refers to single-payer healthcare, a system in which the state, rather than private insurers, pays for all healthcare costs, a system used in several countries, but not so far in the US; it was initially considered but ultimately rejected when the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, also referred to as Obamacare by both detractors and supporters of the law, was discussed, passed by the US House and Senate, and signed into law by President Barack Obama.
- Single refers to a person who is not in a relationship or is unmarried.
- RealPlayer is a cross-platform media player app, developed by RealNetworks. It is compatible with numerous container file formats of the multimedia realm. In the past it has been criticized for containing adware and spyware. This was back from 1999 and up to the 2004 version.
- It is specifically not the word single-player that is used! this word could refer to video games that only one player can play at a time, or when choosing to play single-player in a game where more could have played. RealPayer is not a word in use.
- White Hat thus wishes that his real friends have access to state-funded health care, and all his single friends will get RealPlayer. Since White Hat is normally benevolent, if naïve, he may imagine that RealPlayer will help his single friends enjoy Internet media, when they are home alone. Maybe he wishes to impress these singles with a free app as a present in the hope that he gets lucky. (If it has been Hairy this would have seemed very likely… see 1178: Pickup Artists. White Hat has not previously displayed these tendencies too clearly). As mentioned there have been some issues with RealPlayer in the past, but it has stayed on the market for more than a decade. However, since it has recently been changed into RealTimes it may not be so cool a gift anyway. Also White Hat might wish to give away the old spy ware version of RealPlayer. But as opposed to most of the special friends, single-friends is not in it self negative, especially not if you are yourself single. So no direct reason to make bad wished for single friends as opposed to sham friends.
- Tumbleweeds sounds like a combination of the two words Tumblr and weed.
- Tumbleweed is a structural part of the above-ground anatomy of a number of species of plants, a diaspore (of seeds) that, once it is mature and dry, detaches from its root or stem, and tumbles away in the wind. The tumbleweed's association with the Western film genre has led to a highly symbolic meaning in visual media.
- tumblr is a microblogging platform and social networking website
- Weed is a plant considered undesirable in a particular situation but in this case it refers to Cannabis also known as marijuana and many other names including weed and would be used (again in this comic) as a psychoactive drug, i.e. to get high.
- Ponytail thus gives her "real" friends a western movie symbol, that will spread seeds over their house, but with her friends on her favorite blogsite Tumblr she will share her expensive weed.
- Fauxhawks can be divided into faux and hawks
- This is a reference to any French equivalent to "Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends" as "faucon" ("hawk") sounds like "false cunt" and its counterpart is "vrai con" ("real cunt").
- Fauxhawks copies the style of a Mohawk hairstyle, but without shaving the sides of the head and not extending past the peak of the cranium.
- Faux is a French word for "false".
- Hawks is a common name for some small to medium-sized diurnal birds of prey, widely distributed and varying greatly in size.
- Beret Guy thus wishes to cut his real friends hair in a very special way, maybe to his liking and thought of as a favor, but not necessarily liked by all his friends, cause although Beret Guy is weird, it seems that those around him are not. His false friends can have a predatory bird (maybe coming after them), but rather knowing Beret Guys love of all things, just as a present of something he likes, like animals.
- Title text:
- Platonic solids can be divided into platonic and solids
- Platonic solids: In three-dimensional space, a platonic solid is a regular, convex polyhedron. It is constructed by congruent regular polygonal faces with the same number of faces meeting at each vertex. Five solids meet those criteria, and each is named after its number of faces: Tetrahedron (a.k.a. "Regular triangle-based pyramid"), Hexahedron ("Cube"), Octahedron (can be considered the union of two square-based pyramids, base-to-base), Dodecahedron and Icosahedron.
- Platonic means not sexual in nature as in platonic love, which is a type of love that is celibate and non-sexual. Platonic friends are friends who will never have sex with each other.
- Solid is one of the three fundamental states of matter (the others being liquid and gas). Doing someone a solid can also mean doing someone a favor.
- [There are two rows of 4 panels each. Each panel shows a different person offering a toast. Each one has some kind of drink in one hand which they hold up.
- [Cueball holding up a wine glass to the right:]
- Cueball : Champaign for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends!
- [A blonde girl holding up a regular glass to the left:]
- Blonde girl: Pseudopods for my real friends and real pods for my pseudo-friends!
- [Megan holding up a drinks glass to the right:]
- Megan : Petticoats for my real friends and real coats for my petty friends.
- [A "brunette" girl (i.e. similar hair but less dark than Megan) holding up a normal glass with a small umbrella in it to the right:]
- Brunette girl: Loosestrife for my real friends and real strife for my loose friends!
- [Hair Bun Girl holding up a wine glass to the left:]
- Hair Bun Girl: Ladybugs for my real friends and real bugs for my lady friends!
- [White Hat holding up a regular glass to the right:]
- White Hat: Single-payer for my real friends and RealPlayer for my single friends.
- [Ponytail holding up a regular glass to the right:]
- Ponytail: Tumbleweeds for my real friends and real weed for my Tumblr friends!
- [Beret Guy holding up a wine glass to the left:]
- Beret Guy: Fauxhawks for my real friends and real hawks for my faux friends!
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